Hawke swallowed hard, and Fenris laughed at how sweetly shy she really was. This skilled rogue he had seen slaughter countless victims was suddenly very cute, very shy, and very vulnerable. What he hadn't expected was her sudden bravery. "Hardly fair of you to be shirtless and not I," she said as she removed her shirt with one quick action, revealing herself to him.
He caught himself staring in awe as she threw her shirt at him, took his bottle out of his hand, and ran upstairs without him. He shook his head laughing, tossing her shirt on top of his as he made his way up the stairs after her.
When he entered the bedroom, he saw that she had lit the candle near his bed and had removed the rest of her clothes. She kneeled on the bed looking innocently at him. "Hmm," he said closing the door behind him. "Who's turn was it? I find myself suddenly very distracted."
Hawke held out a hand for him and pulled him closer to her. "No more questions," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. As they once again found each other, she moved her hands down his back, and began working him out of his pants. He never broke from her, kicking his pants off and embracing her back so he could gently lay her down. He positioned himself next to her, running his fingers down her arm and then down her thigh, tickling her playfully at his soft touch.
They spent some time exploring each other, touching and kissing and enjoying the new found freedom he never knew he had. He broke the silence only once, with one final question to end their game. "Are you certain you want this," he asked, knowing it would be her first time as well as his.
She pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes, "I have never wanted anything more," she said as she kissed him again and officially offered herself to him.
They made love that night, slowly and tenderly and lovingly. Discovering each other, learning each others wants, needs, and desires. He was gentle with her, first preparing her for him with his tongue, then his fingers, and finally him. She made soft noises that broke him every time, wanting to devour her and make her completely a part of him. Their first time was perfect for both of them, allowing a brief pause for a second time and then a third. As they settled into each other they drifted off to sleep, still clinging to each other not wanting to part even in dreams.
Hawke's dreams were frightening. Fenris, chained collar sinking into the flesh of his neck, attached to the foot of Danarius' bed. She was in the corner of the room, watching him struggle to sleep, and she tried to go to him but found she couldn't move. Danarius stirred in his sleep and immediately, obediently, Fenris was awake in case his master needed something. She shook her head, trying to remove the image from her mind, but he was still there, the lapdog to his master.
"Pathetic, isn't it," she heard behind her, and it was Fenris. "Every night the same, no way out."
She looked at him. "Is this your dream or mine?"
"I do not know," he said watching himself try to fall back into some sleep. "I have this one often. It seems I can not escape it even when I am happy."
She looked back at the slave Fenris, tears forming in her eyes. "This part of your life is over. Can't you let it go?"
"No," she heard softly behind her. "As long as he is alive he can haunt me like this."
"Are you saying he does this to you on purpose?"
Fenris nodded. "He has always been able to control my dreams. I think that is how he finds me so easily. He is in my head even now."
Hawke let out a sigh. "I would much like to get him out of here," she said. "He has no place here anymore."
"If only it were that easy," Fenris said now standing over the sleeping Danarius. "I have tried many times to kill him here, but it never works. You being here puts you in danger. You should go before he discovers you."
"I don't know how," she said quietly as if not to wake the beast.
But he stirred, as slave Fenris jumped again to be at this side if needed. Dream Fenris grabbed Hawke and pushed her behind him. Danarius' eyes opened and looked right at the two, ignoring his lapdog next to him. "Ah my little wolf, it seems you have a weakness after all."
Fenris snarled in anger. "I am no longer yours, and I will kill you before you touch her."
He laughed an evil, disturbing laugh. "We'll see about that," he said yanking the chain of slave Fenris. "Always mine," he reminded Fenris as he snapped his fingers. In an instant Hawke was now on the bed chained to each post, and completely naked. "I imagine she makes for a much better slave than you," he said running his hands down Hawke's bare chest. "I am going to have fun with her."
Hawke whimpered under Danarius' touch, tears falling freely. "Fenris, please make him stop."
But Fenris found he couldn't move, and as Danarius laughed he sent a fireball to Hawke's stomach, flesh scorching under the spell and Hawke cried out in pain. "Submit my pet, you two are now mine."
Fenris screamed and instantly woke up. He looked at Hawke, still sleeping naked in his arms, but her body was stiff and shaking. He wondered if she was in his dream after all. He ran his hand down her side to gently wake her, and finally she stirred under his touch. She was quiet, awoken from some horrible nightmare about Danarius she didn't want to share with him. She tried to put it out of her mind, "morning already," she mumbled as she wiped the tears before he could see them.
