AN - We are giving credit to Stephenie Meyer so we don't get into trouble.

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Journal Entry Two – Meeting [1957]

As I record Bella' story some of what I include will be Bella's reactions and feelings as she later shared them with me.

There are a number of significant differences that occurred between our real encounter and the Twilight encounter. To begin with, my family did not live in Forks nor did Bella and I meet in the twenty-first century. For the most part, my family avoided smaller towns because it was not as easy to blend in. When I first met Bella we were living in Washington, but we lived outside of Tacoma and went to school in a suburb of the city. We did prefer, however, houses surrounded by woods and having some acreage to the property for the most obvious reason – hunting grounds.

This time around, I was pretending to be sixteen, and I was a sophomore in high school; Bella was a freshman at the time. As in the books, I have two sisters and two brothers, and even the names are mostly the same, except Rose. Her human name had been Rosalind, but she hated it. After she was changed, she made us change her name to Rose, and Mrs. Meyer, on one of the websites, said Emmett generally called her Rose when in fact we all did as per her preference. The rest of our names – except for our last names – she had correct in the book, which is why I first suspected Bella of having something to do with influencing the writer.

Anyway, Bella transferred to the school I was attending just before the Christmas of 1957, and it's true I did first see her in the school cafeteria at lunch. Unlike the book, my family and I did not always sit alone. We did have casual friends among the humans but they didn't know who or what we really were. We blend in well with humans and blending in helps make us less conspicuous. Not that that helped with Bella – no, Bella spotted us the moment she walked into the cafeteria, or I should say she spotted me. I'm not sure why she felt magnetically drawn to me, but she said I was the first person she saw when she walked through the cafeteria doors, and was unable to focus on anyone or anything else. On that first day, she had made friends with a girl who had chased after me when my family first moved into the area and started attending school, but I had always cold-shouldered her. Her name was actually Susie not Jessica.

Another fact that was accurately portrayed in the book concerns my gift of hearing people's thoughts, but in a few rare cases, I can project my thoughts into the minds of others. My sister Alice and my mom Esme are the only two minds into which I can project my thoughts. Of the eighty odd years I have been a vampire, those are the only two people I have ever found that I can easily transfer my thoughts to, and for the most part, I haven't been interested in sharing my thoughts with anyone else except my father Carlisle and then Bella after our relationship changed.

Bella's arrival had not been a surprise because I had heard about her in the minds of most of the students I encountered. Some of the thoughts about her were pleasant and others were not. As in the book, it was inevitable that at least one of the teenage boys would be attracted to her. In Bella's case, four boys had decided she would make the perfect girlfriend for them.

What was surprising about Bella as she walked into the lunchroom was the fact that I could not hear her thoughts. At first, I thought I was mistaken and I just couldn't recognize her voice, but after hearing her talk to Susie, I realized her voice was not among the throng of voices that filled the cafeteria. Before Bella, I had never met anyone whose thoughts I couldn't hear. It has remained so even to this day.

Another interesting similarity was that Bella did share one class with me, but it wasn't Biology; no, funny as it may seem, the class we shared was gym, and we didn't technically share the class since we were in different grades. Generally, the two classes were separate, but during the coldest winter months, the two gym teachers would find co-ed activities we could both partake of in the gym. I couldn't help but laugh at her that first day as we were having a co-ed class in the shared gymnasium because Bella really was rather uncoordinated and that's stating it mildly. Our classes had started square dancing the day before Bella arrived. My group had been short one female, so the girl's P.E. teacher had joined our group. On that day, Bella took her place and it was the first time I had close contact with Bella. I discovered two things instantly; one, she had trouble walking without stumbling, and two, the scent of her blood drove my thirst wild.

Fortunately, for me, gym was the last class of the day, and as we made contact during the dance, I knew I would be asking if I could give Bella a ride home. From that first moment that I touched her, I felt electrical surges pulsate through my body, and the scent of her blood was so heavenly that it made my mouth water (or maybe, in my case, you could say it made my mouth generate more venom). I endured her torturous temptation for 55 minutes, and it was the longest 55 minutes of class I ever had to endure. It was bad enough that we had to touch hands, but every 15 minutes Bella would stumble and I unconsciously would reach out to support her so she didn't fall. The contact with her soft warm body only heightened my awareness of her, and intensified my thirst for her blood.

