Thanks for the reviews!! I wihs I had time to say more but I gotta jet...lol. But thanks so much and I swear I will update soon!! :)

in·fat·u·a·tion in fàchoo áysh'n- 1. an intense but short-lived and irrational passion for somebody or something.

Usually this applies to a young naïve person that has this thing for an older person. Someone who they desire to be with. Someone who they idealize and fantasize over. We've all had our infatuations and we know how good they can feel and how far they can go. So I'm not sure if the fact that these infatuations are short lived is a good thing or a bad thing.

'Purely sensual love is never true or lasting, for which reason first love is, as a rule, but a passing and fleeting feeling.'

-Richard Von Krafft-Ebing

For a split second when she woke up, she didn't know where she was. Then she thought it was all a dream. But once the shock faded and reality set it, she smiled the first true smile in a long time. The feeling of being back home with her brother was more than enough to send her over to moon but also the chance to go see her father again. That might be a bitter sweet feeling but she felt angry and guilty for not forcing her mother to let her come seem him sooner. To Josie it just wasn't right to not see her father's grave. There were not fights or bitter feelings between them when he passed so she had no reason to not go see him, except her mother.

Josie blamed her for everything. Everything that had ever gone wrong, she could somehow pin it on her mother. It might sound rude and unfair, maybe even a little selfish, but she could. Kelly had done her no good. She took her away from her family and forced her into another. Forced her into a dead beat step father that used his money to get what he wanted in life. Josie liked money but it didn't make her happy. Sure, she loved going shopping and buying all the new fashions to look good but what she wanted, Kelly never let her have. That was to go back to Boston.

"Not anymore, bitch." Josie mumbled and stared up at the ceiling. She was still a little lagged from her flight yesterday but over all she felt fine. She was hungry but she wasn't sure if her brother knew what real food was. She closed her eyes again and was about to go back to sleep when her phone started ringing. She looked over at the table next to her bed and stared at it for minute before reaching over and grabbing it. Her grumpy attitude changed when saw Tim flash across the caller ID.

"Hey sexy." she answered in a low, sultry voice and giggled when Tim growled on the other end of the phone. She hadn't been away from him for a whole day yet and already she was missing him.

"Damn baby, don't do me like that." Tim whined. "I might be forced to come visit you sooner than expected." he joked. Well, he was half joking at least. It was no secret that Tim was smitten with Josie. Hell, even she knew this but there was far too much history and friendship to risk. He was pissed when she turned him down but a week later when she stopped by to tell him why she couldn't be with him, he understood.

"Like I would mind." Josie pouted even though he couldn't see her. "I miss you, Timmy."

"Yeah well, it ain't been the same since you've been gone. The guys nearly flipped when they found out you bailed without saying bye." Tim told her. Josie frowned and leaned back on her headboard.

"Tell them I'm sorry. I knew it would have been tough saying bye to them." she explained.

"No, it was hard but I had to." she defended. "I couldn't just leave you hanging."

"Alright, so tell me about it. How's it like back home? Talk to me." Tim told her. Josie smiled and sat up in her bed, Indian style.

"My brother was so excited, like you have no fucking idea. He's changed so much though. Like he just looks bigger and tougher that the last time that I saw him." she gushed.

"You staying with him?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, he and his friends cleaned up the place before I got here." she laughed and then bit her lip. "And speaking of his friends..." she sighed dreamily and trailed off. Tim groaned and knew what that sigh was for.

"You cannot already have your slutty little eyes set on some guy already." Tim whined, not wanting to believe that she already was looking for a night of fun. Josie huffed and moved to get off her bed. She held the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she walked over to the bathroom that was connected to her room.

"My eyes aren't slutty and yes, I do." she told him. "Remember the guy I told you about, Billy?"

"Yeah, the one that hated you." Tim sighed. Josie smirked and nodded as she grabbed her toothbrush from the pink and black bag she had on the counter.

"Yes, him. He was with my brother when he picked me up and Tim, let me tell you," she moaned and stuck her brush under the water. "The man is fine."

"I really don't want to hear this." Tim grumbled. Josie rolled her eyes and squirted the paste on her brush.

"I don't care." she shrugged and looked at herself in the mirror. "He's hot, damn hot. He had some tattoos when I left but now he has them everywhere, well from what I see so far." she smiled and started brushing her teeth.

"So far? You're planning on bedding him soon?" he asked in disbelief. "And are you brushing your teeth again? I hate when you do that." he sighed. Josie laughed and spit the extra paste into the sink.

