I'm quite late today, but this chapter should make up for it! *wink*
Thanks so very much for all the reviews...and happy reading!
When he arrived at the Alexandria house Tony had come to think as home even if he didn't live there, he saw the light in Jethro's bedroom was on, so he jogged straight upstairs. He was afraid of what he would see once there, and he was right.
The sight of his lover pushing clothes inside a duffle bag was like a punch in his stomach, but he tried to hold on his calm. He needed to keep a cool head, since he doubted Jethro was thinking straight at the moment.
The older man raised his eyes from his packing and asked, "Shouldn't you be with your team?"
"The Director isn't going to accept your resignation."
"The hell she isn't!" Gibbs exclaimed angrily. "I've enough years put in to retire."
"Of course you can retire, but the point is I won't let you do it," Tony replied firmly.
"Why the hell not?" Jethro growled, dropping the clothes on the bed as he stared at Tony with his fists balled.
"Because I know you, and I know you'll regret your decision as soon as you calm down." Tony said calmly, walking closer to his angry lover. "I also know that when it happens, you will prevent yourself from giving in to your desire to go back, because doing it would be like admitting you were wrong—and you are never wrong. I know all of this—and I don't want you to go through it."
Jethro looked at him in silence for a few minutes and then he let go of his belligerent attitude. "Tony..." he began softly. "You saw what happened. How can I keep working for a government that allowed so many deaths just to avoid bad publicity?"
"It wasn't the government that caused those deaths, but Deputy Director Welsh. Not everyone is like him. Think about all the good people you met as a Marine and as a NCIS agent. Think of Tom Morrow or Colonel Bushnell, who preferred to resign his commission rather than protect a criminal as he had been ordered to."
"I-I don't remember them," Gibbs said softly, his eyes full of confusion.
Tony bit his lower lip as he nodded slowly. "And that's another reason you cannot resign. You're not in the condition to make such an important decision."
Jethro dropped to sit on the bed and took his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do..." he whispered, as desolate as Tony as had never felt him to be.
The younger man sat down too and put an arm around the older man's back, pulling him against his side, just like Jethro had done with him numerous times.
"Why don't you take a sick leave to give yourself the time to recover from this trauma?" Tony suggested. "You aren't well, Jethro and you know it. You are in shock, and confused by all you forgot and were made remember in just two days. You probably shouldn't even be out of the hospital, but I know you won't agree to get back, so I won't ask. However you must give yourself the time to heal, and recover your memory. Afterward, if you feel you still want to leave NCIS, then I'll support your decision."
"It's a good plan...but I still need to leave here, Tony. If I stay, Abby or Jenny or Ducky will come and try to influence me..."
"I know, and I agree. You need to go to some place you can be just yourself, Jethro, not Agent Gibbs or Boss. Where were you planning to go?" Tony asked, tilting his head toward the duffle bag. "Somewhere warm, I guess by your choice of clothes."
"My boss...My former boss, Mike Franks, has a place near Baja, in Mexico. I was planning to go there."
"Then go, Jethro," Tony nodded. "It sounds like a good place to recharge your batteries. I only ask you leave me a number where I can contact you...I promise I won't try to influence you in any way."
Gibbs raised his head from his lover's shoulder and looked straight at his eyes, "Of course you would never do it." He bent forward and kissed Tony on the lips. "Thank you. Sometimes I wonder what I would do without you. I'm so lucky to have you by my side."
Tony smiled, moved by Gibbs' declaration. "As lucky as I am to have you."
"Ya sure?" Jethro asked, as his eyes took a very serious look. "I often think you got the worst deal between us. I'm aware I'm not an easy guy to live with, and you didn't get to chose to be with me. It was forced on you."
"Yeah, I didn't get to chose—the hormones I was pumped with prevented me from it. But I've always liked you, even before the bond. I felt what there was in your heart, and I knew you were a good man. And it's not just that...I never regretted bonding with you, not even during those long years we were separated. I wouldn't regret it even if we never got together and you know why?" Tony asked, his whole body shaking with emotion and he watched as Jethro shook his head.
