Chapter 4

Take Him for All in All

The clock read twenty minutes to four when the telephone in Chara's room rang. Chara started up, woken instantly from their uneasy doze. A beam of sunlight had snuck past the voluminous natal plum bushes that grew outside Chara's window and through a chink in the aluminum blinds to strike Chara in the face; the much-abused copy of WATCHMEN had slid from their chest and splayed open on the floor. Chara wasted some moments looking around for the cell phone they didn't own, then fumbled for the room phone's handset.

"Yeah, talk to me," Chara grunted into it.

"Chara? It's Frisk." There wasn't any mistaking the whispery voice of their friend. "I'm ready to head back over with Asriel. Dad's going to drive us. Are you still up for this?"

Chara twisted their mouth a little at Frisk's use of "Dad". I hope I can see my dad soon, they told themself, not that wisecracking skeleton who's boning Mom now. "Yeah, I'm as ready as I'm ever gonna be," they answered aloud, keeping the sour taste of their thoughts out of their voice.

Frisk heard the sourness anyway. "And, uh, don't worry about Dad—well, I guess I should say, Sans—getting on your nerves. I've instructed him to be on his best behavior around you and anyway he's gonna stay in the car while I visit with Asriel. I, well, I hope you get to liking him more eventually."

"Yeah, so do I," said Chara without enthusiasm.

"You wanna say a few words to Asriel before we leave home? I didn't want to wake him up just yet but I'm sure he won't mind. It's just that he, well, he needs a lot of naps sometimes."

"Um...uh, no. Just head over. I'll get to say as many words as I like to him soon enough."

"All right. Be there soon." The soft-spoken voice of their friend grew softer. "It'll be all right, Chara. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Chara made a dismissive sound. "Oh, I'm over that," they said.

"Are you?" Frisk asked, their voice even gentler now.

"...No, actually I'm terrified. But I'm not going back on my word, not this time." They paused for a few moments, drawing a few steadying breaths. "Frisk? How did Azzy react? When you told him I was ready to see him?"

"Ecstatic. But scared, too. Chara, I'm pretty sure that Asriel's just as anxious that he might screw this up as you are. I don't suppose that's much consolation, though."

"You're right, it's not." Chara grabbed one of their pillows and hugged it tightly to their chest, trying to imagine that it was fluffy young Asriel in their embrace and that they were succeeding in turning Asriel's tears into smiles with some joke or jest or maybe a wildly embellished tale of life on the Surface with those mythical creatures the humans.

"Chara, are you all right?" Frisk asked after a longer than usual silence.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, just...thinking. Anyway, enough chatting. Don't stand there on the phone talking to me; tell the comedian it's time to taxi you and Azzy to the mental institution."

"Your wish is to me a command, your royal highness," Frisk solemnly intoned.

"Fff—" Chara flung the pillow down and jumped to their feet. "If you ever address me like that again I'm gonna find out who your pharmacist is and bribe them to fill all your prescriptions with breath mints."

"No you won't!" Frisk's tone was infuriatingly bubbly. "That would be mean. And you're way too much of a sweetheart."

"Did you just call me sweet?" growled Chara. "Argh! Frisk, what the hell?"

"I'm trying to make you pissed off at me," explained Frisk.

"What the hell is that supposed to accomplish?"

"Cheering you up, of course! You were kinda sounding like you needed it."

"You—ugh." Chara shook their head, bemused. "I should be angry that you've got me clocked like that, you know?"

"Sure, I know. I also know you're smiling right now."

Chara tried, but failed, to prove Frisk wrong, but they couldn't erase the smile. "Frisk, just grab Azzy and haul your annoying know-it-all ass over here already, will you?"

"I love you too, Chara."

"Yeah...that's true, isn't it..." Chara sank back down to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "One of these days I might even figure out why."

"Just chalk it up to me being a lovable weirdo." Even over the phone Chara could practically hear Frisk's own smile. "See you in twenty minutes or so, Chara. Bye for now."

"Bye, Frisk." Chara carefully replaced the handset and stretched themself out on the bed. They reached for WATCHMEN but after a few moments gave up on their futile attempt to distract themself in its pages. Instead Chara lay quietly on the mattress, curled onto their side away from the window, and strove to direct all their attention to the regularity of their own breathing.

The minutes ticked by...

"Uh, hey…"

The strange voice broke into the darkness and emptiness that had engulfed Chara as they fell. It was a small voice, childish in its intonation, quavering a little as if tinged with shyness or fear.

