Warnings: This chapter contains sexual content.
The Lines We Cross - Chapter Four
Sirius was unusually attentive during the Defense lesson Monday afternoon. He found himself actually raising his hand and actively participating for the first time ever in a lesson. McGonagall might have had a heart attack if he'd raised a hand to answer a question in her class.
Contrary to popular belief, Sirius was not a slacker nor was he an idiot. He'd taken lessons from some of the best tutors money could buy before he'd attended Hogwarts. He was not lazy either; he just saw no point in putting in extra effort where it wasn't needed. His marks were some of the highest in his year, and while many of the professors would tell-tales about his troublesome behavior, he defied each and every one of them to say he was not intelligent.
James kept giving him weird looks every time Sirius's hand rose in the air to answer or ask a question. Sirius just shrugged whenever he would catch his eye.
I'm just trying to make up for giving Remus a hard time by pretending I care about his subject, he reasoned with himself. He certainly was not trying to impress the man. And yet he couldn't help flushing with quiet pride whenever Remus acknowledged him.
Lily Evans also kept glaring at him whenever Remus called on him. She probably thinks I'm up to something. Stupid bitch, he thought unkindly. She had been a lot warmer with James lately which annoyed Sirius to no end. She seemed to think James turned over a new leaf and was actually allowing him to chat her up. James was over the moon about it, most especially because their "chats" no longer ended with bodily harm.
When class ended Sirius toyed with the idea of hanging around to check they were still on for tonight but decided against it. You're just helping him grade papers, don't be such a girl. He settled on giving Remus a smile before leaving the classroom and it was returned. Sirius felt his heartbeat quicken. Get a grip!
"So you want to tell me what that was all about?" James asked as they passed into the next corridor.
"Don't know what you mean, mate." He could feel James staring at him.
"That goodie two-shoes routine back there. You noticed didn't you, Peter?"
"You were acting a right swot," Peter agreed.
Sirius felt cornered but adopted his best nonchalant attitude. "It was an interesting subject. Anyway some of us are taking their school work a little more seriously this year," he sniffed and stalked away haughtily.
James frowned, Peter shrugged, and the subject was dropped.
oOo
They arrived back at the seventh year boy's dorm in Gryffindor Tower and Sirius immediately flopped down on his bed, pulling out his Transfiguration essay, and looking it over. James quickly changed and headed off to Quidditch practice, Peter going with him. James had tried to convince Sirius to come.
"You want to do homework instead of watch me practice?" he asked in disbelief. "Alright, honestly, what has gotten into you?" He came over to put a hand to Sirius's forehead.
"Did he hit his head or something?" Peter asked peering over James's shoulder. Sirius ducked away from the hand.
"I'm fine, you idiots. I need to finish this now because I won't have time after dinner." James and Peter shared a look.
"Why?"
"Got a date."
"You sly dog!" James thumped him on the back. "I didn't know you had your eye on anyone." Sirius shrugged noncommittally. "We want details!" James called as he and Peter left.
Sirius wished he hadn't said he had a date. Now he was going to have to make up some stupid story about a night he spent with some random girl. But he didn't want to admit he was meeting their professor later to grade homework. You just wish it was a date.
He huffed and tried to focus on the essay but it was not an easy task. Since his conversation with Remus on Saturday he had not been able to get the man out his mind. He kept getting distracted as he remembered the sound of his voice when he laughed or the way his hair fell into his eyes as he spoke. His mind wandered back to the dream he'd had that morning and the subsequent wank that had followed.
The man had been pervaded his thoughts so much lately it was only a matter of time before he entered his dreams. Sirius had woken from the dream thrusting insistently into his mattress and brought himself off with the memory of Remus's exquisite hands on his body.
The memory of the morning's activities was beginning to have its effect on him. He felt his arousal growing but did his best to focus on his essay. I can't wank to the man twice in one day, what sort of sick freak does that? But after several painful minutes of reading the same sentence over and over he threw the essay to the floor and leaned back on the bed. He undid the buckle to his trousers deftly and plunged his hand into his pants.