Everyone in the family knew how Carlisle felt about us partaking of human blood, and for the most part, I agreed with him, but there were those times when the younger of us slipped and reverted to the 'old ways,' as we called them. After my extended contact with Bella, I knew this would be my slip, my first in thirty years. My last one had been during a rebellious period – once again, something Mrs. Meyer mentioned in Twilight – when I drank more human blood than animal, but, unlike the fictional Edward, I never caused anyone's death. That would be a heavy weight to bear on a person's conscience knowing they were the cause of another's demise, I mean other than changing them of course. It's no wonder that 'her' Edward felt like a monster.

As soon as the bell rang ending class, I positioned myself so I was walking beside Bella toward the locker rooms. Very quietly but with determination, I asked her, "Would you like a ride home today?" I learned, from the thoughts of others, that she rode the school bus home.

Bella stopped mid stride, turned toward me, and smiled shyly. "That would be nice."

I noticed that she had a very nice smile and very full red lips. I couldn't help but wonder if the redness of her lips was a result of the rich aroma of her blood. The closer I stood to her, the more alluring her blood's scent was to me.

I later discovered that part of her shyness around me was a result of the fact that she felt breathless whenever I was near her. During that first encounter, she felt sure I could hear her heart beat because, she claimed, it doubled its normal rate. She was right, I had, but I really hadn't paid any attention to it because my full attention was on the magnetism of her blood.

For me, it had been easier than I had expected. Casually, I said, "I'll meet you outside the locker room after you change," then I headed off to the boy's locker room with a broad smile of anticipation on my face.

While I changed, my senses tingled with anticipation. I could already taste her blood, and the thought of its rich sweet flavor only thrilled me more. I changed with vampire quickness and then positioned myself outside the girl's locker room impatiently waiting for Bella.

As I waited, Alice rushed over to me warning, "Edward, stop thinking like that. I know what you're planning, but it won't turn out the way you expect if you go through with this."

"What do you mean?" Usually her warnings were more concise; besides, I wasn't willing to give up the anticipated taste of Bella's blood.

"I'm not sure. I just know that this girl is different, but I can't see in what way. All I know is that things will not turn out the way you expect, and I can't tell if that is a bad or good thing." Alice tilted her head slightly as if trying to see around a corner then shook her head. "No, I can't tell you any more than that because something is blocking me. Edward, just change your plans, okay? Besides, what would Carlisle say if he knew what you were thinking?" I could tell she really was concerned, but she hadn't outright said not to sample Bella's blood. Of course, since that was my intension, it was easy enough to presume that was what she meant, but I focused solely on my goal and decided since Alice hadn't specifically mentions Bella's blood, then I would proceed with plans and achieve my ultimate goal of sampling Bella's alluring blood. Besides, I thought, what harm could a small sample cause?

"I'll be careful Alice, and I'll tell you everything after I get home." I had placed my hand reassuringly on her shoulder and just before she walked off, she kissed me lightly on the check.

Bella saw Alice kiss me before she left, and I noticed a guarded look in Bella's eyes. Bella's heartbeat nearly stopped at that moment. She had already decided she liked me, and my offer of a ride had given her hope that I might like her, but Alice's kiss lead her to suspect I was toying with her maybe as a cruel joke.

"You're girlfriend?" She asked hesitantly with downcast eyes.

"No, she's one of my sisters. Believe me, if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't be offering you a ride home. Currently, I am happily unattached."

I thought it best to let her know there was no girlfriend waiting in the wings to make a scene. Besides, I had never meet any girl who I felt drawn to in that way, so although I had friends that were girls, I had never had any girlfriends much to the regret of the many who wished otherwise.

"She is beautiful," Bella commented.

