Life for Hermione and Severus was going pretty well. Sometimes Hermione fell into a depressed state, while other times, she was as happy as could be. Severus was happier and more content than he had ever been in his entire life. Today was the day all of the students would be at Hogwarts getting back from their break. The Head Boy, Draco, had been there for a month, as usual, and Hermione talked to him some. It turns out that Harry had broken up with Ginny because she said something about Lily Evans and Mudbloods. Well, Draco was more than happy to fill the spot of Harry's new lover. Hermione was happy for Draco, but you should have seen Draco's face when Hermione walked up to him. She looked like, well, Hermione Granger, just older. She was actually more beautiful, and as Draco put it, 'fuckable'. She laughed when he told her that if he were not gay, he would probably "do" her. Hermione just laughed and shook her head.
Finally, the feast was there, but Hermione was too nervous to eat beforehand, so she decided to pick out what she'd wear. She got out a tight-fitting, floor-length, burgundy robe made out of silk. Hermione decided to leave it open and took out a satin, gold camisole and a gold, shimmery skirt. She looked at herself in the mirror and decided to leave her hair down. For once in her life, Hermione felt sexy. She applied some dark gold kohl to her eyelids, light gold eyeliner, and examined herself once again. She decided that she would wear a pair of gold, satin stilettos. She hoped she looked as grownup as she thought and not a cheap whore. She casted a very strong disillusionment charm on herself and headed to the Feast where Dumbledore had just called for silence.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to start off by saying how happy I am to have you back. Did you have a good break?" All the kids cheer. "That's very good to hear. Now, as many of you have already noticed, our Head Girl isn't here. I will be introducing your new Head Girl, Luna Lovegood!" All the kids clapped again. "Now, as most of you are wondering, Hermione Granger actually is here, just under a disillusionment charm. Now, before you cause too much of an uproar, I'll have you know that Professor McGonagall and I will be retiring today! We both would like to settle down and enjoy the rest of our lives. Former Professor of Potions, Severus Snape, will be taking over as Headmaster as of today. Give him a round of applause, please!" No one except for Slytherin clapped, but Severus was okay with that. He was just excited that he was Headmaster, hopefully for longer this time. "Now, I would like you all to know that Miss Granger will be the new Potions Mistress and I expect EVERYONE to treat her with respect. Miss Granger has four PhD's, and is more than qualified for the job. Miss Granger, release the charm, please." Hermione did as told and many of the students gawked at her in shock. Suddenly, Ron was at the front in her face yelling at her.
"What the hell, Hermione? Just because you're bloody brilliant doesn't mean that you can be our professor! You're only seventeen!" Severus saw red for a second and walked over to Ronald, placed a hand on his shoulder, and yanked him away from Hermione, who was almost in tears. Severus cast a voice enhancing charm.
"For all of your information, Hermione Granger is NOT in fact seventeen, but twenty years old, thanks to her third, fourth, and fifth year. There will be no questions asked of her, nor of any professor. Thank you, and enjoy your feast." Severus pushed Ronald over to the Gryffindor table, offered his hand to Hermione, which she took, and led her to the professor's table. Severus sat where he usually did, because this was Dumbledore's last night, and although Severus hated him, he respected that. However, he did force Trelawney to move away from him to her rightful place instead of with him and sat Hermione down. Trelawney pouted for a while, but then turned her interest to another male of the staff. Hermione, being bored with watching everyone converse, thought back to why she killed herself and remembered the baby; the rape. Should she tell Severus? Would he hate her for it? What would he say to her? Oh, my god, Severus would hate her for the baby! It was all her fault! Well, go ahead and tell him, Hermione! She leant closer to him and got his attention, pulling him towards her so she could easily whisper in his ear what she needed to say.
"Severus, I need to tell you something, but… you have to promise that you won't hate me." Hermione stared into Severus's eyes. He nodded his assent. "Okay, I-I think that my f-father go-got me p-pr-pregnant," his eyes widened, filled with rage, he took a few deep breaths and he got up from the table, taking Hermione with him, Severus nearly sprinting to their courters, while Hermione was being dragged along, with the students gawking at them. When they got there, he cast a spell on her stomach and sighed with relief when it glowed red.
"What's going on?" Hermione asked, not sure, if he sighed in relief because he wanted her to have to deal with the child on her own, or if she was not pregnant.
"Well, this can be either good news or bad news. Hermione, when you tried to kill yourself the first time, and when you actually died, your… child didn't make it." Hermione was silent for a while. After all, it was her child, too. Even though she was relieved that she wasn't going to be a mother, she was a bit disappointed that a child of her blood didn't make it.
"Well, I guess I'm happy that I'm not pregnant, but I'm also kind of sad that I lost the child. Can you tell me what its gender was?" Severus nodded and rechecked her stomach.
