He's laughing again - ruthless, maniacal. It pounds into my skull, ensnaring me in an invisible web. Stop! I beg, Stop!

But he does not...When will he stop?

If I could only find him. I would pound his face into the ground, over and over again until only a bloody shell of a man remained. But his silky voice is still all around me, his body all but a shadow. That familiar voice, unmistakable yet indescribable, heckles me again. Over and over he chides me. He tells me I may be helpless, but that I still have my mind.

'They can't take your mind,' he says to me again and I say to him, 'Who are you?' But he does not answer.

He never does...

Taris: a condemned world with the foulest creatures I have ever seen. Given a choice, I would not have come here. Upon arrival, Vector had shivered as he exited the ship and for once I empathized. This planet radiated death and destruction. Even I, lacking Force-sensitivity or any such heightened awareness, could feel it.

My nightmares had become more frequent and my headaches more painful on Taris. It was if they had woken under the cover of darkness and, like the wildlife, mutated, growing larger with each passing day. I felt control over my body slipping away. At times I became so light-headed that I had to prop myself against a tree, the Phantom, or even unsuspecting Vector. At night, my mind belonged to my dreams. I continued the best I could, for I did not want to draw attention to my handicap. I wouldn't have been able to tell anyone anyway.

I had been tasked by the SIS with finding a fallen Jedi, Ki Saizen. She had been heralded as a hero to the Nikto and they fought in her honor. When at last I caught up with her, I promised her that the SIS could use her skills, especially since it seemed she did not want to return to the Jedi Order.

Had I done the right thing? I reflected later. Would the SIS trust Saizen? Would they, in turn, begin to trust me?

I watched Kaliyo and 2V moving crates into the Phantom. We had inadvertently picked up another crew member, a Doctor Lokin, who had once been a Fixer for Imperial Intelligence. He proved to be an invaluable asset on this mission; however, I still did not completely trust him.

Nor did I really trust Kaliyo, I mused. This thought saddened me a bit. I watched Doctor Lokin scold Kaliyo for dropping a rather large box labeled "FRAGILE." She rolled her eyes and as soon as the doctor turned away, she kicked the crate up the ramp. Doctor Lokin hadn't noticed; he and Vector were engaged in friendly conversation.

I realized then that if I had to choose a single team member that I could depend upon with my life, it would be Vector. Having no alternate agenda or a sketchy past, he was the only one I could really trust. As if aware I was thinking about him, he suddenly met my eye and smiled. I smiled back, then turned away, pretending to check off boxes on my datapad. Doctor Lokin seems to be bringing his entire laboratory with him.

"Agent? Might we have a word?"

"Of course." I lowered my datapad.

Vector seemed nervous, which was highly unlike him. I wondered if he too had reservations about Doctor Lokin. "We noticed we'd be heading to Hoth next."

"Yes. Another day or two, I expect. We'll finish up here and then travel to the Imperial Fleet. Kaliyo and Doctor Lokin have already volunteered to replenish our supplies." I shook my head. "I'm not really looking forward to Hoth. It's funny - I'm not a big fan of the cold, but I do love the snow."

When he didn't respond, I thought he might be upset that I had assigned Kaliyo and Lokin to gather supplies. Perhaps he had wanted to go to Imperial Fleet, too. I said hurriedly, "If you wanted to go with them, I'm sure it would be fine - "

"We were actually hoping we could spend some time with you...alone - unless, of course, you have some pressing reports to complete."

"Oh," I whispered. My cheeks grew warmer and for a few seconds words abandoned me. I fiddled with my datapad. "I'd love to."

The next day we left Kaliyo and Doctor Lokin at Imperial Fleet, agreeing to meet them at the hanger in about 18 hours. Even though they'd have plenty of time to get everything on my list, I suspected that Kaliyo would be at one of the many bars for a good seventeen-and-a-half hours and would only gather supplies under direct supervision from Lokin. As for the good doctor, I assumed he would be meeting with past associates.

Vector would not tell me where we were going; not that I tried very hard to pry the coordinates out of him. Not knowing felt more like a vacation. While he and 2V arranged the travel itinerary, I must have tried on every civilian outfit I had in my closet, trying to find one suitable for a picnic. Thanks to my dedication to Intelligence, I really didn't have many clothes to choose from, so in the end I wore a simple blue tunic paired with leggings and boots.

Vector, on the other hand, looked stunning in a glossy red robe, fashionably cut. It must have been tailored, for it fit him perfectly. I felt sorely underdressed and would probably be confused for one of his servants. Does he even own casual robes? This thought amused me and I giggled loudly.