I simply replied, "I guess so." I never really thought of either of my sisters as beautiful, so it seemed unusual to me that Bella would notice. A few years later she admitted she had been jealous of Alice at first because of how beautiful and graceful she was, and even more so for the few minutes that she thought Alice might have been my girlfriend.

Since I had not been concerned with Alice's looks, and I had assured Bella I didn't have a girlfriend, I asked, "Are you ready?" as I offered her my arm.

"I guess," a slight smile appeared on her full lips as she replied and took my pro-offered arm, but her actions were still hesitant as if she were unsure of how to react to my offer.

After helping Bella into my car, I slid into the driver's seat and asked, "Have you seen much of Tacoma since you arrived?"

"No," she shyly glanced over toward me. "Mom and Dad haven't had time to show me any of the sights."

I flashed my best smile at her and looked deeply into her eyes hoping to help her relax. "Would you mind if I showed you some of the local places of interest?" Being new to the area, I thought she might be interested in knowing where the high school students usually gathered, and then I planned to take her to the park where there was a convenient wooded path, which would allow us to be alone. I had not relinquished the idea of sampling her blood, but Alice's warning made me more cautious about the location to take my sample.

"I guess that would be okay." Her eyes glazed over slightly, but that was a normal reaction when we stared intently at our intended victims, if you wanted to call them victims. In this case, I was looking at her as a donor although she was an unknowing and unwilling one.

I pointed out each notable place as I drove past the more popular stores, fast food places, and movie theaters before driving to the park. I mentioned some the of the usual gathering times, like right after school during the week, except Friday, and then the Saturday night rally times depending on what group you were with at the time. I mentioned that students generally reserved Friday nights for the football games in the fall and basketball games during the early spring.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I said, "And sometimes groups get together to have picnics in this park. There are a number of nature trails for those who like that sort of thing and other sites for those who don't like to walk through the woods. Would you like to look around?" I smiled pleasantly at her and once again looked deeply into her eyes. This time I noticed that her eyes were extremely deep, like looking into two inviting pools. I felt drawn into her stare, and wondered if this was how humans felt when I stared intently into their eyes. Did they feel like they were falling? Was it as pleasant a feeling as I felt myself as I fell into Bella's eyes? Was this what was meant when they said someone was mesmerized by the look of another? If it hadn't been for someone slamming a car door nearby, I don't know how long I would have sat enthralled as I gazed at her, but the noise finally broke our contact. Until then, we had our eyes locked on each other and neither of us had attempted to break away.

After the contact was broken, I heard Bella take a deep breath before she replied, "That would be nice." Her voice, I noticed, had an ethereal quality to it, as if she were on some other plane of existence than the rest of the human world. That fact never registered as odd, but if I had taken the time to think about it, rather than her blood, I might have had time to contemplate all of her differences from other normal humans.

I quickly got out of the car and rushed over to her side so I could open the door for her. I reached out my hand to help her out of the car, and as she placed her hand in mine, I felt those surges once again rippling through my cold body. I had never experienced sensations like that when touching any other human; I began to wonder if Alice was correct in her warning about this experience not turning out as I had expected. I only wanted to lure Bella into the woods and sample some of her blood, and then I planned to take her home after conveniently altering her memory of our time together and that, in my mind, would be the end of our contact with each other.

The ability to alter a human's memory about his or her vampire encounter was an effective trait that all vampires seemed to share. It generally occurred while we were drinking their blood; Carlisle believed it had something to do with our physical nearness to them, and somehow that gave us a passageway to their minds so we could slightly alter the memory of what had occurred thereby keeping our existence hidden from humans. It also helped that we could slightly mesmerize our so-called victims with intense eye contact.

I honestly believed that I would have the same overpowering affect on Bella, but Bella had been unique even from the beginning. As we walked through the woods on a deserted path, I weighed the consequences of my actions. If I only tasted her blood, I told myself, I would be satisfied. Then Alice's warning whispered through those thoughts calling for restraint and caution. Finally, I saw the disappointed look I knew would be on Carlisle's face when he learned what I had done. With all the new sensations I was experiencing, Alice's warning, and a building internal sense of uneasiness, I began to wonder if my simple plan to sample Bella's blood was going to end up being more complicated than I could ever imagine.

