Chapter 4

The Tardis was emitting a low hum. It was much lower than the sound the doctor was aware of in his own Police box, and it made him feel as if his Seventh incarnation's Tardis was holding back from him, quietly observing as the conversation began to unfold.

"You know I can't take that chance," he said, "If I told you when you die, when your life number seven ends, what are you going to do about it, try and change the outcome?"

The Seventh Doctor looked him in the eye and answered without hesitation.

"You ought to know my answer," he said darkly, "You used to be me a few lifetimes back – so your argument against is invalid."

The Twelfth Doctor's eyes fired up with anger as he glared down at the shorter man in the question mark jumper who stood before him.

"I remember I could be a shady, devious bastard when I wanted to be. I was manipulative, secretive - I remember that much. Don't think you can talk me around into doing what you want, because it won't happen!"

He had spoken sharply, his intense eyes were shaded with a darkness of his own now, but the Seventh Doctor's own gaze was unwavering.

"You won't give in and I won't give up."

"You can ask until the sun that lights this planet burns out, I'll still refuse to tell you."

The Seventh Doctor's eyes narrowed as his voice lowered.

"You're only here to ease your own conscience, you don't care about your past, you just want to get shot of mine!"

The Doctor leaned closer. He drew in a slow breath as he held his anger back and spoke again.

"But it's not my conscience, it's yours. You are the one who made the mistakes and lived with regret. I'm the one stuck with carrying old baggage!"

"That baggage will get much lighter if you tell me everything."

The Twelfth Doctor was still looking at him angrily.

"I used to be you. It doesn't matter how long ago; I still know this old part of me that I see in you. I know I would have used that information to save my own life. If you do that, the whole timeline could fall apart. So much could change it could be catastrophic!"

The Seventh Doctor had the ghost of a smile on his face that worried him.

"What's so funny?"

"That you're talking to me as if we're on opposite sides. I'm you a few regenerations a go, we are the same person." Then his smile faded and he added, "You owe me a bit more trust, Doctor."

The Twelfth Doctor stepped back, looking thoughtfully at his other self.

"Maybe," he replied, "But I can't be sure I can trust you. I know you change her future because I saw it, the Tardis showed me – she doesn't die because you save her but I think you lose your own life in the process."

"I'm not surprised, I'd do anything for Ace. I'd certainly give my life for her if I had to."

He had said that without hesitation, and as he looked at him he knew he was telling the truth – the Seventh Doctor's love for Ace was deep, so deep it had no end, he still felt it there in his own hearts, a love that had become forever imprinted on his soul, to last through every regeneration, still there, as if she had signed her name inside both hearts and hidden the signature away.

"For one who hides his feelings so well, they certainly run deep."

The Seventh Doctor smiled.

"Still waters always do."

And as he turned over all he knew about his Seventh incarnation's outcome, the Doctor gave a heavy sigh. He had weighed it up and he knew he had to at least partly trust this other version of himself, because there was no other way. The Tardis had brought him back here, planned this meeting… knowing that was enough to persuade him to take a risk. That and the fact that Doctor number Seven could be very persuasive and determined…

"One day you take a journey in the Tardis, it's a necessary journey. You go alone. That's when you die. Something goes wrong and you die, you regenerate and after that you forget much about this life, you forget for a long time. You forget her."

The Seventh Doctor thought for a moment, and then he nodded.

"Okay, I get that part. I have no choice when the time comes. Now tell me about Ace, she's more important."

And as he heard him say those words, he breathed a relieved sigh – yes,he could definitely trust Seven, because he wasn't as concerned with his own death as he had expected him to be, knowing Ace was in danger had wiped out all fears for his own safety.

"I think you can change this," he told him, "Ace dies in an accident in the year 2000. I can give you the place and date and time. But I'm hoping you will be there to save her anyway, because you are going to stay with her this time, am I right?"

The Seventh Doctor looked back at him, and he caught a flicker of apprehension in his eyes.