"Are you ready, Agent?" He offered me his arm.

"Yes." I slipped my hand into the crook of his arm and practically skipped down the ship's ramp. "It's been a while since I've been on a vacation."

As we walked out of the small hangar, Vector spoke as nonchalantly as possible, though I could hear the excitement in his voice. "We considered a few places before settling on this one," he told me. Upon leaving the docks, we turned south and I was shocked to see that I recognized a few of the nearby buildings. I found the familiarity to be disconcerting but after several blocks, I still couldn't place our location. I grasped Vector's arm uncomfortably.

"Do you know where we are yet?"

As soon as he said it, I knew.

Wortan. I'm home.

After a decade of absence, I had come home. I stopped in the middle of the walkway to take it all in. "I haven't been back here in years."

Wortan, nestled in the widest part of the Avo-voa Canyon, had not changed much in my absence. Most of the eastern section of the city - leveled during the Mandelorian Wars - had been redeveloped into a cozy residential area with a large park that blended into the surrounding forest. The stone bridges of my day that crossed the large river had been replaced with metal ramps; a futuristic oddity compared to the simplicity of the rest of the city. Only one other skyscraper had been built since the attack and I noted that it had been carved into the canyon itself. A precaution, it seemed, against future attacks. A market along the main street bustled with mid-morning shoppers.

"How did you know?" I asked in bewilderment.

"We guessed, based on many of our past conversations."

"That's...amazing. I can't believe you figured it out." Vector grinned broadly and I laughed. "Maybe I need to censor myself around you."

My eyes wandered to the busy street before us. "It's market day! Are you hungry?" Without waiting for his answer, I directed him to the colorful tents and kiosks that lined the street.

Vector insisted that I choose our picnic lunch. I opted for something light and simple: a few wrinkled purple fruits, a burlap bag of crisp raw vegetables, some soft cheese, and a loaf of freshly baked bread. While we made our purchases, I recognized a few family friends and paused to visit with them. Vector proved in his element, expertly winding the conversation in the direction he chose. They laughed loudly as he told joke after joke, and I found myself admiring his ability to small-talk. This stranger with the golden tongue had won them over quite effortlessly and when it was finally time to go, they told me to return soon and to bring Vector with me.

"You've certainly impressed them," I told him as I led him from the market.

Vector smiled. "It is not hard to read people, once you know how."

The bag strap slipped from my shoulder and I lifted it back up. "Can you read everyone so well?"

He considered the question for a moment before responding. "Since we Joined, in some ways it has become easier for us to read people and in some ways much harder."

I thought back to his question a few months ago: Has our relationship become unprofessional? He claimed to have difficulties reading people then. "How so?"

"In Diplomatic Service we relied heavily on facial cues, tone of voice, and body language. Now, as a Joiner, we rely more on a person's smell and fluctuations in their aura. On Alderaan, we rarely came in contact with anyone but other Kilik. Since we've joined your team, we have had more practice during our missions with Intelligence. Now we can say with some certainty that we can read people much better now than before we were transferred." He looked down the street. "Where shall we eat?"

I took his hand. "I know the perfect place. It's a bit of a hike, but it's nice."

"Lead the way, Agent."

For a few minutes we walked hand-in-hand through the city, then turned off onto a path through the trees, the shade protecting us some from the growing mugginess. The afternoon was bound to be oppressively humid. The path twisted along the muddy river bank, the water inviting. Massive slabs of old buildings and structures laid exposed in the water like giant stepping stones. I couldn't stop beaming - I used to swim out there as a girl. The rubble from buildings past still covered the trail.

At any other place, I would have been my usual, guarded self but reliving my childhood made me talkative. "Even though my parents were killed here in the war, I love this place."

Vector looked slightly pained. He had not known about this aspect of my youth. "We're sorry, Agent."

"It's alright, really. I was only a baby when I was found in the rubble, so I don't remember anything. Not even my own parents, sadly." I paused. "Once, when I was little - seven, I think - my grandfather took me along this trail. This used to be part of the city, before the war. After that, he never came back, but I would often come out here to reflect. This place harbors a sadness for the survivors, but I don't remember any of it. I was too young."

"You were an orphan, then."

"Yes. My grandparents raised me. Well, mostly my grandfather. My grandmother died when I was six. When he followed many, many years later, I had already enlisted. I didn't get to see him much in the end." I smiled sadly.