"Can you hear me?" The voice grew louder, as if its owner were coming nearer. "Are you hurt?"

Chara groaned and opened their eyes. Faint, grey light seeped around the edges of their field of vision but otherwise the darkness scarcely lifted. Their hands moved over the surface onto which they had fallen. It was hard and flat, stone perhaps, but their groping fingers also felt loose dirt, cracks and pits, and tufts of grass or weeds. Tentatively Chara planted their hands on either side of their aching head and began to push themself upward but in an instant, with an agonized wince, they dropped themself back down to the ground: stabbing pain had shot through their left arm the moment they had begun to support their weight on it.

"Oh!" The strange voice filled with dismay. "You are hurt!" Chara heard a sniffling sound. Was the owner of the voice...crying? "Oh, no...what should I do? Maybe you shouldn't try to move. Maybe I can go get Mom, she can fix you up." Then Chara felt the lightest of touches on their shoulder.

With a sudden effort Chara pushed themself away from the touch with their one good hand, rolling partway onto their left side to face the voice. They were greeted with the sight of an enormous cavern, its full extent invisible in the shadows that surrounded them on all sides. What light there was streamed in through fissures in the craggy roof spread out an unguessable distance over their head. Ranks of stone columns, most of them wound about with climbing and creeping plants, towered over them. And two feet away from them stood a monster.

At least Chara was sure that the creatures whom they had been instructed to call "mother" and "father" would have called this diminutive being a "monster", or worse. But there was nothing particularly monstrous about this monster, whose soft brown eyes wet with tears were staring at Chara out of a long, white-furred, goat-like face framed on either side with comically large and floppy ears. Fuzzy paws stuck out from the legs of the monster's brown trousers and from the sleeves of their yellow- and green-striped pullover. Chara had intended to snarl some challenge at the interloper who had dared touch them without permission, but the impulse died the moment they saw the sadness in the monster's tear-dimmed eyes. Instead, Chara found themself moved to do something they had once thought they would never do again; the corners of their mouth twitched upward into the ghost of a smile.

At this, the monster's eyes brightened and they smiled in return, revealing the twin points of a pair of stubby fangs. They raised one of their paws in a little wave.

"Howdy," said the monster, their voice still quiet and a little shaky. "My name is Asriel. Don't be afraid. Do you have a name?"

Chara opened their mouth but for a few moments no words emerged. Their mind struggled to adapt itself to this astonishing new phenomenon, this crying goat-child-monster who wore sweaters and spoke English, and to devise some adequate explanation for it. They'd fallen a long way and landed hard; possibly they'd hit their head so badly they were now delirious? Or maybe they were unconscious still and dreaming a remarkably solid-feeling dream.

Or maybe their "father" and their "mother" had actually been right about something for once, and Chara was now dead and in Hell, and the goatish creature before them was one of Satan's minions.

For a moment Chara felt a stab of horror. They had been schooled often and schooled forcibly in the theology of damnation, and despite Chara's defiance the schooling had left its mark; Hell was, to Chara's shame, still something they secretly feared. But, as they regarded the little goat-child in their stripey jumper and studied the monster's beaming countenance and brown eyes aglow with the light of friendship, Chara's fear dwindled from a terrifying nemesis into a mere annoyance. Was this all that his ersatz parents had succeeded in teaching them? Here right in front of them was a marvel that Chara had never dreamed of, yet they were wasting time and thought on programmed-in fears of demons and devils?

And if this is Hell, thought Chara, I'll take it in a moment over Heaven. Their tentative smile grew warmer and broader.

"Hi, Asriel," they finally replied. "I'm really glad to meet you. My name is—" Then they halted, again temporarily wordless.

They had been on the point, out of sheer ingrained habit, of quoting to Asriel the name that their "mother" and "father" had taught them to call themself when asked. But that was not their name. How could a name assigned arbitrarily at birth possibly hope to be an appropriate and meaningful fit for who they were now? Not that their "parents" had accepted this reasoning, when their child had dared to bring it up. "Father", in particular, had been predictably harsh in his reaction...

They had chosen a fitting name for themself anyway, a chance discovery in a textbook on biology. They didn't know if the name had any special meaning aside from being the name of a particular genus of green algae. But they knew they liked the sound of the name on their tongue when they whispered it to themself, liked the slightly alien flavor of the name, liked how it felt neither a masculine nor a feminine name nor even a human name at all. And, most importantly, the name wasn't just another of the many things that their "mother" or their "father" had insisted on cramming into their child's head. The name was, in fact, one of the very first things they could think of as being truly their own.

