AN: Hey guys, hope you are all having a great pre-christmas (or if you don't celebrate, just a great week in general)! I know this episode (er... chapter) took a little longer to upload, and I'm not going to lie, I was totally just too hungover to write. In any case, I hope you like the direction I'm taking the story. I'm a fan of the slow burn, and I think it's particularly relevant for these two characters (I just can't imagine them rushing into anything). However, this chapter definitely has more of a Cassian/Jyn vibe to it.
I love all the reviews (keep them coming s'il vous plait), don't be afraid to point out things you wish I would change/ work on. As always, I don't own the story, and this fic is rated M for language (currently) and for future chapters. Enjoy!
Ep. 3 – Too Full a House
Jyn had always assumed the rebel life was, if lacking in glamour, at the very least dangerous and exciting. The unseen reality, she had realized since boarding Cassian's ship, was that her hours were more often than not filled with boredom. There was little to do by way of entertainment, no holofics or books were kept on board because the craft was intended for short trips at lightspeed. The ship largely ran itself, under scrupulous – almost matronly – oversight from K-2, leaving little for Jyn to do. Occasionally, Jyn listened to K-2 and Cassian play 'cards', which seemed to be a relic from the early days of man. Try as she might she couldn't understand the intricacies of the game, which often seemed to take different forms entirely.
After days of purposefully keeping to herself and limiting her contact with Cassian and K-2, she appeared in the doorframe of the galley, made her way over to the table, and sat between the two of them. Too proud to explain herself, she raised a combative eyebrow at Cassian – daring him to question her. He merely gazed steadily back at her, shifting the cards between his hands in intricate patterns.
After Jyn begrudgingly admitted that she had never played before, Cassian and K-2 explained the basis of card-playing. The strange faces became Kings and Queens, and the colours and suits took on new meaning, the practice of shifting around the cards became known to her as 'shuffling'. She learned that the deck itself wasn't a game, but a tool for playing. Jyn slowly realized the ingenuity of a game that allows for nearly incalculable variation. Cassian was a focused and sincere teacher, methodically explaining the nuances of the deck, never laughing at her missteps. Jyn found her eyes tracing the shape of his brow, its furrow less prominent than she had seen before. He seemed to have a familiarity with the cards, a certain ease that indicated a life of playing. Slowly, the tension between the trio faded, replaced with a tentative camaraderie.
Jyn soon became infatuated with poker, intrigued that there were stakes to be had, that real consequences could result from a fabricated game. After being ruthlessly exploited by K-2 for four nights in a row, both Cassian and Jyn decided that the game would be best played between the two of them. As a result of their losses, Jyn and Cassian had amassed a series of K-2's unwanted duties, ranging from unclogging the fresher to greasing the many cogs and circuits of the ship.
"In human culture, it is considered bad taste to exclude others," K-2 pouted, after Jyn and Cassian refused to play another round of poker with him.
"We're lightyears away from human culture. Besides, there's no fun in playing when you can calculate the exact probability of each hand," Cassian pointed out, barely hiding a grin at the disgruntled droid.
"We just can't stand losing to you anymore Kay-tue," Jyn added, sending a conspiratorial glance in Cassian's direction. "You're far too superior."
The droid looked momentarily placated as he considered Jyn's words.
"Very well," he conceded, "it does seem only sporting to give the less capable a chance." The droid turned to leave the galley, stooping through the human-sized door frame. Turning back at the last moment, he looked at Cassian.
"With near certainty, Jyn Erso will beat you swiftly. She is far more intelligent than you," K-2 warned, leaving for the cockpit.
Cassian and Jyn watched the droid leave in stunned silence, only looking at one another after he could no longer be heard making his way to the helm of the ship. Jyn unsuccessfully tried to stifle a snicker at Cassian's bewildered expression, his eyes wide and mouth agape.
"He's right you know," she teased impishly. "Far more intelligent."
He remained silent for a moment, his baffled gaze sliding between Jyn and the doorway K-2 had recently abandoned. His mouth audibly snapped shut as he reschooled his features into their usual mask of practiced focus.
"I may have crossed a couple wires when I reprogrammed him," Cassian retorted, his voice clipped but good-natured. "He says unfounded things. No reason to put stock in it." He intently shuffled the cards, elaborately manipulating them in his hands. Jyn leaned forward, chin resting on her hands, her eyes alight with trouble.
"Well now that you have your honour to defend," she grinned, "I guess you should start dealing."
Cassian sighed but didn't complain, dealing the cards neatly between the two of them, placing the remaining pile in the center of the table.
"Set the stakes, Erso." He countered, voice low, gazing at her intently, his fingers knit together.
Suddenly, Jyn realized the potential gravity of the otherwise lighthearted situation. She was not naïve – she knew how other, perhaps more confidently wanton women may approach this situation. She briefly imagined what it might be like if she behaved as they would. For much of their initial time together, Jyn had perhaps purposely ignored the aspects of Cassian that drew her to him. The way his hair fell over his ever-furrowed brow, the hint of stubble on his cheeks, his worn strength. The quiet weariness he exuded, an unyielding focus. All these things together created a near-gravitational pull, and she felt as though she had fallen into orbit around him. He was a point of constancy bordering on comfortable predictability in a world which she found so turbulent and changing.