"The remains of several apartment buildings were swept downriver during a flood soon after the war. You can see some of the ruins in the water." I pointed to the crumbling concrete and twisted metal. They resembled large, flat islands. Vector nodded, but said nothing.

The path branched off toward a small clearing next to the river. "This is it," I whispered. I had not been back here since my grandfather's death ten years ago. It was remarkable how little the area had changed.

"You are saddened, Agent?"

"No. Well, yes. A bit. I've...missed this place. A lot. I used to come out here all the time. It was mine, and mine alone." I smiled. "I'm starving. Ready for lunch?"

Vector nodded again, his features unreadable. I had yet to determine if he thought this trip was a good idea or a bad idea. We sat on the river bank and pulled out the foods we bought at the market. I popped a bright red vegetable into my mouth before pulling off my boots and dipping my feet into the water. The hems of my leggings were now wet, but I didn't care. It was good to be home.

I passed the burlap bag to Vector. "It's amazing how many things I remember about this place."

"What is your favorite memory?"

I giggled, looking out over the water. "I have so many. But...if I had to choose one...I used to steal Grandfather's old blaster and bring it here. I'd play games with it."

"What did you play?"

"Oh, silly things. I'd pretend I was a hunter or a soldier. Then one day he caught me with it. Oh, was he furious! He insisted that I learn how to use it properly. As a child I was excited he was imparting this grand wisdom on me, but now I realize he didn't want me injured or killed. I was the only family he had left," I paused, breaking the loaf of bread and handing him half. I pulled my vibrodagger from the sheath at my leg and sliced several pieces of the soft cheese.

"I got quite good at handling the blaster. It was a bit rusty and so heavy, but still worked surprisingly well. I'd set up targets with the old junk I'd find along the river. After some practice, I rarely ever missed. Sometimes the older boys would challenge me to a best three-out-of-five or five-of-seven."

"Who won?"

I grinned. "Who do you think?"

Over lunch, the conversation shifted to the history of Wortan and the Mandelorian Wars. I was surprised and pleased by Vector's knowledge of Iridonia. He also divulged a bit about his own family and that he had little contact with his parents since he became a Joiner. Since the Kilik and other Joiners had become his family, his own parents had become a bit unnecessary. They probably wouldn't understand him now, anyway.

I picked up a smooth, flat rock and tossed it into the water. It skipped several times before sinking into the water with a loud plunk. I was thankful for the shade and the moisture from the river. The heat from the sun felt suffocating. I scooped up some river water and splashed my face. I wondered how Vector was able to stay cool in all of his robes. He had to be sweltering in the heat.

"Your planet is lovely, Agent. We have never been to Iridonia before."

I moved my legs in the water, causing ripples to swirl around them. "I've always thought so. It's one of my favorite places in the galaxy."

Vector tilted his head, his black eyes shining. "Your connection here is strong. We can feel how much you love this place."

"Do you ever feel things you don't want to, Vector?" I asked softly.

"Yes, all of the time. Here, we see the connections among insects, plant species, and the sunlight. But we also see the others who have passed here before. We see destruction and pain. We hear cries for help and despair. We hear revenge and fear." He paused a moment. "We see silent suffering and enduring patience."

He's talking about me, I thought sadly, without meeting his eye. I would tell you. I would if I could.

"It can't be easy to experience what you do. I don't think I could do it."

"At first, it was difficult for us," Vector admitted. "All of our experiences were so overwhelming. We wanted to analyze all of those feelings. It took us a long time before we were able to just absorb everything."

The thing about Vector is that he is such a skilled conversationalist that before you know it, hours have passed. Until now, I had never met another person who could so easily engage me in conversation. That is probably why I did not realize the sky had darkened so dramatically until a flash of light above the canyon caught my eye. Thunderstorm! I had not been trapped in a storm since I was ten. I had almost broken my ankle running home. Thankfully my grandfather had come out looking for me and carried me the rest of the way. My ankle was swollen and sore, but nothing more than a bad sprain.

"I'd love to stay here for the rest of the day, but we should get going - at least back to Wortan," I said, turning to him. "It's going to rain." Vector nodded and began packing our belongings. I reluctantly put on my boots. We started up the path.

As we walked quickly down the trail, the wind began to howl and branches from nearby trees lashed out at us. More lightning flickered above us and seconds later a deep boom echoed throughout the canyon. Suddenly the heavens opened and the rain poured down.