In the end, I didn't cause Bella's blood to flow.

Just as we were about to immerge from the woods into the open parking lot, Bella reached out toward a broken branch, but she missed seeing the sharp point on the end of it. As a result, she suffered a nasty cut on her hand. The aroma of her blood as it flowed out overpowered me, so I carefully lifted her hand and licked the blood as it ran down her hand being careful not to allow my mouth to have contact with her open wound. I had no desire, at that time, to infect her with my venom.

I instantly noticed two things as I tasted the sweet nourishing fluid, the shock on Bella's face because of my actions and a wrinkling of her nose as if she smelt something awful; then she passed out. I caught her before she could hit the ground, and I instantly blamed myself for what had happened. I gently carried her to the car and laid her on the back seat. Smiling slightly, I remembered the handkerchief Esme insisted each of us 'boys' carry in our pocket every time we left the house; she always said we could never tell when it might be needed. Well, I finally had a use for it, so I took it out and wrapped it around Bella's hand but only after I had carefully licked every last drop of divinely scrumptious blood that had spilled from her hand and run down her soft, warm arm. I had known her blood smelt delicious, but I had never expected it to taste so intoxicatingly sweet. In all my years as a vampire, I had never tasted anything else like it nor could I compare it to anything else I ever remembered tasting. I kept reminding myself that I could not let anything happen to her because there were numerous people who saw us leave school together.

After I finished wrapping her hand, I noticed her eyes slowly opening. For the second time, I looked into her eyes and fell into those limpid pools of brown. As I continued to stare into them, I could see a myriad of questions beginning to rise to the surface. Many of those questions I knew I could not answer truthfully.

Her first words shocked me because I wasn't expecting them. "You licked my blood." It wasn't a question but a statement of fact, and her next comment was also unexpected. "What are you? Some type of vampire or just a plain kook?"

I didn't want to scare her off and both choices she offered could do just that, so I instinctively looked straight into her eyes trying to make her remember my version of what happened. I counted on having the ability to alter her perception of the events by staring deeply and intently into her beautiful brown eyes. Even then, when all I honestly believed I was interested in was her blood, I still noted every nuance of her physical features. As I stared into her eyes, I noticed minute silver speckles that caused her eyes to sparkle.

"Bella, you cut your hand and fainted."

"I did cut my hand, but then you licked the blood as it ran down my hand," she was staring back at me just as intently as I was staring at her.

"Yes, you cut your hand, then you fainted and after carrying you to the car, I wiped away the blood and wrapped your hand. See," I said pointing to her strangely bandaged hand.

"I don't deny I passed out, or that you bandaged my hand, but I do know you licked my blood first. Only kooks and vampires drink blood, but you don't look like someone who's slightly crazy, so that only leaves . . ." her eyes opened wider as she stopped speaking. She kept her eyes locked on mine never once shifting her deep intense gaze.

I looked deeply into her eyes willing her to believe what I was saying but I felt like I was running into a brick wall. I knew I couldn't read her mind, but it had never occurred to me that I would be unable to alter her memory. "No Bella." I felt like I was slipping deeper into her gaze, and I felt as if she were invading my mind. It had always been easy for me to invade the thoughts and minds of others, but now I knew how others must have felt when I intruded into their minds because I felt like she was invading mine.

Her next words were even more startling because they were so matter of fact. "You are a vampire. Do you plan to drink all of my blood?" At which she tilted her head exposing her pale slender neck offering herself to me.

As tempting as her offer was at that moment, I was so taken back that I chuckled. I visualized Emmett rolling on the ground laughing if he discovered what had just happened, but to Bella I replied, "No, I'll take you home now." I was flustered and felt unsure of how to handle the fact that she knew what I was, nor did I know what to do since I had been unable to wipe away her memory of me taking her blood.

I did learn later that she had definitely been offering herself to me. Bella told me that she had decided she might as well learn right then whether I was intent on harming her or not.