"Because you always treated me as a normal person. You have never tried, as most people do when in presence of a Perfect Match to hide or mask your emotions. You have never tried to use the hold you have on me to make me do what you want. Sure, I want to please you, but you never exploited it as Mrs. O'Neill and her husband did. Back then I didn't realize how well they played me, but it is so clear now. Most important of all, you have always treated me as a peer, as your equal, and not like an exotic pet that needs to be pampered and indulged and kept under control lest he hurts himself, as Madeleine Fairchild did. I wasn't in Aspen when she broke her neck because she thought skiing was too dangerous for me. I was given the job of curator of her family's book collection because she was afraid I would get in trouble if I ventured out of her mansion to look for a job. She left me money in her will because she was afraid I couldn't take care of myself 'all alone in the big, bad world', and set up a trust for me, so no one 'could take advantage of my nature'. When I heard that, my first reaction was to tell her lawyer exactly where he could shove that money, but then I thought I had earned it for what I had to bear. So I accepted it and used it to finally build myself a life worth living."
"You didn't tell me this when we talked of her before," Jethro murmured, clearly shocked by what he had heard.
"I couldn't tell you, Jethro. You would have felt even guiltier than you already did, and making you feel responsible just before I asked you if we could try and become friends would have been too much alike to what people had been doing to me. I didn't want to force your hand. Later...well, there was no reason to talk about her. I just told you because, as far as I'm concerned, I got the best deal between us," Tony completed with a smile, feeling gratified when Jethro grinned back.
"We both got the best deal, then," the older man said, before he pulled Tony closer for another kiss.
Tony responded by opening his mouth to the seeking tongue probing against his lips, and the kiss got harder, deeper. Tony could feel Jethro's arousal stir and he welcomed it. True, having sex had been the farthest idea in his mind while he had rushed home hoping to stop his lover from committing a terrible mistake, but now that the matter had been solved, Tony felt his passion escalate with every passing second.
He wanted, no needed to be close to his lover, and banish once and for all the fear that had plagued him during the past days, when he hadn't known if Jethro would remember him and what they shared.
Without saying a single word, Tony stood up and disrobed, as Jethro's looked at him with hungry eyes. Then he returned to kneel on the bed, as the older man's hand rose slowly to caress his chest.
Tony pushed it away and murmured, "Let me do everything for you." And before Gibbs was able to reply, he started pulling up the hem of his blue hospital shirt. "Raise your arms," Tony commanded gently and his lover obeyed without hesitation, helping him to get rid of the shirt and then his pants.
Once they were both naked, they both scooted up along the bed, ignoring the clothes scattered there, until they reached the pillows and Tony encouraged Gibbs to lie down. He looked down at blue eyes that were no longer deep pools of misery, but were starting to burn with his inner fire, and whispered, "Let me take care of you."
Jethro' lips curved in a lopsided grin, "It depends on what you plan to do to me…"
"Nothing you won't like, I promise," Tony teased, then bent down and kissed the tip of Jethro' nose, but not the mouth he had hopefully offered. The younger man felt a thrill course along his spine at his lover's acceptance. While Tony had never been passive in bed, and had given as much kisses and caresses as he got, this was actually the first time he had taken the lead.
"Not yet, not yet…" he teased and Gibbs let out a groan of playful frustration, which turned into a moan when Tony lowered his head and bit him in the spot where his neck joined his shoulder.
Jethro' cock swelled and hardened under his hungry stare and he too moaned with pleasure, as his own shaft twitched in response.
Then Tony continued his assault on his lover's body. First his neck, which was thoroughly kissed and licked, as he savored the delicious saltiness of his skin. Then his broad chest, which was caressed, kissed and nipped, his chest hair smoothed and combed. Tony pushed away Jethro's hand when he dedicated himself to the older man's hard, small nipples because Jethro had tried to return the sensation he loved so much. The younger man stopped his ministrations and frowned at down the older man.
"I told you to let me take care of you..." he admonished, although he was ready to bend to his lover's wishes if the older man really wanted it.
Jethro groaned aloud but obeyed, spreading his arms wide on the mattress, his fists now clenching the sheet. Tony rewarded him by tracing large, lazy circles with his fingertips over the silky skin of his pectorals, which became narrower and narrower as they approached his nipples that were then lightly pinched. Gibbs moaned aloud and his back arched as he offered himself to Tony.
