She woke him up twice in the night. She was unable to do what she had to do, leave yet again, without truly giving this night her all. Perhaps more orgasms would somehow lessen the pain of leaving.
Ten years ago she'd let herself have a taste, a brief vision of a future where she was his. It had broken her heart to leave, but she knew she had to. Now she'd allowed herself another taste, given him a smidgen of hope that maybe this time she would stay. And she was about to yank it away again. If ten years ago hadn't managed to make him hate her, this certainly would.
She wished she was someone different, someone who didn't feel the compulsion to leave every good thing behind, someone who wasn't always yearning for the next adventure, the next crest to reach on her never ending exploration. Maybe one day she would be that woman, the one who could stay and be Gold's equal. Then they could be together and perhaps she'd be satisfied. Today wasn't that day and she knew tomorrow wouldn't be either. But it was a pretty dream, one she would hold close to her chest on the days neither Belle nor Lacey seemed to fit and she was someone wholly new and exhilarating.
She leaned over, nuzzling his hair, letting herself breathe him in one last time.
"I love you," she whispered. "I want you to know that I truly love you." And then she snuck out on silent feet, not even bothering to wipe away the tears in her eyes.
When Gold woke up alone, he was unsurprised.
It was a different home, a different city, but the circumstances were all too familiar. Belle was good at running and he hadn't honestly expected her to do anything else. Even in the brief moments of honesty the night before, when the truth of Lacey came out and the rebirth of Belle began, he knew it wouldn't last.
But somehow knowing what would happen, being prepared for it, didn't lessen his anger.
And he was angry; there was no denying it. The roiling sick feeling in his gut, the buzzing in his ears, the way his hands wanted to clench together in a fist and punch through the drywall in his bedroom, were all too familiar feelings. He clamped it down, pushing the feeling down deep. He couldn't give in to his anger. He couldn't let Belle have that much power over him. She was gone. It was one stolen night. Now he needed to move on.
In that mindset, he showered, taking extra care to scrub every trace of Belle from his body, dressed, and headed to his office.
It wasn't unusual for him to work on a Saturday, but he wasn't usually such a slave driver that her required his assistant to come in as well. Today was a different matter.
He hadn't known his blind date the night before would be Belle, but he'd known enough of his young assistant to think it would be an unmitigated disaster. He'd told her to be at the office promptly at 8 in the morning in anticipation. A kind of preexisting punishment for the hell he was sure he was going to experience with whatever friend she'd set him up with.
As it was, he immediately regretted his decision. Anna was sure to ask questions and the last thing he wanted was to think about Belle. Thinking about Belle would only make him lose control, a hard fought for thing that he never relished conceding. He would dwell on the pain in his heart and the anger in his gut. He couldn't let Belle destroy him, not again.
"Mr. Gold!" Anna said in surprise, leaping up from her desk chair as he entered the otherwise empty office suite. "You're here."
"Why wouldn't I be?" he glowered.
Anna just shrugged. "I thought that maybe you'd stay home if your date went well."
Gold just arched an eyebrow at her.
"It didn't go well?" she surmised. "Darn it, I thought you guys were perfect and when Lacey said you had a history..."
"You spoke to her?" he couldn't help himself from exclaiming, desperate for any hint of what was going through Belle's mind in spite of himself.
Anna's mouth fell open clearly not expecting to be caught out.
"I mean, just briefly, she mentioned that she had known you," Anna's eyes widened at her words. "I mean, knew you, not like in the biblical sense. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, you're a handsome man in your own way and she's a woman and…"
"Miss Arendelle," he interrupted, a headache forming behind his right eye that always seemed to flare up in the presence of his young assistant. "Quit while you're ahead."
"Yes sir," she said with a nod. "Thank you, sir."
Anna sat back down in her chair, folding her hands in her lap and staring at the desk surface in front of her. Gold heaved a sigh and headed into his office.
"What went wrong though?" Anna's voice followed him through his office door and he stopped, leaning on his cane.
"I beg your pardon?" he asked, turning to look at his annoying assistant who couldn't seem to let this go. He'd had Belle again, had her in his arms, and he felt even worse in the aftermath. It had been that way before. Weeks of pining, one night together, and a gaping wound left behind. Ten years didn't soften the blow. It hurt and he'd bloody well rather forget it.