"No, you're not a vampire, or no, you won't drink all of my blood?" Her gaze held me in my place; now she was mesmerizing me.

For the first time, I felt trapped; I felt like the victim who wasn't able to stop what was happening. My only reply was a weak, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Edward," she replied quietly. Her use of my name sent more ripples of pleasure coursing through my body. "I know what you just did, and unless you're some kind of kook, which I don't believe, then you're a vampire." I watched as her blush deepened and for the first time I noticed her full red lips were extremely tempting.

She must have seen the shock I felt reflected in my eyes – shock caused not only by her statement but by the brief temptation I felt as I stared at her lips – because she meant to reassure me with her next comment. "I promise Edward, I won't say anything to anyone."

Once again, I felt as if she had invaded my mind because she answered the question that had just formed in mine about her telling someone about her recent experience with me.

All I could manage to say was, "I'm sure you won't," but I wasn't sure if I believed it. I took her straight home from there and didn't say another word to her during the ride. I was relieved when I realized she wasn't going to try to start a conversation with me.

The fear she saw my eyes when I realized I couldn't alter her memories puzzled her. During the drive to her house, she reflected on what happened and realized that to her it didn't matter. What happened didn't change her feelings for me one bit. All that mattered to Bella was the feeling she had when my tongue touched her skin, the little surges of pleasure she felt whenever we made contact, how she felt when I stared into her eyes, and how the sincerity of my smile made her feel warm inside. She kept all these thoughts to herself and didn't share them with me for the next year.

As I helped her out of the car at her house, she gave me a wistful hopeful look, as if I would finally say something, but I only managed a quick "Good bye," and hurriedly entered my car and drove home.

It was no surprise to hear Alice's voice before I saw her. 'I can't believe you did that!'

I shot back, 'I didn't allow it; it just happened.' I thought she meant about Bella remembering what happened.

'Don't lie to me Edward! You meant to drink from her. How could you? What will Carlisle say? Do you realize how serious this could become?'

'Stop Alice, you don't need to yell.' I had learned a long time ago that a person could project their thoughts so they sounded like they were yelling. Shortly after I first met Alice, I also discovered that she was extremely good at making her thoughts sound like shouts. 'I thought you said you knew what I was going to do. Why didn't you warn me she was going to injure herself?'

'I didn't see that. I just saw what you were planning to do, and I thought that warning you would stop you.'

'Well you saw wrong, and how was I to know she would remember, and that I would have no affect on her mind?'

'She knows? Carlisle is going to be upset about that too.'

'I know Carlisle will be upset, but I couldn't resist her blood once it started to flow. You can't even begin to imagine how alluring the smell was or how delectable it tasted. I had no idea anything thing could taste that sweet and delicious. It was absolutely life giving. No one ever told me blood could taste like that.' I had pulled up to the house and exited my car. We continued our silent argument as we entered the house.

'But Edward, she knows. Now she'll tell. We have to let everyone know and we'll have to move as quickly as possible.' Her sadness about moving filled her lovely light hazel eyes.

'She promised she would tell about what happened.'

'And you believed her? Why for heaven's sake?'

'I could see the truth in her eyes.' As we walked in the front door, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose greeted us. None of them looked too pleased. 'You didn't tell them about this, did you?'

I looked at her questioningly. If they knew this could get messy. None of them would be happy to know a human knew our secret. Besides, it just wasn't acceptable.

That night the first major argument with my family erupted over Bella. The argument became a recurrent family event for the next two months because try as I might, I couldn't stay away from Bella's blood.

My first taste of her blood only drew me back for more until I began to lust after her blood. At that time, I didn't know about drug addictions, so I saw myself more as an alcoholic lured back by the temptations of the alcohol. I would tell myself if I took one more taste that would be all I needed, but I honestly knew I wouldn't be able to stop. Her blood just continued to call to me, but then I would remind myself that she was only 15 years old and too young to become a reliable source of fresh blood. It seemed that the younger a human was, the more susceptible they were to ill health especially with repeated blood loss; the same applied to the elderly. The best ages for us to use as a more stable human blood source were from 20 to 45. It was unfortunate however that during that first year, her blood continually called to me, but I did try to keep as much distance between us as possible. I might not have been able to stay away totally from her blood, but I definitely was able to shun her during most of the day.

