Author's Note:

Hi everyone!
I'm back again with a new chapte- the second this week (even if the first was for another story)! :D
This one is dedicated to all who should be doing something very different right now, like doing their homework (just like me), learning for the exam tomorrow (me), preparing a presentation (again me),... :) I'm glad you have decided to read this instead (though of course I don't want to keep you from learning ;P).
This chapter is from Merlin's POV, with a bit of Freya (in younger version), because I just seem to like her as a child. Though this version of her is 12 and Merlin's 19, so if you want you can imagine some kind of romance when they're older. 7 years isn't a huge difference. Also I know that Freya seems OOC and strict here, but she's just worried.
As always, a huge thank you for all the alerts, favs and reviews! You are all great, seriously! :)
Now, have fun and please R&R... :D

Disclaimer: I don't own. It's much more interesting to read the spoilers and wait for the next episode of Merlin on saturday. Even though I can't wait... :)

Chapter 4: Prattish Problems

Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot was a prat.
An arrogant, overbearing, pompous prat with an ego almost as big as his country.

And Merlin didn't know what to do with him.

Of course letting the Prince go wasn't an option. The warlock had enough experience with Uther's 'fair' trials to spit on them. And curse. And spit again. But neither could he kill Pendragon or simply leave him to rod in that cave. They would need it for the animals in winter.

Not to mention the hunt Uther would arrange. Their hiding place wasn't the best or safest, despite all spells Merlin had cast to ensure their un-traceability.
It was hard enough to hide an entire village that big, most sorcerers would even call it impossible, and none of his magic could elude someone searching directly for long.

He was stuck in a damn predicament. If he set the Prince free, they would be found and killed after a pretended trial. If he didn't, they would still be found and killed, just without hesitance.

Merlin sighed and massaged his temples, feeling the growing headache. He was exhausted from the spells necessary to save that girl, annoyed and desperately in need of a good night's sleep and some mor time to think. Right now he couldn't think clear enough to pass a decision that was this important.

And whatever decision he made would ultimately doom his camp. The Prince's promise of a death in the flames was too real to ignore.

A sudden pain in his hands interrupted the young warlock's train of thought and he glanced down, startled, to find blood on his palms. As he stretched them, small half-moon formed circles became clear where his nails had dug in the pale skin. A small drop of blood formed and ran down his fingers, lingering at their tip for a moment before it fell and splayed on the dry brown leefs.

Soon winter would arrive and freeze everything to turn the loud moved forest into a cold and still scenery. The snow always glimmered and glowed in the light like millions of diamonds, ready to be picked up by anyone who just happened to come by.

He would probably not live to see this year's winter.

The thought hit Merlin with the power of a galloping horse, throwing him off-guard and gasping, his foggy mind suddenly very clear.

He had to return with the Prince to Camelot before Uther could kill any more innocents. There he could pretend to threaten the Prince - Uther surely wouldn't be surprised by the "You killed my family, now watch your son die"- speech – which would of course be thwarted and he arrested. Naturally that meant that Merlin would be killed just as Pendragon had said, but that way he could at least save the camp. Uther would hopefully be too focused on 'eliminating the threat' to notice that he wasn't the only druid, and even if the King did notice Merlin could still boast how he had managed to 'confuse the Prince and kidnap him' all by himself. It was a huge sacrifice, but one life was better than a hundred.

He had never before thought about death.

Of course Merlin knew he had to die one day. He wasn't stupid. With his style of life it would be sooner rather than later. Every time he rescued someone, the warlock planned for the case that he didn't make it.
But now the date suddenly had come so close. It was very possible that he might not see the next week. And all of a sudden Merlin realized something through the shock.

He didn't want to die.
He was too young and, however petty or cliché that sounded, it was just not right.

He wanted to live his life to the last second.

He wanted to travel the world and see more than just Camelot.

He wanted to get a proper grip on his magic to use its full power.

He wanted to fall in love, live through a heartbreak and find new hope.

He wanted to make things right, make magic legal and respected once again.

But right now most of all he wanted to curl up into a tight ball, hide and never come out again.

He wanted- needed- his Mom, anyone, to console him and tell him that everything was going to be OK.
It was so bloody damn unfair.

"But life is never fair" the young warlock reminded himself quietly. "It is like a hard, cold beast. And still we cling to it like a savior."

"Emrys?"

The voice sounded very small, but still Merlin smiled slightly as he turned around to greet the small girl.