"I'm thinking about taking her in my arms and I can't remember the last time I felt sonervous…I haven't felt like this for centuries!"

The Doctor smiled.

"You should drop that dark, manipulative veneer more often. I'm actually starting to warm to you."

The Seventh Doctor briefly smiled back at him.

"Just tell me what I need to know."

And the Doctor began to explain, he told him every detail of that day as history had first played it out, and the Seventh Doctor listened, and as he explained, he felt relieved to find he still asked nothing about the circumstances of his own demise.

A short while later, the Doctor left the past and his Seventh life behind, leaving the brightly lit Tardis and making his way back through the woodland. When he reached his own police box he went inside and closed the door, breathing a heavy sigh, and as the vast interior of the Tardis greeted him with its glowing walls and wide console and familiar hum, he looked around the room and smiled.

"It wasn't easy, but thank you," he said, "I know why you did that. Things are about to change..."

And then he set the co ordinates to return to the future, where Clara was about to leave work and he would soon be meeting her. He pictured her face in his mind and despite the weight that lingered in his hearts, he felt certain some time in her company would be all he needed to lift out the pain of old memories of another lifetime that were about to be rewritten for the better.

The Tardis wheezed and groaned, and then finally left Ace and old memories far behind.

The Seventh Doctor had stood alone in his Tardis for some time thinking over all he had learned.

Then he turned his thoughts back to Ace, who knew his secret and was waiting for him, and he left the Tardis and made his way back through the woodland, trying to ignore how nervous he felt as he approached the street that led to her front door.

When he had finally stopped walking and thinking and trying to ignore his nervousness, he pushed open her gate, went up the path and rang the doorbell.

Then he had no more time to feel nervous, because she answered right away. Her tears were gone and so had the sadness that had shaded her eyes. She smiled warmly at him.

"I'd better come in," he said, "I've got some explaining to do…"

And Ace said nothing, she just stepped back, opened the door wider, and he went inside.

She closed the front door and he stood there holding his umbrella in both hands as he fiddled with the question mark handle and his dark eyes darted nervously from her to the floor and then back to her again.

"You're right," he said softly, "I do…love you, I mean. If that's okay with you, if you don't mind…"

And he smiled hopefully.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think you felt the same way."

She started to smile again.

"You got so angry," she said softly, "So very angry and right after that I knew why."

Her eyes were sparkling and her face was glowing with happiness. He stepped closer and looked into her eyes. Suddenly the thought of taking her in his arms did not fill him with uncertainty; she felt the same way, she loved him, he could see it in her eyes and he wondered why he had never spotted it so clearly before.

"I want to take you in my arms and fall on to the carpet and – no, I can't just…"

He looked down at the umbrella again.

She reached out, took it from him and hung it up on a hook on the wall beside her bomber jacket.

"Oh, your jacket!" he exclaimed, "I wasn't expecting to see that while you've got the summer weather! I do think that jacket suits you."

She laughed softly and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Stop it," she said softly.

"Stop what?" he asked her.

"Hesitating," she replied, "Come on, take my hand."

And she held out her hand to him. He looked down at her slender fingers outstretched as a ray of afternoon sunshine cut through from an open window. He gave her a small, nervous smile and took her hand.

He knew he was trembling and hoped she didn't think any less of him for it; after fighting Daleks and Cybermen and all the other horrors the dark side of the universe could throw at him, he didn't want her to think getting intimate with her could scare him so much. The truth was, loving her this deeply scared him more than any enemy he had ever faced in the whole of the universe. She had both his hearts now, and he did not want her to break them. She did not know the extent of the power he had just handed her.

She stood there for a moment just holding his hand, saying no more. Then she turned away, still holding on to him, and led him towards her bedroom. He let her lead him, still nervous, still feeling like he wanted to love her and hold her and cry, but he wasn't sure in which order to do it.

Ace closed the bedroom door quietly and let go of his hand.