"Sorry, but I like my pearly whites." she told him. "And yes, I am planning on bedding him because he's a fine piece of ass and I need a good lay. Plain and simple." She cupped some water in her hands and rinsed her mouth out.

"You actually think you're brother will let him get with you?" Tim asked. Josie still had the water in her mouth when he asked this. She stopped swishing the water around and stared at the mirror. Suddenly, she spit the water out and grabbed the phone with one hand while the other rested on her hip.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You've thought for a while now that your brother and his buddies were in a gang and you thought that if they were this Billy guy was the leader. Do you actually think your brother will let you go slumming with a gang banger? Unless you decide you want to come clean and tell him you're a druggie like he probably is, he's still going to think you're this sweet angel. He ain't letting his buddies corrupt you." Tim explained to her. Josie tapped her foot on the ground as he told her this.

Tim was right; there was no way Trapper would let Josie get any kind of touchy with Billy. She didn't want him to think of her as a child but she also didn't want him to know the truth. Josie didn't even want to think of the look on her brothers face if he found out she was doing drugs and all the other shit she had gotten into in California. Being with Billy would be a red flag. He'd wonder why she would want or be attracted to someone like Billy Darley. And even if she did hook up with Billy what would stop him from going off to tattle on her.

"I hear your wheels turning, stop thinking." Tim sighed. "Listen Josie, don't do this. You just got home and you haven't even been there for 24 hours, don't fuck it up over some infatuation you have with this guy. So whatever it is you're thinking of doing, don't. There are plenty of guys in Boston for you to have fun with."

"You make me sound like a slut." Josie frowned.

"Just don't mess this up. I know you don't want Trapper to find out what you've done and trust me, I understand. But trying to get with his friend won't help." he told her. Josie sighed and leaned against the bathroom wall. "Now, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright, just call me." she mumbled. "I miss and love you, Timmy."

"Same here, baby girl. Be good." he said and hung up. Josie moved the phone from her ear and pressed the end button. She threw it on the counter and leaned closer to the mirror.

Was it just an infatuation? Would it pass? Would she get him off her mind and find someone else? Or would she be old self and go after the impossible and end up ruining everything?

She shook the thoughts from her head and walked out of the bathroom. She walked over to her closet and pulled out a tiny blue jean skirt and a black strapless top. She slipped into another pair of black leggings that came to her knees and got dressed. She looked over at the clock for the first time and was surprised to see it flashing 12:35pm.

"He should be up by now." she whispered and opened her bedroom door. She walked down the hall way and stopped when she heard voices. She could hear Trapper's but she couldn't place the other one. She shrugged it off and walked into the living room flashing a smile to whoever was in there.

dangerous dáynjərəss- 1. likely to cause or result in harm or injury. 2. involving risk or difficulty.

Danger is everywhere. It's dangerous to fly a plane, to drive a car, to walk down the street. Hell, it's a risk eating a certain kind of fish. But that doesn't stop people from not only flying in a plane but from jumping out of it. If we lived our life by trying to avoid danger, we wouldn't be living. And not living life is dangerous too.

'The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word crisis. One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of danger but recognize the opportunity.'

-Richard M. Nixon

He could have killed Joe for waking him up so early. Granted to some 11am isn't early but after last night it was. Trapper was at the airport until 1am then when they finally made it home it was nearly 1:45am, and then he decided to have a chat with Holly and didn't leave there until almost 3am. Today, 11am was early.

"Did you come here for a specific reason or did you just want a free beer?" Trapper asked the youngest Darley sitting next to him. They had been talking and watching a movie for the last half hour and it just dawned on him that he had no idea as to why Joe stopped by.

Joe had the beer to his lips when Trapper asked him this. He moved the bottle away from his face and looked over at his friend.

"I forgot to tell you that, huh?" he asked. Trapper stared at him and wanted so bad to slap him even more senseless than he already was but figured that wouldn't help matters.

"No, Joe. You didn't." Trapper sighed. Joe nodded and sipped his beer again.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to switch with me?" he finally asked. Switching was when the guys wanted to, of course, switch corners or work nights. They all had their own corners and nights that they worked but sometimes things came up.

"Corner or shift?" Trapper asked.

"Shift. I saw that you were working 12th and Blue Ave. tonight but I figured you might want to spend some time with you baby sister." Joe told him. "So I'll take your 12th and Blue for tonight if you take my N. Lane and Yevin Rd. tomorrow. Deal?" Joe asked sticking his hand out. Trapper shook Joe's hand and nodded.

