Thank you so much to all of my reviewers. I'm glad you seem to be enjoying the story :) Thank you to guests AnneCullen and Samantha1987. I appreciate the reviews.
Bella
The sun seemed to have disappeared and I wondered what time it was as my eyes drifted open. Edward hadn't moved a muscle, still holding against the side of his body, and I was curled up beside him. He glanced over at me as I woke fully, stretching out a little at his side, smiling softly although his but I felt strangely disoriented and reluctant to fall asleep again. "Are you still sleepy?" Edward asked softly, and I shook my head, not really feeling bad about the lie. I didn't want to sleep again. "Would you like something to eat? Are you thirsty?" It felt surreal; to have him ask me that when just this morning…I cut the thought off ruthlessly, even as I tried to reconcile the strange feelings. I couldn't just curl up and sleep forever…I couldn't stop living. And I was so thirsty; my mouth felt like cotton and my throat ached…but the thought of facing everyone right now… "Esme and Carlisle are the only ones downstairs." He told me quietly. "Emmett and Rosalie are in their room, and Alice and Jasper are in the library." I sometimes wondered if he was just pretending he couldn't read my mind. "Do you want to go downstairs?" He asked.
"What time is it?" I wondered, shifting against him and blinking heavily.
"About nine." I nodded.
"Okay." I mumbled, sitting up stiffly. The pain medicine Carlisle had given me before my nap had worked well, but it seemed to have worn off. I wondered if he would give me more as I tried to hide the fact that I was in pain from Edward. All of my bruises seemed to ache, and my ribs protested every movement. His eyes were troubled as his arm went around me, his fingers closing around my elbow as he led me to the door and down the stairs.
Esme
Carlisle held me in his arms on the sofa as I fought back silent sobs. Bella was coming downstairs now and it would only hurt her if she saw me like this. I clenched my hand in his shirt and fought to breath normally, taking deep, shuddering breaths. My husband didn't speak, only ran one hand up and down my back as I fought for control, Bella's footsteps coming closer and closer as she and my son descended the staircase. For a moment, I considered cooking for her, but I realized that Edward would probably want to do that. Instead, I took another deep breath and tried to focus on the book I'd brought downstairs. It was one I usually enjoyed, but at the moment I longed to throw it through the window and watch the glass shatter…my muscles ached to do something, anything, to protect my daughter, the girl who was so desperately trying to keep it together after being attacked by that…monster.
I hated him. I hated that boy with a passion I didn't even know I had, and I had to fight to suppress a snarl, the growl building deep in my chest, the air in my lungs waiting to be released in a hiss. I shuddered with it, this consuming hatred and loathing for the man that had dared to attack one of my beloved children. Of my family, I was the least experienced in fighting, and, like my husband, I truly hated causing anyone harm. But I could imagine ripping that monster limb from limb, sinking my teeth into his throat and watching him die. I felt a wave of frustration and clenched the book in my hands, not realizing that I was damaging the cover until Carlisle gently placed his hand over mine, carefully removing the volume from my hands.
Bella stepped into view then and I could so easily imagine pinning him to the ground and ripping him apart, making him feel as weak and helpless as he'd made my little girl feel. She'd stood no chance against him, and he would stand no chance against us. Her eyes stared determinedly at the floor, her arms crossed as Edward kept one arm around her. My arms ached to hold her now, the monster forgotten as I longed only to comfort the too pale child in my living room. Edward led her over to the sofa, gesturing for her to sit, and she sat by my side. Carlisle had dropped all pretense of reading his own book and was now looking at Edward, the two communicating silently, but I didn't care. My husband stood then, sparing a gentle smile for Bella, and followed Edward into the kitchen while I watched the girl carefully.
