Chapter 4: Singing Contest Session 1

Author's Note: Ok, every chapter will be showing 1 or 2 people singing, and you will be the judge of the winners! :D

Happy Holidays!

Ichigo moaned, "Seriously? What is this? Why me?"

Rukia rolled her eyes, "For the last time, all the shinigami of the Gotei 12 want to sing, and you are the perfect judge, as shinigami representative."

Ichigo face palmed and sat down on a wooden chair by the judge table.

He looked behind himself and saw the Gotei 12 sitting on chairs behind him. He noticed that none of the high ranking shinigami here there. He flinched. Don't tell me they are all singing? He raised an eyebrow, "May I ask something?"

"What?"

"Since when did the captains' meeting room have a large stage?"

"Since they decided to build one, duh."

Ichigo grumbled as Rukia sat down next to him. He scanned his eyes across the table to see what other unfortunate people were judges.

Rukia…Orihime…Uryu…Chad….Kisuke…Kon…

Ichigo flinched, "Kon?"

Kon jumped onto the table and laughed, "That's right Ichigo!"

Ichigo moaned some more and buried his head in his arms.

"Kurosaki, it's starting!" Uryu snapped and nudged him in the side.

Ichigo sighed and looked up.

"…" He frowned, "Where is everyone?"

Orihime whispered, "Kurosaki-kun, you have to announce the name!"

Ichigo frowned, "Oh. Um first up…" He narrowed his eyes…

Suddenly his jaw dropped open.

"Ichigo!" Rukia hissed.

"Oh god…is this legal?"

"Just read it!"
"Ok, first contestant…" Ichigo gulped, "Kenpachi Zar…AH!"

Suddenly, the side of the stage blew up, and yellow reiatsu flew everywhere as the Captain of Squad 11 jumped onstage.

Kenpachi smirked and looked around. "Come on Ichigo! Remember the deal! I win and we fight!"

"What?" Ichigo jumped to his feet, "I never…." HE stopped and creaked his head toward Kisuke, "…..you!"

Kisuke grinned slyly and began dusting off his hat that had been blown to the ground.

Rukia sweat dropped, "Well Ichigo, some captains need convincing?"

Ichigo twitched.

"HEY!" Kenpachi shouted, "I'm gonna start!"

"Ok…what will you be singing?" Chad asked in his low and quiet voice.

"I dunno. Some song Ikkaku found for me…Jingle Bells. Dashing through the whatnot…?" He said flatly pointing to the bells on his hair.

The room went silent.

Uryu pushed up his glasses, "Ah, a typical holiday song, um please begin."

Kenpachi sneered and his loud voice rumbled throughout the Seireitei…

"DASHING THROUGH INFERNO!

WITH A BLOODY AND GOREY BLADE!
CUTTING DOWN EVERYTHING!

THAT LIES IN MY WAY!

CAN YOU FEEL THE PAIN?

THIS HUNGER FOR MY BLOOD?

O WHAT FUN IT IS TO KILL AND MAUL

A BEING EVERY DAY?

OHHHHHHH

JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
O WHAT FUN IT IS TO KILL

AND STAB AND GUT

YOU EVERYDAY!

JINGLE BELLS THIS IS HELL
WE WILL DIE ALL WELL!
EACH OF US LEAVING THIS WORLD
WITH A BODY…WITHOUT…A…HEAD!"

Kenpachi smiled evilly as his song came to a close.

Ichigo dropped his pencil.

Rukia had her mouth open.

Ishida's glasses were cracked.

Orihime almost passed out.

Kisuke was holding back snickers.

Chad had widened eyes.

Kon was silent.

"Well?" Kenpachi asked with a gruff voice.

"Uh…" A unison of mumbles emerged from the judge table.

After a moment of silence, the 11th squad seated behind the judges jumped up and cheered for their wonderful captain, throwing out praises and brags.

Kon finally jumped onto the table and shouted, "YOU CALL THAT SINGIN? THAT WAS THE WOSRT THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! …..wait…what are you….AHHHH HELPPPPP!"

"Uh… excellent job taichou!" Rukia forcibly laughed, ignoring the screams of pain coming from Kon as the 11th squad chased after him in circles, obviously not happy that he insulted their captain.

Ichigo flinched, "Um…nice?"

Kisuke smiled and said, "My My Kenpachi, it suits you very well…very…creative?"

Uryu coughed and Orihime said, "Wow, that was…loud and…expressive!"

Kenpachi seemed happy with that, and didn't bother waiting for the remaining judges for make their comments as he exited the stage.

Ichigo rubbed his temples, "Great…who's next?"

Chad stood up, "I'll get you guys some tea…I guess…"

Kisuke stood up as well, "I'll get someone to clean up the broken stage…
Uryu stood up too, "I'll get my sewing kit…"

Everyone looked at him oddly. He twitched, "I am going to fix KON!"

"Oh."

Rukia picked up the sheet of paper and read out loud, "Um…next is…Hinamori fukutaichou…"

Ichigo sighed as Chad came back with tea, "At least it won't be awkward…"

Uryu and Urahara returned to their seats as Momo stepped on stage. The crowd went silent.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow, by the curtains of the stage he saw spiky white hair peeping out.

Rukia saw it as well and explained, "Hitsugaya taichou volunteered to take fukutaichou's place, since she's not feeling so well, but Hinamori fukutaichou insisted."

Ichigo leaned back in his chair and the other judges sipped at their tea.

Orihime smiled and asked, "Hinamori-san! What will you be singing?"

Momo whispered, "Um…deck the halls…."

The crowd mumbled with approval and all sat up, waiting for the melodious voice of the lieutenant.

"Ahem…" Hinamori had red eyes for some reason, as she began to sing…

"Deck the halls with…."

Ichigo sipped at his tea.

"Rectangular glasses…"

SPIRTTTTT…every judge did a spit take simultaneously.

In the back of the stage, Toshiro face palmed.

"Fa lalalalalalalala…" She continued her song.

"Why did he have to leave our sides?

Falalalalalalalala….

Now that I feel empty inside~

Falalalalalalalala…

I really wish that he would come back

Falalalalalalalala…

See, that Ichimaru did this to us…

Falalalalalalalala…

Let us give him another chance…

Falalalalalalalala….

I…will never use hair gel again…

Falalalalalalalala….

What~were his glasses made out of?

Falalalalalalalala…"

The music continued but she stopped singing.

She looked up from her mic and at the judges…

Surprisingly, everyone forced a smile.

Ichigo: Uh…nice job…

Rukia: Good job fukutaichou!

Orihime: I liked it….ish

Kisuke: I would give that a good score!

Chad: ….

Uryu: ….impressive…?

Kon: HAHA! WAIT! WAS THAT SONG ABOUT….

Rukia leaped onto the table and slammed Kon's head into the chair.

"Haha…" She laughed nervously… "Um thanks a lot Hinamori fukutaichou!"

Ichigo scratched his head, "Yeah…um…ok…thanks I guess….next!"

Hinamori stumbled off the stage, mumbling to herself.

Author's Note: LOL Sorry if we made Hinamori seem….pathetic…but don't take it wrong we like her too :D

Anyways, please review and stuff!

And we are taking requests for songs or next contestants~ XDDD