"It appears so," he said as he kissed her shoulder. "Sleep well," he dared to ask.
She shrugged, not wanting to lie to him but not wanting to admit the truth. "You?"
"The same," he said.
She grabbed his arm and pulled it around her. "Can we stay like this forever?"
He laughed softly behind her. "I imagine the smell would get to us after a while. And we would starve."
"Oh yeah," she said, mad at him for ruining her fantasy.
"Hawke," he said a bit more seriously than he meant to. "Your heart is racing. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she said immediately pulling away from him and sitting up. "I guess I should get moving," she said rubbing her eyes and trying to focus.
Fenris sat up on the opposite side of the bed and pulled his pants on. "Fine," he said harshly. "Keep your secrets." He walked around the bed and passed her and he could see she was now embarrassed. It wasn't how he planned to start the day after the night they had shared, but she wasn't trusting him again and that bothered him. He left her to go downstairs and prepare the fire for breakfast.
Hawke let the tears come as she heard him go. Already he was upset with her, only because she didn't want to start the day talking about his past. But her dream frightened her, the touch of Danarius still on her skin as he stroked her skin, burning her flesh, telling her how beautiful the lyrium markings would make her. Fenris had thankfully awoken her then, but she could still feel the burn on her chest.
His keen elf hearing heard the quiet sobs from upstairs and he cursed himself for not being gentle with her. He quietly returned to her, now curled up and whimpering softly, not even noticing he was there. "Hawke," he said soothingly, and she looked at him feeling foolish. He sat on the bed and brought her to him, allowing her to cry in his arms. He stroked her hair and held her close until she calmed down.
"It was only a stupid dream," she said finally, as she tried to compose herself.
"Do you wish to talk about it," he offered again, afraid of what she'd say.
His fears were confirmed. "It was Danarius," she said quietly, ashamed and afraid to even say his name.
Fenris kissed her head. "So we did share the dream."
She looked at him. "It was really you there?"
He nodded. "Which also means Danarius was there, and he knows about you."
"Will he come after you now because of me," she asked getting upset again.
"More like he will come after you because of me." Fenris pulled away from her and began pacing the bedroom. "I can not wait any longer for him to come here. I must find him and take care of this."
"What about me," she asked. "You're not going to leave me here while you look for him are you?"
"It is too dangerous. I will not risk it."
"So you're going to leave me," she said again, looking away. He sighed, not knowing what to do or how to comfort her. He walked back over to her and held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. The tears returned, and her eyes begged him to stay. "You can't go," she said sternly through the tears, "I forbid it."
He laughed and kissed her, pushing the tears away with his thumbs. "You forbid it do you," he said teasing her.
She pulled him on to to the bed, pinned him down and jumped on top of him. "Yes," she said as she bent down to hiss him, her still bare breasts pushing against his chest.
He moaned at the feel of her as her tongue slipped under his guard. She continued to hold both his arms down as she teased him, moving over him slowly through his pants, and she could feel the effect she was having on him.
He playfully struggled against her, and she tried her hardest to keep him pinned down, but it didn't last. With one quick burst of light, his markings lit up the room as her hands completely phased through his arms where she was holding him down. In a swift agile motion while she was distracted, he took the advantage and moved on top of her flipping her over and pinning her down instead. Her chest now on the bed and back towards him, she struggled under his tight grasp but couldn't move. He kicked off his pants as he held her, pressing his chest into her back and not letting her move.
She laughed. "That is completely unfair," she protested as he held her wrists in place on the bed.
He leaned over her and whispered in her ear. "Are you saying you do not want this?"
She moaned and closed her eyes as his breath and sound of his voice drove her crazy. She felt herself pushing back against him and slowly got on her knees to invite him to take her.
He wasted no time, discovering she was already wet for him. He entered her slowly from behind, enjoying the new way she felt and having full control of her. She pushed against him in rhythm to his movements, and he had to hold back several times, not wanting to end the game so soon.
She kept her head down, moaning softly with each thrust he pushed into her. He was on top of her and behind her, holding on to her wrists above her. He was breathing heavily in her ear which drove her even further over the edge. Her moans because louder until they were almost screams, and he couldn't hold back anymore. He released inside of her and she accepted, waves of ecstasy going through both their bodies at the same time.
Slowly he rolled off her and held her against him. "It seems my thoughts are irrational when it comes to you," he said after some silence, running his hand along her arm. "I am willing to do anything to protect you."