"Again…" the older man breathed and Tony was more than happy to repeat his actions, aroused by how his lover was allowing himself to be at his complete mercy. Jethro's lean, hot body was covered by a thin sheen of sweat, his muscles languidly flexing and relaxing in response to his touches. His head was thrown back against the pillow; his mouth was open in pleasure. He was gorgeous beyond description and Tony had to struggle with himself. A part of him wanted to end the foreplay, and get down to business, because his cock was so hard it was painful.
Another part, instead, wanted to linger, to stretch out that moment, for it was the first time he had seen Jethro so open, so trusting, so completely and totally abandoned to his care.
Tony took several deep breaths to calm his excitement, and then he resumed his activities. He slid his palms along Jethro's sides, following the curve of his ribs, down to his abdomen and to his lower belly, where his lover's hair was ticker. Tony's fingers combed the soft, still dark curls, then he tugged at them, that little bit he knew Jethro's would find pleasurable. Gibbs' hips arched up as his still neglected cock became even harder, a clear drop of fluid appearing on its tip, and rolling down the shaft. Tony caught it with his index finger and brought it to his lips, tasting it with a wantonness he did not believe he possessed.
That was obviously the final straw for Jethro. Before Tony could understand what happened, his lover surged up, embraced him and then they both fell back on the mattress. Gibbs rolled on top of Tony, and began to rock his hips, sliding his hard erection along the younger man's.
Jethro took his lips in a long, passionate, soul searching kiss. "You taste so good…" he said freeing Tony's mouth and burying his nose into his neck, "You smell so good… So warm… so mine…"
"Yes Jethro, yours, always yours…" Tony answered, as he caressed the older man's back with his hands, "Always only yours, never another after… You know that right?"
"I always suspected, but now that I know for sure I feel so honored, and I want you so much more," Jethro kissed Tony again, then proceed to touch and caress him everywhere, his hands gentle yet possessive as he rediscovered his lover's body. And when Gibbs had his fill with his hands, he tasted and loved Tony with his mouth, nibbling and suckling all the spots that made the younger man moan aloud.
Their passion mounted, and Jethro slid off Tony as he tilted his head. "On your side," he commanded with a breathy voice and the younger man didn't lose a moment obeying. He rolled on his left side, and Jethro spooned against him, sliding his hard shaft between Tony's tightly pressed legs. In this blazing passion they had no time for stretching or condoms.
Tony pushed back and moaned, enjoying the feeling of his lover's cock nudging against his balls. Then a calloused, skilled hand wrapped around his erection and started stroking him in time with Jethro's thrusts. Tony threw back his head, baring his neck to his lover lips, and balancing himself with an arm wrapped around the older man's lower back he began to move in counterpoint to Jethro's thrusting.
It didn't take long for them to reach their breaking point. Gibbs stiffened and came with a long, low groan, spurting hot liquid against the younger man's balls. Tony followed him a few seconds later, after one more thrust into Jethro's fist had him grunting and tense, as hot pleasure rushed through his cock.
When Tony recovered his wits, he became aware of how heavy Jethro was against his back. He turned his head to give a look at his lover and smiled when he saw the older man was sound asleep, which wasn't surprising given his recent trauma and the stress caused by what had happened in MTAC.
Tony gently detangled from Jethro's sleepy embrace and stood up. He went to the bathroom to clean up, then walked back to the bed and rubbed his lover down with a wet towel. When he was done, he covered Jethro with the coverlet and put on his boxers. He had a call to make and he didn't feel like talking to the NCIS Director while naked.
Jenny picked up after just one ring, a sign she had been probably waiting not too patiently for the call and asked, "So?"
"Put him on sick leave, Director. He's gonna take a long vacation after which, I'm ready to bet, he will be back, more determined and abrasive than ever."
"Good job, Tony," Jenny answered, her relief palpable, "I'll let Abby and the others know."
The call ended, Tony put away the phone, got rid of his boxers, switched off the lights and slipped beneath the covers. He scooted until he was close to Jethro and put an arm around the older man's hip. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath filled with the comforting scent of his lover and fell asleep with a small, content smile on his face.