"Thanks, man." Trapper smiled. He was about to ask Joe if he wanted another beer when he heard tiny footsteps in the hallway. Trapper and Joe both looked over as Josie walked into the living room, smiling. Trapper noticed right away the way Joe's head tilted to watch her as she walked by and he could have shot him dead when he opened his mouth.

"Hey baby." Joe whistled. Trapper's blood started to boil but cooled when he saw the disgusted look on his baby sister's face.

"Not even in your dreams, honey." Josie smirked at the tiny messy haired boy. Trapper laughed and Joe shook his head.

"Billy was right, eh? She is sassy." Joe said elbowing Trapper in the side. Trapper nodded and stood up to walk over to Josie. She wrapped her arms around him when he got to her and then he pointed to Joe.

"Josie, this is Joe. Billy's little brother." Trapper introduced. "Joe, this is Josie." Josie was now interested in this kid. He looked nothing like Billy, except for maybe the cocky ass smirk that they both possessed when they thought they were all that. He had tattoos but none like Trapper or Billy and he wasn't nearly as big as his brother. He was tall like Billy, but too scrawny looking for a Darley.

"How come I've met him?" she asked Trapper and walked over to Joe. Joe stood up and held his hand out for her to take. She smiled warmly and shook his hand.

"We never had the opportunity to run into each other." Joe smirked. Josie raised her eye brow and stared at him.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"23." Joe told her and laughed when she looked shocked. He did not look 23. "Yes, I know I'm damn good looking for my age." he joked. Josie laughed and looked back at Trapper.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Joe." she smiled one more time. Joe nodded and set his beer down.

"You too, Josie." he smiled and looked at Trapper. "So that's a deal?" he asked vaguely, not knowing if she knew about Trapper's lone of work yet. Trapper nodded and sent a grateful smile to Joe.

"Yeah, deal. I'll see you around, Joey. Tell Billy I'm stopping by later. We got some things to talk about." Trapper nodded. Josie watched Joe leave and then turned to Trapper. "But now we need to talk." he said and pointed to the sofa. Josie sat where Joe had just been and Trapper sat next to her.

"Is this about last night?" she asked before he could open his mouth. "Because it if it, don't bother, I got it. Hitting Billy, bad. Shutting up, good." Trapper smirked and shook his head.

"It is and it isn't." he told her. "Josie, we've been apart for a long time. A lot of things have changed around here, we've changed. And if you're going to stay here in Boston, you need to know a few things."

"Alright." she whispered. Trapper took a deep breath and rubbed his head.

"Billy and I, we're known around here. That means we have friends and enemies." he told her. "The group we have they work under us. Hell, I work under Billy too." he sighed. This was way harder than he thought it would be.

"You're in a gang." Josie blurted out. Trapper looked over and gaped at her.

"How did you know?" he asked. Josie smiled and grabbed one of his hands.

"I put two and two together after I left. I saw the local gangs around my neighborhood and they all had something similar to one another. You guys must have the tribal tattoos." she told him. Trapper smirked and nodded.

"Yeah, we do." he said. "I didn't tell you because it was safer." he said softly, wanting her to know his reasons.

"I know. I understand." she nodded. "When did you start though?"

"We, meaning Billy and I, started running errands for his dad when we were 13. One day he asked if we wanted to help out more and we agreed. After that we started running our own corners and stuff." Trapper explained. "It wasn't until you left that we got our gang together. I mean, we had a few guys to help out but we didn't start the gang until you left."

"Is that all you do, sell drugs?" Josie asked. Trapper sighed and looked away. "Trap, I'm not going to hate you. Just because you might do bad or illegal things, it doesn't mean you're a bad person." she told him softly.

"No. We make them too. Buy them, make them, and sell them." he told her honestly. "We also do guns. But Billy deals with that mostly."

"How many do you have in the gang?" she asked.

"7 guys, not including me and Billy." he told her. "Plus, we have a few guys that work for us on the down low."

"Is Joe in?" she asked.

"No, he wishes though." he smirked. "Are you okay with this?" he asked. Josie smiled at him and nodded.

"I'm fine. I'm just glad you told me instead of letting me find out from some stranger." she said laying her head on his shoulder.