He stood there feeling awkward. He didn't need to feel awkward because he was a Time lord with centuries of life and experience and that experience included romantic encounters – but this was different, he was with her, he was with the one person in the universe who could turn his knees to jelly and make his hearts both race or miss a beat with a single glance...

"Come and lay down, just lay beside me," she said gently.

He took off his hat and jacket and placed them on the chair beside her dressing table. Then he turned his back and took off his jumper and kicked off his shoes. As he did that he heard her undressing, he heard the slide of material against her skin as she stripped off her clothing and it was almost too much to think about.

"I won't be a minute," he said, and his voice trembled as he spoke and his hands shook as he took off his tie and opened up the buttons on his shirt.

"Professor…"

He had just taken off his shirt and folded it carefully, taking his time, and then he draped it over the back of the chair. He turned sharply and the look in his eyes reminded Ace of a deer caught in headlights and she smiled fondly.

"Don't worry about taking everything off. Just come here, get in bed and let me hold you."

He smiled.

"Sounds good to me," he said, and then he got into bed beside her and turned on his side and met her gaze.

"Hello," she said fondly, and she ran her hand over his hair as she looked at him with love shining in her eyes.

"Just a minute…"

He was struggling. She heard him unbuckle his belt and then as he shifted about he laughed nervously.

"I can't get undressed…I'm falling out of the bed!"

Ace laughed.

"Let me help."

"No I can –"

He shut up as she turned him on his back. As her hands brushed against his hips and tugged at his clothing he felt thrills shooting through his body at her slightest touch, and he lay there, resigned to the fact that it would be better to let Ace take the lead, because he was a nervous wreck. She got his trousers off and then tossed them to the floor.

"Job done."

Her eyes were sparkling with amusement.

As she had shifted over to drop his clothing on the floor, she had sat astride him. She was till there, and the sheets had fallen to her waist and he knew she was naked and just as beautiful as he had imagined, but as his hearts pounded, tears choked up his voice and it was a struggle to speak.

"Ace."

She looked down at him.

"What's the matter?"

He reached up, placing his hands on her shoulders as he blinked away tears but felt certain more were coming and he would not be able to hold them back.

"I do love you. I can't tell you how much, bigger than the universe, brighter than the brightest star I've ever seen…I just love you, and I know I'll never stop."

He drew in a sharp breath and tears ran down his face.

Ace slid down beside him. She was kissing his cheek as she wiped his tears away and he was still crying and wishing he had managed to hold it back.

He briefly thought of his future incarnation who he had just parted company with, and he felt sure that guy didn't sob like a girl when he was next to the woman he loved, he was willing to bet he took her in his arms, left her breathless and then got up and killed some Daleks, or stopped an interstellar war, or maybe he just had a cup of tea. But he definitely didn't do this…he hoped Ace didn't think any less of him for letting his emotions take over so strongly.

"Sorry," he said tearfully, "But I've loved you so long, I've wished for you, dreamed of you…I just never thought we could..."

"Shh," Ace shifted closer, putting her arm around him as the touch of her skin to his own warmed away his fears, "It's okay," she said gently, "I love you too, I'll love you forever."

These words had not been empty; they had been a promise that had come from her heart.

"I love you so much, Professor," she whispered and then she pulled him closer and their lips met, and as he returned her kisses, he suddenly found he wasn't shaking any more, because she had him in her arms and he felt safe there, he felt warm and he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Suddenly loving Ace was not such a frightening thought because he knew she felt the same, and as he held her, he found he was quite sure he belonged in her arms.

The sun was setting by the time Ace lay breathless and still clinging to him as he rolled over, pinning her to the bed and the crumpled sheets beneath her as he looked into her eyes.

All his hesitation had been kissed away and fire burned in his eyes as he spoke to her in soft, silky tones that only a lover could use.

"You're mine," he said to her, "Mine forever and that's a very long time, Ace… You and me, we will never be part again, I'll be with you always, I'll never leave you, I swear I won't leave."

He ran his fingers through her damp hair and kissed her, then took in every detail of her face as the flush faded from her and she started to get her breath back.