She literally shook, her entire body trembling, something that hadn't quite stopped since the afternoon when Jasper had brought her home from the hospital and put her to bed. Her body was stiff and her posture unconsciously defensive, as if waiting for an attack that could happen at any second. "Bella…" I started to reach out to her, my heart breaking when she flinched, but I forced myself to smile softly, making sure she knew that I didn't take offense…that I understood. I sat back against the couch then, turning on the TV at a low volume and pretending to watch. It took her about five minutes, but she finally started to relax, even though her arms were still wrapped around herself and she still shook. Only a few minutes later, she shifted next to me, and immediately knowing what she wanted, I lifted an arm to drape around her, pulling her to my side where she leaned against me, tucking her legs up beside her, every movement deliberate and stiff. I pulled a folded quilt from the back of the sofa; glad we'd placed them throughout the house, and wrapped it around her. "Do you need some more pain medicine, sweetheart?"
I wasn't all that surprised when she sobbed suddenly, turning her face and hiding in my shoulder. "Oh sweetheart." I murmured, stroking the girl's back as she shook, her fingers clenching around my blouse. "Shh, baby girl. It's okay. Shh." I whispered against her hair, feeling more helpless than I'd ever felt in long life. "Baby, it's okay." I tried again, biting my lip and fighting back a sob. I could hear that Carlisle and Edward's near silent conversation had come to an abrupt end, but I continued to rub her back, whispering whatever bits of comfort I could think of.
Something shifted in the room then, and Bella took a deep breath, leaning more heavily on me and nodded. "Please. It hurts." The rage that I normally would have felt was subdued, and I felt, instead, an overwhelming wave of love for my son. I could hear him on the stairs, not interfering, but standing by, trying his best to help her. He was taking her embarrassment and humiliation and calming her down, helping her relax enough to ask for help, and I let him feel my appreciation and love for him.
"I love you too, Mom." His voice was barely audible, even to me, but I felt his warm affection that seemed to wash over Bella as well, as she relaxed further, and her trembling seemed to lessen. "Do you want me to bring the medicine?"
"Ask Carlisle." I cautioned him. Carlisle had just given her pain medicine before she'd fallen asleep a few hours ago and I didn't want to accidently give her too much, even though I hated seeing her in pain. As Jasper stepped into the kitchen, unseen by Bella, I shifted a little so that she was lying against me more, trying to help her get more comfortable. "Are you still tired?" I asked quietly, and she nodded, sniffing. "It's okay. After you eat something you can rest some more." I kept my voice soft and gentle. "We can watch a movie if you want." I felt her nod against my shoulder and hugged her gently, waiting for Carlisle and Edward to enter the room once more.
Bella
I shifted against Esme, trying not to think about the dull ache in my stomach, or the throbbing in my back and shoulders…and the pain that came every time I moved, the bruises littering my body making it hard to shift without flinching. Esme's cool arm around my shoulders and her cold hand on my arm helped, even if she did feel as hard as stone. Her touch was too gentle to cause anything but comfort, and soon I felt myself doze a little, until footsteps approached once more. I knew they were being deliberately loud enough for me to hear, and I appreciate it. Carlisle took a seat on my other side, not touching me, but close enough for me to be able to sense his presence. Edward sat on the floor by Esme's feet, handing me a bowl of soup that I thanked him for, slowly beginning to eat, keeping my mind only on the food.
As soon as I was finished with the soup, Edward took my bowl to the kitchen, moving slowly enough for me to track his movements, then took up his spot on the floor once more. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper entered the room after that, Emmett holding a movie that I immediately recognized as an old classic, a black and white film that I'd seen once or twice while flipping through the channels around Christmas, that was guaranteed to have very little romance, something I was grateful for. I didn't know if I could handle…I pushed the thought away. 'I'm fine. I'm safe.' I told myself firmly, relaxing a little more when Carlisle draped a blanket over me and Esme tucked it around my shoulders. Emmett sat on the floor next to Edward, a little closer to me but not touching me, and Jasper sat on the sofa, between all of us and the door. Alice stepped up to the huge glass wall and closed the curtains hanging from the ceiling, the gesture surprising me until I realized that it had been making me anxious, seeing the huge dark wall of glass that could be hiding anything.
