This chapter is dedicated to all the readers that have put up with my shit and held on through my writer's block. But also, it is especially dedicated to SSAFunbar, aka, Brittany. I hope you enjoy dying... (PS please don't take it as offensive if you... you know... die and get raped...)

Season One Episode Four: Plain Sight

Summary: A serial rapist/ serial killer has a taste for middle class women in San Diego. Not only does he write a poem on their mirror, he glues their eyes open. In the end Gideon saves the day by convincing him that he will be famous if he lets his last victim go. Obviously he does let her go because all serial killers want to be famous.

Brittany The Step Aerobics Freak

Part One
TV: Step up! One, two, three, four!
Brittany: Step up! *Steps up* one, two, three, four, FIVE! SEE, BEAT YOU BY ONE STEP, BITCH!
Tv: You're doing great, keep going!
Brittany: Damn straight! I can go all night! *Steps down, steps up, steps down* *Stops* I feel a presence... a spiritual presence...
Unsub: (Whispers) Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! She can sense me... *Hides in closet*
Brittany: Hello? Is anyone there? *Searches around the room* Wait, murderers don't answer to hello... *Idea* Marco!
Unsub: Polo! Shit, I'm an idiot.
Brittany: Eep! A ghost!
Unsub: Uh... yeah... a ghost! Whoo... Lay down on the bed... Whoo...
Brittany: (Whispers) Oh shit! I can't talk to people- oh God, if I can't talk to people... How the HELL am I supposed to talk to a ghost... Oh my God! *Hyperventilating* What am I going to do!
Unsub: Are you on the bed yet?
Brittany: *Hyperventilating*
Unsub: Helloooo?
Brittany: *Idea* *Looks to window* (Whisper) Fuck this shit... *Tip-toes to window* *Un-locks window* Uh... Uh... Uh... Yeah... I... I'm on the bed... *Opens window*
Unsub: Great, now take your clothes off...
Brittany: Wow... you're a creepy ghost! Were you here when I took a shower this morning? *Climbs out window*
Unsub: Yes... I haunt your house... no duh. Now, are you undressed?
Brittany: Of course, because I'm totally stupid enough to listen to a voice in my closet... *Jumps out window* Ow! Damn it! Why did I buy a two story house! *Runs away, limping* Ghost busters!

Part Two
Brittany: So when I heard that there was a rapist out there... I wanted to come in because you know... I didn't really believe there was a ghost in my house *Shifty eyes*
Elle: Uh huh... well... so did you see the man/ ghost in your closet?
Brittany: Obviously not, otherwise I would have been sure he wasn't a ghost. Duh!
Elle: Okay, I can't handle this! Reid! Talk to the crazy chick!
Brittany: I'm not crazy! I just had a spiritual sense I was not alone! And the first reason why that came to my was that there was a ghost in my house! Okay! God, that bitch is PMSing...
Reid: You scare me.
Brittany: Excuse me?
Reid: No, not you, her. *points behind Brittany* She's been following me everywhere ever since she got kidnapped and shot in the head last month...
Me: Why won't you just love me?
Brittany: Right... and your partner calls me crazy...
Reid: *Shrugs* If we could get back to the... uh... closet man... So what did his voice sound like?
Brittany: Uh... it was calm and relaxed, but it still scared me.
Reid: And why did it scare you?
Brittany: Uh maybe because he was in my house? Maybe?
Reid: Yes, but I mean, was it his accent that scared you? Did he threaten you?
Brittany: Why would an accent scare me?
Reid: I don't know, look just tell me what he sounded like. Okay?
Brittany: The Swedish chef scares me sometimes...
Reid: Ah huh... but anyway, your attacker?
Brittany: Right, right... well I'm pretty sure he was American... he was male... and I don't know, he sounded old. Like not really old, but he wasn't a teenager. Maybe in the twenties or thirties.
Reid: Okay, thank you, that's good.
Brittany: Oh, I am good. I'm real good...

Part Three
Unsub: You got away from me once! You will not escape me again! I. AM. DEATH.
Brittany: No, you are Patrick.
Unsub: What?
Brittany: Death would be smarter... you're an idiot...
Unsub: Okay, that's it! I try to bring style back into murder, but what do I get? I get a stupid, unappreciative girl that's not even scared of anything!
Brittany: Chocolate milk...
Unsub: What?
Brittany: I'm scared of chocolate milk. Once I was at KFC on a date and my date said he could drink two litres of it in a minute. He could, but then he threw up and it came out his nose and went all over me.
Unsub: You went to KFC on a date? Girl, I give you better class than that, and Imma rape you...
Brittany: *Shrugs* They didn't even sell chocolate milk there... I didn't know where he got it...
Unsub: Right... well you're distracting me now so just lay down...
Gideon: No Brittany, don't lay down *Enters room*
Brittany: Okay, now I'm confused! Who am I supposed to listen to?
Unsub: Me!
Gideon: Me!
Unsub: Back off dude, she's mine!
Gideon: Don't you hurt her!
Brittany: Wow, two guys fighting over me... I feel like Bella Swan...
Unsub: OMG! You read that book! Isn't it like the best think you've ever like seen?
Gideon: Oh God! A Twihard! *Head shot* Boom, head shot biatch. That's from us Potheads!

So, my Criminals, which team are you? Pothead or Twihard? Nah, nah, jokes. But... keep R&Ring for more stupidity and more you in it! Whoo! And because I'm adding you in one by one and by when you reviewed, next up will be 'I Still Like It' aka Bay... congratulations.

So, thank you to all my reviewers and hopefully you will be dying in place of me soon! I seriously freaking love you all!