"Fuck," he muttered as he began stroking himself, running his thumb slowly over the head and spreading the moisture gathered there down his shaft. His body grew warm with pleasure as he allowed his imagination to carry him away to a place where he was consumed by thoughts of his professor.
He found release, surprisingly quickly, as he pictured the brown-haired man burning him with every touch of hand and mouth, their bodies entwined in ways Sirius had only ever dreamed about. He spilled hard into his hand as the Remus of his fantasy whispered hotly into his ear, "Sirius."
He lay panting for several minutes then cleaned himself with a flick of his wand and rolled over to reach over the side of his bed for his discarded essay. Sitting back up, he turned his attention back to Transfiguration, suddenly having a much easier time focusing.
oOo
Sirius was, thankfully, spared having to invent details of his supposed date during dinner. Peter showed up halfway through explaining how James had been hit in the head with a bludger and Pomfrey was keeping him for the evening. Evans and her group of friends had also come to watch practice and the great idiot could not help showing off. Sirius noticed Lily's friends arrived at dinner the same time as Peter, but the red-headed harpy herself was conspicuously absent.
A surreptitious glance at the head table told him Remus had not finished dinner and was still chatting with Hagrid, or perhaps just with Hagrid's elbow. Sirius waited for Peter to finish eating and suggested they take some dessert to James in the infirmary so to give Remus more time. He didn't want to show up early or seem too eager.
They arrived to find James sitting up in on one bed talking and gesturing animatedly with his hands to Lily Evans who was sitting in a chair beside the bed. She was actually smiling. It might have been because James looked utterly ridiculous with a white bandage wrapped around his head, black hair poking out at odd angles. They looked up when Sirius and Peter entered, James was grinning like a loon.
Peter deposited the sweets on a table beside the bed next to a plate of half-eaten sandwiches. "Thought you might like something sweet after your recent brush with death," Sirius explained.
"Thanks, but I think I'm covered on that front," James replied and gave Lily a wink behind his glasses. Her face turned a pretty shade of pink. Peter mimed vomiting into the bed pan and Sirius tried not to laugh.
"Mr. Pettigrew, I kicked you out half an hour ago! And Mr. Black, what are you doing here? Visiting hours are over," came the stern voice of Madam Pomfrey. The four students turned to look as the school matron advanced on them.
"Evans is here," Sirius pointed out.
"Miss Evans is Head Girl."
"Actually, I was just leaving," Lily said, standing. She jerked her thumb at James."I still need to find someone to cover his rounds this evening."
"Take these two with you please, Miss Evans," said Pomfrey shooing them away. They said their good-byes to James and left.
"Being Head Girl has its perks, huh?" Sirius taunted once they were clear of the infirmary.
Lily glared. "I've just proven I am more responsible and therefore given more privileges and respect by the staff. Unlike you."
"Oh yes, very responsible. If it weren't for you James wouldn't even be in hospital."
"It's not my fault if Potter acts like an idiot when I'm around. I don't ask him to."
"You're leading him on. Making him think he has a chance!"
"I'm not leading him on!"
"Why not? Is he not good enough for you?"
"Are you saying you want me to give him a chance?"
"Can you two keep it down?" Peter asked. He had to shout to make himself heard. Sirius wasn't even aware he and Lily had begun yelling. "Sirius, didn't you say you had a date?"
He had nearly forgotten. The sight of James and Lily getting on drove it completely from his mind. She treated James with solid dislike to the better part of the last six years; she had no right being nice to him now. James would never get over his infatuation with her if she gave him reason to believe he had a chance.
"See you later, Peter," he said and Peter nodded. Sirius took a passage to the left that he knew led away from the Defense classroom and Remus's office. He would have to double back but he didn't want Peter or Lily to see where he was heading.
oOo
Remus sat in his office sorting through the many homework assignments he received during the day's lessons. He was not sure if Sirius would actually show up. Yes, every seventeen-year-old's idea of a good time was marking papers with their professor. Remus went about his normal routine pretending he was not listening for the knock on his door he was not certain would come.
