4. Reunion

I might should have given more thought to the consequences of my actions. No, there was no 'might' about it. I should have. Emotionally damaged as I was, I shouldn't be doing anything that implied long-term commitment. I loved Jacob, and I knew that he loved me. But he was also in love with me. And that was something I couldn't return. Not quite. Not yet, if ever. As much as I loved Jacob, I knew that if Edward showed up at that minute and crooked his finger, I'd go running. And Jacob's fragile heart wouldn't even slow me down.

But there was another side to it. It was very possible or even likely that I would be dead soon. Alice seemed to see death down every path. And I knew a little about the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was possible that leaving the Uley's house was exactly the wrong thing to do. Death could be lying in wait for me, right here, in this idyllic grotto. And, if I was going to die soon, I didn't want to die regretting the things I didn't do. And, while I wasn't just repaying Jake for all his wonderfulness and devotion, that was part of it. Yes, the danger of hurting him was very real, but it seemed like danger was everywhere, no matter what I did. I felt that I owed it, not just to him but to both of us, to grab this piece of happiness, to share it with him, while I could. And if I hadn't pushed Edward's voice deep, deep into some dark recess of my mind, I'm sure I would have heard him again, saying, "Yes, be happy."

When Jake got up, he gave me a little tour of the cave. It was absolutely beautiful. It was a natural cave, with gorgeous stalactites and stalagmites and colorful formations that I can't even describe, much less name. But some sections of the cave had been carved out to form a living area. The floor in that area was remarkably flat and smooth, as smooth as a stone counter top. Water from the hot spring, which had formed the cave in the first place, had been diverted to form four fountains in the living area: one in the kitchen, where the hot water welled up to fill a stone basin before flowing on to the bath and restroom. In the bathroom, water showered down from a hole near the ceiling to fill a large wading pool. The restroom was separate from the bath, and the fountain there was as convenient as the others. And finally, there was a decorative waterfall in what was obviously the den. Each of the main living areas also had air shafts that bored straight up to the side of the mountain, where large golden mirrors, far above us, reflected sunlight back down into the cave.

"Is that real gold?" I asked, looking up at one of the mirrors.

"Yeah," Jake answered. "It's a real thin layer over stone. It wouldn't be worth it to climb up there and scrape it off. Plus, it'd get you about ten years in prison. This place is like a shrine, a holy place. Legend has it that the spirits carved this cave for Outalpe, a great chief who lived three hundred years ago, one of the first spirit walkers."

"I can believe it," I said. "I've seen stranger things. And I don't see how humans could have carved this, without modern equipment."

"Well... I could do it - with the tools they had back then," said Jacob. I looked over at him incredulously, and he grinned. "You forget how strong we are, Bells. But it'd probably take me a year or so."

I wasn't sure if he was just boasting or not. I was pretty sure that a team of skilled craftsmen couldn't make something like this in less than two years—with modern equipment. On the other hand, I knew some people who could probably do it a lot quicker, even barehanded. Was it possible that, long ago, vampires and werewolves had been friends? I remembered the legend I read about a group of vampires who had befriended a group of humans – until one of the humans had accidentally nicked herself. That brought up bad memories, so dropped that train of thought.

We explored the cave some more and hiked a bit on the mountain. We didn't discuss any serious matters while we were there. We were just hanging out, like we usually did in his garage, but in a more picturesque setting. Neither of us mentioned what happened the night before, but it seemed Jake's smiles were a little deeper than before, and I wondered if mine were too. And sometimes Jake would blush, when I caught him looking at me. And I'm sure I did, when he caught me too. After a while, we packed up and headed back to town. We felt as confident as we could that the wolf patrols would have chased any vampires away from the immediate area by then. On the way back, I could tell that Jake was communicating with some of the other pack members, but he didn't seem to like what he was hearing. I asked him what was up, as soon as he could talk again, but he didn't want to talk about it. We went back to Sam's to have breakfast and shower, and of course call Alice.

