If There Ever Was A Doubt
a Gossip Girl Fanfic
Chapter 4 – Tell Me A Lie
Jenny leaned back, breathing heavily. She and Nate had been kissing for twenty minutes now, and she doubted anything in her life has felt as good as this before. Each time Nate's lips touched her skin, all the blurry memories of Damien were washed out of her brain. She had been drunk most times she and Damien had done anything. It just hadn't been real. With Nate, she didn't need alcohol. She didn't need drugs. She didn't even need food or drink, or air. He was the only thing keeping her alive.
The moment he had said "you're the one", Jenny had felt just like Carrie with Mr. Big in the last episode of Sex and the City in Paris. Nate was her own, personal Mr. Big. For now, and forever. That's what it felt like, at last.
Jenny had unbuttoned Nate's shirt, and he had removed her jacket so far.
She'd suspected she wouldn't have her first time soon, since that whole Damien-desaster had taken place. She was ashamed of being abandoned, and Damien was just such an asshole. He didn't even care she was a virgin. Damn, but she'd told Serena that she and Damien did have sex. Damn. And Serena probably told Nate, and he probably thought... no. Jenny had to declare this. She wouldn't do this mistake again, and Nate would understand. He was Nate, after all. He always understood.
Plus, he'd indirectly just told her that he loved her. Loved her. Damien never said such a thing, not in the slightest. Actually no guy, except for Dan and her dad, had told Jenny 'I love you' before. Nate didn't say it like this. But he said he always hurts the people he loves the most, and that he was sorry for hurting her. And that was enough for now.
Nate had apologized to her all the way. Jenny didn't. But then she realised, that it was probably her turn now. She had been the one trying to disturb Nate's relationship with Serena. She had been the one trying to humiliate every female Manhattan high school student. She had been the one drug dealing and running away with someone who didn't even want her. She was the one who had abandoned her family. And the people who cared for her.
Nate just wanted to lean down and kiss her again. It felt so nice to kiss Jenny. She had always tasted like bubble gum before, strawberry bubble gum to be exact. But now she tasted like scotch, which Chuck had probably given to her before, and sugar, she had surely eaten on of the cubes he kept in a mug on his desk. Nate always liked to put a sugar cube into his mouth when he was upset or nervous, and feeling it melt down slowly.
So when their lips touched again finally, Jenny pulled away slowly.
"I'm sorry, Nate. I'm so sorry. For everything I did... with Serena, it - I didn't mean to..."
"No. Jenny, just like I said. You didn't do anything wrong. Our relationship was pretty much only based on sex. She wasn't there for me, neither was I for her."
Jenny suddenly looked surprised, and glid a few inches away from him on the bed.
"No! No, that's not supposed to mean that I'll never be there for you, Jenny. I already told you that I would always be there for you, and I didn't lie."
"Okay. But please Nate, let me finish. I'm also sorry for everything I did with Damien... actually I have to admit that I just wanted to leave my old life behind and start all over. I wanted to do what Upper East Side Queens do, so I gave in and did things I shouldn't have. But I've never forgotten you, Nate. Everything that we had. This kiss back then, on the street... that was really amazing, you know", Jenny started smiling again, looking at her hands which were clutched to her dress in her lap. Nate slowly caressed her hair, and pulled a lost streak out of her face.
"Thanks for saving me all the time." Then Nate's tongue was suddenly in her mouth again, gliding along her lower teeth. A small moan escaped her, and then she lied back on the bed, pulling him on top of her.
At the Masquerade Ball two and a half years ago, Nate had given her her first kiss. Nate was also the first guy to hand her a present just like that. Nate was the first guy she danced with on her Cotillion that night. And Nate was the first and only one giving her support when she ran away. She was sure she owed Nate another first.
But with him being Nate and her Jenny, nothing could go wrong. He was the only one she ever imagined to do this with, and now she could. Here and right away.
"Nate, Damien and I didn't..."
"You didn't?", he asked, surprised. Serena had told him elsewise.
"No, never. He...he didn't really care that I was... that I was a virgin."
