A/N: Hi! Say hello to this week's installment of How My Heart Behaves! Today we get to hear from everyone's favorite bushy-haired bookworm. We pick up the story a little bit before the last chapter left off. This is the longest chapter so far, so let me know what you think.
*Ron lovers beware; he's kind of an ass in this chapter.
(I do not own.)
-Hermione-
"Gin, do you mind if I talk to Hermione? Alone?" Ron asked. I watched Ginny's facial expression change rapidly from mild curiosity to outrage. I decided to cut her off before she tore Ron a new eye socket or something similarly gruesome.
"This is MY house, Ron! Anything you can say to Hermione you can say to me, too." I quickly took a deep breath as Ginny crossed her arms.
"Ginny, just give us a few minutes?" I said, making it sound more like a question. She glanced at me and I knew she wanted to erupt on Ron. He sighed impatiently from the middle of the room and I blinked back my annoyance. Ginny raised an eyebrow.
"We can finish our conversation in a little while."
I could tell that she wanted to reply to me, but she thought better of it and left the room. Her bedroom door snapped closed and the water in her bathroom turned on a moment later.
"Have a seat," I said, motioning to the recliner across from the couch. As he took his seat, I shifted on the couch and moved to cross my legs. However, when I placed my left leg on top of my right, a throbbing pain shot through my right knee. I frowned, wondering what I hit my knee on when I fainted.
"What's wrong?" Ron asked quickly. A little too eagerly, in my opinion.
"My knee is sore," I replied. His ears reddened curiously and I cleared my throat. "So what do you want, Ron? Was I not clear enough for you last night?" He blanched.
"Look, 'Mione... I just..." Ron sighed loudly, running a hand through his bright locks. It always took him a long time to collect his thoughts and this time was no different. He sighed again before continuing. "I came over here today to apologize for my, uh, behavior last night. I didn't mean what I said and I hope you can forgive me so we can be happy again."
He stuck a hand in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably. I sat in silence waiting for him to give me a sign that he was finished. I wanted to reserve judgment until I had all the facts. He pressed on, staring hard at the carpet.
"I miss having you around, 'Mione. It's not the same without you in the flat. When I sit by the fire at night and you're not there reading or writing, I just get so lonely. I know we haven't been right for a long time... I really wanna fix it." He seemed to decide something at that moment and he nodded to himself. With a deep breath, he looked up and stood from the chair.
"I know I'm going about this wrong, and you'll probably say no, but I just have to ask..." He trailed off and stood directly in front of me. Without warning, he dropped to one knee and produced a small ring box from his pocket. He opened it to reveal a thin silver ring with a modest white stone. "If you'll have me, I'd like to marry you."
"Um... What?" I asked, dumbfounded. Perhaps my brain was still fuzzy from the minutes I spent unconscious. I just stared at him blankly. It was not like me to be speechless, though Ron Weasley seemed to be great at making it happen.
"Erm... Marry me? And come back home?"
I felt like a fish out of water. My mouth was opening and closing on its own and I could not figure out how to stop it. Instantly, I remembered what had happened last night as if it were happening again right before my eyes...
...I heard the raucous cheers of the Weasley family as Ginny, the only daughter, strode through the front door.
"Way to go, Gin!"
"Only the best Chaser on the Harpies!"
"Were you even playing an opponent?"
I grinned. Tonight would be the night that I confessed to Ginny my biggest secret. It had been a very long time coming and I was so excited to get it out in the open. If I wasn't mistaken, we would both benefit from it.
I started out to the den where most of the family was gathered. Just as I spotted Ginny in the sea of ginger heads, a loud whooshing noise came from the fireplace. We all turned our attention to see Harry stumble out of the green flames. He never did adapt well to travel by floo.
Everyone was all smiles, hugging each other and genuinely enjoying their time together. I caught up with Harry and Ginny and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Her fiery hair shined in the glowing firelight. Her dark, mocha-colored eyes sparkled as she modestly described her amazing performance at the annual Christmas Day Quidditch match. Too soon, however, her brother George pulled her away from Harry and I to take shots of Firewhiskey with Ron, Bill, Charlie and Arthur. We looked on as most of the Weasley family knocked back two or three glasses each of the burning liquid, enjoying their antics. In a quiet moment, Harry managed to tear my attention away from Ginny for a few seconds.
"You really shouldn't be so obvious if you're not planning on doing anything about it," he said quietly. I barely turned my head in recognition.
"Obvious about what?"
"Ginny." I tore my eyes away from the object of my affection and trained them on Harry. He was smiling gently at me.
