1 Title: BIG FELLOWSHIP
Author: Doodlez
Chapter: 4 (Wow, 4 chapters already! **Beams*)
Note: I'm so…so…so sorry for being so slow. I'm busy! Stupid school. I hate all this…school-related stuff. Hey, everyone! Let's go burn down ALL the schools! Who's with me, yay or nay?!
Mob: …Which one means yes?
Me: (Sigh) Yay.
Mob: YAAAAAAY!
Yes, that was a Robin Hood: Men in Tights reference. Hey. That gives me a wicked idea… LOTR/men in Tights? I'm …afraid…
Oh, and I just saw LOTR again, for my own pleasure and for the benefit of all you LOTR fans out there…I know you're there. Along with the Borimor fans, right? Yeah, I see you…
…Wait…it's spelled "Borimor", right? …Stupid name.
I've also been working on my Pippin accent. I'll try my best to make him sound more Scottish and less …well, less something else. Again, sorry for taking so long.
I know advertising for other stories is kind of odd, but… people… please check out Bagenders! That fanfic so rocks…
1:00 PM
Gollum and Frodo are still in the kitchen. Frodo's face is still quite pale, and Gollum's staying his nice, healthy blue-ish green.
Gollum rips off the top of a Pixie Stix packet and dumps it into a Frosted Flakes cereal box, muttering inaudibly to himself, hissing and speaking in his lispy voice. "Hssss, Sssssssmeagol must eat sssssugar to erasssssse mind of problemssssss…" He suddenly starts to sob, part from self-pity, part from the sugar-high, and wraps his arms around Frodo, weeping openly onto his shoulder. Frodo's left eye twitches, and he tries desperately to get away. Gollum has Frodo in a death grip and won't let go.
1:15
Sam and Aragorn are having a quiet yet heated discussion outside on the lawn. Apparently, they've been at it for quite some time, because their rope is only a couple inches long.
Sam hisses, glaring at Aragorn "Mister Frodo is mine…And you had best back off, Mister Strider!"
Aragorn cuffs Sam on the side of the head "Who says he's yours?! …I mean… who even says that I'm attracted to him?! You disgusting git!"
"Me! I was with him first! And I've seen you…trying to sneak a peek at him when we're taking our morning ba--" Aragorn cuts off Sam by clapping a hand over his mouth and smiling friendly-like to Gimli and Merry, who were walking by.
"Heh, hello, Merry…Gimli…"
Merry and Gimli just give them an odd look and continue walking. They seem to be getting along, and their rope is about two and a half feet long now. Once out of sight, they resume holding hands. Aragorn makes sure they're out of earshot before he removes his hand from Sam's mouth and examines the red pockmarks where the stubborn hobbit had been gnawing on it. "Youuuu…"
Sam sticks out his tongue "Pervy hobbit-fancier!"
"Impish little slime!"
"Pansy!"
"Git!"
"Bastard!"
"Cretin!"
This namecalling continues until both voices are so hoarse that a female bullfrog mistook their shouts for two males having a mating call frenzy and hopped over, only to be outrageously disappointed, and slinks back to her pond.
1:30
Legolas and Boromir (Borimor? Boromir? Argh.) sit on opposite ends of the couch, sharing the same theory that if nothing is said, there's no chance of an argument or disagreement, therefore, the rope does not shrink. They blankly stare at the TV, watching a bad soap opera. Both seemed too spaced out to even be paying any attention to the plot, but this was not the case.
"Why did you call me to your room, Mai?"
"Oh, Jack… I'm so sorry…"
"Mai, sit down and tell me what's wrong."
"Jack… do you remember when, after the shark-attack-turned-amnesia- incident? I was staying in the hospital? And William would visit me?"
"William? My half-brother's friend's cousin?"
"Yes… well… that night, when I got out of the hospital… and William dropped me off at my apartment…"
Jack gasps. "You…"
"Yes, Jack… I'm pregnant."
A lone tear trickles down Boromir's face, and he bites his lip, holding back a sob. Legolas weeps openly, wailing into his pillow. "NO, Mai! Why? Why did you do it… (Sob) Whyyyyy…" Boromir grabs a box of tissues and blows his nose, handing the box to Legolas, who takes out a few tissues and wipes his face, smearing mascara and eyeliner.
