Chapter 3 Part 1
One Day Till X-Mas:

Zim's booted feet scuffled down the iced over side walk as fast as alien-ly possible, disguised eyes kept wide for any ugly human, or evil chuwhawha that might sneak up on him. In his hands there was a large box, nearly filled to the brim with shiny red and green monstrosities.

The irken was muttering to himself about the snow, about the cold, about this stupid holiday but, mostly about the stupid boy who lived down the street who just had to go and start asking stupid questions about couples.

The same boy who conveniently turned the corner at the same time that Zim did, effectively crashing into each other and sending the box flying and both of them to the ground in a heap of limbs and curses.

"Damn, I'm sorr—Zim."

The alien had been flailing about, ready to destroy whoever had knocked him over when he heard the voice, smelt the familiar warm scent and froze. "Stink-Boy."

The human untangled himself and shoved to his feet, holding out a hand to help the irken up. Said irken scowled at the hand and pushed it away before struggling to his own feet. Dib smiled at this and put his hands back in his pockets because they were getting cold, and like a moron he had no gloves. The smile faded though when he saw the large box of God Knows what at their feet.

"Sorry. Um, what were you doing?" Dib asked awkwardly. Ever since their fight a few days ago, he'd been trying to get up the nerve to go talk to Zim. Try to make up. At first he'd been thinking of ways to try to bring Zim around to his way of thinking.

But, then he'd realized that that wasn't what he wanted. Sure, it would be nice to take it to another level with the stubourn jerk. But, mostly he just wanted his enemy and sort of friend back.

Zim blinked at the question, seemingly unsure and surprised before sniffing with all the indignacny of a king who had stepped in something nasty and picking up his box with difficulty.

"Not that it's any of your business but, I was going in the general direction of your um, household." Now it was Dib's turn to be astonished. 1. Because Zim had actually answered his question. And 2. Because he'd been doing the same thing. But, years of experiencing first hand Zim's stupidity had increased his reaction time on most everything.

A dark brown brow arched. "But, it involves me. Doesn't that make it my business?"

The Irken had obviously not considered this and it showed in his expression. "Wha-? No." He said with extreme stubbornness and outright outrage all hidden beneath one syllable.

"Okay." Dib conceded, feeling a rush of affection that wasn't new to him, towards Zim. He decided just to cut to the heart of it all instead of running in circles like they were bound to do. "Look Zim,…I…when I talked about, um that couple stuff…."

The human shook his head, scythe lock bouncing with the motion, a low flush covering his face from how stupid he'd been. "I just, I shouldn't have. You're Zim. An Irken Invader. I know for a fact that the very idea disgusts and confuses you…I-I don't want to pressure you. Or ruin what we have." He couldn't risk losing Zim. Not his alien. Not his present that he'd prayed so hard for.

"I know that Invaders need no one and—I'd rather be your enemy and sort-of friend than lose you to my own stupid human em—" He was cut off when Zim's black rubber (and therefore cold) hand sovered his mouth, effectively stopping any words from babbling themselves out into the open.

"Silence, puny-brained-thing." Zim said affectionately. The irken dug into the cardboard box, whicn made horrible noises (cats screeching, buzz saws whirling, elephants honking) before Zim pulled out something shiney, red with little green leaves. A closer inspection revealed shimmering red berries, bright green leaves, all nestled around a big, beautiful crystal.

Dib felt frozen. More than frozen. The feeling just increased as Zim held it above their heads. The human's golden eyes went from the mistletoe to Zim, mistletoe, Zim…"Wha-What is that? What are you doing, Zim?"

The irken's cheeks puffed out with annoyance, disguised eyes narrowing. The other hadn not holding the plant went to his hip.
"Are you telling Zim that you don't understand your own disgusting, holiday traditions?"

"Y-you mean…?"

Zim rolled his large eyes and waggled the mistletoe between their faces. "Yes. Now kiss me before I change my mind and shove this plant up yo—Mmph!" Dib's lips were warm compared to the cold air. Soft too. They tasted like spearmint which was oddly not unpleasant. There on his tongue was determination. The solider he'd seen in cold copper eyes. The one that had convinced him to compromise. Sometimes a good solider had to make sacrifices in order to get results.