"Bella!" she cried, not hiding her relief. "I'm so relieved."

"You're still worried?" I asked. I had hoped the crises had passed. "Are you still at Charlie's?"

"Yes. It was annoying that Sam's phone was out yesterday," she said. "And of course, you were stuck without a car. I was just telling Charlie about a fashion expo that I would like to take you to in New York. Why don't you come home and we can talk about it?" from the way she was talking, I realized that Charlie was nearby, and Alice had to be careful what she said. I told her I was on my way.

In the car, as Jake drove me back home, he was a little more forthcoming about what was going on. Alice wanted me to come stay at the Cullen's for a few days, while they tried to track down Victoria and her new companion. Carlisle and Esme would be back that evening, with most of the others following soon. The Cullen's were coming back! My heart leaped, while Jake's sank. And we could both see it in the face of the other. I tried to reassure him that this wouldn't change anything between us, but I couldn't get him to shake his sense of foreboding that he was going to lose me to my vampire family—one member in particular. Changing the subject from that, I let him know how proud and grateful I was that he was being so understanding.

"I don't like it one bit, Bella!" Jake said testily. "But Alice has Sam convinced that they can protect you better than we can. Plus they're giving us permission to come on their land—until this is over. We can't do the same. The tribe would never allow it.

"I can't believe I'll be an invited guest at the Cullen's." He said that last with a mixture of wonder and disgust.

I was surprised myself. "You mean we'll be there together?" I said. "But Jake, that's wonderful!"

Jake just glowered, killing my buzz. I was very disappointed in his attitude here, especially after being so proud earlier. "Jake," I said, "grow up."

"Bella!" he practically shouted, in exasperation. "Why can't I make you understand how much danger you're in?"

"I do understand how much danger I'm in," I explained, "but it's not from the Cullens. It's from Victoria. The Cullen's house is the safest place I could be."

"Aughh!" he moaned in angry frustration. "The Cullens are... Damn!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I can't tell you!" he yelled. Then more calmly, "Sam's orders, remember?"

"I thought you were starting to like Alice."

"I don't hate her, Bella. Yeah, I even do kinda like her. But I don't forget what she is."

"So. It's just about prejudice."

He glared at me like I'd struck a nerve. Then he sat quietly for a minute, and I was thinking that I was grateful for Sam's orders. Then Jake looked up, and I could see he had come to a decision. "Okay," he said, "I can't tell you what they are, but I can tell you what you are." I don't know why Sam bothered with his injunctions. Jacob always figured a way around them. Maybe it was like homework, and he was just trying to get Jacob to use his head more. I was all for that.

"Bella, you're Baba," he said without the slightest hint of humor or sarcasm. I hoped my expression gave him some idea how insane he sounded. I'd hate to have to spell it out. But Jake just went on. "Quil's folks are shepherds. They had an ewe named Baba they made a pet of. Baba the black sheep. They were real fond of her. They took special care of her. They were affectionate to her. They protected her... But one year, times were extra tough and," he made a clicking sound and a cutting motion across his throat, "bye bye Baba."

"It's not like that!"

"Don't you think Baba thought the same thing?" he asked. "Don't you think that every house pet in the world thinks it's a part of the family? They're not. But they're closer to it than you are. Super-tasty human, remember?"

"Inhuman, monster werewolf, remember?" Jake looked like I'd just slapped him.

I apologized a few minutes later, but mostly we rode the rest of the way to my house in silence. I didn't want to leave things like that, so I convinced him to come in for a while. He could brood just as well watching the game on Charlie's flat screen as he could in the car. I even used a little feminine wile and the damsel in distress bit to get him to stay. It wasn't entirely an act either. I really would feel safer with him there. I knew Alice wouldn't want him to stay too long, though. She'd probably need him to leave so that she could get a good look at my future without his interference. I think mentioning that is what finally convinced him to come in. Which was very childish of him.

