Help Me To Know How I Should Care

Stiles tries everything. Archaic books that required translation, internet searches, and watching a bunch of werewolf movies (Teen Wolf I & II, Wolf Man, Skinwalkers, Blood and Chocolate, all three Underworld movies, and Cursed). Nothing helped to clarify the matter at all for Stiles, in fact it just reinforced the fact that fiction couldn't be trusted because there was very little that these films agreed on regarding werewolf mythology and most didn't come close to the truth anyway. The truth. About werewolves. Now that was a sentence not everybody could think with a straight face.

Another thing that was bothering him, something Stiles felt infinitely more capable of dealing with, was Danny. He knew they had never been close friends and that all they'd been doing lately was foolish around, but it still hurt Stiles that he'd been so easily abandoned. Danny hadn't so much as looked in Stiles' direction since Derek had issued his statement of intent concerning Danny's place in the pack. So Stiles developed a devious plan. Okay, so he wasn't going to be able to take over the world with this plan, but it's simplicity worked in his favour. He simply cornered the other boy, thankful that Danny had none of the enhanced werewolf senses that would have warned him that Stiles was coming (not that even Scott seemed to use his abilities very often).

"Hello, Danny," Stiles said cordially and the other boy just peered back at him uncomfortably.

"Um," Danny started, then rubbed the back of his short dark hair and glanced around at the empty classroom.

"Oh come on!" Stiles groaned out. "Seriously, what is going on. Ever since you became Pack I haven't seen you for more than ten minutes at a time and only in big groups. Is there a reason you're avoiding me? Is this how you break it off with all your fuck-buddies?" Stiles asked. It didn't make him glad to see Danny flinch although the other boy deserved it. Stiles didn't want to be this caustic bitter teenager who had to track people down and hurl abuse at them. He really didn't.

"Look, Stiles I never meant to hurt you. I thought you understood, we were just casual and now I-"

"I'm not a girl, Danny, I don't care that we're not making out anymore. Okay, I do miss the orgasms but I can get past that... Did Derek say anything to you? Because he's been acting all kinds of weird around me ever since."

Danny sighed and Stiles knew he was right. Which made no sense. Really, what was going on here? Normally Stiles was the one to connect the dots, he was fairly intelligent and honest enough to admit that. What was he missing? "Stiles... has Derek hurt you? I don't want t get involved, I'm not that person who thinks he has to save people from themselves, everyone is allowed to make bad judgements and I believe that if you can't learn from your mistakes then you are doomed to repeat them. Normally I would stay as far away from this as I can, I just need to know that one thing. Does he hurt you?"

"Hurt me? You mean other than the occasional death threat? No, not really. I mean, he's Derek, a fairly bad tempered guy and I do seem to set him off but it's not like he's out of control or anything. In fact ever since he became Alpha he's been even less grumpy than before. What does this have to do with anything?" Stiles asked, re-focusing.

Danny looked relieved. "Remember the conversation we had when we started fooling around? How you realised you more than liked Derek? Well, he more than likes you, Stiles. I think he was jealous that night he found us together. I'm not saying go for it, because honestly I'm not sure he's good for you, but it is your life and you are practically in love with the guy," Danny said, as if it was obvious.

"I'm what? No. No, I'm not. In love with who now? That's crazy. It's impossible. Oh my god it;s so true. Shit, does he know? I'm so screwed!" Stiles collapsed into a nearby seat, face smacking down onto the table as hopelessness overcame him.

Danny approached him hesitantly, and with a sigh he patted Stiles' back in a way that he supposed was supposed to be comforting. "Have some faith, Stilinski. It'll work out," and before Stiles could lift his head Danny was gone, leaving him alone to the dread that was swirling around din his stomach.

Next pack meeting Stiles stayed at home. He sent Scott away with the excuse that his dad was around for once and he wanted to spend some quality time with him. Even Allison gave him a 'you're kidding me, right' look and Stiles knew he was fooling no one yet still refused to go. He was making a statement, or something. Well, maybe he was just sulking.

The day afterwards he woke up to find Derek sitting at his desk staring at him, eyes glowing red even as him other features remained a hundred percent human.

"This would be interpreted as stalking, you know this right?" Stiles said. He was surprisingly relaxed considering there was a possibly angry werewolf in his room at seven am on a Saturday. He rolled over and snuggled under the warmth of his quilt, ignoring the almost growl that Derek released at his gesture.

"Arrest me then. You dad is downstairs having a breakfast of bacon and eggs with black coffee as we speak. I'm sure if you yell loud enough he'll come running. Not that he'd be able to stop me doing whatever I wanted to of course," Derek said, his voice low and dangerous.