"I bet you never knew I could make you feel that good," he said with a smile.

"I thought you would," she told him, "And I wasn't wrong."

He gave her a hug, squeezing her tightly. As he spoke his words were muffled as he pressed his face against her shoulder.

Then he let go and looked hopefully into her eyes.

"Well?" he asked, "Don't you want to answer me?"

"What?"

His smile vanished.

"I thought you loved me."

She blinked, looking into his eyes with a confused expression.

"I do love you! I couldn't hear you, your face was pressed against me."

"Oh…good, I mean good you just didn't hear me…"

"I do love you," she said again gently, saying those words he needed to hear again so badly.

His eyes sparkled as he held her in his arms.

"That's good, because I just asked you to marry me."

Her jaw dropped. He was lying next to her with his arms around her and excitement shining in his eyes.

"I know we messed up before, in the other timeline. It won't happen this time. I'll stay with you…how could I have left you? I would never leave you, Ace! I'll marry you. The universe is pretty quiet, there's no threat to the planet going on…there's no reason why I can't stay here with you and just be with you and be happy. It's easy, that's all we have to do!"

She was still staring at him.

"You really want to marry me?"

"Of course I do, don't you want to marry me?"

She looked into his eyes. It hit her all over again that all her hopes and dreams that had once seemed so far off and unobtainable had just come true all at once.

She smiled and nodded as she blinked away tears of joy.

"Of course I will!" she told him.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, grabbing her and kissing her face, her neck, her shoulders and over her face again.

Ace lay back laughing as he continued to give her little kisses, hardly able to contain his excitement and joy as he told her over and over that he was so happy, so very happy, and this was perfect…

At least, it seemed perfect.

There was a nagging doubt at the back of his mind, something was reminding him that some things could not be changed, that certain events would play out the same even if others played out differently…

But he wasn't going to listen to that, not when he felt as if all the love in the universe was wrapped warm somewhere between the heat their skin generated as he held her close and their bodies fused in a moment of passion that made him weep all over again.

He knew he was messing with the timeline, and suddenly he didn't care, because centuries of battles and personal losses had added up to a heap of sorrow.

Now he was going to leave all that behind.

It was his turn to be happy now, and he was taking that chance with both hands, even though he felt as if he held that happiness cautiously, for it was so precious one slip could mean its loss, one mistake would shatter everything.

That doubt was still nagging at him as he silently vowed to hold on to the promise he had made, even though it seemed as if time itself was telling him it would not work out that way.

He ignored the doubts, making love with Ace until he was exhausted from passion and tears and then he clung to her, closing his eyes as night fell, shutting out everything but her closeness and the sound of her breathing, holding on to the woman who had become the focus of the whole of his universe, determined life would stay that way, and to hell with time for trying to tell him otherwise…

It felt good to be back, that was the first thought that hit him as the Twelfth Doctor stepped out of his Tardis and took in a breath of fresh air that reminded him the past was far behind, at least, the past belonging to his former life was far behind him now…

As Clara walked out of the gates of Coal Hill School, she smiled on seeing him standing there waiting for her.

"I get the feeling a situation may have been resolved," she said to him, "That look in your eyes is gone."

"Which look?"

"The sad one," she replied.

He looked far off to a place where land met sky in the distance and wished he could reach out and touch the past. But the past wasn't ready to touch him yet, and he was certain that when it did, it would hit with force, a bit like the way that out of control truck had smashed into the Seventh Doctor in the altered outcome…

They were walking along the street, him and Clara, he was lost in his thoughts and as she spoke up he barely heard her.

"Doctor?"

He stopped walking and glanced at her.

"What?"

"Something's wrong?"

That girl spotted everything, nothing got past her.

A bit like Ace.

He had no idea why she was still on his mind, but he ignored that thought and concentrated on Clara instead.