"Freya. What is it?"

Freya nervously tucked her dark hair behind her ear and stared at him with the sweet innocense of a twelve-year-old. "Iseldir said you needed help. Are you hurt?"

Yes, he was.
"No. But I know someone who is."

Freya eyed him warily, not finding any obvious wounds or injuries, before she sat down beside him. "Who?"

Merlin suppressed a sigh, knowing that Freya was still reading his body language. The girl was too smart for her age, but that was also why he had grown so fond of her. She was the second person of two people that knew Merlin's true name and face. Plus she made for a pretty great healer.

"Do you still remember how James told everyone that he would get revenge on Camelot?"

Freya nodded. "You were very angry."

"Yes" the warlock said softly, remembering the day. They helped others. Revenge would only destroy everything and lead to even more pain. Just like it did now. "James has kidnapped the Prince of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon. He's in the Red Cave and wounded. As far as I could tell a cut to the left side and a slight concussion."

The mention of the Prince Fraye had perqued up and sat straight now, staring over the trees unseeing. She too had lost her family to Uther's hatred.

A bird began to sing, covering the uncomfortable silence. It was why Merlin liked this place so much- on the top of the hill, he could sit right at the cliff and look over the druid camp and surrounding forest. Only his tent stood up here and only he, Freya and Iseldir ever came to this place.

After a long pause, Freya finally looked up. "Is he dangerous?"

"I will block him with a spell so he can't move before you enter. It will give you enough time and the chance to work on him without fear that he might attack."

Again she considered the new information. "And what are you going to do?"

Merlin feigned ignorance. "Me? I will stand guard by the entrance until you have finished."

Now the girl looked up and straight into his eyes, finding them easily as he had pulled the hood a little back while massaging his temples. Her blue eyes were hard and questioning, assessing the situation. "That's not what I meant and you know it isn't."

Merlin sighed and her eyes grew softer, betraying more of the child she was. "I won't heal him if it will hurt you."

The warlock smiled quickly at the open loyalty and ruffled her hair. "Healing him won't hurt me or anyone else. He shouldn't have been kidnapped in the first place."

He looked at her, taking in the pale skin and firmly set mouth. Why did she have to be so clever? "Why doesn't James just for once in his life think before running into the next problem head first?"

"He runs in fists first" Freya corrected lightly "because he's stupid."

Merlin snorted and she flashed him a grin, almost instantly returning to her stern expression. "What are you going to do?"

Merlin looked down, searching for the right words. "I don't know" he confessed finally, finding nothing better to say. "I don't want anyone to get hurt."

She accepted the explanation with a nod. "You will sacrifice yourself."

When he didn't deny it, Freya turned fully towards him to give him the complete force of her look. "People don't want you to get hurt either."

"Not everyone cares as much as you do."

It was true; even if they celebrated him like a hero he was cold and inapproachable. Someone to be respected, not worried about. "And I don't plan to just run in and throw my life away" said Merlin. Of course it was exactly what he would have to do.

Freya didn't look like she believed a word.

"Look, we're going to find a better solution. Together. But it won't help if the Prince gets an ifection and dies first."

"You promise that you won't do anything rash before we have talked?"

"Promise" Merlin said relieved. There was another short silence. By now the bird had stopped singing and the sun was setting, covering the whole woods in red and gold.

Finally, Freya nodded. "I will do it. But only tomorrow, after we've both gotten a good night's sleep and the light is better."

Merlin gave her his first true grin that day as he watched the girl getting up. Sometimes he felt like she was his mother and he the twelve-year-old.

"Thank you."

Freya paused again, already half hidden in the shadows of the trees, and turned a last time to give him a sad smile. "You're welcome."

With that she left Merlin alone on his lookout, staring across the blood red forest.

Thoughts? Critic? Wishs for the plot? Good things?...

I'm happy about every answer I get to make this even better :).

Review Responses:

Guest: Thanks :). I'm glad the rewrites have done more than stealing my time... xD

LadyInRed: Thank you for your review and the correction of 'Master of Thieves'... I've already changed it :). I've once read a story with Merlin as a druid leader and I just love him with authority... that's also what I like about dark!Merlin. Though I prefer him good and with authority ;D.

Again, if anyone wants to write about Merlin season 5, feel free to write me... I'd love to answer and talk a bit :). I've seen all five episodes so far.
Now, reviews? :D