"I just…" Anna trailed off, seemingly trying to steel herself to forge ahead. "I had a sense about the two of you. And last night when I talked to Lacey, it seemed like there was something there. I just would hate for a stupid misunderstanding to derail something good."
Gold shook his head. "It was more than a misunderstanding, Miss Arendelle."
"I know she can be a little prickly and so can you," her eyes widened again. "Not that I'm calling you prickly, sir. That would be unwise."
Gold didn't bother to answer her, just turned into his office and shut the door.
He tried to bury himself in work, but the contracts and paperwork that littered his desk didn't hold his attention like usual. His mind kept drifting back to the night before, to the feel of Belle beneath him, the salty sweetness of her skin, the way she'd woken him up multiple times in the night as if making the most of their time together, the sleepy way she'd clung to him after the last time.
He rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes as if it could block out the memory, playing through his head on a loop. Even if Belle hadn't been prone to running, the way she'd held him last night would have clued him in that she'd be gone by sun up.
He limped over to the sideboard in his office, pouring himself a glass of scotch, the fact that it was nine in the morning be damned. Perhaps he'd give in, let himself spiral out of control. Perhaps he'd get drunk at nine in the morning and self-destruct in a way he hadn't allowed in years. Perhaps this was the final straw. With that in mind, he poured himself another drink, gulping it down and letting it burn down the back of his throat. What did he have to lose anymore?
He slammed the empty glass back down on the mahogany sideboard with a satisfying thunk.
"Oh!" he turned to find Anna in the doorway of his office. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. Gold, but these documents just arrived for you."
She hurried forward, placing a FedEx packet on his desk before scurrying back out the way she came.
"Wait," he called after her, the rediscovered self-destructive streak strong and alive in him.
Anna turned slowly, looking up at him apprehensively.
"Is there something else you needed?"
"Why did you set me up with Be—Lacey?" he asked. He wasn't sure it really mattered what bizarre thought process had led Anna to think it was a good idea, but he found he needed an answer regardless.
Anna shrugged, seeming uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
"I don't know. I guess I saw something similar about you. Not that you're a five foot tall Australian woman or anything," she was quick to add with a shake of her head. "But there was something there. Like maybe you were kindred spirits or something. I know you think I'm a bit of a flake, Mr. Gold, but I have a sense about people. It's never been wrong before. Okay, well it was wrong once with my ex-fiancé Hans. I was totally wrong about him, but you and Lacey I think I'm right about."
Gold snorted. "You're sadly mistaken. I'm afraid Miss French and I are as incompatible as two people could possibly be."
"Is that why you're drinking at nine in the morning?" she shot back with an arched eyebrow. "Sorry! I'm not judging. I'm just observing. I just don't think you'd look so miserable over someone you didn't care about."
"I never said I didn't care," he said, his voice little more than a whisper.
"Oh," Anna said, comprehension dawning in her eyes. She looked like she was seeing him in a different light for the first time. Gold didn't like it, didn't enjoy exposing weakness. This morning was getting worse and worse. "There's a lot more going on here than I realize, isn't there?" she said sagely. "I think maybe you love her. And she loves you too. But something is keeping you apart. What is it? Pride? Stubbornness? Incompatible sex drives?"
"Miss Arendelle," he snapped. Honestly, it was high time to fire her. Anna had been overstepping her bounds entirely too often. But she was right too. He loved Belle. She'd admitted she loved him as well. Why the fuck wasn't that enough?
Of course the number one thing keeping them apart at the moment was that he had no way to contact Belle. She hadn't left a phone number or forwarding address. She'd just disappeared into the ether and if not for the overtaxed joint in his ankle giving him fits he'd have half expected he dreamed the whole encounter.
A phone number wouldn't do. Belle was sure to be screening her calls.
And fuck it all, he was going to put himself out there again. Belle ran when things got tough and she was Belle, not Lacey. She'd said as much the night before. And when Belle ran, Gold followed. He hadn't done it ten years ago and she'd wanted him to. He wouldn't make the mistake again.
"Do you happen to have an address for Miss French?"
A slow smile spread across Anna's face.
"I can tell you where she works."