I couldn't deny that I was safe, with Jasper by the door, Emmett and Edward at my feet, and with my second parents on either side of me. Alice murmured something and Esme placed a hand on my head, helping me lay on a pillow on her lap, my feet curled up, not touching Carlisle's leg but close, and she began to run a hand through my hair, her nails gently brushing against my scalp. I let the soothing motion lull me to sleep as the actors on screen spoke too softly for me to make out the words.
Rosalie
'I need to talk to her.' I bit down on my lip, my arms tightly crossed and my eyes shut. I stood in the dark in the middle of the forest, trying to force my jaw to unclench. 'I need to say something to her…surely I can say…something.' The thought that I didn't even like the girl…that I resented her choices and her stupidity for choosing to give up her human life for whatever existence we had, none of that had crossed my mind when Emmett had told me that the wolf had…had raped her. I'd only seen my old fiancé's cruel smile, felt his hands on my hair, felt him rip my shirt open, his hands bruising my arms as he'd shoved me against the wall, then to the ground. Ever understanding, Emmett had held me against his chest, his arms promising protection from a dead man, and I'd been unable to stop imagining it. Jacob was huge. Even to us, he could be dangerous. But to the fragile little human girl with very little physical strength…I could imagine him ripping her clothes, shoving her to the ground…it wasn't hard to put the little human in my place.
But what could I say to her? What could I tell her that she didn't already know? That it hurts? It hurts during and then after the shocked numbness fades away, it still hurts. And if you happen to have a vampire neighbor who takes pity on you and changes you into one of his undead family, then once the terrible burning fades, it still hurts. In your mind. You remember every time someone touches you. Every time the man you love kisses you, holds you, tries to comfort you. You remember when your father, who you love so much but can't seem to forgive for saving you, puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, or when your brother kisses your cheek. And sometimes, even when your mother or sister steps too close….when they hold you in their arms, when they touch your face. The reminders don't stop. They slow down. You start to function normally again. You can be around your family and sleep with your husband. You may or may not take terrible but bloodless revenge against your attackers. But it never quite stops.
It had been so many years, but I could still remember. Jasper could feel it sometimes, I was sure. Once we'd been watching a movie, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and I, all sitting on the couch a little while after Jasper and Alice had joined us. And the man on the screen had grabbed the woman's arm, shoving her against a building, his hand ripping at her dress. Jasper had abruptly turned off the movie when he'd felt my reaction, his gentle apology surrounding me in the silence, but I'd been racing through the door and out into the garden, torn between wanting Emmett's arms around me and wanting to be totally alone. I'd stopped in the woods, miles away from home, and had stood with my arms around myself, fighting back sobs.
Emmett had stood a few yards away, silent but there. Always there. He wouldn't leave me when I was like this. His presence promised that I didn't need to worry about defending myself right now…I didn't have to watch my back or look out for threats. I could focus on calming down, on taking long, deep breaths until I turned, and immediately he'd known what I'd wanted. Immediately his arms had been around me…immediately he'd been rocking me back and forth, his lips against my hair, whispering over and over again that he was sorry, that he would never let anyone hurt me, that I was safe. That had been the best part about my new indestructability…and then about Emmett. I was safe. Always safe.
Carlisle had been speaking softly with a contrite Alice and Jasper when I'd returned to the house, Emmett on my heels, but I'd ignored them. Cruelly brushed off Alice's hand that reached out to touch my arm, and Jasper's silent comfort. I'd felt the worse about jerking away from Carlisle, shoving past all of them to flee to my room. After Emmett had apologized for me softly, he'd joined me, holding me on the bed for the rest of the night.