"I don't know. Something is certainly different, but I can't say if it's in a good or a bad way. I never gave much thought to my Seventh life before, but now…"

He turned back to the distant hillside, to the place where land met sky as he searched for answers somewhere out there carried on the breeze.

"I saw it when I was in his Tardis. It flashed up at me, this other time and place…He gets her out of the car. Ace lives."

Clara's face lit up as she smiled.

"Then you did it, you changed it."

He looked back at her and his eyes burned with deep intensity. He had felt something else, shifting along the timeline, and it was not good…

"Yes I did change it," he said darkly, "Maybe I'm the same fool I was back then, that part of me is still pulling me in the wrong direction-"

"But she lives."

He grabbed Clara by her shoulders and his hands stayed there, his fingers pressing through the fabric of her jacket.

Her eyes widened.

"What is it?"

"He gets her out of the car. But their son is in the back. I know he gets him out too but the truck hits him. He doesn't regenerate, I'm not sure why, maybe his injuries are not life threatening - but it looked bad enough from what I could see. And I can still feel something, some kind of regret, but I don't know what it's about…"

He took in a sharp breath and blinked away tears as a sudden pain flickered through his hearts. He let go of Clara's shoulders and blinked away tears that angered him, because this grief had no place here, not in this lifetime…

"What is it?" she asked, looking at him intently, "Why is this getting to you now?"

He shook his head.

"I don't know, and I don't like it, either. This is my fault, for making contact with both of them."

"But she found you. Perhaps you're meant to be involved."

"But why?"

He began to walk along the street again, and Clara hurried to catch up with him.

"If it's bothering you that much, maybe you should just walk away. I mean, it was several lifetimes ago, why not just let it go?"

"Because I still think he walks away from her, like that's fixed and can't be changed. I don't understand it, he's there at the scene of the accident, but why is he there if he walked away and left her and his son? Why would he have left both of them?"

He turned sharply to Clara.

"Why?" he said again.

She shook her head.

"I don't know. And like I just said, maybe you should be the one to walk away, it's all in your past any way."

The speed at which anger sparked up in his eyes and blazed brightly was unexpected.

"It might be his lifetime but it's mine too!" he snapped, "And I would never have abandoned my own son!"

Clara frowned, wishing the Doctor had never got involved with such a painful chapter of his own past.

"You wouldn't," she said, "That's you in this life. You don't know everything about him, you can't remember and now you've made changes to the timeline you just don't know how it's going to turn out. He must have had a good reason. Only he knows why he did it."

Her words had little impact.

"I can't let go of this," he replied, and he reached into the pocket of his jacket, stopped walking again even though the Tardis was in clear sight now, and drew out a mobile phone. He ran through numbers, searching until he found the one he needed.

"It looks the same," he said, "I don't think they ever changed the number…" and then he put the phone away.

"What number?" Again she was quickening her pace to catch up with him as he strode towards the Tardis.

"UNIT," he said as he reached the door of the police box, "I had to be sure the number was the same back then. Someone calls UNIT when the Doctor gets injured in the crash. That someone is me."

And then he went into the Tardis and Clara followed.

He was already at the console and running a hand over the controls as he paused, deep in thought.

"What are you up to?" she asked carefully, "I hope you're not going to do what I think you are…"

He paused and then slowly met her gaze.

"Yes I am still involved," he said, "I can feel it, I'm just bracing myself for the moment of impact, when it all rushes back down the years and hits me all over again. A bit like the way that truck hit him when he saved his son. He's got guts, that man. I'm not even sure why I'm saying that, Clara! It's nothing to do with what happens at the scene of the accident, it's something else. That's what makes no sense…why would I say that when I know he walks away?"

She had that look about her, the one that reminded him she was special, someone he had known in many times and places before, she was touched with insight like no other…

"Perhaps because there's more," she said in a hushed voice, "And you've yet to remember it."

He stared at her for a moment, silently making calculations in his head.

And then he turned back to the console as he considered his destination.

"We know where," he muttered as he worked, "But when, that's what I have to work out, that's the key to everything…"