Stiles ignored it. "Bacon and eggs? Damn it he knows he isn't allowed bacon. Are they fried eggs?" He asked, jumping out of bed and forgetting that he has only slept in his boxers last night. He was distracted by his father's cholesterol and didn't even notice Derek barrelling towards him until he was on his back with a werewolf lying flush on top of him. This was when it became extremely embarrassing to be sixteen and in love with someone who was so close they could feel the 'hello' in his pants.

"Stiles," Derek growled, and Stiles had to stop himself from physically shivering in response to that voice. Ever since Danny had first pointed out that Stiles was attracted to Derek he had been painfully aware of any physical reactions to the other man, knowing that he could smell arousal as well as other emotions. Stiles had always made sure that panic or fear or irritation were his strongest emotions hoping that the werewolf wouldn't scent past them. However now he was aware that he was in love with the older boy and he was deeply afraid that nothing could hide that, after all wasn't everyone always saying that love was the strongest emotion? What if Derek scented it and kicked him out of the pack? Stiles wanted nothing more than to be a part of the pack, and he couldn't bare to think of his life without those bonds. He didn't want to be alone again.

"Stiles. Have you figured out your place yet?" Derek asked, and he was deceptively calm, at least as calm as Stiles saw him.

"No," Stiles admitted.

"No," Derek agreed. "That's probably because you've been distracted spending time with Danny again," he said.

Stiles had to remind himself to breathe. "No, I haven't. How do you even know I saw him?"

"I could smell you on him a few weeks ago, and I haven't seen you since," Derek said.

"Why is it such a big deal? I saw him once, cornered him in a classroom and asked him why he was avoiding me, that's all," Stiles said.

"Alone?" The word was guttural, and Derek's teeth were staring to sharpen, his eyes ruby coloured as he struggled to maintain his human form.

Stiles remembered what Danny had said. At the time he had been overwhelmed by his own personal revelation, but now it came back to him. "Shit, are you jealous?" Stiles blurted out, and then turned a shade of red that was normally only found in cartoons and surely wasn't healthy.

Derek froze. "Stiles, sometimes you are the thickest creature on the whole planet," he ground out between his teeth.

"Oh," Stiles was mortified. He'd guessed wrong and now Derek knew he had thought for a moment that Derek had feelings for him. God, how stupid could he be? Derek Hale, alpha among werewolves, sex god among men, had feelings for Stiles? Yeah right, in his sad pathetic lonely dreams. Derek was straight, for starters, and then there was the fact that even if he was rampantly gay there was no way in this world that he'd ever fall for a guy like Stiles, who was more slim than fit, pale instead of golden, cute looking instead of hot.

Derek let out a very literal growl of frustration, and then his lips met Stiles' and Stiles melted. Tongue caressing the inside of his mouth, the intensity of the kiss growing by the second until it felt like Derek was trying to lick out all of Stiles' scent and taste so that all Stiles could taste was Derek, his alpha, his lover. Derek's hands stroked his chest and pulled him even closer allowing him to grind his groin against Stiles eliciting an aroused gasp from the younger boy as his hips thrust up to meet Derek's. Stiles mewed his pleasure and Derek broke the kiss, staring into Stiles' lust darkened eyes and stared him down until Stiles instinctively moved his head to the side allowing Derek at the vulnerable curve of his ivory neck. Derek bit down gently so as not to break the skin and sucked until Stiles started panting heavily moments away from coming. "God, you're perfect," Derek groaned and licked the abused area.

Stiles was too gone on lust to even ponder that statement and he tugged at Derek's t-shirt as he whined. Too many clothes. He wanted to see Derek, to feel his skin and taste him because right now Stiles was positive that Derek was the tastiest thing in the entire universe. Derek smiled wolfishly and helped Stiles remove his black t-shirt leaving only a smooth expanse of sun-kissed flesh that Stiles wasted no time in attacking with his lips and hands. Derek tasted just as good as he imagined, and Stiles quickly licked his way down to his naval, tugging at the thick jeans that were in his way. He wanted to go lower. Things had never gone this far with Danny, once the other boy had blown Stiles but Stiles had still been gathering his courage to return the favour. Derek pushed him back down, licking at his neck again and muttering in his ear. It took a few seconds for Stiles to realise what was being said.

"No... never, I promise," he said.