"Well, you needed to know. It's safer that way." he said and kissed her head. "But I got more." he told her. Josie lifted her head up and looked at him expectantly. "Boston is dangerous, Josie. As much as I hate to say it, I won't be there with you all the time so you'll need to be extra careful." he told her sternly and stood up. She watched him walk over to the desk in the room and open one of the drawers and pull out a box. Trapper sighed as he walked back over to the sofa with Josie.

"Once people find out who you are, that could stir trouble." he told her softly and almost died seeing the horror in her eyes. "But you've got me and a handful of guys that are watching out for you, Josie. Remember that, alright? But in case something happens and no one is close, you need to be prepared."

Trapper opened the box and pulled out a shiny metal knife. Josie stared at it as Trapper laid it in her hands. She looked at the carvings in it and teared up. It was her name on one side and her birth date on the other. She looked at the bottom of it and saw her father's name.

"He had it made about three months before he passed. He had one made for me and gave it to me on my 16th birthday." he told her as she studied the knife. "Just be careful and only use it if you have to." Josie nodded and wiped the tears off her face.

"So, uh how do I use it?" she laughed. Trapper chuckled and pointed to a tiny button on the side.

"Push that and the blade will pop out. Make sure you move your hand from the side though, it pop's out from there." he warned her. She moved her fingers out the way and pushed the tiny button. She smiled when the blade appeared from the side of the knife.

"Thank you." she whispered. Trapper kissed the side of her head and prayed she never had to use it.

con·fu·sion kən fyoozh'n- 1. the act of confusing somebody or something, or the state of being confused or perplexed. 2. a chaotic or disordered state. 3. misunderstanding of a situation or the facts.

Confusion is a bitch. Plain and simple. You hate confusing people and you hate being confused. There's nothing worse than not understanding something someone is saying. It's also hard when you're not too sure of the feelings someone is sending out. Then you have sarcasm and that send you for a whole other loop. You don't know whether they are mad, happy or whether they even like you. Again, confusion is a bitch.

'Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not yet understood.'

-Henry Miller

Billy was never confused. He understood things a lot more than people credited him for. He also didn't confuse people. It was real simple actually. It was his way or no way. What he said was what was to be done. There was nothing to be confused about. But never had he been so, what's the word, perplexed by one person.

"Perplexed." Billy grunted. He had way too much to drink and was thinking far too hard. "Jimmie, another shot." he slurred and yelled tot he bartender. Jimmie nodded and grabbed the bottle of Jack and another glass. Billy gave him a drunken smile and grabbed the glass.

"How many has he had?" a voice asked form behind him. Billy turned to see Bodie standing behind him. As Jimmie was about to speak Billy interrupted him.

"Why don't you ask me? I'm right here and I am the one drinking." Billy told him, trying to sound mean but failed miserably. See, Billy was a good drinker...to an extent. Give him a few beers and at max 10 shots and he's good. But you give him more than a few beers and a bottle of Jack, he's gone. A buzzed Billy was ballsy man. A drunken Billy was a mean and sly man. But a too far to be toasted Billy was almost child like. Even when he was past the point of knowing what was right and what was wrong, Billy still had control. Further than that was no man's land.

"Exactly, you've been drinking so I'm not likely to get a correct answer." Bodie told him and took the seat next to him. Billy glared and turned in his seat.

"I can count. I ain't stupid." he spat and took his shot. Jimmie sighed and looked at Bodie.

"That's his 8 shot and he had 6 beers." he told Bodie. Bodie sighed and looked over at Billy. He might not have been closest to Billy but he knew that man like the back of his hand. He only drank like this when something was really bugging him and the only reason he kept going was because not even the drinking would make it go away.

Bodie, personally, had only seen him like that once. It was almost four years ago when Billy's mother came back to town. She called and said she was coming to see him and Joe. The Darley's went to meet their mom at a local diner and to have what they thought would be a nice reunion but it wasn't.

"Hello, boys." Carla smiled from the booth. Billy and Joe smiled at her and took the seats across from her. She had been gone for nearly five year and just now showed up. They talked to her on the phone every once in a while but not often.

"Mom." the boys greeted happily. Carla shifted in her seat and she forced a smile onto her face. Billy noticed this and know was wondering why she was here. When she called she had told him she was missing them and had to see them but didn't give a straight answer as to why.

"What brings you to town?" Billy asked gruffly. Carla noted the tone of his voice and nodded.

"I needed to do this face to face." she said almost in a whisper. She reached beside her and grabbed a box and set it on the table.

"What's that?" Joe asked. She just nodded to it and Billy ripped the box open. He peered inside and frowned when he saw nothing but pictures of him and Joe when they were little.