Both Alice and Charlie showed visible relief when we got there. Charlie always worries when he hears about one of my many brushes with disaster. He didn't need to know about Victoria; rock slides were scary enough. We all chatted for a while—except Jake and Alice didn't say a word to each other. They didn't exactly glare at each other, but there was a tension between them that hadn't been there since the first day Alice came back to Forks. Even Charlie noticed, though he didn't say anything.

I talked to Charlie about Alice taking me to New York—with a side trip to Dartmouth. That was the cover we used, to let me spend a few days at the Cullen's. Then we left Charlie and Jake to watch the game, while Alice and I went up to my room for some girl talk. "Why can't I talk to Jake about you?" I asked, as soon as the door closed. "He's got entirely the wrong idea about you, about all of you!"

"He's also got exceptional hearing, even in his human form," Alice whispered. "And in wolf form... I don't doubt that some of our guardian's out in the woods heard you."

"Sorry," I whispered back.

"As for that 'wrong idea', depending on exactly what you mean... We've cultivated it for almost a century," she whispered in my ear, so softly that even I could barely hear it. "I'm sorry you can't tell Jacob. I know how difficult this is for you. But he can't shield his knowledge from the rest of the pack. Anything we say in front of him, the entire pack will know—and their imprints. And some of their best friends and family. And so on.

"Think about it, Bella. There are a lot of humans among the Quileute who know about us." Then she brought her mouth even closer and whispered even softer, "And if they didn't think we were disgusting monsters, a lot of them would want to become one of us—just like you do. Some of them do anyway, but they're too afraid of us to ask. I'm sorry I don't have time to tell you all the reasons that can't happen, but there are very good reasons."

"Some of what he thinks is probably wrong," she said in a more normal voice. "But parts of it are true, for most vampires. And parts are true, even for us. We probably should have told you more about... our secrets, earlier, but we didn't want to upset you. And now we need to wait until we have more privacy."

She sat back and closed her eyes for a moment. But then she winced, as if in physical pain, something I'd never seen any vampire do before. She opened her eyes and said, "I've pushed myself too hard. I can't see anything right now. Tell me what happened after I called you."

I told her about the chase and Jake's saving me. I saw a look of surprise and admiration on her face (or surprised admiration) when I told her how Jake had fought two vampires to protect me. She glanced at the door, in Jake's direction, ached her eyebrows and pursed her lips appreciatively. I fast forwarded until I caught up to the present, glossing over a few parts that I wasn't ready to talk about. Maybe fifty or sixty years later, I would be. And maybe not. Besides, I was very anxious to hear what she had been doing—and seeing.

"I still can't see you at all," she said, with a tone of frustration and worry. "Except, sometimes, I think I see you further in the future. Always a vampire." She whispered that last.

Somewhere in the distance, a wolf howled.

"That's going to be a problem," she said. "Our treaty with the Quileute forbids us from changing anyone, even a willing 'victim'. Still, I promised myself, and I promise you that I'll do it for you. If you still want it. When you turn twenty one."

"Twenty one?" I almost shouted. "I'm eighteen! That's an adult!"

Alice just laughed her musical, infuriating laugh. "Sorry, Bella," she said. "I'm old and set in my ways. To me, well, to all of us Cullens, 'adult human' means over twenty one. Do you know why your government lowered the voting age to eighteen, back in nineteen seventy? It didn't want to give up it's child soldiers, but it also didn't want to admit that it was sending children into combat. So it simply redefined 'child'. Problem solved. But Bella, eighteen year olds don't have a good concept of long-term consequences. That's what makes them such good soldiers; twenty one year olds are much too cautious to make good cannon fodder. But that's also what makes them children. Ironic, isn't it?"

I wanted to argue with her more, but she just waved me off and continued: "Anyway, that was pre-Victoria. Now, I'd be trying to talk the Quileute into making an exception, or simply making an end run around the treaty—except, I don't see it working." She paused for a moment to let that sink in. "I see Billy Black and the other elders reluctantly agreeing. And then I see funerals. Lots of funerals."