"This way!" I grabbed Vector's hand and ran up the path. Once there had been a large, hollowed-out pile of ruins along the river. As a child, I had used it as my fort and I hoped that it was still there, unoccupied. The rain beat upon us like grapeshot, plastering my thick brown hair against my face and neck. Water dripped into my eyes, stinging them. I could barely make out the entrance a few meters down the path. Pushing aside the brush and tree limbs that obscured entry, we ducked inside, soaking wet.

I leaned against the cave wall and squeezed rainwater out of my hair. "We often get thunderstorms in summer. There's not much more we can do but wait it out." I studied the interior of the cave. It was smaller than I remembered, not much more than a closet, and it appeared to be untouched, but any number of people could have come and gone in my absence. I recalled a few supplies I'd hidden here at one time, hoping at the very least the matches would still be here. I brushed my fingers along the top ledge of the plasteel slabs, my fingertips finally sweeping over a small, thick packet. I pulled down a folder of matches.

"You've been here before, too," Vector said. He had slicked his dark hair back to keep the water from rolling down his face.

"Yes. I'd hide here when it rained." I shivered slightly. "And sometimes when it did not." I swept some brush and small sticks into a pile with my foot. Stooping down, I scraped a match against the wall and it hissed into a lively flame. I pressed the match against the kindling and it exploded into a small fire.

"You're very resourceful," Vector said as I sat next to him.

"No," I laughed, "just cold."

Vector shrugged out of his outer robe and draped it over me. The fine red silk had discolored from the storm. I held it close. "Such a shame."

"Pardon?"

"Your robe. You'll never be able to wear it again."

"We have many more robes, Agent," he insisted.

I lifted Vector's robe to my shoulders. Although it was drenched, it still smelled vaguely of wood and sweet spices. Other operatives I'd previously worked with all smelled the same: like sweat and earth, leather and kevlar, booze and stale cigarettes. This scent was unfamiliar to me and a bit sinful.

"You know, I think I might have hidden a Pazaak deck here once," I commented carelessly.

"Where?"

I glanced around the cave, trying to remember. I had often shuffled my treasures around to make it less likely anyone would find them. "The corner. Over there, I think. There should be a small space under one of the flat rocks." He lifted a few of the rocks and finally drew something out. He handed me the deck with a winning smile.

I opened the cracked plasteel package and pulled out the cards. Vector threw more brush and sticks on the fire and then sat down next to me. "These were also in there." He handed me two ration bars. I scrunched up my nose in disgust. He laughed and set them aside.

"You know, I won this deck from an older boy," I said while giving the cards a good shuffle. "He had challenged me to a best three-of-five."

Vector watched the cards intently. "What were you to lose if he had won?"

I shrugged. "Some jewelry I found by the water. A piece of a pendant or earring or something. It's probably in here, too, somewhere. I kept a lot of my treasures here. Things I didn't want Grandfather to find. He would not have approved of me gambling." I handed the deck to Vector. "Cut the cards."

He picked up half the deck and I put my half on top of his. I shuffled the deck once more. "Do you know how to play?"

"We're afraid the only game we know is Corellian Bridge."

"I've never heard of it. You'll have to teach me sometime."

"Very well, Agent. Perhaps Doctor Lokin would play with us. We're not sure if we could convince Kaliyo."

I snickered. "Get enough alcohol in her and you can get her to do anything."

Pazzak is a fairly easy game to learn - after all, I had been taught by my peers as a child - so after giving Vector a quick tutorial, I dealt a hand. Although he had never played before, Vector turned out to be a natural. His face remained placid while he played his cards, due certainly to his diplomatic training, and he manipulated the sums in his head almost as well as Kaliyo. Perhaps the two of them have something in common after all, I thought and giggled.

Vector raised his eyebrows. "What is so funny?"

"Maybe now that you know how to play Pazzak you'll play with Kaliyo and me more often." I set down a red two and waited for him to play his final card. He set down a blue five. "Nice try." I smiled triumphantly. "I win again."

"And what shall your winnings be, Agent?" Vector teased, a sparkle in those dark pools of his.

After only a moment's hesitation I said, "A secret. I'd like to know something you've never told anyone else before...except maybe the Kilik," I added.

"A secret?" Vector sat back thoughtfully.

"Yes. It can be from when you were a child, if you want."

Vector nodded. "A secret..." He tapped his chin thoughtfully as he trailed off. "Alright, Agent. We have a secret for you." He threw a few more sticks on our small fire. "When we first met you on Alderaan, we expected you to be like others in the service: dull, borish, and unnecessarily cruel. Imagine our surprise when you turned out to be quite opposite of what we had assumed."