Jyn realized she had gone far to long without answering, a certain tension forming at her silence. This was a tension very different than had been present the first day they met. That was a tension borne of mistrust and anger, where blood was set to boil. This was a tension perhaps more uncomfortable, it made Jyn want to run from the room and yet kept her rooted to her seat. Forming an answer, Jyn found her throat dry and her voice near cracking.
"Stakes?" She trailed off. "We could… play for nutri-bars?" She said weakly, her nervousness turning her answer into a question. The instant she said it, she wanted to kick herself for being so cowardly, for not reaching out and grasping at an opportunity she feared she would never see again.
Cassian took a moment to answer, rifling through his cards before looking up.
"I don't think that's much of an incentive," he intoned, "we both know they taste like shit. What else have you got?"
He was pushing her, she realized. Even with barely any experience, Jyn understood that they were now playing a game far older than poker. Due to a healthy mixture of anxiety and pride, Jyn settled on an answer that neither clearly invited nor dismissed the idea of… of what she was not quite sure.
"When you lose," she quipped, not without jest. "You have to sing me a song. Properly too, not a half-assed nursery rhyme."
Back on more familiar grounds, Jyn felt her confidence begin to resurface. The ball was back in his proverbial court, where she preferred it to be. If he was surprised or disappointed at her side-stepping, he didn't show it, instead his eyes glinted with levity.
"Whether or not you have the better cards," he replied, "you lose. I have a truly terrible voice."
With a resurfaced sense of bravado, Jyn found herself able to banter with Cassian, only occasionally distracted by a sidelong glance. Unsurprisingly, Jyn won round after round, until the 'best-of-three' became 'best-of-nineteen', and Cassian had to accept his fate.
"A bet is a bet," Jyn gloated as Cassian tried to back out of singing. He stood, blushing, at the end of the table, fiddling with the deck of cards. Jyn felt a twinge of sympathy at his nervousness, but found the entire situation too amusing to let him renege.
"I'll… I'll sing a song if you tell me about your necklace," he blurted out, the lilt in his voice becoming more pronounced as his tone became huskier. Surprised, Jyn glanced down to realize the jagged crystal she wore on a cord had escaped the confines of her shirt.
"Okay," Jyn murmured, surprising herself. She wasn't prone to divulging information about her life, much less information about a family she had assumed for so long to be dead. "You have to go first."
Nodding, Cassian visibly gulped before shakily intoning a few bars of melody in a language Jyn had never heard – presumably his native tongue. The tune was sweet if a little sad, and sounded like a folk song of sorts. Jyn felt a slight nostalgia at his foreign words, sung in the way of one who has been gone from home for a long time.
"You weren't lying," Jyn grinned, speaking after a moment, "you really are a terrible singer."
Shooting her a dirty look, Cassian took a deep breath, clearly glad to be done with his performance.
"Fair's fair," he retorted, "tell me about the necklace." He spoke almost tentatively, as though he was uncertain she would follow through on her end of the bargain.
Without looking up at him, Jyn explained that her mother had given her the necklace shortly before she had died, and that it was an heirloom of sorts. She spoke quickly and without emotion, but it was evident to Cassian that her demeanor was a rehearsed front, and that the memories of her family were not easy to reckon with.
Nodding his gratitude, not willing to cheapen the moment with verbal platitude, Cassian rose.
"We should go to bed, time is a fickle thing in space and abiding by the clock can keep a crew sane," he said.
Jyn hastily rose to her feet, legs unsteady, and quickly made her way towards the door. Cassian had the unsettling habit of both putting her at ease and on edge, at times simultaneously.
Both Cassian and Jyn made to exit, eager to escape the tension that had yet again been growing. In their urgency, they reached the doorway at the same time, crowded together in the tight space of the frame. Lips parted, Jyn was forced to look up to see Cassian, momentarily frozen by their proximity. He was looking back down at her, equally as transfixed. The air between them felt so dense that dust particles seemed to freeze midair. Jyn could feel the cool shape of the door frame pressed against her back, every nerve of her body hyperaware of her surroundings.
As they heard K-2 clatter around in a distant part of the ship, the trance was broken. Both Jyn and Cassian attempted to move from the doorway, unsuccessfully timing their movements. After multiple fumbles, Cassian gripped Jyn by her upper arms and manoeuvered both of them through the doorway into the slightly wider corridor outside. With hastened goodnights, they hurried back to their individual quarters, firmly sealing their doors behind themselves.
Back in her cramped room, Jyn perched gingerly on the edge of her bed, mind racing as it replayed the last few hours. Images of Cassian's face – serious and quiet, or grinning but genuine– chased each other through her head.
Lying awake, Jyn knew not exactly what she wanted, but with growing certainty she realized she wanted it.