Disc: don't own Jonathan or Eddie

"Wait!" Edward Nygma screeched before Jonathan Crane entered the cabin. Jonathan sighed and turned around.

"Now what?"

The Riddler leaned down, snatching something from the ground beside him.

"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this!" he flourished the stick he'd just picked up and handed it to the Scarecrow.

"Wow." Jonathan said, words dripping with sarcasm, "I honestly don't know how to thank you."

Eddie took a step back and raised his hands. "Hey, I'm not gonna poke that thing with a stick."

"Oh, so you want me to do it for you, is that right? Thank you so much."

Eddie grinned. "You're welcome."

Jonathan rolled his eyes and squared his shoulders, heading into the dim interior of the cabin.

A sound rustled from his right. Brandishing the stick as if it were the mightiest of swords, Jonathan whirled on the sound.

He immediately felt quite silly, standing there like a knight in shining armor about to defeat…nothing.

Suddenly another rustle came from his left. Jonathan whirled again, once more waving the stick menacingly in the air.

Nothing.

"Hmm." Jonathan murmured, letting the stick drop to his side. Maybe Eddie had been mistaken. Or the 'giant mutant woodchuck' had simply run off. Either way, there was nothing here…Turning, the Master of Fear began to head back out into the sunlight to try to convince the Riddler that the coast was clear.

And then it happened.

One moment Jonathan was walking towards the door, the next, something extremely large and furry was attached to his leg.

"GAH!" Jonathan exclaimed, kicking at the creature. "GET OFF!"

The gigantic thing did not heed the Master of Fear's instruction, and instead decided it was going to try to climb up his pant leg.

Jonathan kicked furiously, trying to free his leg of the thing. Eddie had been right. The woodchuck was huge.

And it wasn't happy at having its home invaded.

On top of this, all of the Master of Fear's kicking, combined with the weight of the animal, caused Jonathan to over-balance, sending him sprawling on his backside. The woodchuck, using this turn of events to his advantage, began to walk slowly and deliberately up Jonathan's body, towards his head, growling menacingly all the way.

MEANWHILE

Edward Nygma's eyes widened as he heard the Master of Fear's shout. Then came 'GET OFF!' and the Riddler's worst fears were confirmed.

THE WOODCHUCK WAS EATING JONATHAN!

MEANWHILE

Jonathan Crane writhed back and forth as the woodchuck advanced, trying to throw the animal off and at the same time, inconspicuously reach for the stick, which he had dropped. The woodchuck hissed at him and clung on tighter, pressing its needle-like claws into the Master of Fear's legs.

Jonathan's left eye twitched. It was getting closer. If he could just reach that stick he could…"AUGH! OW! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! I AM NOT MEANT TO BE CLIMBED! NO HIGHER, YOU HEAR ME? OR I WILL…"

Suddenly, a shout came from the door, and Jonathan twisted his neck to see the outline of the Riddler, edged with the late-afternoon sunlight.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" and with another mighty war-cry, the Prince of Puzzles dove for the stick and began to smack the woodchuck for all he was worth. "TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT TOO! YOU WILL NOT EAT HIM!"

Jonathan wriggled around, trying to avoid the blows. "Eddie! Be careful! I'm under him and OOOOOH….ouch. That was me."

The woodchuck, thoroughly confused and angered all the more by its valiant attacker, growled and snapped, sinking its teeth deep into the stick. The Riddler gave a rather un-mighty squeak of terror and threw the stick, snarling woodchuck and all, out the door, slamming it behind it.

For a moment, the two men just looked at each other. Then Eddie clapped his hands, doing a little impromptu dance of triumph. "I DID IT! I DEFEATED THE WOODCHUCK!"

Jonathan blinked and then stood, wincing and breathing heavily. He turned to Eddie. "You…you…COULD HAVE KILLED ME!"

Eddie stared at him. "I got the woodchuck."

But Jonathan wasn't listening. "YOU SENT ME IN HERE WITH A RABID OVERGROWN RODENT! IT COULD HAVE BITTEN ME! DID IT BITE ME? I MIGHT HAVE RABIES!"

Eddie blinked. "Well, you certainly are foaming at the mouth."

"NOT FUNNY, EDWARD!"

The Riddler brushed himself off gripped Jonathan by the shoulders. "I don't see any blood, so it probably didn't bite you. And I didn't make you come in here…"

Jonathan, feeling somewhat better after his outburst, let out an explosive sigh. "Yeah…well, you're right. Um…thanks."

Eddie grinned. "No problem! Oh, and…um…you're going to need some new pants…they're…um…in the RV."

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Why would I need…" then he looked down. "Oh. Oh, I see. Ahem. Well, then…yes, I'll just go…"

And the Master of Fear quickly exited the cabin to go change, keeping his hands over the rather large hole in his pants and checking around him for abnormally large woodchucks.