I smiled at him encouragingly. Seems we both had preconceived notions of the other.

"After we joined your crew, we began to wonder what your hands would feel like. We wondered if you'd have callouses on your palms and rough skin along your fingers. We wondered if you spent time filing broken nails or if you left them, to remind you of your duty." A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. "They were softer than we thought they'd be."

Suddenly I recalled the dance in the galley of the Phantom and wondered if that had been a carefully orchestrated plan all along or if it had been, like I thought at the time, a spontaneous invitation.

"Over time, we began to wonder what it would be like to to smell your hair or to hold you close."

"The party," I whispered.

"Yes. We'd never felt your heart beat so fast - not even when we fought Jadis."

"And now?" I said softly.

He paused a moment and I could see he was working up the courage to say something more. "Now, Agent, we wonder what it would be like to...kiss you."

By the Maker, he just say kiss me?

My heart pounded against my sternum, its echo reverberating through my rib cage. With every beat I could feel the blood ringing in my ears and inflaming my cheeks. His words had left me painfully exposed and I wished that I was not wearing my civilian clothes. I longed instead for the protection of my armor.

It was obvious to me now that Vector shared my infatuation, but I had no idea what to do about it. Generally, Intelligence encouraged agents to engage in flirtation or indulge in sex as a means to achieve mission success; however, this time there was no mission - just mutual attraction between two team members. It was certain to be frowned upon.

There were reasons, of course. If the relationship soured or if a lover was captured and tortured or bought out, secrets could be leaked and missions compromised. Enemy targets could then use these secrets, thereby gaining not only information, but leverage. It was my job to preserve our secrets and uncover enemy secrets. As a rule, it was far easier to trust no one than it was to give up the minutest personal detail. The cost was too great.

But I couldn't deny that I liked Vector. A lot. I warmed to his gentle nature, valued his unique perspective, and admired his ability to relate to people. Thanks to the Kilik, Vector also proved highly perceptive and already knew details about my life even before this picnic. He was the only member of my crew who knew I was suffering, and the only one that I cared to get to know.

"Vector," I whispered, "I think our relationship has finally become unprofessional."

He looked at me carefully, trying to mask his confusion.

"But," I said, leaning into him, "I don't care." My lips met his and for a moment he was too shocked to speak. Then he responded, pressing his lips against mine a little harder and pulling me close. He smelled of the exact same spices as his robe, but more intense, and the aroma overwhelmed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

We broke away, our breath ragged. We remained in an embrace, our foreheads touching. I rubbed the back of his neck lightly with my fingers and he shuddered, his grip along my back tightening. "I have a secret for you, too," I whispered in his ear. Vector raised his eyebrows in response. His senses were probably on overdrive. "I've wondered what it would be like to kiss you, too. Ever since the reunion. I wanted to kiss you while we danced."

"We know," he finally said, releasing me and gazing into my eyes. I could tell it was difficult for him to regain control. "Your vitals changed so drastically around us. And your aura became...indescribable." He paused and gently slipped a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "Well, to be perfectly honest, we were not completely certain of how you felt, but we were fairly sure."

I exhaled slowly. "Vector, I - I like you. I like you a lot. And maybe this is just Intelligence talking, but pursuing this - whatever it is - is probably a very bad idea."

"Is it, Agent?" he asked. He always said 'Agent' the way I envisioned he would say my name: soft, as if the syllables woven together formed a fine silk.

"Yes. This could very well compromise our mission." I studied his face a moment and then took his hand. "You know that."

"We do." He paused a moment before continuing levelly, "If that is what you wish, Agent, then we will keep these feelings to ourself."

I smiled wryly. "I don't really think I'd like that at all, Vector. I want to spend more time with you. I want to be able to share my past with you. I'd even like to kiss you again, but...I'm afraid if I open myself up, I will fail Intelligence. And...I just can't do that." I focused on our dying fire and tossed a few more branches on the coals.

Vector lifted my chin and placed a tender kiss on my lips. "We would like nothing more than to hear your stories or just be with you, but we do not want you to have to choose. Not until you can make the right decision."

"Fair enough. Until then, I will find as many excuses as possible to be alone with you."

"We would like that," he said, pulling me into his arms. I rested my head against his chest. This vacation had taken an interesting turn. I no longer felt uneasy about my feelings for Vector, but I still wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do about them.