So what could I tell the little human girl that had been so hurt by her friend, someone she thought she could trust? That you just can't trust people? That you almost got used to the terrible flashbacks that would appear at random, but in other ways they were too painful to cope with. That she would be constantly afraid that her fear would drive Edward away, or the rest of them away, and that she would wait for them to wonder why she still let something that had happen so long ago upset her.
I took a deep, shuddering breath as I turned, moving back toward the house as quickly as I could. I didn't want to be alone anymore…I wanted Emmett. I raced toward the house, ignoring the feeling that someone was chasing me…that somehow my dead ex fiancé would find me…
I pushed the front door open, taking note that Bella was sound asleep between Carlisle and Esme. Jasper, who sat on the sofa closest to the door, and Alice, who sat between him and Carlisle, glanced up at me first, followed by Emmett who started to stand. I moved to the floor beside him, in front of Bella and beside Carlisle who placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. Leaning my head against Emmett's shoulder, I brought a hand up and touched his, squeezing gently when he did. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" He asked softly, his voice just above a murmur, and I nodded, fighting back a sob. Jasper's comfort filled the room once more, and I relaxed at Emmett's side, watching the TV and listening to Bella's steady breathing.
Carlisle
Rosalie sat on the floor in front of me, my hand still clenched in hers. I knew that my daughter had never quite forgiven me for changing her…for not letting her die. It was times like these that gave me hope that someday, she would finally forgive me. She still struggled, and I felt so terrible for my daughter, my first little girl who I so wanted to have a relationship with. I was grateful that she had Emmett…that the huge, burly man she'd found in the forest had turned into such a wonderful, loving mate for her. I was grateful that Edward and Jasper regarded her with fondness and brotherly love, and that Esme saw her as a daughter. But I selfishly wanted a part of her too.
The girl on the sofa whimpered, curling up in her sleep, and I saw Edward stiffen, his eyes closing. Emmett rested a hand on his shoulder for a moment, and I knew that the two of them would have much to discuss if Edward could just bring himself to speak about it. When I'd held my son in my arms, keeping him between myself and Esme while Emmett had held Bella, he had refused to speak…or had been unable to. He couldn't bring himself to talk about it…couldn't say aloud how much pain this was causing him.
Esme continued to run her fingers through the girl's long, beautiful hair, soothing her in her sleep, and doing her best to keep the nightmares at bay. Jasper was doing the same from my side, the waves of comfort in the room reaching all of us. All of us except for Edward who wouldn't be comforted. Rosalie's hand loosened around mine as I leaned forward, but I kept my thumb rubbing circles over the back of her wrist, letting her know that I was here if she needed me. Esme had Bella at the moment. If my other daughter needed me, then I would be there.
She'd asked me before killing them. I hadn't felt it my place to tell her no…especially when I thought back on how they'd left her in the alley to die, nearly naked, her clothes and hair soaked with alcohol and I didn't want to think what else. She'd been crying…I could never forget that. How she'd looked up at me with such fear, even through her shock. There had been so many of them, and she'd been losing so much blood…how could I have left her there, such a beautiful, ambitious young girl…how could I let that be her end? How could I tell her that she couldn't make the men who'd done this to her pay? So I'd said yes. Of course. And I'd never asked anything else. She'd disappeared in the evening, as soon as the sun had dropped below the horizon, and had returned a few hours later in the early morning, his smile grim. And I hadn't asked. Edward, who'd been with us in the living room, studying from one of my anatomy books, had glanced up, his eyes meeting hers for a long moment before he'd simply nodded a greeting. She never spoke of it again. And I never asked.