Remus was still not sure what to make of Sirius's behavior in class that day. He knew Sirius was bright but he was not one for class participation, or so he was led to believe. At first Remus thought Sirius might be making fun of him but the earnest look on his face when Remus called on him made Remus think twice. Perhaps he is just being nice? He and Remus had bonded, in a way; maybe this was his way of showing his appreciation?
Twenty minutes passed and Remus had halfheartedly marked two papers. He nearly gave up on Sirius showing up when he heard a soft knock on his door. Butterflies filled his stomach and he eyed the door apprehensively.
"Come in," he said after a moment, surprised at the nervousness prickling at the edges of his voice
Sirius poked his head around the door with a rakish smile. Remus felt his pulse quicken. "Evening, Professor. Sorry I'm late, had to make a quick stop at the infirmary."
"Is everything alright?"
"Hmmm? Oh yeah I'm fine. Just went to check on James. He got hit with a bludger during practice."
"My, was it serious?"
"Doubt it. He was hit in the head."
Remus tried not to laugh but did smile and gestured to a seat opposite him as his desk. Without asking, Sirius took a good portion of papers stacked before Remus and pulled them over to his side of the desk. "So… what am I looking at here?"
"Fifth year, curses research paper. Just let me know if you have a question. I trust you know these curses, it's basic OWL material."
They set to work and there was silence for several minutes when Sirius snorted. "Unbelievable."
"I'm sorry what's that?"
"This student. Listen to this: 'While Antonin's Practical Defense Magic describes the Cruciatus as a dark curse, and is in fact listed as one of the three Unforgivible Curses by the Ministry of Magic, this author disagrees. The Cruciatus curse, created in approximately 10 AD was used, primarily as a method of discipline for slaves who escaped and were captured. The Cruciatus was performed on slaves and, on occasion, their loved ones, to send a message to all who would resist their oppressors. While this author does not condone the use of torture on individuals (bollocks—Sirius added), the Cruciatus should not be considered dark magic. Methods of control are necessary for the good of society. Incendio, the spell for creating fire, can also be used to torture individuals; does that make it a dark curse as well?'" Sirius looked of from the essay, his handsome face contorted with a look of disgust.
Remus sighed and leveled a weary look at the boy. Dark magic really was considered a matter of opinion by some of the students; he learned that quickly and made the decision to disregard the opinions of those few. His job was to teach how to defend against dark magic and forces, not argue their philosophy. However, he did not forget who those particular students were and made a mental list of their names and strengths (and weaknesses). Constant vigilance.
"It sounds well researched," he began and Sirius glared. Remus held up his hands in defense. "I'm not saying I agree, and their opinion was, most definitely, not asked for in this assignment, but there are some students who do not see any magic as inherently dark. They're not entirely wrong."
"They're not right either!"
"Sirius, things are not always so black and white. That student argues that Incendio could also be used to torture, and possibly kill, yet it is not considered dark magic. The application of some magic, the intent behind the spell, is what is important. While I disagree with their argument that Cruciatus should not be considered dark—its sole purpose is to torture—the argument they pose is interesting, and not one we should wholly disregard."
Sirius continued to scowl. "Methods of control are necessary for the good of society," he quoted again. "It's just wrong!"
"I'm not disagreeing, Sirius. Here, let me have that essay please." Remus held out his hand to take it. Sirius hesitated but handed it over.
"Don't trust me to grade it?" he asked nastily.
"Frankly? No." Sirius looked surprised, as if he did not expect an honest answer. "This student's opinion obviously has you upset and you can't be impartial. I can't fail him just because I disagree, but rest assured, straying off topic with the color commentary is not going to earn extra points."
They continued to work but the comfortable silence from before was gone. Sirius was scowling at the parchment, his eyes fixed on one point, not even reading. Remus laid down his quill and reached out to place a hand on his forearm. Sirius looked up at the touch.
"Sirius, what has you so upset?" Sirius huffed and laid his parchment down. He did not answer but ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms over his chest. Teenagers. "I thought we agreed we could trust each other," Remus persisted. "Please tell me what's wrong."