"Y-y'know, Legolas… I-it could be Jack's baby…"
"Boromir… you just could be right!"
This would have turned into a very graphic make-out fest if the author hadn't started to feel sick and threw Gandalf and Pippin into the scene.
Gandalf and Pippin had apparently been into Gandalf's stash of hobbit weed, and were stumbling and weaving down the hall, singing at an annoyingly high volume. The lyrics of the song are basically incomprehensible, due to Pippin's accent and Gandalf's drunken slur, but the chorus can be made out:
"(Hic) Hoot, mannn, out of me way, who da ya think ya arrrre…" they erupt into gales of laughter and both try to take a drag from the same pipe, but only manage to bump into each other and lose their balance, toppling over and falling onto the couch, where Boromir and Legolas were sitting.
Pippin looks up at Boromir and grins widely, patting his cheek affectionately. "Oy, Borry… Ah never got ta thank yew for killing y'self so 'zat me'n Merry could get cappy-tured by d'Orcs, 'ight? Ha ha ha ha ha!…"
Gandalf also laughs, slapping his knee so violently that the couch shudders and creaks, threatening to break. Legolas tries to get away, then remembers he's tied to Boromir, and just edges as far away from the wizard and hobbit as he can.
Pippin begins to sing again, mumbling "Hoot" a few times, and suddenly falls asleep in Boromir's lap, snoring contentedly. Gandalf pops his head up over the armrest, sees the sleeping hobbit, and decides that this is also a good time for a nap. He staggers to his feet and stumbles to his room, dragging Pippin behind on the rope. Room 1 is heard slamming shut, and loud snores not far behind.
Legolas and Boromir look at each other, lost for words. They hadn't seen anyone quite so high since Bilbo's eleventy-first birthday party. The romantic fanfare from the soap opera grabs their attention again, and they turn back to 'Loving Love'.
6:00 PM
((Yes, we're skipping all that time between then and now. See, my Toblerone supply is running low, and the sugar high is starting to wear off... Sorry. I sincerely apologize. To prevent this from happening again, O Great Big Fellowship fans, just send me a year's supply of candy for my birthday (May 13th). Your donations are greatly appreciated. Thank you.))
"Ow! Legolas! You burnt my hand again! Tell me when you're going to move your arm, please…"
"Sorry, Boromir, but the green onions needed mincing—Gollum, Frodo, out. Out! Shoo!" Legolas nudged the two creatures out of the kitchen area with his boot. Frodo gave Legolas a wilting look, greatly desiring company other than the slimy green former hobbit he was attached to. Legolas turns away, trying to avoid the puppy-eyed stare. "Frodo, please, don't look at me like that…"
"Sssssss, Smeagol climb tree, yesssss…" Gollum hisses and starts racing outside, dragging Frodo behind. He slides open the glass door and leaps into the large maple tree in the backyard, slithering up the trunk like a lizard/cockroach/squirrel thing. Frodo is pulled against his will up into the branches, managing to squeak "Help--" before disappearing into the foliage.
6:15 PM
The Horn of Gondor blasts three times, calling everyone to dinner.
Gimli and Merry are first to show, bearing no scars or signs of mental agony. They take a seat on one side of the dining-room table. Sam and Aragorn sit down and scoot their chairs as far away from each other as possible, though it's hard when they only have one inch of rope left between them, and can only get about arm's length from each other. Even then, it's hard to eat.
Gollum appears, dragging Frodo behind, and hunches over in a chair next to Gimli, rubbing his hands together and drooling onto the tablecloth. "Oooo, Preciousssss is to be fed…" Frodo sits numbly, having the same vacant expression as he once did when he was first tied to Gollum. Sam shoots his most sympathetic look at Frodo, who doesn't seem to notice.
Legolas and Boromir sit down at the head of the table. Legolas looks over at Gimli and Merry holding hands, and watches them, shocked, mouth agape. He soon recovers, and glares. He would have a little chat with the dwarf later.