Bella quieted, and I supposed it was a combination of Esme's gentle hands in her hair and Jasper's mood control. Jasper had been furious. From the second I'd first seen him when I'd arrived at the border, I'd felt the hatred and fury he'd barely been able to reign in for long enough to drive us to the hospital. He cared for Bella, more than he was ever able to let on, but he did. He loved her so much…wanted to find a way to get close to her like Emmett was able to…but after her birthday party, he'd been so guilty and miserable, so sure, even after we'd returned, that she would hate him. So he'd kept away, unable to realize that the worry and fear she felt around him was her own insecurity. She was afraid that he was upset with her, afraid that he disliked her, or blamed her in some way for putting Alice in danger. Of course she never said anything to him…but she did to Edward, and although I couldn't quite blame my son for wanting to keep her away from the one who'd nearly hurt her in the first place, I didn't agree. Still, I hadn't seen it as my place to interfere.
But when he'd learned that she saw him as her brother…that she loved him just like he loved her….he'd been distraught. And as I'd held my son in the hospital corridor while my youngest daughter was drugged and suffering through an exam to see how badly that monster had hurt her, I'd been more angry with Jacob Black that when I'd first heard Emmett's hesitant confession on the phone. He'd hurt not only my youngest daughter, but also the rest of my beloved children…my wife…myself. He'd attacked my entire family.
Sam had called when Bella was in the shower with Alice, and I had answered immediately, ready to tell him that if he didn't kill the boy, then I would. I wouldn't let Jacob get away with this…I had no compassion for a man who attacked a young girl and raped her…there was no excuse, no possible justification for this. "Cullen?" Sam's voice had been dull and sad, and I'd felt a bit of sorrow for him. He may hate me, but he hadn't had any part of what Jacob had done to her, and he was obviously worried about Bella. "How is she?" He'd asked hesitantly.
"As well as can be expected. We have her here."
"Billy's still fishing with Charlie…"
"Yes. We'll keep her here until Charlie returns. If she wants to return with him to her house, then Edward will probably insist on staying with her, and we'll all keep an eye on her." I reassured him kindly.
"He attacked a human." Sam informed me dully. "He could have killed her…and it was intentional. We don't have much of a choice."
"I know." I wasn't being cruel…I knew their rules almost as well as they did. I'd studied the wolves extensively, learned their history and their traditions. They weren't like us…they believed they existed to protect humans, and their laws revolved around that.
"Not to mention the treaty…" He sighed. "Jacob broke the treaty. He attacked one of your family." I was surprised to hear Sam acknowledge it…to hear him admit that she was a member of our family. But he sounded so tired… "We've agreed…we'll wait until his father gets back. Billy should get some explanation."
I didn't know if that was better…if it would be better for Jacob to die mysteriously…surely they could shield the man, keep his son's crime a secret from him. Bella wouldn't want him to suffer too…and then her father…I sighed at that. Her father was a whole different issue we would all need to deal with…when he returned.
"As long as he's taken care of." I'd said simply, my own voice sad. I knew that both Emmett and Jasper would be happy to take care of him. Edward…well he would probably enjoy it, but his gift would make it too painful for him to be near Jacob Black. It was a lucky thing he couldn't read Bella's mind.
"I'm so sorry." Sam's voice had been tormented, and I'd tried to assure him that it wasn't his fault. "I know…but…I'm sorry." And with that he'd hung up the phone, the quiet dial tone sounding in my ear.
Emmett
Rosalie took a long time to relax against me. She'd wanted to be alone before, but just like the early day's I'd spent with her, it was difficult to know when to follow her and stay nearby and when to leave her completely alone. Carlisle held her hand, and I was surprised she continued to allow it. Her relationship to Carlisle wasn't something we discussed…any attempt on my part usually led to her anger, and I did my best to avoid that at all costs. Not only because her temper was short…I hated seeing her upset.