"That son of a bitch", Nate pressed, and they both had to laugh. He shifted them so that Jenny was on top. She started touching his chest, traced along his perfectly defined muscles, making her way down, and then slowly opened his belt and threw it across the room.
"Now what was that for?", he whispered, grinning.
"I want you."
"What? But Jenny, you don't have to..."
"No. I can't imagine anyone better than you for this, Nate. Please. Just save me again", she replied quietly, smiling genuinely.
That was the sign for him, then. Nate kissed her again, putting all the emotion he had that moment in this kiss, and started caressing her thigh. She moaned again, as he slowly pulled her dress up, and over her head.
Jenny was wearing a cute, black negligée. God, she looked hot, he thought. Blair not even close to her. Or Serena. Or anyone else.
"You're not like those girls, Jenny", his voice reminded her in her head. She sighed. That was one thing she was sure of. She's made her way from the normal Brooklyn girl up to the Manhattan princess. And Nate was her prince.
She'd been taken down so many times, but nobody puts Jenny in the corner, she quoted Dirty Dancing to herself. Jenny had fallen in love with that movie since Serena had told her about it, and that she's always wish for a guy who stood up for her and fight. Nate maybe never fought for Jenny, but he stood up for her. And she was sure he would do so again.
So she unbuttoned his pants and removed them, while he unclasped her bra and pulled it out from under her negligée. She looked so perfect in this moment. Nate wasn't going to screw it up with her. He'd screwed up with so many people so many times, but she wasn't the one to. Jenny was too important. When the last three pieces of clothing were removed and tossed aside, Nate started kissing her jawline, made his way from her neck to her shoulder.
"I wanna be with you, Jenny. Be with me. I promise, I'll make everything up to you", he whispered. She nodded and ran her index finger along his spine lightly. Then they both let the destiny happen.
xoxo
Chuck had carefully taken his cell out of his coat pocket and pressed the Emergency button he'd had installed for his driver, Arthur.
He hadn't let go of Blair. No, they were still kissing, and Blair only pulled away when she heard the brakes of the vehicle that drove up beside them. She kissed Chuck's cheek one last time, and handed him the cat.
"You, get in. I'll just have to do something", Blair said beaming, even though she was still wet to her bones. Chuck replied with an equally big smile, and pulled the shivering cat carefully beneath his coat. That last hour couldn't have been more perfect. First, he'd suddenly gotten her back just like that, and now they were kind of... engaged. That sounded so strange, he was Chuck Bass, after all. But it felt all right. As long as he was with Blair.
She quickly made her way into the animal shop, which was just about to close for that day. But she waved at the clerk and made clear that she wanted to entry. "Hello, miss, what can I do for you that late?", the clerk asked her. Blair just threw a $500 bill on the counter and opened the door behind her again. "I'm keeping the cat that just escaped, in case you noticed", she snapped. Ah, Bitch B was obviosly back. Then, she left the building and ran back to the limo Chuck was waiting in.
"I love you", he told her when she opened the door. "I love you."
It still had the same effect on her each time he said it. It felt like it was the first time he'd ever told her. And she was so surprised, that he didn't say anything else but 'marry me' when he'd proposed, it just came so unexpected.
But Blair couldn't imagine a better proposal. She was Audrey, she was always Audrey. And that moment had definitely been Audrey, but maybe also just Chuck and Blair. She didn't know. But it didn't matter anymore.
Nothing mattered but Chuck. Chuck, to whom she was now engaged. Maybe everything in Blair's life hadn't ended up as she'd wished for before, there wasn't any Nate and any Yale, but the way things were now, that's the way it was supposed to be. Blair smiled about her own luck as she sat down beside next to Chuck.
"What's so funny?", he asked. Blair leaned in, and caressed his neck with her lips. "Nothing...", she whispered. Oh. She hadn't answered. She'd never given any response to what he'd asked her.
"I will, Chuck Bass. Yes. I'll marry you."
Cat meowed as they kissed again. It looked like it was going to be a long night, full of both Chuck and Blair's favorite activity to do in a limo.
[A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks again for the many alerts, favorites & reviews! You all made me smile. :) I hope you liked this chapter, and I'll come up with some Derena in the next one. I just think there was something left to write after Chuck's proposal... xoxo ]