Gandalf and Pippin finally show up, looking bedraggled (Not too uncommon for Gandalf) and in pain. Pippin rubs his temples and falls into a chair, blinking and groaning. "Ummgfh… oh, me achin' head…"
Gandalf, though not looking as bad as Pippin, is also pretty sick, and shakes his head to clear it. "What's fer dinner?…"
Legolas stands up, almost never skipping the chance to show off about anything, even when he's mad at someone. "Beef casserole, fresh grilled salmon, steamed cauliflower…" he stops, realizing everyone's too busy eating to listen. He smiles, taking this as a compliment, and sits, eating as well.
A/N: Happy ending, right? Heh heh. We shall see. Remember, there's still a whole night and a morning to go until they're unhandcuffed! What happens in those beds? Stay tuned to Big Fellowship to find out! Begin commercial break
Author: Doodlez
Chapter: 4 (Wow, 4 chapters already! **Beams*)
Note: I'm so…so…so sorry for being so slow. I'm busy! Stupid school. I hate all this…school-related stuff. Hey, everyone! Let's go burn down ALL the schools! Who's with me, yay or nay?!
Mob: …Which one means yes?
Me: (Sigh) Yay.
Mob: YAAAAAAY!
Yes, that was a Robin Hood: Men in Tights reference. Hey. That gives me a wicked idea… LOTR/men in Tights? I'm …afraid…
Oh, and I just saw LOTR again, for my own pleasure and for the benefit of all you LOTR fans out there…I know you're there. Along with the Borimor fans, right? Yeah, I see you…
…Wait…it's spelled "Borimor", right? …Stupid name.
I've also been working on my Pippin accent. I'll try my best to make him sound more Scottish and less …well, less something else. Again, sorry for taking so long.
I know advertising for other stories is kind of odd, but… people… please check out Bagenders! That fanfic so rocks…
1:00 PM
Gollum and Frodo are still in the kitchen. Frodo's face is still quite pale, and Gollum's staying his nice, healthy blue-ish green.
Gollum rips off the top of a Pixie Stix packet and dumps it into a Frosted Flakes cereal box, muttering inaudibly to himself, hissing and speaking in his lispy voice. "Hssss, Sssssssmeagol must eat sssssugar to erasssssse mind of problemssssss…" He suddenly starts to sob, part from self-pity, part from the sugar-high, and wraps his arms around Frodo, weeping openly onto his shoulder. Frodo's left eye twitches, and he tries desperately to get away. Gollum has Frodo in a death grip and won't let go.
1:15
Sam and Aragorn are having a quiet yet heated discussion outside on the lawn. Apparently, they've been at it for quite some time, because their rope is only a couple inches long.
Sam hisses, glaring at Aragorn "Mister Frodo is mine…And you had best back off, Mister Strider!"
Aragorn cuffs Sam on the side of the head "Who says he's yours?! …I mean… who even says that I'm attracted to him?! You disgusting git!"
"Me! I was with him first! And I've seen you…trying to sneak a peek at him when we're taking our morning ba--" Aragorn cuts off Sam by clapping a hand over his mouth and smiling friendly-like to Gimli and Merry, who were walking by.
"Heh, hello, Merry…Gimli…"
Merry and Gimli just give them an odd look and continue walking. They seem to be getting along, and their rope is about two and a half feet long now. Once out of sight, they resume holding hands. Aragorn makes sure they're out of earshot before he removes his hand from Sam's mouth and examines the red pockmarks where the stubborn hobbit had been gnawing on it. "Youuuu…"
Sam sticks out his tongue "Pervy hobbit-fancier!"
"Impish little slime!"
"Pansy!"
"Git!"
"Bastard!"
"Cretin!"
This namecalling continues until both voices are so hoarse that a female bullfrog mistook their shouts for two males having a mating call frenzy and hopped over, only to be outrageously disappointed, and slinks back to her pond.
1:30
Legolas and Boromir (Borimor? Boromir? Argh.) sit on opposite ends of the couch, sharing the same theory that if nothing is said, there's no chance of an argument or disagreement, therefore, the rope does not shrink. They blankly stare at the TV, watching a bad soap opera. Both seemed too spaced out to even be paying any attention to the plot, but this was not the case.
"Why did you call me to your room, Mai?"