Eventually Jasper's gift managed to calm al of us down….all of us except for Edward who remained rigid at my side. I glanced back at Bella, my back against the sofa where her arms were crossed feebly in front of her chest, her knees pulled to her stomach under the blanket. Carlisle and Esme had her. Rosalie, as if sensing my thoughts, leaned back against the sofa, keeping Carlisle's hand and resting her shoulder against his leg. He ran a gentle hand through her hair, his expression worried, and I knew that she would be okay. I looked over at Jasper who held Alice at his side, and he nodded. But Edward shook his head. The only one able to hear my thoughts was sometimes the hardest to reason with, and I sighed, gesturing toward the door. 'You can't just bottle everything up, Ed.' I scolded him silently. He may have been a vampire longer, but I was mentally older…sort of…I'd been twenty when the bear had nearly killed me, and Edward only seventeen at the time of his change, so I insisted that I was older than him. He usually didn't argue the point, never caring enough to bother. 'You need to talk to someone. You're going to implode.' I tried teasing a little, and he glared at me, teeth bared. 'Calm down.' I scolded him again, moving toward the door, and with a heavy sigh, he followed until we were racing through the woods. For the first time, I thought that maybe I should have drug Jasper along.
"What do you want, Emmett?"
"You know what I want." I snapped, losing patience with him. "This is killing you! You think I can just sit by and watch you pretend that it isn't? I remember how it feels…"
"You have no idea how it feels!" He roared at me, and I forced myself to stay calm. He didn't mean it…I knew he was moody and tempermental and it was hardly his fault. But he hadn't been this sharp with me since meeting Bella.
'She really is good for him…' I thought mildly. "When I found out about Rosalie…"
"Rosalie wasn't raped by someone you knew! You couldn't have stopped it!"
"You couldn't have either." I reminded him softly.
"I drove her to see him!" He screamed, and I knew that the rest of the family could hear his tormented words…I knew that this would hurt our parents. But he needed to yell…I certainly had. "I let her stay with him! I knew he liked her…that he wanted to convince her to stay with him…"
"You didn't know how far he would go…"
"Why not! I should have! I should have known." His words broke off at the end and he stood stiffly in the middle of the forest, his head in his hands. "I should have known…I let him hurt her." My brother was strong and fierce, a fighter nearly as good as Jasper, with a gift that made him a serious threat to anyone that would do his family harm. But he was still my brother…he'd been my first friend in this life…the first person to sit with me when I couldn't figure out how to help Rosalie…the first person to put his hand on my shoulder and promise that it would get easier, that no one blamed me for not having enough control. And I'd never seen him in this much pain.
I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around him, a rare gesture of comfort that I was happy to give. I wouldn't allow anyone to hurt my mate. I'd fight to the death for my sisters and my mother, and would stand beside my father through anything. But that didn't mean that anyone who hurt my brothers wouldn't pay. I loved them just as much as the rest of my family. "You did not let him do anything. It wouldn't have been right to keep her from visiting her friend. She would have been upset." I murmured, trying to reassure him. "You had no way of knowing that Jacob would hurt her." Edward shook his head, denying my words, and I shook him sharply, glaring down at him. "Did he ever threaten her? Think about hurting her? About raping her? Did he ever give you any indication that he would do this to her?"
"No, but…"
"And if he had…" I spoke over him. "Would you have allowed her to see him?"
"Of course not!"
"Then how are you at fault?" He didn't answer, but he stopped fighting me, choosing instead to stare at the ground. "She'll be okay. We'll take care of her until she's okay…until both of you are okay."
"The newborn army…and Victoria…"
"We will worry about that. Jasper and Carlisle have some ideas. We won't let anything else hurt her. Okay?" He sighed, and I understood. Edward didn't like letting other people fight for him. He wanted to be in control, to know what was going on and face it head on. It was the kind of person he was. But I also knew that he couldn't do everything…he needed to spend time with Bella and help her heal. And he needed to recover as well. So hopefully he would step back and let the rest of us handle this strange threat against our family. And Victoria. I thought about how much trouble she and James had caused our family...of Bella on the floor of the ballet studio, the scent of her blood heavy in the air, her painful screams that had echoed though the room and Edward's tormented face as he'd desperately tried to comfort her, watching helplessly as she'd slipped into the unconscious for days. I would enjoy killing Victoria.
Thank you for reading :)