"Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun little darling. Here comes the sun, and I say…It's all right."
–The Beatles, Here Comes the Sun.
Kate woke with a start. She was disoriented, confused and didn't recognize her surroundings at all. She turned to her side and saw that she had been sleeping outdoors. She appeared to be in some sort of meadow. Confused, she sat up to gain a better vantage point. As she took in her surroundings she became more alarmed. She definitely hadn't gone to sleep here.
She stood up and felt a gentle breeze sweep across her face. Taking in her surroundings she noticed that the meadow she'd awakened in was a beautiful shade of vibrant green, sprinkled with flowers that offered a sweet smell to the air. To her right was a slight hill which led down to some sort of lake, a large willow tree swaying with the breeze close to the water's banks.
To her left Kate saw what looked like the back of a house, a small white cottage. She took the home in and was struck with a feeling of déjà vu. She felt as if she'd been in this place before. The sky above her was a deep blue and the sun felt warm on her face. Wait a minute, Kate thought to herself, warm? Where the hell am I? February in New York does not equal warm. Kate looked down at herself. Her hair hung loosely on her back, curls softly being swept up with the breeze. She was wearing a soft cotton dress, a sun dress of some form, completely white and very beautiful. She took in her bare arms, looked down to her bare feet and wondered again exactly where she was and how she'd gotten there. She placed her hand on her neck and noticed that something was very wrong. Sliding her hand down her chest she thought to herself, where is my mother's ring? Her dad's watch was also gone. What the HELL! Kate was becoming angry. Then she froze…her hand wandered further down her chest and over her heart and she noticed it, there was nothing, Kate Beckett's skin was smooth. She looked down to find no scar, no bullet wound. She didn't understand.
At that moment she noticed that smoke appeared to be coming from the chimney of the cottage. She walked towards the small house and contemplated where she was. Surely the person inside could give her some clue as to what was going on. As she approached the house she was hit with another feeling of déjà vu. The path, the bright and beautiful flowers, an archway to her right that seemed to lead back to some sort of garden, and there it was…a red door. Her breath caught, her heart sped up, Castle's painting! I'm here, but how?
She was startled from her thoughts by the red door, which opened. A woman stepped out and smiled warmly at her. "Hello Katie." The woman said. "I've been waiting for you sweetie." She was stunned, emotions of disbelief and pain, of hope and longing ran through her. Kate mustered up the ability to form the word and spoke "Mom?"
"Hi sweetheart." Johanna answered. Kate ran to her mother and was in her arms. She cried tears of joy and inhaled her mother's scent. "But, how? What? I don't understand. Oh I've missed you so much mom." She buried her face into her mother's hair, overwhelmed by her presence.
"I know baby. I've been here though, watching you and your dad, loving you all of the time." She smiled and took her daughter's face in her hands. "I'm so proud of the woman you've become Katie; of your bravery and your quest for the truth. You are all that I'd imagined you could be and even more." Kate held to her mother as she did when she was a child and her mom had been gone on a trip. Johanna rubbed her back and whispered words of comfort to her daughter. After a few moments Kate looked into her mother's eyes.
"How did you? Where did you? Am I dead mom?" Kate couldn't find the words to express her confusion.
"Yes baby. You are." Her mother replied with a soft and wistful smile on her face.
In that moment Kate remembered. "The car. I was driving. I didn't see the light!" As she recalled the events she began to trail off, left with one last word on her tongue, "Castle." She spoke more to herself than to her mother. I died in a car accident. I'm a cop. I've survived freezing, drowning, my apartment blowing up, taking a bullet and countless other situations to die in an accident! Seriously!
As if reading her thoughts her mother laughed, " Katie, we can't predict when our time will come or how it will. Although I must say, you certainly had enough 'experience' in your short life my dear."
Kate smiled, "it just wasn't on the top of my list of ways I would go is all." Soon her thoughts wandered back and settled on Castle.
"Mom, Rick…he won't understand." She spoke, as if pleading with her mother.
"In time he will, in time he will heal." Kate was angry.
"But we never got to…there was so much left to. Mom he'll never know how much I…"
"How much you loved him?" Kate nodded sadly, a tear slipping down her cheek.
"I promise you that one day he will." With that Johanna took her daughter and led her to the inside of the cabin. "Let's have some tea sweetheart. I have Jasmine. It was your favorite when you were younger." Kate nodded as she fondly remembered her regular chats with her mother over a hot cup of tea.
The cabin was warm and cozy on the inside. The living room had two love seats, sitting on both sides of a beautiful fire place. Above the fireplace was a painting of what appeared to be the lake outside. Soft curtains adorned the windows, giving the room a natural glow from the outdoors. The wooden floor was covered with a soft, plush throw rug that ran between the love seats. Calming earth tones were featured throughout the space, and the air was filled with the sweet smell of cinnamon and baking bread. It smelled wonderful, like home, like childhood when her mother would bake on the weekends.
A stereo sat against the wall leading towards the kitchen. Kate smiled to herself "Really, we have music in heaven?" She laughed at the oddity of the stereo, which looked a bit old fashioned. Her mother replied "This isn't heaven sweetie, and we have music because you wanted it." Kate looked after her mother, confusion wrinkling her brow as she walked into the kitchen.
