Hiya, and welcome to Rankoneko ½, chapter 3! I've made really good progress so far, and it's all thanks to my best friend, editor, and co-author, who I'm going to keep anonymous. In fact, she's the one who came up with Garu, and she's been really helpful. Thank you!!
Pairings for Ranko (first one to 15 votes wins!):
Ryoga: 4
OC: 4
Mousse: 2
Harlock: 1 (I'm not quite sure who this is either, but somebody voted for him, so I'm putting it up)
Pairings for Ranma (first one to 15 votes wins!)
Akane: 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½, I just write stories. Got it? Good
Chapter 3: Garu's Secret
The adorable bisonen, Bomu Garu, master of Bomb-fu, was currently walking to school, his hair neatly combed, his uniform clean and unwrinkled, and his sky blue eyes glowing with innocence. It was hard to believe that this angelic looking boy was capable of leveling a couple of city blocks with his bare hands and ten tons of explosives. He was just passing the ladle lady's house when...
SPLASH
As Garu was dowsed with the cold water, his form shrunk and became a tiny pink elephant with wings and a crown on his head. His eyes were still blue, but now they were mischievous and sly looking rather than innocent and polite.
"Cocococo...Coco!!" (I'm free...Hahaha!!) The elephant cried out, letting out an evil sounding trumpet before flying into the sky and out of sight. The ladle lady stared upwards until the elephant became a mere speck, then shrugged and went back to washing her sidewalks.
"There he goes!"
"Damn, that little devil's squirmier than a bag of snakes!"
"Get him!"
"Cocococo coc coco cococ co, co co co co!" (Hahahaha you can't catch me, nyah nyah nyah nyah!)
Ranma and Ranko both stared, eyes wide, as the entire school was thrown into pandemonium. People were yelling, girls were screeching in embarrassment, and an entire mob (complete with pitchforks and burning torches, and in one student's case, a dead fish) was chasing...a flying pink elephant.
"It's official. We have entered the Twilight Zone." Ranma said. Ranko would have nodded, but just then, the tiny pink menace pulled a giant bazooka filled with water and fired on the unsuspecting student populace. Instantly, Ranma and Ranko were replaced with tiger Ranko and Ranma-chan. Before either of the stunned teens could react, who should show up but the True Blunder himself.
"Flame haired angel! Are you alright, beauteous one? Let me give you my warmth, so you may not catch cold." Kuno cried out, mistaking Ranma-chan for Ranko and pulling her against him. It was at this point that Ranma-chan realized, to her horror, that Chinese silk became both clingy and partially see through when wet, and that she was pressed up against a boy. Automatic defense mode activated. Sayonara. Have a nice day.
"KUNO NO BAKAAAAA!!!!" Ranma-chan screeched as she punted the bokken wielding idiot into the sky...only to have Coco (the elephant) throw several bombs, two sticks of TNT, and two cherry bombs at him.
Explosives, meet True Blunder. True Blunder, meet explosives. I do believe you've met before.
KABOOOOM!!!
And now, we learn the quick and easy lesson: Explosives+Kuno equals Pretty fireworks...
"Ooooooh" The entire crowd of students said at once, forgetting their fury and humiliation momentarily, putting down their weapons (even the dead fish) so that they could watch the pretty show. Kuno fell to the ground, a charred mess, and singing a strange song about a toasted human hand, but we don't really care about him, do we? No, we don't. So, let's get back to the people whose welfare we actually care about.
Suddenly, feminine screams filled the air, along with a very familiar battle cry that filled even the bravest warrior: male and female alike, with dread.
"SWEETO!!"
The elephant stilled, and it's originally playful expression became a fierce scowl. He watched as the perverted old gnome came nearer, and nearer, until...
"COC!!! COC COCO COC!! COCOCO COCO CO COCO!!!" (You!! You will pay!! Pink bubble barrage!!) Coco roared angrily as he blew a stream of large, pink bubbles from his trunk. Inside each bubble was a tiny, but dangerous explosive. Happosai leapt back, totally safe, but his bag of treasures certainly wasn't. Full of fury, Happosai turned towards Coco.
"You again?! Burning my precious silky darlings not once, but now twice! Have you no shame, you puny pachyderm pest?!?!" Happosai screamed, getting himself into a fighting stance. The elephant pulled out a bunch of bombs and prepared to fire, when, all of a sudden, a nearby girl holding a glass of hot cocoa tripped, sending the warm liquid splashing on the elephant, turning him back into Garu, fully clothed and very confused. Ranma and Ranko, who had splashed hot water on themselves shortly before Happosai's entrance, gaped in shock. Garu looked around and, catching sight of Ranko and Ranma, smiled and waved.
"Hi guys! Um...where am I? The last thing I remember is..." He suddenly trailed off as his eyes landed on the perverted little gnome. He leapt back, his Bomb-fu instincts taking over as he began throwing explosives at a rapid rate, sending Happosai flying. Happosai was almost down when Garu revealed his special attack.
