Chapter 4

Trying To Get That Feeling Again

Tokiya POV

I can see in her face irritation.

And anger.

Okay, it's exactly fuming.

But the hell I care.

Yes, as all of you there guessed, I am here to be with Kirisawa Fuuko. The owner of De Mariage Etincelante. Of course, it is partly business but who cares? I like to be with her.

Okay, I'll admit it now! I yearn to be with her.

I thought it was over. I was over her. But somehow, these past few weeks, I kept on thinking about her; no matter how hard I tried to stop doing so.

So, to heed my instincts for the second time around, I joined this auction.

And she has no choice but to let me. She had signed a contract along with a group of fashion brands for the mart. So, even after six years, the notorious Kirisawa Fuuko foolishness and carelessness is still forever burning.

And here we are, in this hall, for the welcome program prepared by the organization's officers.

"We are very glad and grateful that all of you are present here today for the Asia Fashion and Art Organization annual meeting. So, with no more further ado, let's all enjoy the night, ladies and gentlemen!"

Clinking of glasses and cheerful voices filled the atrium as the social party started. I wasn't one for social gatherings, (it's mostly composed of bragging and hypocrisy anyway) so I prefer to go to the theater hall, which I learned was one with the first-rate facilities in Tokyo, as I saunter over my memorized piano pieces.

As I opened the door, lovely violin tones reached my hearing; as I tried to follow the appealing sound. I am certain an expert is playing it; the flow was smooth and has the perfect dynamics and notes. What most enthralled me was the player of the said instrument.

A woman donned in emerald green, body hugging dress, her hair down and slightly curled.

She seemed to be in her own world; devoid of any distraction or hesitation that I found myself enthralled to her music as well.

I realized she won't really notice me here.

"So, having a good time staring at me?"

I said that too soon.

Her eyebrows furrowed, the peaceful expression was replaced by a cruel, cold, heartless façade; the one she always showed me since I came back.

"Nice viewing, Mikagami-san. I sure do hope that I'll not be in war with those women."

I followed her gaze and saw two gawking women clad in gowns.

"So I think Mikagami Tokiya's absorbing, devil charm still attracted the innocent female population."

My teeth gritted at her sarcasm.

But instead on putting it on her, I grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the room, past the two women and the hundred curious gazes that followed.

I don't care of my rep this time.

"What do you think you're doing?" she struggled to be free of my grasp. Bu I'm not letting her. How will I let her go, now that I am already holding her?

We ended up in my penthouse. I noticed her angry stare—covered with a little nervousness, as I picked the champagne bottle and pulled the cork.

"Care to have a drink with me, Ms. Kirisawa?"

"I'd better mingle out with others." She said sharply. "Sumimasen."

Before I knew it, I already gripped her wrist and pulled her to my body. She was caught off guard.

"Don't' you think it's better to mingle with me?"

"Shut up, bastard." She cursed me, still fighting my strength. But I knew she would never succeed.

"Let's just talk. Just a word. Let's act as two civilized people this time—"

"Two civilized people?" she yelled at me. "First point, I only recognize one human here. Second, may I remind you that telling your girlfriend on abrupt notice that you're engaged to another woman and having your father send her money for what he calls 'sympathy' is not at all civilized."

"Fuuko, please." I lowered my voice. I just wanted a conversation. A good one. I think I need to be flexible this time.

I think she was slowly getting pliant as she suddenly stopped moving and I think, for a split second, her innocent, loving gaze for six years ago came back. But when I blinked, it was gone. It vanished.

I don't know why, but I wanted to see it once more.

Wee both sat down and remained silent for what seemed eternity. Until I found my voice.

"I know you're tired of me saying I'm sorry." I relented. "But I am. I know all my mistakes."

"Shut up." She disrupted me. "I don't wanna hear that."

Silence.

I assumed she didn't want to hurt anymore.

"So, how's life going?"

For a while, she didn't speak. But after a few seconds, she replied.

"Life's the best. I now have raised my own jewelry store with five branches and the income's more than enough."

I was happy she gave a direct, honest answer.

"How about you?" she asked me back.

"Well, my father will completely pass me the business after I get married, and I think my life's okay."

"You think?" she repeated, her expression dissatisfied. "You are not sure?"

"Yeah." He confirmed. "Maybe there is something missing in me; something I'd like to have but cannot. Something material gain won't ever give me…"

I stopped as I noticed my face is getting closer and closer to hers.

"Something that would make me complete…"

Her breath on my face.

"Something that would make me feel truly happy…"

Eyes meeting.

"Something that I had before, but I let go…"

I pulled my face even closer and my hand crept to hers. I don't know what I'm doing. Feeling a little bit lonely, I think?

The spell was broken as she pulled away, quite hurriedly so.