My chest got tight, and chills ran through my body. "What else do you see, Alice." I whispered. I wasn't afraid that the wolves would hear me. I was just afraid to hear the answer.

Alice looked at me with her beautiful ocher eyes, and she looked sad. Sadder than I had ever seen her. "Mostly, that's it," she said. "funerals, and more funerals. I can't see you, so I've been concentrating on Charlie. Sometimes it's his funeral. Other times he's attending funerals. And I see tombstones: Cullen, Black, Uley, Swan."

"You think that I would become... a killer?" I asked sadly. It was one of my greatest fears, a recurring nightmare that didn't limit itself to when I was asleep. I had dreamed or thought of it often, ever since James bit me and started me thinking seriously about joining the Cullens in immortality.

"Maybe," Alice answered after an uncommonly long pause, and her voice sounded as sad as my own. "But I think it's more likely that changing you would somehow trigger a chain of events that will cause people to die – not that you will necessarily kill them yourself. I had my first vision of danger right before Victoria's attack. But it wasn't centered on you; it was a danger to my family and very vague. I just saw us fleeing, moving away from Forks in a haste. I wasn't too worried about it. I get visions like that every once in a while; they usually just mean that some human is getting suspicious, and we need to move on. That's why I left you yesterday. I needed to be by myself to see as clearly as possible."

"I thought you were safe," she added apologetically. I tried to wave that off, but she insisted on explaining herself. "No. I was sure you were safe! Victoria was far away and headed in the opposite direction. And I was certain that I could get back in time to protect you, if she did turn around. Victoria's no match for me, one on one, and too big a coward to face me alone. I just had no idea that she had a companion - until she made the decision to use him in her attack. I still don't see how she kept him from me for so long."

She shook her head as if to clear it. "As soon as I saw him, though, I realized my mistake. I could still have made it back to the house ahead of her, but – you have to believe me Bella – if I had done that, we would both be dead."

"I know." I whispered. I've never had any reason to doubt Alice.

She hugged me fiercely then—though carefully—and we held each other for several long moments before Alice pulled away.

"Anyway," she said, "now, things are worse. Since that fight at Knife Point, the danger has become much greater, to all of us."

"But why?" I asked. "What changed?"

"I can't be certain, but Carlisle has a theory, and so do I. Several things changed there, and all of them for the worse. The first change, what I think made the biggest difference, is the injury Jacob inflicted on Riley. That's the blonde's name; I saw her call him that – tomorrow, I think, or maybe the next day. Anyway, an injury like that can make an opponent much more dangerous. First, it teaches him a proper respect for his foes. He won't underestimate a werewolf again. And second, it can make him very dedicated to revenge. That kind of dedication can help one focus. It can make a newborn fight like a veteran. Riley is almost as dedicated now as Victoria is. Very petty, if you ask me. He did attack Jacob, after all. But I'm afraid our kind is often like that."

She sighed and continued. "Carlisle thinks that the bigger change is how much Victoria learned about the werewolves. Up to now, she's been operating under some major misconceptions about them. Carlisle made some discreet inquiries about her and James and Laurent, and he's managed to learn a little more about them. It seems James collected a bounty from the Volturi about twenty years ago, on a Siberian werewolf." I blanched, but Alice shook her head. "Old world werewolves, or true werewolves, are very different from the Quileute. They're only truly sapient in their human forms. When they turn into wolves, they're totally wild—much like we are as newborns, only more so. And they never grow out of it. They could never cooperate the way Jacob and his friends did on the highway. And no human could ever be safe around them, except possibly their mates."