"Bomb Voyage!!" He shouted as he grabbed the gnome, tied a pressure activated bomb to his chest, stuffed him into a cannon that he had pulled out of nowhere, and fired, sending Happosai flying somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, where the bomb detonated in mid air, throwing Happosai all the way to who know's where. Back at Furinkan, the students watched in amazement, as a row of students in the front row held up scorecards that read: 9.5, 9.8, 9.7, 10. Garu scratched the back of his head.
"You really think it was that great? It was really...nothing..." Garu trailed off as his eyes drooped, and he fell to the ground in a dead faint.
"Gaa-chan!" Ranko cried out as she ran over to him in order to check on him. It was then that Kuno, who had sufficiently recovered, because of his survival abilities on par with that of a cockroach, leapt at her.
"Flame haired angel, leave the boy alone and come to me. Let us..." He never got to finish, as Ranko pulled out a giant...
...badminton racket. (What, you thought I was going to say mallet? I'm not that unoriginal.)
"KUNO NO BAKA!!!" She screamed as she swung, thus beginning Kuno's second air trip a la Saotome Airlines, sending him straight into the middle of a 'We Hate Kuno' convention in Los Angeles. Needless to say, he didn't fare so well, but as I have mentioned before, we don't really care about that now, do we? I thought not. Back to our heroes.
Without wasting any time, Ranma picked up the blonde boy and grabbed the nearest person. "Where's the nearest clinic?" He demanded.
"Dr. Tofu's place. It's only a few blocks from here." The student replied.
"Where is it?" Ranko asked, her voice filled with concern. After receiving directions on how to reach Tofu's clinic, Ranma and Ranko were roofhopping to their destination, with an unconscious Garu in tow. They finally reached the clinic, a reasonably sized place with a man in his thirties inside.
"Are you Dr. Tofu?" Ranko asked. At the man's nod, Ranma handed Garu over to him, "He got into a fight, and then fainted. I'm not sure if he's hurt or not, but could you please look him over?" Ranma asked. Tofu needed no prodding, and five minutes later, Garu was lying on a cot inside, with Tofu looking him over and Ranma and Ranko standing nearby, nervousness evident in both pairs of sapphire eyes. Tofu finally finished his examination and turned to the siblings.
"I've looked over your friend, and other than a few bruises, he's just fine. He's exhausted, but that's all." Ranma breathed a sigh of relief and Ranko smiled happily. Just then, a certain young woman entered the clinic.
"Good morning Dr. Tofu." Kasumi greeted the doctor, her sweet, cheerful voice lingering in the air, seeming to fill the area with love and happiness. Tofu's glasses fogged up and he suddenly grabbed a skeleton that was propped up on one side of the room and began waltzing with it. A waltz filled the air as they danced, and the area went dark as a spotlight shone on the dancing duo...wait...music? Spotlight?...ha ha you two, very funny. Now cut it out.
Ranma sighed as he turned off the giant spotlight, while Ranko pressed stop on the boombox that was currently blaring waltz music and Kasumi turned the lights back on.
"Spoilsport" They grumbled in unison. Well, Kasumi didn't. She's too polite. We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic.
Tofu had gone from a waltz to a tango, and Ranko's face darkened as she caught sight of the eldest Tendo girl.
"Good evening Tendo-san. To what do we owe this honor?" Ranko asked, her voice like honeyed acid. Kasumi flinched, her brown eyes now full of regret.
"I-I'm here to visit Tofu-san, to return a book I borrowed from him." Kasumi replied. Ranko snorted, then walked to the door.
"Ranma," she said over her shoulder, "could you watch Gaa-chan for me? I need to go and...get some air." She was almost to the door when Kasumi reached out her hand and grabbed Ranko's shoulder.
"Wait, Ranko-san" Ranko turned to face Kasumi, and the young woman nearly shrunk back at the coldness in her eyes, but she forced herself to stay strong.
"I..I...wanted to apologize for my rudeness. I just...became so startled...I..." Kasumi looked down, her voice filled with shame, "Please forgive me..." Ranko's eyes softened, and she lightly touched Kasumi's shoulder.
"I forgive you," she said softly, "but you'll need to apologize to my brother as well." Kasumi smiled slightly at the girl before turning and bowing to Ranma.
"Gomen Nasai Ranma-san, for being so rude to you." She said. Ranma flashed her a large grin.
"No problem Kasumi-san, I would have been freaked out too if it had been me." He replied. Kasumi broke out into a relieved smile.
"Thank you." She told the siblings before leaving the clinic, humming a happy tune. As soon as she set foot out of the clinic, Tofu's glasses immediately cleared and he stopped mid-folkdance.