"I know the look on your face, Hermione. You have it bad for her."
I couldn't even begin to argue with him; I just copied his grin sheepishly.
"I'm going to tell her tonight," I mentioned eagerly. Harry's smile grew.
"I'm glad. I know you two will be very happy. But what about Ron?" My grin shifted into a grimace.
"I already told Ron that I'm tired of trying to be something I can't be for him. I just hope he understands..." I trailed off, sipping my butterbeer solemnly. Harry cleared his throat.
"Speak of the devil... Have a good evening, Hermione." I glanced at Harry to see him disappearing between Bill and Charlie. I furrowed my brows in confusion and turned back to the group milled around Ginny. However, instead of finding her in the crowd, I found myself staring directly into the eyes of Ron Weasley. I sighed internally when he opened his mouth.
"Hermione, can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, slurring his words very slightly. I wanted to refuse him. I wanted to tell him to go away and leave me to my thoughts. But I was also curious as to what he could have to say, considering we had not been a couple since the beginning of November. So, I allowed him to take my hand and lead me into the kitchen.
I glanced back to the group of Weasleys around the Firewhiskey bottle and spotted Ginny. She had an odd look on her face. When she saw me looking, she turned her attention to the bottle and quickly uncorked it for another shot.
When Ron and I entered the kitchen, I stood near the doorway in case I had to make a quick escape. I hoped he wouldn't take too long because I really needed to speak with Ginny before she got completely buggered. I looked at Ron impatiently, wondering why he hadn't started speaking yet.
"What do you need, Ron? I'd like to get back out to the party." I decided I would begin, since he seemed to be content with staring.
"I, er... I really like you, Hermione," he said. I frowned.
"We established this three years ago."
"I mean I REALLY like you. I want you to come home with me tonight." I quirked an eyebrow at him.
"What on Earth makes you think I would do that? We've been separated for almost two months, Ron. My feelings should be pretty clear at this point." I glanced back out the doorway and spotted Ginny laughing with Harry and Bill. I smiled a little.
"Hey, what's so interesting out there?" Ron asked in a hard voice. I turned back to him.
"Nothing. Are we finished?"
"No we're bloody well not finished!" Ron said, his voice raised a little. It always happened that whenever his voice raised, so did mine.
"What now?" I nearly shouted.
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY BEING A HOUSEWIFE?" he yelled, glaring at me. I heard a slight hush come over the talking outside the kitchen. "I KNOW that's why you refused to stay with me. You didn't want to keep my house!"
I was taken aback. He cut me off when I opened my mouth to speak.
"No, I'm not done! You always go on about how YOUR career is about to begin and how YOUR studies are going or whatever book YOU just read. Well what about MY laundry? What happens when we have kids? Will I have to take care of them while you gallivant about WORKING? It's MY job to work and YOURS to keep my home in line!"
I found myself completely incapable of speech. The noise level outside of the kitchen was back to normal, though I knew a few people were still listening. Ron was merely staring at me, breathing heavily.
"Hermione, I love you! But you can't keep going on about your career when you have a perfectly good job at home."
That was the single crack that shattered my speechless stupor. It felt like a quick burst of flame was unleashed throughout my entire body. Before I knew it, I was standing chest-to-chest with Ron, glaring up into his eyes.
"RONALD WEASLEY!" I yelled, effectively ending all the conversations outside the kitchen. "How DARE you tell me what I CAN and CANNOT do." He looked a little bit afraid. I took a deep breath and screamed my next statement. "JUST BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN DOES NOT MEAN I DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO WORK JUST AS HARD TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE."
"WELL MAYBE IF YOU KNEW HOW TO BE A HOMEMAKER-"
"DON'T YOU DARE EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE, RONALD!" I was the one breathing heavily now. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply for a moment. When I opened my eyes, I pointed a single finger directly into Ron's sternum, causing him to take a step back.
"You assume that even though we're not together I will be bearing your children." I poked him again; he took another step back. "You figure that I will just stop MY life in its tracks to provide you with a spotless home and three meals every day." Poke. He was backed up against the kitchen counter now. "Did you forget that I cleaned your house while you went through Auror training? Did you FORGET that I made your meals? DID YOU?"
We stared each other down for several long seconds. The silence in the Burrow was absolutely astounding. Had it been any other situation, I would have marveled in it.
Ron pushed my hand away from his chest and leaned down until his nose was almost touching mine. I could smell the liquor on his breath.
"Hermione, who will love you if I don't?" he muttered.
My eyes started to burn and I knew I had to get out before he could hurt me even more. I spun on my heel and stormed from the kitchen. Ginny happened to be approaching the door as I was leaving it, so I took hold of her arm and dragged her out with me.
