Shout-outs: Hannah, Guest and EevyLynn for their reviews

Rated: T

Author's Note:

The song for this chapter is Burn With You by Lea Michele.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 4

We're not healthy, barely breathing but this pain keeps my heart beating

"Abe's been asking questions, I have to go," Henry said.

Jo nodded, she wasn't going to argue with him because it was easier when he left right afterwards. It meant it still didn't mean anything; they were just friends with benefits only if he went home.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow," she said.

"Goodbye Jo," Henry answered, smiling at her.

She smiled back and pulled her hair into a ponytail, got her pajamas out and proceeded to put them on while Henry tried not to watch. "You know, you could tell Abe about us. I really don't mind."

"And how do you suggest I explain our situation to him?" Henry asked.

"It's the twenty-first century," Jo replied.

"I know. But what does that have to do with anything?"

Jo smirked. "Is Abe old-fashioned?"

"No, not terribly," Henry answered. "Why?"

"Well, sometimes people from his generation can be kind of stuffy about sex."

Henry snorted. "Believe me; Abe is definitely not stuffy about sex. He has had more girlfriends than I ever have."

Jo's smirk was transformed into a grin. "Ah. I see."

"I really have to go home now," Henry said.

"Okay."

He pulled his coat on and didn't kiss her because there wasn't room for goodbye kisses in their relationship. She waved and he waved back, closing her bedroom door behind him. Not expecting her to walk him to the door, he wasn't a cheap one night-stand but he was becoming a regular fixture at her apartment, she didn't think she needed to give him special treatment anymore. He was way past being a guest even though he still didn't know where she kept her drinking glasses and they hadn't really shared a meal since it had all started between them.

She waited until the door had closed to go out and lock it behind him.

Then she brushed her teeth and started the new season of Downton Abbey with a large bowl of ice cream. Getting lost in Mary Crawley's drama with Tony Gillingham was so much better than dwelling on her real life situation.

Even though her real life situation wasn't actually that bad. There could be worst things in life than a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with a good looking British man who treated her well.

She sighed and spooned some ice cream into her mouth and let it melt on her tongue.

But then there were better things in life too.

.

She didn't tell him it was the night before her anniversary when she invited him over a few days later. She knew she should have mentioned it, given him a choice, but she couldn't form the words.

Besides, she didn't want to feel the lump in her throat or the vice on her heart or be alone. She knew if she told Henry, he'd be a perfect gentleman and not give her what she needed. Sure, he might take her to get a drink or out for dinner but it wouldn't be the same thing as him driving her to distraction.

Jo mixed them a couple of drinks beforehand, downing the whiskey and flat soda water in two swallows.

"You're going to give yourself a terrible headache," Henry told her as he sipped on his own drink.

Good, Jo thought perversely as she pulled her t-shirt over her head and went over to him.

Henry smiled at her and put his hands on her hips and seizing her up. "You're beautiful," he said.

"No sweet talk," Jo retorted trying to hide the fact that she was flattered by his compliment.

He kissed her flat stomach and she closed her eyes, as she anchored her hands on his shoulders and willed him to get on with it. She released a shuddery sigh and tried to forget everything.

She cried afterwards and Henry tried to see what was wrong with her, asked her to talk to him. She didn't answer him; she picked herself up off the floor and went to the bathroom, turned the shower on and stood under the scalding water, covering her mouth to muffle her cries. She felt worse than when they had started out.

Jo realized sometimes sex didn't solve anything. Sometimes, it just made everything worse.

Henry was still there when she got out of the shower, wearing her husband's old Van Halen t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked anxiously.

"No!" Jo assured him. "No, you were great! There's just a lot going on."

"You know you can still talk to me," Henry told her. "Even though we're doing whatever it is we're doing, nothing has changed between us. Not really. I really wish you would talk to me, Jo."

Jo drew in a deep breath and then released it. "It's nothing, not really. Tomorrow's my anniversary."

"Oh Jo."

"I didn't tell you earlier because I needed not to feel anything," Jo said. "But I just ended up feeling worse, it didn't solve anything."

"Oh Jo," Henry repeated. "Jo, I'm sorry. If I had known, I would have never. . ."

"Well, you didn't know," Jo told him hollowly. "You didn't do anything wrong, you didn't do anything I didn't want to do."

"Do you need a friend tonight?" Henry asked. "Because if you really do, I'd like to be your friend."

Jo was going to shake her head, going to tell him that she just wanted to be alone. But she knew it wasn't actually true. If she were alone, she'd probably just drink more and watch her wedding DVD and look through her wedding pictures, wishing for a life that she couldn't have anymore.

She knew it wasn't healthy, using him to help her feel better about situations in her life. Allowing herself to stay stuck in the past, still married to her husband.

"Stay," Jo whispered. "Please."

So, he did.

And that was how Jo realized that sometimes all you needed was the presence of a good friend to make things better, not alcohol and sex.

She knew their arrangement would still stand because they both liked it. But she knew she could still depend on him for other things, regardless of the agreement they had come to.

It was a comforting thing to know.

TBC. . .

.

Author's Note II:

I had to rewrite this chapter a couple of times because I didn't know how to handle it without getting into explicit details. I am still going to avoid that for the duration of this story. My knowledge is severely limited and more importantly, I don't feel comfortable writing it. I know I've said that before though, thank you for your patience with that fact. I hope you liked this chapter and that you will tell me what you thought of it.

Until Next Time!

Love,

Holly, 5/20/2015_