She sighed, kissing the back of his hand that was beneath her. "You need to remember you are not alone in this. You have friends now, you have me, we all look out for each other."
They remained silent a little longer, holding each other and lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, against her will, she stirred away from him. "Didn't you say we couldn't stay in bed all day?"
"What if I changed my mind," he said even though he got up with her.
She smiled softly at him, then began to scan the room. "Did I even bring my stuff here?"
Fenris nodded. "It is downstairs. I took the liberty of cleaning it for you."
Hawke looked at him in surprise. "When did you have time to do that?"
"You slept a while when you first got here," he responded. "I had time."
She shook her head in wonderment. "You really are amazing," she said as she stretched.
"I'll bring it up so you can get dressed while I start breakfast," he said as he put his pants back on.
They ate in relative silence, the weight of the day ahead lingering in the air. After breakfast they both got washed up and dressed and began making their way through Kirkwall. The walk from Hightown to Lowtown was a long one, and they spent that too in silence. As they approached her home, Hawke hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. Fenris rubbed her back in support. "I'm right behind you," he said, and she nodded. Slowly she went up the stairs, careful not to make a sound to alert them to her presence too soon. He noticed her breathing becoming very controlled, as if she was forcing herself to breath even though she didn't want to. She opened the door and walked in, Fenris right beside her, as her mother and uncle both came out of different rooms to see who had come in.
Immediately her mother exclaimed, "my daughter, you've come home!"
"Mother, you remember Fenris," Hawke introduced, trying to stall the inevitable.
"Where's Carver," Leandra asked hesitantly.
Hawke paused, not sure how to phrase it. "He's not coming home mother."
Leandra looked at her puzzled. "Will I ever see him again," she dared to ask.
"He's gone," a pause, "I'm sorry."
Hawke wasn't prepared for what happened next, but Fenris was. Leandra had lunged forward and begun attacking her own daughter. Fenris jumped behind Leandra and held her back as she screamed. "Why are you alive and not my son," she yelled. "Both my babies are gone." She collapsed to the floor hysterical, and all Hawke could do was back away.
"I'm so sorry mother," she said softly, tears forming in her eyes from the pain she had caused.
Her mother stopped crying for a moment to look up at her. "You've let both my babies die, how could you?"
Hawke said nothing, just leaned against the front door watching her mother fall apart. Fenris was still holding on to her, and spoke for Hawke. "You should remember your other child is right in front of you, and she has just lost her brother as well."
It was a useless statement however, both Leandra and Hawke didn't hear it as they were lost in grief.
Leandra managed to yell once more at Hawke to get out, and she did so. Fenris looked towards her uncle, who now knelt down to comfort his sister. "Go," Gamlen said to Fenris. "Go after her. I've got Leandra."
And so Fenris released his hold on Leandra who didn't even notice, and ran out after Hawke.
She had not gone far, standing just outside the door with her head down. He came up behind her and ran his hands down her arms. That's when he noticed she was breathing heavily, and very very cold. He moved to face her. "What is it," he asked alarmed at her pale expression.
She tried to gather enough strength to answer him, but barely got it out. "I can't breath," she managed to say, holding on to the railing for support.
He tried for several minutes to calm her down, but nothing was working. Finally Fenris led her down the stairs and brought her down the road to the Hanged Man. She was beside him, now clutching her chest while gasping for air. He pulled her through the empty bar and up to Varrics room. Varric looked up from the table where he was cleaning his crossbow.
Fenris stopped while holding Hawke upright to tell Varric, "get the mage."
Varric didn't hesitate, sensing the urgency in his voice and seeing Hawke looking very fragile and weak. He immediately left for Darktown to get Anders.
Fenris lay Hawke down on the bed, as she had grown very silent while still struggling to breath. "Talk to me Hawke, tell me what's happening."
She looked at him with frightened eyes. "My chest hurts," she said while gasping for air. "My heart feels like it's going to explode. I can't," she paused, "I can't catch my breath."
"Try to relax," he said stroking her hair. "Concentrate on breathing. Focus on me."
She nodded but curled up into a ball, bringing her knees close to her chest. "It hurts Fenris," she said again, now crying in pain.
He took her hand and held it. "Anders will be here soon."
She held on to him for a few minutes, but he noticed after a while her breathing was slowing and she was no longer holding on to him. He put his head down closer to her chest to listen to her heart beat, but was met with silence. Her heart was no longer beating.