Sirius met his eyes and Remus saw a million walls fly up but hoped the tentative friendship they were building would be enough to break through.
"It's just…that's the same sort of fucked up rhetoric my parents tried to tamp down my throat since as far back as I can remember. The same mind washing, pureblooded idiocy that's got this You-Know-Who fellow killing and torturing Muggles and Muggleborns. This is where it starts," he said pointing at the offending essay. "That idiot's probably been spoon-fed that rubbish his whole life, just like they tried to do me."
"Just like they did you brother?"
Sirius's head snapped up at that. "Who said anything about Regulus?"
"I'm sorry," Remus backpedaled, realizing he pushed too hard too quickly. "I've just noticed you two don't get on."
"Who cares about that idiot anyway?"
Sirius continued to scowl, his anger had not dissipated. If anything Remus had made it worse. Way to go, Lupin.
"Come on," Remus said suddenly, rising from his seat. He beckoned Sirius to follow him out of the office door into the empty classroom, which was dimly light by beams of moonlight filtering through the windows. Sirius followed, hands jammed in his pockets eyes downcast. With a sweeping gesture of his wand, Remus levitated the empty desks and chairs so they stacked neatly to the side.
From the back of the classroom he summoned a practice dummy Dumbledore had been able to locate, which Remus affectionately referred to as Hugo, a name he took from a particularly nasty ex-boyfriend. He levitated Hugo to the center of the classroom and turned to Sirius, who was giving him a look of utter confusion.
"You didn't seem in any fit state to help me mark papers so I thought a little dueling practice? Get out your wand," he said switching to professor mode. "Show me a Reductor Curse."
Sirius looked up his eyes narrowed, but there was an excited smile on his face. He faced the dummy and hurled a Reductor with the force of a small explosion. Remus had the good presence of mind to throw a shield up in front of Sirius and himself, and good thing he did, because bits of Hugo flew across the room like dangerous little projectiles. Sirius was whooping and laughing as, slowly, pieces of the dummy flew back into place, reforming its body.
"Keep going," Remus said. Sirius began unleashing a volley of spells and curses at Hugo. Remus watched as Sirius cast spell after spell, his body practically dancing with each twirl of his wand. He would occasionally flick a lock of dark hair out of his eyes as he cycled through a repertoire of hexes, cheeks flushed with exertion, moving with a fluid grace Remus might have envied if he were not so busy admiring.
Before he realized he was doing it, Remus threw a shield up in front of Hugo. Sirius stumbled as the force of his spell rebounded on him. Remus banished Hugo the back of the room and moved to stand in his place.
"It's not really fair to attack a target that can't defend itself, is it?" he said by way of explanation and before he could say anything further, Sirius was hurling spells at him grinning from ear to ear.
It took Remus several moments to recover the upper hand, but he eventually had Sirius on the defensive. Sirius was an excellent duelist and was most definitely putting Remus through his paces; they seemed to be evenly matched, but Remus had a few tricks up his sleeve. He threw a ball of electric blue light the size of a Quaffle at Sirius who tried to deflect it with a sweep of his wand. Instead of dissipating or veering off course, however, the light fractured into several smaller balls of light still hurtling towards their target. Sirius ducked, a look of surprise on his face, and Remus took advantage of the distraction to disarm him, his wand flying clean across the room. Remus caught it deftly.
When Sirius righted himself he glared at Remus, but he was still grinning madly. "That was cheap."
"Now, don't be a sore loser," Remus said a little breathlessly. They were both somewhat winded from the exertion of their casting. "You're quite the duelist."
"You're not too bad yourself," he said stepping closer to take his wand. "I really needed that."
"Yes, you did look like you needed to let off some steam. I used to do this all the time when I was younger. Of course I didn't have a handy partner like Hugo but I made do."
"Thanks, Remus," Sirius said, and they were standing close. When did they get so close? Dark hair had fallen into Sirius's eyes, shining silver in the moonlight. His cheeks were still a lovely shade of pink. He saw Sirius's gaze drop down to his lips, his eyes at a half mast. Remus felt himself being pulled closer, as if by some magnetic force, but had enough good sense to take a quick step back away from Sirius. It was a simple movement and yet Remus felt his whole body resist.