Zim dropped the box again, his hands fluttering way too femininely to the human's chest. It wasn't all that bad, he rationalized, he would just have to ration the affection. Treat it like a reward system foe the stink-brain.

Dib pulled away, blushing and blinking like he'd been stuck in a dark room forever and the lights had just been turned on. Zim smirked just plain evilly and threw the mistletoe into the box which squeaked like a dying mouse.

The human cleared his throat. "What else—" His voice still sounded high pitched, so he did it again. "What else do you have in there?" A thumb gestured, as nonchalantly as possible at the box.

"I'll show you." Zim reached in and pulled out a brightly wrapped package. The bow was metal. The wrapping paper brilliant pink with little irken signs. The box itself was about the length of Zim's palm and two fingers wide.

The irken shoved it at Dib, presenting it like it was the most wonderful package in the entire universe and that Dib would never receive nor look upon such an amazing sight ever again.

The teen fought the urge to snicker, and grabbed the box before he dug in his trench coat pocket and pulled out his own box with bright yell smiley faces on the wrapping. It was two hands wide and about a foot long. It was extremely skinny however, only a centimeter or two in thickness.

Zim stared vacantly, taking his package carefully, greed filling his eyes. At the same time the two boys ripped into them. Dib blinked. Once and then twice before he fully realized jus what it was he held in his hands. All at the same time his heart squeezed so painfully that his chest ached and it also dropped all the way to his snow covered boot tips.

"Oh…it's a deadly laser attachment…for my…Swiss army knife…"

Zim's claws tore into the happy faces, giggling gleefully before he too froze. A few seconds of incomprehension passed. Two beautiful, skinny and obviously expensive twin blades. They were retractable ones.

The kind that would fit easily (with some minor adjustments) inside his favorite boots with the built in warmers and fuzzy innards, but were made from the finest Blargon leather and therefore slick and deadly. They would come out at the click of a heel and be ready for any action.

The kind of boots that he wasn't wearing now. The kind that he'd sold at the stupid Prawn shop down town to buy the Dib that laser attachment.

Dib bit his lip as he felt the empty pocket space where his Swiss army knife had been yesterday and wasn't any longer.

"Zim, I wished you hadn't—"
"You stupid human, I—"

Dib looked away from his gift and up at Zim who was looking about as lost as he was. The daggers were beautiful, shining in the evening sun. His eyes flew to the boots. Only find that said boots weren't there. Just old rainboots that Zim broke out on rare occasions when he didn't want to chance his precious shoes being destroyed. "Zim…where…?"

"Zim sold them." He said snobbishly, a finger stroking the blade softly, liking how he could see his reflection in it. It was…nice of the Dib. He'd been looking for something like these. Perhaps he would use that reward system later to thank him.

Dib scoffed and shook his head. "I sold my Swiss Knife to buy you those." The human chuckled softly. "I can't believe this. It's like that one Christmas story."

"What?" Zim asked, not looking away from the shiny, shiny knives. Dib shook his head.

"Never mind. This was really awesome of you though, Zim. Thanks." Wide, disguised eyes finally flickered to the human and the irken nodded.

"I am, uh pleased that yo—" For the billionth time that day Zim was cut off. Only it wasn't by Dib or by a kiss or by anything that should've cut him off. Instead it was an inhuman roar that drowned him out. It came from the sky. Or rather from behind Zim.

The human screamed, and threw himself at the irken. They went tumbling through the snow, sliding across the ice and slush, rolling to a stop as they hit the edge of the sidewalk with a painful thunk. A flash of bright, violent red and another deafening roar. Zim poked his head up out of the snow pile they'd made, mouth falling open.

Dib was already on his feet, frost covering him from head to toe. The creature had moved on, having spotted a festive looking store front.

"I-Is that…?"

Zim gulped. "The Santa suit that I created from a Vortian liquid substance also filled with a million tiny hard drives all downloaded with data on Santa that I wore to try to make you all slaves and then began to try to take over my body because of all the jolliness and eventually won and then you blew a hole in it, allowing me to shrink it and you to shoot it into the cold, void of space?"

"Yeah." Dib replied weakly.

"Yep."
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INTERMISSION