"Now, Victoria knows that she is up against something much more intelligent – and much more dangerous. Our biggest fear is..." She stopped mid-sentence and looked around. "Anyway, things are worse. That idea of taking you to New York? That was a real plan. But then I saw Charlie's funeral, so clearly I could see the stitches in the suit he was wearing. Then I saw Jacob's." I gave a little choking squeak at the first prediction, and gasped at the second. Alice shared a sad and knowing look with me before she continued: "Apparently, I can see their bodies, once they become inanimate objects. And his father isn't a werewolf; I could see Billy standing on crutches to place a small wolf figurine on his son's chest. His angry eyes seemed to look right at me. Then I saw Quil's funeral, then Embry's, Sam's and Emily's. Yours was the last, still so clear that I recognized the dress as a Perrine Bruyere original. One I would have bought for you on our trip to New York."

"What are we going to do, Alice?" I was so frightened I didn't even thank her, or scold her, for her aborted plans to spend decadent amounts of money on me.

"The best plan I can see is for you to come stay with the family for a while. The whole family needs to come back and nip this thing in the bud, before it gets out of hand."

"The whole family?" I asked. There was an embarrassing expectation in my voice. I tried not to let it show, not to overemphasize the word 'whole', as in: "You mean every single one of you, even Edward?" And I know I failed miserably. My shameful excitement clearly showed, but at least it was tempered by a healthy dose of fear and guilt.

Alice frowned. "I was trying to reach Edward on his cell yesterday, while I was looking ahead, before things got so crazy. Since then, I've been busy—trying to see what I could, negotiating with the Quileute, helping make travel arrangements for the family, and trying to stay safe myself."

I winced in embarrassment, but Alice smiled tolerantly and continued: "Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett will all be here at 5:20. Jasper will get here tomorrow at two. You need to get packed—mostly clothes. I don't know how long you'll be staying with us, but you don't need to worry about toiletries and the like. We keep the house well stocked with things we never use, in case someone visits or we have to let a repairman into the house. Rosalie and Emmett will go grocery shopping this evening."

We continued talking, as I picked out outfits to bring. Alice kept putting things back and picking better outfits for me. That was Alice, bossy but efficient. It was nice having her around, despite the circumstances. Jacob headed home, reluctantly, and Alice and I headed to her house. I was practically bouncing with anticipation, especially of seeing Carlisle and Esme again, in spite of my worry. But I also had a thousand questions that could barely wait until we got in the car. I started to hammer her with them as soon as we closed our doors, but Alice silenced me with a glance. I guess one of the Pack could still hear us.

I tried again as soon as we were on the road. "Alice," I whispered, "you started to say something about your biggest fear. What's your biggest fear?"

She was quiet for a few seconds and looked around a bit before answering. Surely she didn't think anyone could be eavesdropping here? We were driving eighty five miles an hour! "My biggest fear," she said softly, "is that Victoria will decide to go to the Volturi. They do not tolerate threats to their power. They've hunted werewolves, true werewolves, to—or at least near—extinction. A race of humans who can go head to head with a vampire—or two? No. They would not tolerate that. They would wipe the Quileute out—to the last cub and papoose."

I felt the blood drain from my face. I remembered Edward's words from last year: You don't provoke the Volturi, unless you want to die. I thought of Jacob and Billy, Quil and Sam and Emily and Rachel and... so many others. Most of my best friends—no, more than that—most of my family were Quileute. I felt sick. I barely hung on to consciousness and sanity. Dumbly, I whispered, "They don't have cubs or papooses. They have children and babies."

"I know," she said, softly. "I didn't mean to offend."

"Let's go see Carlisle and Esme," she added. "They'll know what to do."

I didn't go bounding into Carlisle's and Esme's arms the way I had imagined an hour or so earlier. I did hug them, but they were somber tearful hugs, like greeting old friends at a funeral. Alice filled them in, using that fast, muttering whisper I don't think any human could follow. Then we all went into their den to talk. Esme set down some appetizers and a glass of wine for me. The Cullens thought of twenty one as adult, but they had a very European attitude towards the drinking age. But I couldn't drink or eat anything anyway. I was afraid it wouldn't stay down.

Carlisle led the discussion. "Bella, you need to be strong now. Victoria has not contacted the Volturi yet, nor has Alice seen her do so in the near future. It's only one possible course for her. But we need to avoid that possibility at all cost."

