POV: Peridot

"Excuse me sir,

Am I your daughter?

Won't you take me back,

Take me back and see?"

Under the Water - The Pretty Reckless

Damn Terran jerks! Stay on your own worthless dirt clod planet!

I watch as my Nexus explodes into millions of crystalline shards, a Game Over pop-up overlaying the remains of an utter massacre. Oily black clouds spew from my demolished Pylons, my Warp Gate lies in ruin, and the few remnants of my Void Ray fleet are stranded half-way across the map. It wasn't even a close game; I lost miserably.

I utter a curse, down the last of my Mtn. Dew, and slam the empty can back down onto my desk. With a few angry clicks, I shut Starcraft down and fume silently in the darkness of my room, awash in the solitary light glowing from the desktop monitor. I try to replay the match in my head to review my mistakes, but other thoughts intervene and make it impossible. Normally, if anything, I would be distracted by a programming project that has me stumped, but even that doesn't typically encroach on my gaming. This time is different. This time, it's a person that fills my head and ruins my concentration every time she crosses my mind.

It's unusual and unexpected and totally aggravating.

Swiveling my chair away from the desk, I remove my glasses and rub at my eyes wearily. This quickly becomes a mistake as a familiar image appears behind my eyelids - that girl, Lapis, stares back at me like a wounded fawn in front of the bathroom mirror, her mousy brown hair ruffled, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen. A spike of some unrecognizable emotion pierces my chest. I groan, shove my glasses back onto my face, and dissolve the scene in neon LCD illumination. The digital clock in the lower corner of the screen reads 10:14.

My stomach makes a hollow grumbling noise, so I finally give in to its demands.

As I clump up the stairs to the ground floor, I notice the quiet pervading the house. Mom would usually have the television blaring, but the lack of insipid game show or reality TV noise tells me that it's one of those nights. I pad barefoot into the kitchen and pull the fridge open, where I find a covered dish on the middle rack and not much else. I take it out and pull back the plastic wrap as I carry it to the dining table, but my heart falls upon seeing the contents. Inside is tuna salad doused in mayonnaise. My stomach churns in distaste; I hate mayonnaise with a passion, and mom should know that.

As I stare unseeing at the dinner left for me, another image forms unbidden in my mind: purple-bruised cheek and temple, wilted posture that screams I've given up. That funny feeling returns at full force, nearly buckling my knees.

Shaking my head to clear it, I take one more disgusted look at the dish in my hands and dump it into the trashcan on my way to the cupboard. Inside is more disappointment; a sack of flour, a few cans of tomato paste, a jar of peanut butter, a case of white rice, and a large box of saltines. But on the very top shelf is a brand-new, bright blue bag of cool ranch Doritos. Score.

After swiping another Mtn. Dew, I head back down to the basement with my bounty, already sipping from the can before I've nudged the door closed with my toe. My machine starts up when I jiggle the mouse like a pet that spends its free time waiting to be offered attention. As the desktop comes into view, displaying all the games in which I could lose myself until early morning, I find that, curiously, none interest me. The chip I place in my mouth, too, seems devoid of all those flavors and spices coating I expect to find. I crunch it irritably between my teeth and set the bag aside, hunger forgotten.

I just can't stop thinking about her.

This funk can't possibly last forever.

And rather than waiting for it to go away on its own, I try to force it down with a familiar routine. Clapping my headphones over my head, I double-click an icon shaped like a 'D' on my desktop and try to lose myself in Diablo III for the next few hours. Around 2 AM, I vaguely register the sound of the front door closing, a pair of voices, two pairs of footsteps tramping down the hallway above. Sighing, I type an ambiguous message to my party members about getting off for a while and sign out. These Greater Rift runs aren't going so well, anyway. But when I find myself once again alone in the dark, I lean back in my desk chair and stare up at the ceiling, wonder what in the hell is wrong with me.

The bulge of my phone burns a hole in my pocket. Inside it is a string of ten digits - ten ordinary, unassuming numbers that have no business making my heart race the way it does, like I've been doing jumping jacks.

Lapis's typed words flicker through my memory: do you ever get lonely?

Of course I don't. I've mostly taken care of myself since I was eight, since dad left and mom stopped paying me much attention. I don't need friends or parents who care. I don't. They're just not worth it.

So why did I accept Lapis's offer?

I look down at my phone, which appeared in my hands at some point without bothering to tell my brain. I swipe my thumb across the screen to unlock it and give my contacts list a death glare for tempting me like this. What would I even say to her? Hi? How are you? Are you okay? Do you want to talk? I like y-

[/thoughts]

Shutdown.