"Um, you okay?" asked Asriel diffidently. "You never finished saying what your name was…"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry. Anyway, Asriel, my name is—"

"Chara?" asked a voice.

At the sound of their name Chara snapped their eyes open. Oh, no, did I doze off again? Chara asked themself. I really need to do something about my sleep schedule.

"Chara?" the voice asked once more. It was a soft, hesitant voice, not one that Chara immediately recognized, but it carried with its halting words a nagging sense of familiarity. "Sorry to, um, to wake you but, um, Frisk said it'd, um, it'd be okay." Then Chara felt the lightest of touches on their shoulder.

Chara whipped themself round to confront the owner of the voice. It was a monster with a long, white-furred, goat-like face framed on either side with comically large and floppy ears. The monster's soft brown eyes, clouded with fear and apprehension, opened wide when they saw Chara turn and face him. The monster looked straight into Chara's reddish eyes.

"Chara...is it really you?" he asked.

Chara stared. The monster who sat hunched over in the folding chair by the side of the bed, with Frisk standing at his back and resting one hand lightly on his shoulder, was far taller than Chara remembered. The softness and bloom of youth had gone from the monster's face; there was a hollowness to his cheeks and a tiredness in his eyes that suggested the enfeeblement of age or the debilitation of illness. He rocked back and forth nervously in his seat, convulsively grasping a knee in one of his paws, continually tapping a digit up and down; his other paw tugged absently at a loose strand of wool from his green-and-yellow sweater. He looks so...worn out, Chara said to themself, feeling a cold, hard knot of fear settle in their chest. But as they watched the monster and studied his face, Chara saw the beginning of a familiar glow kindled in the monster's brown eyes. Their fear lessened, and they began to feel something that was almost like hope.

"...Azzy?" Chara finally said.

Asriel let go their knee and raised their paw—how much longer his digits are now! thought Chara—in a little wave. He smiled the slightest of smiles, just baring the tips of his incisors. Longer too, Chara observed. "Howdy," Asriel said, in a small voice trembling with emotion.

Chara launched themself from the bed and grabbed both of Asriel's paws, yanking him forcibly from the chair with an astonished bleat and pulling him down to the bed with them. They wrapped their arms tightly around their friend and buried their face in his chest. "Azzy, I missed you, I missed you!" Chara cried, over and over. Tears were streaming from their eyes and soaking into Asriel's jumper but Chara took no heed. "Don't you dare leave me alone again, you big dummy, don't ever leave my sight…"

"I, um, I thought that maybe you, um, maybe you wanted me to leave you alone," whispered Asriel. Though he was striving to keep his voice level Chara could feel the monster's body shaking in their embrace, could feel how close their friend was to breaking down. "Frisk kept, um, kept telling me you weren't, um, ready to see me. I, um, I thought maybe it was, um...my fault." Slowly, with painful timidity, Asriel put their arms around their foster-sibling. Chara shivered a little as they felt the warmth of Asriel's paws resting lightly on their back. "Gosh, um, Chara, you feel so real."

"I am real, silly!" Chara squeezed Asriel's body tightly in their embrace. He's so warm and soft, still, Chara told themself in wonderment. "And it wasn't your fault, Azzy, none of it was ever your fault, it was all mine, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Asriel stared past Chara, eyes looking glassily ahead of him. "I didn't kill you?"

"What?" Chara exclaimed. "Do I look or feel like I've been killed?"

"The dreams. The voices in my head." Asriel's paws continued their ultracautious survey of Chara's back, gingerly petting them here and there as though he thought Chara might vanish any moment. "Every, um, every day, after Frisk came, um, to save me, the voices would, um, they'd, um, they'd tell me I'd, um, murdered you." Asriel's body and his voice were shaking uncontrollably now. "Every night, um, the dreams would, um, I'd be, um, I'd see you again, um, only I wasn't, um, I'd still be Flowey, um, and, um, I'd reach out for you and, um…" Asriel's voice finally broke, his faltering words turning into wrenching sobs. His head sagged against Chara's shoulder, his paws clutched at the back of Chara's shirt, and he wept.