"Glad I could help," he said and, turning from Sirius, began levitating desks and chairs back into place. Sirius assisted after a minute and soon the classroom was back in order. Remus turned and Sirius was worrying a thread on his cuff. "You should probably get back to your dorm, it's getting late."
Sirius nodded but did not meet Remus's eyes, "Yeah, thanks, Professor." He turned to leave.
"Sirius, my office door is always open, if you ever feel like stopping by."
"I may just do that," he said with a smile and his time he looked up to meet Remus's gaze. "Goodnight, Remus."
"Goodnight"
The door closed behind Sirius and Remus dropped into a nearby chair. He sat for several minutes worrying his lower lip with his thumb and forefinger wondering, not for the first time, just what the hell he was doing.
oOo
When he closed the door to the classroom Sirius leaned against it, his eyes closed. He'd been sure Remus was going to kiss him, and he'd been equally sure he would have let him, would have kissed back. His eyes had been dark and inviting, shots of golden flakes shining bright. Fuck, he wanted Remus to kiss him. He wanted to feel that mouth on his, run his tongue along his lower lip. He wanted to bury his hands in Remus's honey-brown hair, lose himself in those eyes, hold Remus's body so tight against his own they forgot whose heartbeat was whose.
"Fuck," he muttered as he felt his arousal stir. One of the many joys of being seventeen. Sirius willed his growing erection away and began walking back to Gryffindor Tower.
It had been an uncomfortable few minutes and Sirius was actually considering having one off in the next classroom when Garrett Kelley rounded the corner. He was reading a long roll of parchment by the light of his wand. Oh, thank Merlin!
oOo
Garrett Kelley, Sirius decided, had excellent timing. Garrett had not uttered much more than "Black? What the…mmpfh," as Sirius pulled in into the nearest room, which turned out to be a supply closet, pushing him against the wall and proceeded to snog the life out of him. He fought halfheartedly, he always did, but his weak protests of "Stop…we shouldn't" quickly became moans of "More".
They didn't normally do it like this. Their mutual agreement of "I'll get you off you get me off" never involved this much kissing, or frantic need. Sirius pinned the other boy to the wall with his body and devoured his mouth, hands everywhere he could reach. Garrett moaned, "Fuck, Black" to which Sirius replied, "That's the idea".
Hands quickly undid belt buckles, buttons, and zips until they reached their goal. They stroked each other, lips locked; bodies rocking as they found a common rhythm and soon the only sound in the small space was the harsh breathing and moaning of both boys. Sirius had to bite his lip to keep from crying out "Remus" when he came. Garrett followed soon after with a long groan. They leaned against each other for support, their breathing slowly evening out to normal.
"Merlin, Black, what was that?" Garrett asked afterward with a laugh and he cast a quick lumos. Sirius cast a cleaning charm on himself and then Garrett as they made themselves decent. He spared Garrett a quick glance, bright blue eyes, shaggy blond hair—he was quite fit. That was partially the reason Sirius took him on as his "on again off again" fuck buddy.
"Oh you know, you rounded the corner and the mood struck," he said evasively. "What are you doing roaming the halls anyway? Doesn't your Arithmancy group meet now?" Sirius knew because he'd lifted Garrett's timetable from his bag the first week of classes after he'd spent a frustrating three days trying to catch him when he wasn't in lessons or studying.
"Yes and I'd be there now but Evans cornered me on the way to the library and asked me to take over Potter's rounds since the idiot's in hospital."
Sirius nodded and poked his head around the door when they were decent. A quick glance told him the hall was empty. "Well lovely running into you as always, Mr. Kelley," he said stepping into the hall.
He'd only made it a few feet when Garrett called out. "Hey Bla—Sirius, would you want to run into me again tomorrow night?"
Sirius's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Garrett usually avoided Sirius like the plague after a late night tryst while he dealt with his own personal identity crisis.
"I might happen to wander by the Prefect's bathroom this time tomorrow," was all he said and turned to head back to his dorm.