The Kitchen was also warm and cozy, soft yellow on the walls and a wooden island in the center of the room. The windows had soft blue curtains, making this room decidedly brighter than the last. Kate saw a tea kettle warming on the old stove.
They continued the tour to a beautiful back porch that overlooked the garden. So it was a garden behind the arch, Kate thought to herself. Comfortable chairs were out there as well, surrounding an antique-looking table. Next, they entered the bathroom. A beautiful bathtub was in the center, bigger than the one she'd had in her own apartment, with candles adorning the room completely.
Their last stop was a very comfortable-looking bedroom, with a soft and comfortable bed in the center of the room. Once again, this room had a very antique feeling to it, as if they were in a country-themed bed and breakfast. Kate felt at home here and she smiled to herself, feeling the soft texture of the pale blue down comforter. She hadn't noticed her mother was not behind her until she heard her voice calling to her.
"Katie, tea is ready in the living room dear."
Kate smiled to herself as she made her way back to the main room. A soft fire crackled in the fireplace and added a cozy feeling to the atmosphere. "I can't believe I'm here, sipping tea with my mother." Kate felt truly happy, content. Johanna smiled at her daughter and waited for what she knew would come next, and soon it did.
With a furrowed brow Kate looked to her mother, "Mom. You said that this wasn't heaven, but I'm dead. If we're not in heaven, and I can't imagine that this is hell, then where are we?"
"We're in the in-between Katie. We're not on earth, but we've not moved on to heaven yet. We all move on when we're ready to."
Kate took in this piece of information, "Where is everyone else?" she asked.
"Well, some are here, in their own places, their creations, others decided to move on." Kate nodded at her mother's explanation, but then paused. "Is this your creation mom?" Johanna smiled softly at Kate. "No sweetheart, this is your creation."
"But how?" Kate questioned.
"Well, we create our own 'universe', a place where we loved, or a place where we felt loved maybe. A place that is safe. This must have been a safe place for you Katie."
Kate smiled. Castle. Her heart ached a little bit again. "It wasn't a place mom, it was a painting." I saw it on Castle's wall the night that we-" Kate stopped and blushed, bringing her fingers to her lips in memory.
"The night you kissed?" Johanna smiled and lovingly, albeit mischievously, as she spoke to her daughter.
"Yes mom." Kate went on to explain "The painting, Alexis called it Green Gables. I remember how warm and safe I felt while I was looking at it. I felt home, and he was right by my side."
"Green Gables, huh? You loved those books when you were a little girl; and I'm especially fond of that Alexis by the way."
"You know Alexis? But how?"
"I've been watching over you Katie; over you and your father. I know the people in your life. I'm so grateful for the family you've created, for the support they've given you." Her mother took and squeezed her hand, "and I'm proud of your bravery."
"Bravery? How is it bravery when I had no choice? It was part of the job, and I never found your killer. I never brought him to justice mom." Her voice broke a little.
"You are indeed brave. Not because of chasing criminals, or staring death in the face. You aren't brave just because you brought justice for so many Katie. You're brave because you made the decision to take a chance again. To bring down that wall and let love in, to let him in; and as for my killer, justice will be done Kate. I'm not concerned about that at all. You make me proud of the chances you were willing to take to make your life what you wanted it to be."
Kate began to sob, sinking her head into her hands. "I never told him the truth. He never knew that I heard him. I was a coward and now I'll never get to tell him that I loved him. We never got the chance to live our lives together mom. It isn't fair. I just want to see him again, so badly. I want to see his face just one more time."
At this Johanna stood and reached for her daughter's hand. "Come with me Katie. I have something to show you." Kate looked up and took it. She stood with a quizzical look on her face and allowed her mother to lead her out of the cabin.
Down they walked, back into the meadow where Kate had awoken earlier. The air was filled with the same sweet smell and the same soft breeze. The sun dipped lower in the sky though, nearing dusk. "So the sun still rises and sets here", Kate spoke. "That's because you want it to," Her mother replied. Together they walked across the wild flowers and the green grass, towards the giant willow tree and the calm lake. As they descended down the hill and grew closer to the water Kate noticed that it was the most beautiful crystal blue she'd ever seen. The sun seemed to reflect off of the serene top as she looked out, watching a variety of trees, colored in fall hues. The trees look like autumn, but the flowers like spring…interesting, she thought to herself. She noticed a bridge off to the left, although she could not see deep enough into the woods to see where the bridge led.
"Kate. Over here." Her mom motioned for her daughter to join her at the edge of the water.
When she approached her mom's side Johanna took her hand. "Close your eyes love, and think of him." Kate closed her eyes as her mother gave her instructions, "concentrate on him and let your feelings for him flow." Kate focused on his smile, his laugh, the way his warm hand descended to the small of her back, those blue eyes that seemed to search her soul. "Ok Kate. Open your eyes." When she did she was speechless, in the blue water she could see him. She could hear him.
"Is this real mom?"
"Yes it is."
"Is this how you looked after me?"
"It's close Kate."
With her mother's answer Kate dropped to her knees, she leaned out over the edge and looked into the water. She looked onto the man she loved more than life itself. As she sat by the water, she watched a scene unfold before her as if she were watching it on television.