"It was a boy, Hermione. I'm so sorry," Hermione wrapped her arms around Severus's neck, and her legs around his waist. "Hermione, because of how brutal the… rape… was, it may be very difficult for you to ever conceive again; even with a healer." Hermione's eyes filled with tears, and one flowed down her right cheek. Severus took his index finger and caught it on the pad of his finger. He picked her up and sat down on his bed, playing with her hair, sitting with her in a comfortable silence.
"So, I'll never be able to conceive a child? I'll never be able to have a child with my blood in it?" Severus sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around her, forming a cage with his limbs, making sure that she felt protected by him, but not too constricted.
"Hermione, I'm so sorry, but… yes, it would be very difficult, and almost a miracle if you did get pregnant." She just nodded her head and buried her face in his neck, breathing in his scent of Sandalwood and Parchment.
"Severus, what do you think all of my future students will think of me?" Severus took a deep breath and let it all out.
"To be honest, I think that many will be jealous, and try to bring you down by either insulting you because of your age, or bloodline, or even by flat-out telling you some of the rudest things. Moreover, Hermione, if they do that, you just take points off their house, give them detention, and keep your head held high. Then they'll realize that they can't talk to you like that anymore. They'll realize that they don't hurt your pride when they attempt to bring you down."
Hermione nodded and got up, pulled out a burnt orange, satin camisole and a pair of black, satin boxer shorts. She pulled out a pair of black underwear and headed for her shower, unceremoniously dumping her clothes on the floor and turning on the shower, waiting for it to warm up as she stripped off her clothes and stilettos. Finally, the water was as hot as she could bear, and Hermione stepped in, getting her hair wet and pouring some strawberry-scented shampoo into her hand and ran her fingers through her curls, making sure to clean her hair well. She then reached for a bottle of smoothing shampoo; it wouldn't straighten her hair, but it would make her curls soft and touchable. She quickly poured some in her hair and waited for five minutes and washed it all out, grabbing a washcloth and spreading Ivory soap all along her arms and back and legs and stomach, ending at her face. She rinsed herself off, and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower and drying herself off. She changed into her pajamas and walked out of the bathroom, emitting a huge cloud of steam rolling like waves out of the bathroom. She placed her dirty clothes in her room and with a wave of her wand, they were clean. She walked over to Severus, who was gawking at her, and sat herself on his lap.
"You should probably close your mouth; you could catch flies." Hermione giggled as Severus snapped his mouth shut, and very lightly ran his fingers up and down her sides, making her squirm.
"What's wrong, Hermione? Surely, our new Potions Mistress isn't ticklish, is she?" Hermione kept her lips closely pressed together, not answering, which obviously meant that she was. Severus dug his fingers into her ribs, light enough not to cause her pain, but heavy enough to make her squirm and squeal.
"Severus, stop! Sevvy, stop!" Severus paused.
"What did you just call me?" His voice was terrifyingly calm, but as Muggles say, 'always calm before the storm'. Hermione gave him a cheeky grin, although she was quite nervous on the inside.
"I called you Sevvy! Don't you just love it?" She exclaimed, mockingly excited. Severus picked her up off the couch and dropped her on their bed that they'd be sharing with each other tonight, and began mercilessly tickling her again. She screeched in surprise and tried to wriggle out of his arms, but he was so much stronger than she was, that it was impossible to try to get out, so she just did the most distracting thing possible; she kissed him. Immediately, he stilled in shock. He loved the feeling of her full lips pressed so gently against his thin, yet soft mouth. His arms slowly slid around her waist and brought her just a bit closer to him, if that were physically possible. Hermione wrapped her legs tighter around his hips and wrapped her arms around Severus's neck, gasping in surprise and pulling away when she felt his not-so-subtle erection. It reminded her toomuch of her- her father….
"Severus, I-I'm so sorry, I just- I just. I'm just not ready for… for that. I-I," Severus, placed his left index finger against Hermione's lips to keep her from babbling any longer than needed.
"Hermione, its fine. I shouldn't have pushed you beyond what you were ready, I just, it was- was, err, instinct. I- I couldn't help it, I suppose," Severus looked beyond embarrassed from his now- limping hard-on. Hermione nearly giggled, but that really would have ruined the moment.
"No, it wasn't your fault, I was practically assaulting you, and you simply reacted the way anyone would. Severus, I know that I'll be ready one day, but I just- I just can't now. Severus, I'm so sorry, I-I-"
"Shh, it's okay, it's fine, and don't you dare try and blame this on yourself, you weren't doing anything wrong. After the things that your father did to you, I see exactly where you're coming from." Hermione was still crying, but there was something in the way he said those sentences… almost like a sorrow. A voice of experience; was Severus abused like her? On the other hand, was she just imagining things as usual? If he happened to face abuse as a child, why wouldn't he have told her? Well, she had to try to see it from his perspective, too. Severus Snape was very stubborn and seemed to be emotionless, terrified that if he showed the wrong person his feelings, they would demean him for it. Would he be angry if she asked him such a blunt question? Well, there was really only one way to find out….