Derek's eyes practically glowed in satisfaction. "I'll teach you how to do it properly. For now, I have something else in mind," he said, and pressing two fingers against Stiles' mouth. Stiles opened automatically, licking and sucking at the digits as Derek's spare hand removed his own jeans and boxers. Soon his fingers were gone, replaced with Derek's tongue as Stiles' own boxers were slid down his thighs and kicked free. He'd never imagined a time when Stiles would feel no shame or embarrassment at being buck naked in front of Derek Hale, but right now he was so hot and there was something pleasing about being free of all clothing. It took him longer than a minute to figure out that it was because Derek was pleased. Somehow Derek's happiness had gotten tied up in Stiles' and it seemed like there was no end or beginning, they were one person of pleasure and need. However, Stiles felt a sudden surge of panic when Derek positioned them so that Stiles' legs were wrapped around Derek's waste and the other man's fingers were poised for entry. That panic was wholly his own, but he knew that Derek felt it too.

"Shh, it's okay. It'll be fine, Stiles, I'll make it all okay," he whispered against Stiles's forehead as he leaned in. Stiles struggled to relax and barely noticed Derek rummaging through the drawer of his bedside table. "I'm not even going to ask," Derek muttered as his displeasure flared up upon finding a tube of lube. Derek wasn't sure if he should be pissed that Stiles even thought about buying something like this before he realised he was Derek's and Derek's alone, or pleased that it was unused. Not that he didn't already know that Stiles was a virgin. Neither emotion was suitable for now, and he liberally applied the gel to his fingers before pressing into Stiles.

Stiles winced at the burn and started to struggle. "Stiles, Stiles, you have to relax. Just concentrate on me. Everything is going to be okay, it's going to be so good, Stiles, if you just relax and let it, I promise," Derek whispered and Stiles felt something stir in him, something that wanted to believe Derek and let it all go, all the worry and the pain and the fear but he couldn't. It was too soon, he wasn't ready and his fear was overwhelming the bond that had grown between them.

Then Derek sucked at the bruise on his neck, and Stiles' mind blanked off. Now all he could feel was pleasure, even as Derek pushed in deeper. Then Derek's long figures curled up and stars appeared quite literally. Or rather his eyes were closed and dots were flashing round making his head swim. I felt so good, and he lifted his hips to get more.

Derek chuckled and Stiles was sure he'd never heard a sexier sound. "See, I told you it would feel good," he said as he scissored his fingers, hitting Stiles' prostate every other time. Stiles babbled meaningless promised and threats at him, both if Derek stopped doing what he was doing and if he didn't do more. Logically Stiles knew Derek would have to remove his fingers if he was to achieve the 'more' goal, yet it was almost the last thing Stiles wanted because this felt so good and he knew he could come just from this. In fact, he wasn't sure why he wasn't already in orgasmic bliss although he was sure it was something to do with Derek not wanting him too. Damn sour wolf.

"Be patient," Derek said as Stiles whimpered at the feeling of Derek removing his fingers. Then the pain returned and Stiles knew he was feeling Derek penetrating him for the first time with his cock. It felt like he was going to break Stiles and Stiles could feel his own pain even as Derek's pleasure washed over him through the psychic bond they seemed to have developed.

"I don't know what I'm feeling anymore," Stiles said, his head tossing on his bed as he struggled with the conflicting emotions. Derek pushed in further, and then pleasure exploded in his head.

"Please, please, please," Stiles whimpered incoherently. Derek was holding him in position now as Stiles was a wreck of emotions and sensation. Derek thrust in slowly at first, giving Stiles time to adjust and breathe, until Stiles was the one begging his lover to go faster, harder, to make him feel that way again. Derek didn't hold back.

Stiles wasn't sure he would survive this, he panted and moaned and begged until finally Derek leaned in and bit down onto the other side of his neck with human teeth that didn't pierce the skin, and Stiles somehow knew it was permission because the next thing he knew he was arching his body and shooting all over his and Derek's stomachs without either of them even touching his dick. With a growl Derek pumped in two more times and filled Stiles up with his cum.

Sweaty and stinking of sex they parted. Reason was slowly coming back to Stiles but he was so tired and ached in a way that felt so good he couldn't even be bothered to move. He was vaguely aware that Derek had gotten up and for a moment he was scared that Derek was going to leave him, but then a damp cloth was stroking at his flesh and removing his semen from his body before Derek's warm flesh was pressed up against his and a blanket was pulled on top of them. Stiles snuggled into Derek's embrace, feeling safe and loved.

"What just happened?" He muttered, thinking that for some reason it was important that he asked that question even though he had no idea why.

"I just claimed you as my mate," Derek replied and Stiles didn't even have the energy to form a thought in reply before sleep overcame him.