Reboot.

I drop my phone abruptly, pace over to my bed, and face-plant into a pillow. Forget about school tomorrow; my brain is obviously broken and I'm going to pass out until it's fixed.

Or so I thought.

At some indeterminate point in the future, a text alert rattles my phone, which translates into an obnoxiously loud buzz on the wood flooring. I groan and have to practically drag myself across the room to retrieve it. Despite the dull illumination my computer monitor is still giving off, when I unlock my phone's screen and it flares up with sudden brightness, I have to resist the overwhelming urge to screech like a burning vampire. Through gathering tears and the bleary haze of sleep that still shrouds my mind, I read that it's 6:43 AM. For fuck's sake, who could be messaging me this early? That burning question, and that alone, prevents me from tossing the damned device across the room and pulling the sheets back up over my head.

I tap the text message to open it.

From: Lapis Lazuli

Sent: 6:39 AM

"Hey, want to walk home

together after school?"

Both my temper and lethargy immediately dissipate when I read the sender name. Replacing both feelings is a rising tide of - what? Is this anxiety? Joy? It may be both, and yet it feels like something more. I don't know what to call this sensation that my chest is tightening and filling with water. A heart attack? Asphyxiation? It's totally alien to me.

Hey, maybe an alien is going to burst out of my chest.

A delirious laugh bubbles out of me and I realize that I'm nearly hyperventilating, so I close my eyes until I can breathe normally again. There. Now calmly think about your response - not how you feel about the suggestion or about her, just start with a confirmation that you saw the text. I settle on a default 'disgruntled but open to conversation' response of "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Her reply arrives moments later.

From: Lapis Lazuli

Sent: 6:52 AM

"Yeah. Sorry. I wake up early.

So, does this mean you don't

want to...?"

I stare at this message for a long time. So long, in fact, that she sends another and I end up staring at that one.

From: Lapis Lazuli

Sent: 7:20 AM

"You don't have to, it's cool.

We can just keep chatting

in comp sci if you want...

I'll wait at the north exit

in case you do. Sorry again

for the early message."

Once I've read over the words enough times to have them memorized, I groan inwardly and lie back down. I wasn't even going to show up at school today. I don't want to think about any of this - I don't want to feel any of this. But damn it, those messages are almost as pitiful as doe-eyed Lapis crying in front of the mirror. As much as I hate it, I know there's no way I can skip, now. Even when she thinks she's being rejected, she's so damn nice about it. So annoying.

And yet, I find myself willing giving in to the feeling.

Shit, I guess I'm gonna have to get ready for school.

I ended up cutting it close; even skipping a shower (not breakfast, I was too hungry after missing last night's dinner), throwing on yesterday's jeans and an old Triforce tee, and scraping my bed-head back into a messy pony-tail, I barely squeezed into homeroom before the starting bell finished ringing. The rest of the day went smoothly, though; if you leave out my nauseated anticipation of meeting Lapis in person, that is.

When my last class of the day rolls around, I begin to consider calling it off. I never did respond to her last two messages, so I'm not committed - except for the fact that coming to school was pointless if I don't go. I glance at the clock for the umpteenth time and gnaw on my pencil, the lesson forgotten since taking my seat. All I can do is run through possible scenarios in my head. Will she be there? Will she be upset that I didn't answer? Does she live near me? What should we talk about? Does this make us friends now?

Ironically, even with all my clock-watching, I almost miss the final bell, so busy am I chasing thoughts down imaginary rabbit-holes. I jump when someone's arm brushes past me on their way out of the classroom, snapping me back to the present. A lump forms in my throat as I gather my things; it doesn't take long - I didn't even take out my notebook - but I move with deliberate slowness in an attempt to put off making a decision.

Do I join Lapis or not?

I almost don't. The coward in me shrinks my frame in on itself as I exit the building so that Lapis doesn't spot me. But the side of me that still can't quite figure itself out looks around for the transfer student - and finds her standing in the shade of a tree just ten feet away from the doors. I can still escape; the crowd of home-bound students provides more than enough cover to hide me from view. When I see her standing there, shading her eyes with a forearm and vigilant for the short geek she wants to befriend, I realize the risk she's taking. Waiting around Jasper's hunting ground when she and her goons are on the prowl is the last thing Lapis should be doing while she's still their prime target - yet here she is.

And there's something inviting about the way she looks today, dappled by shifting leaf-shade with a breeze fluttering her skirt about her knees. Curiously, I find my feet carrying me toward her.