"Sev, were there times when your father or mum… mistreated you?" She inwardly cringed at how stupid she must sound, because Severus tensed up a great deal.
"Hermione, there were millions of times when every child mistreated me; Potter, Lupin, Black, Pettigrew, Dumbledore, and yes, even my father." Severus's mind was racing. What did he do to make her suspect anything? Inside he was a mess, but on the outside, he forced himself to remain calm.
"Severus, I meant, did your father ever… you know, like, abuse you?" He cringed and figured why not tell her? She'd find out anyways either from Dumbledore, or because she'd hear or see one of his nightmares take place.
"Hermione, I trust that if I tell you this one large secret, then I won't be hearing from every goddamn teacher how fucking sorry they are? If I tell you this, then I trust that you'd never tell another soul. The only people who know even the slightest bit is Dumbledore, for he's the one who got me out, Poppy, because every time we'd come back from break, she'd have to give me back my nutrition and get rid of my scars, and McGonagall, because Dumbledore thought it'd "be right" to tell her. So yes, Hermione, I used to face abuse everyday, and it was because of my dunderhead father, who happened to become quite cruel when drunk, which he was every night.
My mother tried her best to keep him away from her and me, but even though she was a witch, she somehow still loved Tobias and didn't want to hurt him. She put up with his beatings, his rapes, until she was nearly dead. That was when I interfered. I told him that it was immature for him to be raping and beating on a woman who was nearly dead. He laughed and hit me repeatedly with his fist. It was that night when he raped me. He seemed to enjoy taking away his twelve-year-old son's innocence, while his mother watched in agony, praying for her husband to stop. My father was a sick man; almost as disgusting as your father is, Hermione. There, you've now heard my story, I want to hear yours."
Hermione gulped, she wasn't sure if Severus would hate her, or even like her anymore. After all, she was "used goods".
"Well, first, I was sitting in my room and three owls came to my door, and the first I recognized it as Pig, Ginny and Ron's owl. It just asked me to forgive him for cheating on me with that skank, Lavender Brown. The second one that I opened was from you; it was the one asking me to be your apprentice. The last one was from my father, and he told me that I should be prepared because one of my 'magic boxes' killed my mum. I had stored them in my room, but she'd gotten into them, and he was coming to pick me up at Platform 9 3/4 I started crying and I made the letter burst into flames, and Draco, who found me on the ground, just kind of comforted me. We were up until four-thirty, and I remembered that I had a meeting with you. So I got that out of the way, and when I returned to my father, he didn't seem happy to see me.
After three weeks of living with him, he'd push me into the walls, saying that it was an accident, or he'd tell me that my mum used to suck him off in the kitchen, and insinuate that I should do the same. Then, one day, he cut me up really badly, and I blacked out. When I woke back up, I was on the ground, there was blood, and other shit all over my thighs and legs. It didn't take a doctor to figure out that my father raped me while I was unconscious. He did it another time, too, but I can't remember it, I just remember waking up to it. That one time when you were coming to my house to get me back to Hogwarts, he was going to-to rape me again, but I would be conscious this time. Then, you came and you were the one to save me, and I will forever be in your debt, Severus Snape." Severus was astonished. He was the one to save her from her very first conscious rape. Not that an unconscious rape was tons better, but he wished his father gave him the joy of being knocked out while he was 'satisfying himself'. Bastard, thy name is Tobias.
"Hermione, I think that you would've been able to defend yourself. You are brilliant and strong. And, you've already rescued me with your friendship; there is no need for you to be in my debt." Hermione felt a bit putout when Severus said friendship, but, it could be worse, he could've said that whatever this was, it didn't mean anything to him.
"Well, Severus, I'm flattered that you think so, but still, I'm thankful for your companionship." Severus's shoulders drooped shortly when she merely said 'companionship'. You stupid git, of course she wouldn't want a relationship with you! You're the Greasy Git of the Dungeons! You're the man that tortured her for seven years by publicly embarrassing her all the time! No wonder she doesn't want anything more than friendship!
You see, Severus Snape really was the Slytherin that the Sorting Hat claimed he was. He only said 'friendship' because he wanted to see if Hermione would ever correct him, but she didn't; she merely agreed with him. Even if they'd kissed, it obviously meant nothing to her. He was just another object to play around with and discard when something better came her way. She was just like Lily, in a sense. She would lead him on and allow him to fall in love with her before a nice bloke came along, and she'd forget all about him. Just like Lily. Severus Snape learned the hard way to never to let it get that far. Not again. His heart couldn't take another split down the middle as it did roughly twenty years ago. Not again.
Wow, how sad, right? Well, I guess you'll have to come back next chapter and see if they work anything out! (Reviews might help me speed things along, too!)