"Where are we going?" she slurred as we clomped down the steps.
"Your house," I replied, picturing Ginny's front door and turning on the spot...
Ron looked like he was going to cry. He was still kneeling in front of me as I relived our earth-shattering row from the Christmas party last night. I shook my head gently to clear it and looked directly into his flat blue eyes.
"Ronald, I have one question for you." He nodded. "Which one of your brothers convinced you that a halfhearted apology combined with a marriage proposal would be enough for me to forgive you for all the horrible things that you said to me last night?"
Ron had the decency to look sheepish. However, my simple question didn't deter him.
"I didn't talk to my brothers about any of what happened."
"Why? Were you too embarrassed by your boorish behavior?"
"You KNOW how I get when I drink-"
"Don't try that excuse with me because it's worn thin by now," I growled, cutting him off. "You are a selfish, ignorant, POMPOUS man if you think that your little stunt last night has left me with any respect for you."
He was quiet for a long moment, fiddling with the ring box. He finally closed it and put it back in his pocket with a sigh.
"Is there someone else?" he asked quietly. The question surprised me, for it was not what I anticipated him to say.
"What?"
"Have you already found someone else with a throat to shove your career down? Is that why you won't marry me?" he snarled.
"Merlin, just listen to yourself, Ron! The reason I will not marry you should be pretty clear by now."
"But there's someone else. You don't do ANYTHING without a reason, Hermione." I cocked my head to the side a little and narrowed my eyes, confused.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"You wouldn't turn your back on me if there wasn't someone else."
"I would if you were an arrogant prat, which you are." He scoffed. If any of his behavior to this point was an indication, there was no way I could tell him about Ginny or anyone else.
"You know, I always thought that you liked Harry better. Is that who you left me for? You two seemed pretty close last night." He was on his feet again.
"Of course not, Ron. Harry and I were just talking." His eyes flashed dangerously and I was a little bit scared.
"Yeah? Well here's something to think of next time you're 'just talking' with Harry."
With that, Ron leaned down and grasped my hips forcefully, pushing me farther into the cushions of the couch. My hands shot quickly to his shoulders to push him away, but his mouth descended on mine in a flash. He attacked my mouth, sliding his arms around my waist and squeezing tightly. I tried in vain to push him off but he wouldn't budge. His familiar weight was suffocating.
I was going to bite his tongue the next time he forced it past my lips until I heard an unmistakable sound. It was a loud sob in a very familiar timbre. Ron tore his face from mine and jumped back a few feet while I just stared at the heartbroken woman standing in the entryway. Her hand was clamped tightly over her mouth and her tears were pouring down her face, causing my own eyes to sting.
I made to stand, but she'd already turned to flee. I sprinted to the hallway in time to see her shove the second sleeve of her jacket onto her arm and rip the front door open. My throat tightened and I couldn't breathe.
"Ginny!" I sobbed, my voice breaking.
She was already gone.
I felt Ron approach me from behind. He placed his hands on my hips again as if to comfort me. I jumped out of his arms and quickly drew my wand to point it at him.
"Don't you dare touch me," I hissed at him. He raised his hands in surrender. "You can take your things and get out of this house."
"It's really not Harry, is it?" Ron asked, his eyes flicking to the tightly shut door. And I finally focused on his eyes to see the recognition blooming. I realized then that my own face was soaked with tears. I was sure I looked like someone had just ripped my heart out and stomped on it.
That someone was me.
Ron gathered his rucksack and coat quietly.
What had Ginny done to deserve this? She didn't even remember the things I'd confessed to her last night or the beautiful things we'd done afterward. Not even the way she'd comforted me and told me she would always love me, regardless of the lies her brother tried to feed me. The only things she had to hold onto were the quiet words I said to her this morning and the kiss I poured my love into. There was no way she would believe me when I told her the truth now.
Ron took another quick glance at me and dejectedly trudged out of Ginny's front door. I didn't even look at him.
"Ginny..." I muttered, leaning against the wall and sliding down it to the floor.
How could I have allowed this to happen? I should have controlled my emotions last night and slept on the couch until Ginny was in the right state to hear the things I had to say. I should have made sure things were settled before I slept with her. I should have told Ron to leave as soon as he showed up this morning.
I should have done a lot of things. But now there was only one thing to be done.
I had to make Ginny believe that I was telling the truth. That I wanted her and only her. That I was completely in love with her from the birthmark on her shoulder to the way she said the word "butterscotch".
It had to be done. Neither of us could be happy until then.