"Azzy. Listen to me." Chara raised their head, took Asriel's head gently in both their hands, and guided his muzzle upward until his snout was an inch away from Chara's nose. "Look at me and listen. None of that happened, do you hear me? You don't have to believe those voices or those dreams any more. It wasn't real."

"It felt so real," Asriel whimpered.

"I know, Azzy, I know. My fucked-up brain's been feeding me lies like that, too. But you know what? I don't have to believe them. You don't have to believe the lies either, Azzy. Believe me. Don't I feel realer than any dream?"

Asriel let go of Chara's shirt, laying his paws tenderly on their friend's cheeks. Chara shivered again as they felt the soft pressure of Asriel's warm paw-pads on their skin. "You are real, aren't you," Asriel whispered.

"Yes," Chara replied. "And I'm gonna get out of this fucking place soon and I'm going to be with you again and together we'll fight the bullshit in our heads, and we'll win. And we'll have Mom to help us, and that gaudy clown over there, too." Chara jerked their head toward the folding chair, which Frisk had flipped around and settled into, arms folded over its back in their customary pose of carefree indolence. They responded to Chara's nod with a lopsided grin. "What do you say, Azzy? Is it a deal?"

Asriel leaned their muzzle forward a little, just enough to press his broad nose against Chara's. Asriel's eyes were still wet but they shone with a warm, friendly light. Then he threw his arms around Chara again, all reluctance blown to the winds, fervently embracing his friend, weeping again, but weeping tears of joy. "It's a deal, Chara," they cried, words tumbling freely out of them. "It really is you, I haven't lost you, I don't know what I would have done if Frisk hadn't been able to bring you back!"

"Let's not dwell on it, huh? You came here to visit, not just to water my T-shirt with your tears."

"Oh. Um. Sorry," Asriel replied, pulling away a little and looking around the room for a box of tissues. "I really am a crybaby, aren't I…"

"Hush. You can water my shirt as often and as much as you like."

Asriel accepted the wad of Kleenex that Frisk wordlessly held to him and noisily blew his long nose. "Thanks, Frisk…anyway, um, Chara, do you have anything in mind you, um, anything you want to do?"

"I'd love some decent food for a change." Chara looked over Asriel's shoulder at Frisk, who was idly slumped over the back of the chair and tapping on their phone. "Frisk, you think my keepers will let me out for a couple hours so we can go to a real eatery?"

"Oh, I'm sure they will," Frisk replied. "I think they'll insist that Dad supervise though, since he's the only one of us who qualifies as a responsible adult."

"Pfft," Chara scoffed. 'Responsible'? That joke-shop refugee? But if it means the freedom to sit down in a proper restaurant with Azzy at my side I'll put up even with him."

"Aw, Chara, you shouldn't, um, you shouldn't talk that way, um, about Sans," said Asriel. "He's been really, um, kind and patient with me, and Mom, um, well, Mom loves him a lot."

"Right, fine. I'll be nice to Sans. For you, Azzy. If it were just Frisk asking I'm not sure I'd bother."

Frisk giggled. "Chara is such an angel, aren't they, Asriel?"

"Yes," Asriel replied, draping his arms over Chara's shoulders and gazing into their eyes.

"Ugh, you're just sickening, the both of you," Chara grumbled. They gave Asriel a final hug and nose-nuzzle, then got to their feet and stretched their gangly limbs. "Okay, let's get out of this room and fetch Sans to sign for me."

"Um, one more thing," said Asriel diffidently. He scrambled to his feet and jammed a paw into his right trouser pocket. "There's something, um, I've been keeping safe. Frisk, um, gave it to me after they, um, they rescued me and brought me, um, back to the Surface. I've, um, I've been hoping all this time I'd be, um, I've been hoping a day would come when, um, when I'd be able to do this." Asriel withdrew from his pocket a gleaming metal object, jingling faintly on a fine chain, and he held it out for Chara to take. "I, um, I hope you like it."

"Is that—is that—" They seized up the silvery thing from Asriel's paw and cradled it in their palm. "It's my locket! Is it a replica? No, it's the same one, it's got to be!" They turned it over in their hand, inspecting the heart-shaped pendant. It bore some signs of hard treatment; there were patches of tarnish and scratches marring the once-pristine silver and one of the lobes of the heart bore a small dent. But on its front were the flowing letters that Chara had come to love so well, the engraved letters that read, Best Friends Forever.

Chara turned their blazing red eyes accusingly on Frisk. "You told me you'd lost this in a fight years ago!"

