Author's note-
Hektols – Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate it. The needle thing confuses me too, how Naruto can bite his thumb when summoning and take senbon without complain. But I saw in two episodes so far where he runs away from Tsunade when needles are involved and how he says he hates them. Any ideas where I should take the story? Any pairing suggestions? I have no idea, I'm just writing this story on a whim haha.
Night had fallen-
"Where the hell is he?! I'M GONNA KILL THAT KID WHEN I FIND HIM!" Kushina ranted on and on, her hair growing wilder by the second. Minato laughed nervously, and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm sure that Menma will be here any second! Please, take it easy and relax, it's not like him to be late like this so I'm sure he has a good explanation." Minato desperately hoped this to be true. It wasn't like Menma to be rebellious or have an attitude. Kushina had beat that out of him the last time he had tried, and ended up in the hospital for several days.
"He better be, or pain will have a whole new meaning when he gets back."
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Panting, Naruto crouched inside of an empty dumpster in a secluded area. He frantically hoped that Tsunade wasn't after him, in his own world she had refused to give up and had finally caught him, stabbing him with a needle from hell itself. Maybe this Tsunade will be more lenient! After all, aren't these people supposed to be polar opposites or something? Aw dammit! I forgot that Madara or whoever the hell that guy in the mask was "fixed" it or whatever! Knowing he was in for a tough time, he lay down trying to relax.
Meanwhile, Tsunade had ordered Shizune to find and capture Naruto. It was so strange to her, as Naruto had never complained about such a strange thing before. It didn't matter though, Naruto would get that vaccine whether he liked it or not. "Go! Find Menma and get him to the hokage!" The assembled special-medic forces nodded, "Yes Ma'am!" They dashed off, in search of the needle-phobic blonde.
Naruto still remembered the last time such a large deal was made just because he didn't want a shot. Leave it to Granny Tsunade to make such a big fuss over nothing he grumbled internally. It wasn't like it would be the end of the world if he didn't get a virus. So what if he got sick? The fox inside him helped him heal at incredible speeds. At the worst, he'd be stuck in the hospital, or worse, tied down like when he had escaped multiple times. Thinking back, he seriously hoped Tsunade wouldn't send his friends to capture him again. Med-shinobi were no big deal, they just fired off needles, but his friends could probably capture him with ease since he couldn't hurt them. There was only so long he could evade them, what with Shino's bugs (Who still hadn't forgiven him for trying to kill them all during Madara's pre-fix world phases in which he was a bug-killing maniac.) and Kiba's sense of smell.
He was just starting to doze off in a cramped position, when he heard footsteps outside of his dinky tin box. "Quick! We must find Menma before it's too late-Lady hokage will have our asses if we can't even catch a teen kid!" Naruto heard the special task forces marching off, and he sighed in relief. That was until the lid swung open. "AHA! All units report! The subject has been found! Repeat, the subject has been found! Subject will now be captu-URK!" Naruto kicked the man in the chin, knocking him up into the air. "Shadow clone jutsu!" More Naruto's appeared and they hit the poor man up in succession, "NAR-U-TO! UZAMAKI BARRAGE!" With the grand finale, the final Naruto slammed the man into the ground.
He bolted away, knowing what awaited him if he was caught. First, the dreaded shot, then a lecturing for being such a crybaby over something as petty as this. He was careful to avoid the center of the village, remembering the 8-trigram trap that Tsunade had nearly captured him with before. He decided to hide in the hospital, as there was no Sasuke to betray him and kick him out to Tsunade's mercy this time.
Making a few more shadow clones to create a diversion for his pursuers, Naruto made a bee line for the hospital. Hopping from roof to roof took time, as he had to frequently hide in chimneys and other hiding places whenever he heard a scrape or footsteps, any suspicious sounds.
As he was perched on a wooden pole, he suddenly heard a person trampling the ground, shaking it beneath his feet. That strength – It's incredible! It could only be- Oh NO!