After that first time in the park, I was able to resist her blood for a little over a month, but then we had another gym class that threw us together. Her proximity breached my resistance but this time I decided to sneak into her room while she was sleeping. I thought it would be safer and she wouldn't remember my visit. I was careful to leave no visible mark on her. I found a place on the back of her neck near her hairline and I used my fingernail to make a small cut. I avoided putting my mouth directly on the cut, and I only licked what blood ran from it. It wasn't much, but its sweet refreshing taste was like cool drops of water to a dying man in the desert.

What I hadn't realized was that my entry into Bella's room had aroused her. In fact, she said it was my scent that woke her up, but she stayed perfectly still even as I made the small cut on the back of her neck. I should have realized she was awake, but never having heard the sound of her breathing while she was asleep, I didn't recognize the small indications that I discovered later that informed me she was awake. It was too bad I never visited her while she was truly asleep, because then I would have learned much earlier how she really felt about me.

During the next month, even though I had maintained my distance, Bella's trust in me grew. I'm not sure why this happened, but she said as she watched me, she learned I could be trusted. Maybe it didn't hurt that while in gym together, I had appointed myself her bodyguard and protector so she didn't hurt herself or anyone else even though I seldom spoke to her during that time.

If I could say one thing about Bella that was an absolute truth, it was that she couldn't avoid accidents or mishaps. She was a danger to herself and others in every gym class that we shared, and for some reason, I had devoted myself to the task of protecting her and everyone she met; a task that kept me busy during our shared gym classes. Consequently, she learned that I wasn't a threat to her and that my family wasn't a threat to her, and for her own inimitable reasons, she believed she could trust me with her life when I came to draw more blood from her in the middle of the night.

She told me she knew it was a need, but not a need that would threaten her life, so she decided I could have whatever I took from her. When she finally informed me of this, I was speechless and then astonished that any human could be so open and trusting with one of us, no less my entire family; however, I learned none of this until after our relationship changed.

After that first nightly visit, I was able to resist the call of her blood for three months before I finally broke down again and paid another midnight visit to her room. This continued for half a year – I would resist and then break down, but the space in-between became longer. One thing that helped lengthen the space between visits was the weather warming up; as a result, our gym classes become separated more often, so I had less contact with Bella, and outside of class, I avoided her as much as possible.

Even though I avoided contact with Bella during that half year, my brothers and sister went from arguing with me about the dangers she presented to befriending her. According to Alice, it was their way of assuring her silence, but I noticed Alice and Emmet developing an extremely friendly relationship with her. In fact, Alice was making Bella her best friend while Emmett was treating her like his favorite little sister.

I was blissfully unaware of Bella's knowledge about my nightly visits, but one day after school, she hinted that they might not be a secret to her. She cornered me near my locker and said, "I've been dreaming that you visit me while I sleep. When I wake up in the morning, after having one of those dreams, I always feel excited as if I had the most attractive, wonderful person imaginable sneaking into my room and savoring me. Interesting, isn't it?" She had such an alluring smile and her eyes were mesmerizing me, and at the same time, she blushed as she spoke. Then she turned abruptly and walked away.

I couldn't help but notice how gracefully she moved, and how alluring the sway of her hips was; it took everything I had to fix my concentration on the fact that she knew I had been coming into her room at night. I reminded myself that all I desired of her was her blood, nothing else, but I also decided in that moment that I would stay as far away from her as possible and stop exploiting her for her deliciously alluring blood.

My resolve held for the rest of the year even though her friendship with Alice and my brothers grew and her presence was a constant reminder of what I was forfeiting. Still, I was able to resist Bella's siren call until her sixteenth birthday when everything changed.

Revised 5/30/08

Posted 5/30/08