"What in the world was I just doing? Why am I holding onto Betty?" His voice was full of confusion, and something told the siblings that telling him that Kasumi had been here would be a bad idea. Suddenly, a soft groan from the cot got everyone's attention.
"Um...Ranko-san, Ranma-san...where am I? Why am I lying on a cot?" Garu asked quietly, eyes filled with puzzlement. Ranko sat next to him and smiled.
"You beat up that old guy, then you fainted. Me and Ranma onii-san took you to Tofu-san's clinic. That's where we are now." Ranko explained. Garu smiled.
"I see. Thank you Ranko-san, and I'm sorry if I worried you. I just used a bit too much energy against," It was then that Garu's face twisted into a scowl, "Happosai."
"Happosai? Who's he? Was he that old guy from earlier?" Ranma asked. Garu nodded.
"Yes. You see, it all began when I took a trip across Asia..."
FLASHBACK
Garu walked to the mouth of the cave, examining the seal placed on it.
"If there's a seal here, does that mean a demon is trapped inside?" He wondered aloud. He was still pondering when suddenly, a large bear leapt up out of nowhere, startling the young boy and activating his Bomb-fu instincts. Bombs were thrown everywhere, startling the bear and accidentally burning the seal off.
END FLASHBACK
"...and inside the cave was that old man, Happosai. Even though he is human, he's evil enough to be a demon, and immediately began terrorizing nearby villages before heading towards China. Because it was my fault he was freed, I made it my duty to re-seal him, and I eventually reached a place called Jusenkyo while I was following him..."
FLASHBACK
"Oh yes. Old customer pass by here couple hours ago. He go towards Joketsuzoku. You find him there, yes?" The Jusenkyo Guide told Garu, who bowed in gratitude.
"Thank you for your help sir. I am thankful for your assistance." Garu said politely before turning to go. Suddenly, he was aware of several angry, female voices, as well as one he had grown to know all too well.
"WHAT A HAUL! WHAT A HAUL!" Happosai cried as he landed on top of Garu's head, then leaping off of it and sending the blonde boy straight into the nearest spring. The guide ran over to the edge of the spring.
"Oh no! Honored customer fall in Spring of drowned pink chibi prankster flying elephant prince! Pink Chibi Flying Elephant Prince who also a prankster drown in spring 1700 years ago. Now whoever fall in spring...take body and personality of Elephant Prince!!" The guide exclaimed, as Coco emerged from the spring, looking skyward and letting loose a cry that shook the heavens.
"COCOOOOOOOO COCOCO?!?!?!?!?!" (What the spoon?!?!?!?!?!)
END FLASHBACK
"...and that ends my little story. My cursed form is dangerous by itself, but added to my natural Bomb-fu instincts and abilities, and he becomes extremely hazardous. Luckily, Coco is nothing more than a mischievous prankster, and prefers to use his abilities to play pranks. But, whenever I or Coco sees Happosai, we get so mad that we well...go berserk. I really should have better control, but..." Garu trailed off, looking down at his lap. Ranko took pity on him and gave him a friendly squeeze.
"Don't worry, it's only natural you should feel angry. And you're not the only one with a Jusenkyo curse. Here, watch." With that, both Ranma and Ranko poured a cup of cold water on their heads, triggering the curse. Garu's eyes widened almost comically, as did Tofu's.
"R-r-Ranko-san?" He stuttered out. Ranko nodded...well, as much as a tiger can nod, anyway. Tofu soon had two kettles of hot water, which he poured over the two teens, bringing them back to their original forms. Ranko quickly grabbed her uniform and hurriedly put it on, while Ranma tried to wring the water out of his pigtail. Garu's eyes went back to normal, and he smiled slightly.
"So, all three of us have curses," he mused, "what a wacky coincidence, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Ranma agreed, "but, for me and Ranko, our lives have been one nearly impossible circumstance after another. We're like life's little wild cards, we attract chaos like a magnet."
"Ranma onii-san's right," Ranko said, "this sort of thing is nothing new to us." Garu smiled.
"Thank you...for understanding." He whispered. Ranko grinned back at him and squeezed his shoulder.
"No prob. What are friends for, after all?" She asked. Garu's smile grew wider, but then, a young girl with lavender hair entered the clinic and saw him, and his smile died a horrible death as a female's cry filled the air.
"AIREN!!"
Ranma, Ranko, and Tofu stared in bemusement as an attractive, lavender haired girl glomped onto Garu, who's face was a deep scarlet color. Ranma cleared his throat.
"Um, Garu...is there anything you forgot to tell us, by any chance?"
TBC
Well, that ends chapter 3, and now you know what the deal is with the pink elephant. I hope you enjoyed the story.
Next Chapter:
Nihao! Shampoo finally arrives!
Enter Akane!
Genma gets his just reward, Bomb-fu style!
Ryoga's feelings revealed!
All this, and more, in the next chapter of Rankoneko 1/2! (If I can fit it all in)