"NarrruUUTTOOO!" Sakura leapt up into the air and punched the ground, where Naruto's head had been a second earlier. The ground rippled and created a massive crater where Sakura's fist had landed, cracks spidering from the middle. "Leave it to you, you idiot! Only a knucklehead like you could turn such a simple thing into such a mess! Now, I'm going to take you to Tsunade, and you're going to get that vaccine, and not make a fuss right? RIGHT?" Naruto turned tail and sprinted, but Sakura blocked his path. "CHAAAA!" She slammed her fist into the ground again, causing a shock wave to slam Naruto into the air. POOF!
"What, a shadow clone? DAMMIT NARUTO!"
Naruto suddenly had an intake of knowledge, signifying his clone had met an unfortunate end. He winced as he saw what Sakura would have done to him had it not been a clone. So now Tsunade had sent his friends after him. Typical, now the only thing unorthodox about this world were Sakura's and Naruto's parents. Luckily, he had lots more shadow clones, he knew the chances of them finding the real him were slim. Why does she have to do this? She says I'm the one making a big deal, but a big shot medical ninja like her should be able to cook up something as an alternative to a needle! Hmmph, this is her fault, not mi-"OOOF!"
Naruto slammed into a figure that he had not seen due to his angry thinking. "HELLO MENMA! NOW WE SHALL HAVE A DUEL TO SEE OUR YOUTHFULLNESS, AND I HAVE THE HOKAGE's PERMISSION! READY YOURSELF AND LET US HAVE A FIERY BATTLE OF YOUTH!" Rock Lee stood there, a confident smile on his face. "YES! The handsome green devil of the leaf village will take on the task!"
"Ehehe, Lee, hold on a sec c'mon! Please don't do this! I can explain!" Naruto was backing up, frantically trying to find an escape route from the green ball of energy in front of him. "LEAF HURRICANE!" Lee slammed Naruto with one powerful kick after another, prepared to launch all his youthfulness to the max. "Guy Sensei, I will make you proud!" POOF!
"…A shadow clone? NOOOOO now who will I prove my youth to?"
"AUGH!" Naruto was receiving multitudes of pain in the form of messages from his killed clones. Tenten, with her seemingly endless supply of weapons had decimated his group of clones. Neji had wasted his chakra using his 8-trigram 64-palm to capture the Naruto clone. Sai had wrapped him in super beast scroll snakes, and had gotten the same result. All around him, he was seeing images of his friends and med-ninjas taking him down only to see it was another clone.
He finally reached the hospital, and hid in one of the many rooms. "Hehe, there's no way they'll find me now! Sasuke isn't here to pull a dick move on me this time. He's probably getting another girlfriend right now! I'll go talk to him after I escape."
"Now, that first part is probably true, but the second part, Menma, is not."
Naruto slowly turned around. "Sh-sh-shizune?" Naruto sputtered weakly, "Haha umm, hi there! I'm just here to you know, check on the patients! Bye!" Naruto sped off and ran from room to room with Shizune hot on his tail. "Get back here Menma! You're getting this shot even if it kills me!"
"Whyyyyy? WHY is everyone out to get me? Can't I just get sick and not have to take the shot?" Suddenly, he slammed into someone, and fell onto his butt. Looking up slowly, he realized it was…Tsunade. "H-hey Grandma Tsunade! Hehe, guess you finally got me huh? Maybe we can talk this out?" He gulped, seeing the sadistic smile on her face. "Calling me Granny still, huh Menma? Well, I guess you're so lucky I'm going to give every vaccine ever made for every disease you could possibly get! You're welcome!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
An hour later, Naruto was in the hospital, covered in bandages from the dozens of pinpricks he'd received. He felt like a human pincushion. "Now, Menma, as punishment for this ridiculous behavior, I've decided you're going to take nothing but D-ranked missions for a month! How's that sound?"
Oh God, why?