"You came all this way to show us baby pictures?" Billy asked. Carla shook her head and held back tears.

"No, I came to give them to you." she told them. Joe stared at her, not knowing for sure what she meant but Billy knew what she was trying to say.

"Why?" he asked anyways. Carla's head snapped to her eldest son and almost glared at him. She knew he knew what she meant but she also knew that Joe didn't. Billy wanted her to tell her youngest son that she was leaving them for good because frankly, Billy was tired of breaking his little brother's heart for their mother. Every time she left or didn't show up, Billy was the one to tell Joe.

"I'm going away for a while." she whispered, trying not o look at either boy.

"You're always away, mother." Billy smirked. "What's different now?" he asked. Joe looked between them finally realizing he was missing something.

"Because I'm not coming back." she whispered. Joe's face contorted in confusion as he looked at his mother.

"What's going on?" Joe asked in an irritated voice. Carla felt the tears come down her face and shook her head.

"I can't do it, boys. I have a new life." she cried. Billy's jaw clenched and Joe glared at her. "I want you to understand. Charlie treats me well and he has children."

"Good clean cut children that aren't us, right mom? Charlie doesn't like us and he wants you to cut us out of your life." Billy growled. Carla shook her head and reached for them.

"No, he just doesn't understand and we need to be our own family." she cried to them. Joe looked away from her and shook his head.

"We are your family." he whispered. Billy looked over at his broken brother and stood up. He pulled Joe from the booth and pushed him to the door. When Joe was outside he leaned over to his mother.

"Go on and have your fairy tale life but you dare come back here after Prince Charming breaks your heart, I'll break your neck." he hissed and walked away from her.

That night everyone watched as Joe and Billy sat in the corner of the bar and drank away the night. Carla had gone to Trapper's and gave him the box of pictures and he put them away for the day when they sobered up. Bodie helped take Billy to Trapper's place and that's when he got to see what Trapper saw, the real Billy. He saw Billy break down about his mom and everything. Very few tears were shed but Billy it was what Billy said and how he talked. That night Billy look liked a real human being rather than Boston's infamous gang lord.

"So what's the problem, Billy?" Bodie asked and waved Jimmie for a shot. Billy sighed and looked over at him.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked and waited for Bodie to answer. When Bodie nodded Billy spoke again. "I think Trapper's little sister likes me." Bodie nearly choked on his shot and coughed. Billy casually threw a hand behind his back and patted his friend's back roughly. Bodie winced and moved away from Billy's drunken but helpful hand.

"What do you mean likes you?" he asked slowly, dragging out the last two words. Billy went to wave Jimmie for another but stopped in mid wave. A thoughtful look passed his face as he paused and finally looked over at Bodie.

"I think she was flirting with me last night." he told Bodie honestly.

"In front of Trapper?" Bodie asked. Billy shook his head.

"When he wasn't looking." he muttered. "While he was packing her things into my car she got really close to me, she ran her finger down the hood of my car dangerously close to my leg, man. She stared at me the whole time I drove." In his head this didn't sound so immature but now that he heard himself say this he wondered if he was just imagining it. If it was just wishful thinking.

"She might have been trying to be nice or friendly." Bodie suggested. Billy sent him a look that said yeah right and Bodie chuckled. "Do you like her?"

"No." Billy answered a little too quickly. Bodie raised his brow and Billy sighed. "She's hot." he stated.

"Really?" Bodie asked.

"Like really hot. Like fuckable more than once hot." Billy smirked. Bodie laughed and held out his balled up hand. Billy hit Bodie's hand with his own and nodded. "She's one fine piece." he sighed and trailed off.

"But she's your best friends little sister." Bodie finished and Billy nodded.

"Yeah. And that's where it ends." Billy finished. As much as he wanted to try and get with Josie, she was off limits. Even if Trapper gave him permission, which was highly unlikely, he would still back off as much as he could. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was somewhat attracted to the girl he hated with a passion six years ago. But she grew up, she grew up a lot.

Back in the day when you were young (it was fun)
Little girl, didn't think you were the one (Now here I come)
Your sexy walk, your sexy talk (That's what's up)
Little girl, you're clearly not the same kid form the block
You know I like the way you moving (Moving)
Girl you're all grown up and now your ready to let it go
Wanna be a big girl, got to prove it (Prove it)
With a body like that you got a grown man ready to go

-Big Girl Now by New Kids On The Block ft. Lady GaGa