"No…" the word muffled her mouth as she grabbed her handbag and stood up. I followed suit.

She can't leave me like this.

"I'm sorry, I really have to go, Mikagami-san…" the panic was in her eyes as she told me that, making me feel guilty.

Had I hurt her again?

I still held her hand, but she gazed at it and slowly pulled her palm. I tried to stop her, but she was persistent. I didn't want to hurt her any longer, so I let her be.

As she came out of my room, I felt the emptiness I had succeeded to ignore before.

Fuuko POV

I can't believe I let him do that.

When he held me, all I could think of was our sweet past, enticing me to take a risk once more…

No. I had failed before. I had made a mistake.

[Flashback

"Uhm…Mi-chan? Isn't this supposed to be for eighteen years old and above age only?"

The usual smirk. "Don't tell me you're scared, monkey?"

Call me stupid and I'll fret. Call me weak and I'll erupt. But call me a cry baby; scared buff, I'd kill.

"Of course not!" I shouted at him, banging his ears.

"Oh, won't you lower your voice?" he clamped his ears. "I think I'm now deft."

"Then don't aver call me scared." I protested, stuffing the illow right on his face.

As he turned off the lights, my heart throbbed wildly against my chest.

"M-Mi-chan?"

"Yes, Fuuko?"

"A-Are…Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yes."

"You're not afraid of the consequences…?"

"Absolutely not."

"I'm nervous."

"I'll be as patient as I need to."

I sighed.

"Ow, c'mon, Kirisawa Fuuko, we'll just be watching a horror movie! Don't be such a bum!"

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating.

A bit.

Yes, the great, wonderful Fuuko Kirisawa was afraid of nothing but ghosts.

Yet cruel Mikagami Tokiya wanted to banish her fear. The harsh way.

The movie starts. My god, cold sweat droops on my body, my heart thumping fast. I waned to hold Mi-chan but I can't. That will prove I'm afraid. And I am NOT. At least that's what I tried to believe.

NO, NO.

So, even if I felt my breath hoarsen, I controlled my gasps.

Then, I heard loud peals of laughter as light engulfed the room once more.

I HATE HIM!

Instead of supporting me, he was there, laughing at me! Laughing at my fears!

"Whoa, chimp!" he choked between laughter. "I didn't know you are that frightened of ghosts!"

I felt tears brimming my eyes. This is the most embarrassing thing that happened to me in front of him.

"Shut up!" I said in a broken voice as I walked to my room, my tears falling, then shut the door tight.

I heard his chuckles even more as it slowly vanished and everything went quiet.

'No…'

'No…!'

In the dark alley, a very foul stench followed me and footsteps on my trail. I felt my heart almost escaping my chest.

'Mi-chan…help me…'

Nearer. Nearer.

'Mi-chan! Please…'

I felt the cold grip on me as I tried to scream. But I had no voice.

'Mi-chan! Help me!'

I saw the bloodied, disheveled face of my oppressor and I gasped in horror.

He had hair all over, two noses, glaring red eyes and a very huge body. He looked like he was going to not eat me, but torture me and break my every limb…

I felt the pain surge through me as my femur crushed. My tears escaped my eye sockets, and I saw red liquid from my wounds…

'Mi-chan…'

I felt like passing out.

'No …'

"Fuuko!"

The call was hollow, distant but very familiar…

"Fuuko! No!"

I felt warmth pass through me as something wet touched my parched lips.

…Then the darkness gave way to light…

…And I saw a hoard of ivory mane on me, a blue pajama top crumpled.

"Fuuko…"

Light entered my vision and I sat up.

"Fuuko!"

I felt warm, welcoming arms engulf me as warm sweat mingled with my chilling ones…

"Fuuko…"

A raspy tone.

It was only then my mind registered.

"M-Mi-chan…"

"Fuuko…"

I heard his heart racing loudly against my face as I leaned against him.

"Fuuko…I thought I lost you…"

He looked at me as if I'm the most precious gem about to break. The emotions in those eyes were so different from before. Panic, protectiveness and concern replaced the cool, composed epitome.

Relief filled me as I snuggled closer and released all my tears inside.

"M-Mi-chan…"

He lied me down but didn't let me go. His breathing became normal again as he held me tight.

"Sleep now…I'll keep you safe."

There was nothing more I needed to hear after that.

Thunder boomed and rain poured cruelly against the dry earth, but I didn't care. I was in his arms now.

[End of Flashback

No, we could never be the same again.

No matter how hard I try, we'll never be the same again.

A/N: Haha. I got the movie idea from Marmalade boy episode 10 in season 1. But the dialogues were mine and also the dream part.

Thank you for all the reviews!

I hope you'll review again. I'll update as soon as I can.

R and R!

anatagasuki