"I did!" Frisk protested. "But when I went back to the Underground with the hope of saving Asriel, I decided I'd try to find the locket again. I didn't think there was much of a chance but, well, you know what a lucky bastard I am." Frisk chuckled, but their expression was solemn. "I gave it to Asriel after I saved him. I had hoped…well, he was having so much trouble at first, I hoped he'd find some comfort in it. As a memento."

"I did," said Asriel. "But really, um…all the while, I've dreamed I could, um, return it. To its, um, its rightful owner."

Chara flicked the locket open. The exterior may have been scratched and dulled but, inside, the tiny enameled portraits of the young monster and his young human friend were as bright and colorful as they ever were. Chara smiled. "We both look a bit different now, don't we, Azzy?"

Asriel giggled. "I guess we could find an artisan to fix it up and redo the portraits."

"Hell no! I want this just the way it is. Tarnish, dings, kiddie portraits and all." Chara held the locket out toward Asriel, dangling it on its chain. "Azzy, will you do me the honor?"

Asriel blushed. "I'd, um, I'd love to." Chara held themself motionless as Asriel reached around their neck with tremulous paws. As the monster fumbled with the catch they accidentally brushed claws against the bare skin of Chara's neck; the human only barely suppressed an audible gasp. Meanwhile Frisk surveyed the operation from the folding chair, their placid face bearing an enigmatic smile.

"There," Asriel said at last, stepping away from his friend.

Chara reached up slender fingers to touch the locket at their throat. "Thank you, Azzy." From their chair, Frisk patted their hands together in muted applause.

"What're you smiling at?" Chara demanded.

Frisk's smile became a grin. "Chara, you've seen for yourself how much I enjoy helping couples in love."

Asriel gasped, their jaw and their eyes dropping wide open in utter shock. Chara groaned and glared at the grinning human. "Aaagh! Frisk, what is with you? Look, you've embarrassed Azzy." Asriel did indeed, look mortified, bowing his head and holding his paws over his face. "We're practically brothers, Frisk! I know you're a weirdo but you don't have to be that weird!"

"You're not actually related. What's weird about it?"

"Look—just—" Chara's ruddy cheeks grew even redder and they sputtered incoherently for a few moments before giving up. "Ugh, I'm changing the subject. To Be Continued, Frisk. I'm not forgetting this…incident."

"Whatever you say, Chara!" Frisk replied, using their cane to push their way up from their seat with an energetic bound. "Now, shall we go?"

"We shall. Lead the way. I want you between me and the entertainer at all times anyway."

"Sure thing. I'll go fetch Dad. Meet us at the front desk!" Frisk ambled to the door of Chara's room and exited in a swirl of green fabric. Chara themself, however, lingered for a minute, standing close to Asriel, who had recovered sufficiently from their discomfiture to meet Chara's inquiring glance.

"You okay, Azzy?" Chara asked.

"Um, yeah. Just, um, a little surprised." Asriel managed a sheepish smile.

"You know how many months I had to spend trapped in that court jester's head? It was a long slog, Azzy, let me tell you."

"Yeah." Asriel gave Chara a curious look. "It, um, it must have been kind of fun."

Chara perused Asriel's thoughtful face. "You know what, Azzy? You're right. It was."

"Let's go join them." Without hesitation Asriel reached for Chara's hand, interlacing his paw's digits with Chara's fingers. Chara looked sharply at their foster-brother but did not make any move to disengage themself from Asriel's grasp.

"You sure about this, Azzy?" Chara asked. "We're not kids anymore growing up among friendly monsters. We're with humans now, and humans love to be assholes." They tugged lightly on Asriel's arm. "We're gonna get weird looks for this, I'll warn you right now."

Asriel smiled. "I don't care."

"People other than Frisk really are gonna think we're a 'loving couple'."

Asriel blushed again. "Um. Well, I'm, um, I'm okay with that."

"Really!" Chara squeezed Asriel's paw. "You surprise me, Azzy. I guess you have changed. Maybe a lot."

"Um…maybe? But, um, one thing hasn't changed, Chara." Asriel started for the door, Chara following at his side. "One thing will never change."

At the door Chara paused and faced Asriel. "What's that?"

"You'll, um…Chara, I promise you, you'll always be my best friend forever."

Chara's face glowed. Their free hand reached up again to caress their locket. "Best friends forever," they affirmed. "Let's go."

Hand in paw, Chara and Asriel left the room and shut the door behind them.

FIN