She perks up when she spots me leaving the pavement and gives a small wave. I hunch my shoulders and walk faster until I join her beneath the tree. Now that I'm closer, I notice that she stands a little rigid, as if she, too, is nervous about this whole thing. I'd like to say that our shared discomfort makes me more relaxed, but it doesn't. My insides squirm even more in her presence, and I can barely meet her eyes.

"Um, hey."

"Hi."

She smiles around the one syllable just as the foliage shifts, admitting a shaft of mellow sunlight to penetrate our shady cocoon.

Her features look almost ethereal in this light, like a delicate veneer hiding deeper emotions: soft caring eyes the stormy blue-gray of roiling seas; spindly and elegant fingers; lips that look like they're comfortable laughing and wearing a smile, but haven't had reason to in some time. I realize that I'm staring, but Lapis doesn't seem to mind my scrutiny, just leans serenely against the tree with wisps of hair blowing around her face. I clear my throat and blurt the next thing I think of, glad that it's not in the same vein as my observations.

"So, which way do you live?"

"My uncle's place is on Rosemary Avenue."

"Oh, that's on my way. We better get going, then; who knows when Jasper will rear her ugly head?"

We both laugh, Lapis's easy and melodic, mine sounding nasal and contrived to my own ears. The worst of the crowd has thinned by now, so I start down the west walkway, but freeze in place at the sensation of a spark racing up my left forearm. I whirl on Lapis, my wrist captured in her hand, her lower lip pinched between her teeth. Like flipping a switch, her air of ease is gone, replaced by hesitation.

"Um... it's just, I usually go the other way around," she murmurs. "It takes longer, but I usually avoid Jasper that way."

There's a pleading look in her eyes when she meets my gaze. Of course I don't have the heart to refuse.

I nod weakly and let her pull me in the opposite direction until she realizes the lingering contact. The weird feeling from last night returns as she drops my hand and we follow the long curve of the sidewalk side-by-side. As we leave the school grounds behind, we enter a tunnel of trees bordering the park, their leaves beginning to stain the rich golds of early autumn. We pass through alternating light and shadow where it lays across our path, the two of us wrapped in a soft blanket of mutual silence.

My gaze hasn't left my shoes since we started walking, but now I risk a glance at the girl next to me. Her face is lifted to the sun-gilded canopy high above; unlike the times I've seen her in school, she carries her head and shoulders high, the lines of her face slack with tranquility. She manages to look pretty in such a simple, elegant way. I suddenly feel self-conscious, my messy hair and homely wardrobe feeling awkward, off-putting.

Then she's looking back at me in surprise, and her face cracks into a smile of pure sincerity. Her eyes, so soft, wink shut so that it can continue growing to fill her face.

I avert my gaze, blushing from the intensity of emotion she radiates. Not for the first time, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. My heart is racing, yet these emotions hit a brick wall on their way to the surface; I don't know how to present myself, so I go to my default, internal isolation.

Still, Lapis doesn't seem to mind. She keeps grinning as though privy to some inside joke of which I'm not aware - a curious little quirk to the line of her mouth that curls more in one corner and forms dimples in her cheeks. She looks just content to be here - to be with me. I don't know why.

"Well, we're here."

I stop abruptly, surprised by her voice after the long walk in silence. The trees gave way to houses as we turned onto the main boulevard cutting through the residential district of town, and Lapis stands at the intersection of Rosemary and Main; I live two blocks down on Thyme Ave. She resembles a sapling struggling to stand upright within a windstorm, one arm crossed over her midsection. Unlike her easy calm when we were walking, she now struggles to even meet my gaze. Her bruises no longer show, but I can feel them in her sudden insecurity.

She flickers a glance at me, starts to turn down the street, but I stop her.

"Hey-"

I'm almost as shocked as she is to hear my voice break the stillness. I don't know what I was planning to say, but apparently something deep inside me does.

"Same thing tomorrow?"

A brilliant smile breaks over her face like the dawn.

Then she turns, and I watch her skirt swish all the way down to the end of the street, complex and unnameable feelings swirling like a hurricane within me.

Finally, folks! We're gradually getting fluffier, one step at a time. c;

It sucks that I can't use the inequality symbols, as they don't show up on the page. =/ I hope any HTML users reading this will forgive me for substituting brackets.

I'd like to thank all of you who have followed and favorited so far. I hope my writing has brought you even half of the joy I feel when I see new followers and reviews. I'd also like to give a special thanks to FlameyCat, who seems to be my #1 fan at the moment. XD You have my gratitude for inspiring this chapter, motivating me to finish it when I did, and for being so encouraging~

It's always pleasantly warm here in Lapidot hell. B)

-yurImperial