Alice and Esme nodded in agreement, but Emmett shrugged, and Rosalie frowned but didn't say anything. There were clearly some costs that Emmett and Rosalie would not pay to protect the Quileute. I tried to ignore that. I needed to be grateful for what I was getting. The Cullens were going out on a limb here, when most people would have just walked away. Your adopted son's ex-girlfriend and your enemies, who you have an uneasy truce with, are in trouble? A lot of people would just say, 'who cares?' Even Rosalie was doing more than most people would. Why couldn't Jacob see how good the Cullens were?

They all seemed to be waiting for me to say something. So I asked, "Why? Why hasn't she done that? Wouldn't that make sense, cut my protectors in half?"

Carlisle nodded. "That would make sense to you and me. But thankfully, I don't think Victoria sees it that way. You know how reluctant some people are to go to the police? Well, the Volturi are our police, in a way."

"Yeah," said Emmettt, "but our police make the Gestapo and the KGB look like Amnesty International."

Everyone rolled their eyes at Emmett, but then Carlisle shrugged as if to say that he wasn't that far off the mark. "Also, remember that, while you are her main target, hurting you is not her main goal. Hurting us, and especially Edward, is. By her way of thinking, killing Edward's rival would be doing him a favor, and killing our enemies would be doing us one. She will be very reluctant to 'help' us get rid of the Quileute. Fortunately, even Tanya's coven believes that our treaty with the Quileute is nothing more to us than an inconvenient point of honor. Even the Quileute themselves believe that. And they cannot learn otherwise now."

"It is absolutely imperative the Quileute not be seen as our allies. If Victoria realizes that she's up against both of us, then her surest, most logical course is to call the Volturi, to cut us in half. I'm afraid I'll have to cancel the concessions Alice has made in the past few weeks. It is vitally important, now more than ever, that no one outside our family know that we even care whether the Quileute live or die."

Alice groaned. "I've been so stupid lately. I'm not used to being blind. Ugh, I hate werewolves." Then she looked over at me. "I mean... I hate being blind."

"No, Alice," said Esme. "You need to hate them right now, or at least dislike them. We all do. Too many of our kind can see through subterfuge. Our animosity needs to be real. Though, of course, we can't let ourselves hate them so much that we would really want to see them killed. It helps that they genuinely hate us. And it will help even more that Edward's rivalry with Jacob is very real, no need to fake anything there."

"What!?" I yelped in surprise. "But, but, but Edward left! He doesn't care..."

"Of course he does, dear." Esme had her hand on my shoulder. I hadn't even seen her move. But then, I don't think I would have seen an elephant walk through the room right then.

"Do you have any idea," said Alice, "how hard it was to keep him from getting on the next plane, three weeks ago, when he first heard about Victoria—and the werewolves? He would have come, no matter what I said, if he hadn't heard the tone in your voice, when you talked about Jacob. And I still had to promise to move in with you to keep him away. He'll be in your room at two thirty seven tomorrow morning. Oops, make that two forty three; you're going to lock your window. I can't say I blame you."

I didn't understand what she was saying. Heard the tone in my voice? Three weeks ago? When had Edward heard my voice three weeks ago?

Is that my brother on the phone? No, it's Carlisle. When had Alice ever been wrong about who was on the phone, unless it was a werewolf?

And they were all perfect mimics.

"But, but," I stammered again, like a broken record, "he left. He doesn't want me. He doesn't love me!"

"Of course he loves you," said Esme. "And of course he wants you. There's only one thing in this world that Edward wants more than he wants you, and that's for you to be happy."

I kept seeing the same things: you as a vampire or you dead.

None of us is really happy as a vampire.

He was just trying to do the right thing.

Their voices seemed to swirl around me. I wasn't even sure if I was hearing what they were telling me now, or just hearing voices in my head, repeating the arguments they had made a thousand times before. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't stand it! For once, my mind and my heart were in perfect agreement. They'd had enough!

I passed out.