"Oh, Jack… I'm so sorry…"
"Mai, sit down and tell me what's wrong."
"Jack… do you remember when, after the shark-attack-turned-amnesia- incident? I was staying in the hospital? And William would visit me?"
"William? My half-brother's friend's cousin?"
"Yes… well… that night, when I got out of the hospital… and William dropped me off at my apartment…"
Jack gasps. "You…"
"Yes, Jack… I'm pregnant."
A lone tear trickles down Boromir's face, and he bites his lip, holding back a sob. Legolas weeps openly, wailing into his pillow. "NO, Mai! Why? Why did you do it… (Sob) Whyyyyy…" Boromir grabs a box of tissues and blows his nose, handing the box to Legolas, who takes out a few tissues and wipes his face, smearing mascara and eyeliner.
"Y-y'know, Legolas… I-it could be Jack's baby…"
"Boromir… you just could be right!"
This would have turned into a very graphic make-out fest if the author hadn't started to feel sick and threw Gandalf and Pippin into the scene.
Gandalf and Pippin had apparently been into Gandalf's stash of hobbit weed, and were stumbling and weaving down the hall, singing at an annoyingly high volume. The lyrics of the song are basically incomprehensible, due to Pippin's accent and Gandalf's drunken slur, but the chorus can be made out:
"(Hic) Hoot, mannn, out of me way, who da ya think ya arrrre…" they erupt into gales of laughter and both try to take a drag from the same pipe, but only manage to bump into each other and lose their balance, toppling over and falling onto the couch, where Boromir and Legolas were sitting.
Pippin looks up at Boromir and grins widely, patting his cheek affectionately. "Oy, Borry… Ah never got ta thank yew for killing y'self so 'zat me'n Merry could get cappy-tured by d'Orcs, 'ight? Ha ha ha ha ha!…"
Gandalf also laughs, slapping his knee so violently that the couch shudders and creaks, threatening to break. Legolas tries to get away, then remembers he's tied to Boromir, and just edges as far away from the wizard and hobbit as he can.
Pippin begins to sing again, mumbling "Hoot" a few times, and suddenly falls asleep in Boromir's lap, snoring contentedly. Gandalf pops his head up over the armrest, sees the sleeping hobbit, and decides that this is also a good time for a nap. He staggers to his feet and stumbles to his room, dragging Pippin behind on the rope. Room 1 is heard slamming shut, and loud snores not far behind.
Legolas and Boromir look at each other, lost for words. They hadn't seen anyone quite so high since Bilbo's eleventy-first birthday party. The romantic fanfare from the soap opera grabs their attention again, and they turn back to 'Loving Love'.
6:00 PM
((Yes, we're skipping all that time between then and now. See, my Toblerone supply is running low, and the sugar high is starting to wear off... Sorry. I sincerely apologize. To prevent this from happening again, O Great Big Fellowship fans, just send me a year's supply of candy for my birthday (May 13th). Your donations are greatly appreciated. Thank you.))
"Ow! Legolas! You burnt my hand again! Tell me when you're going to move your arm, please…"
"Sorry, Boromir, but the green onions needed mincing—Gollum, Frodo, out. Out! Shoo!" Legolas nudged the two creatures out of the kitchen area with his boot. Frodo gave Legolas a wilting look, greatly desiring company other than the slimy green former hobbit he was attached to. Legolas turns away, trying to avoid the puppy-eyed stare. "Frodo, please, don't look at me like that…"
"Sssssss, Smeagol climb tree, yesssss…" Gollum hisses and starts racing outside, dragging Frodo behind. He slides open the glass door and leaps into the large maple tree in the backyard, slithering up the trunk like a lizard/cockroach/squirrel thing. Frodo is pulled against his will up into the branches, managing to squeak "Help--" before disappearing into the foliage.
6:15 PM
The Horn of Gondor blasts three times, calling everyone to dinner.
Gimli and Merry are first to show, bearing no scars or signs of mental agony. They take a seat on one side of the dining-room table. Sam and Aragorn sit down and scoot their chairs as far away from each other as possible, though it's hard when they only have one inch of rope left between them, and can only get about arm's length from each other. Even then, it's hard to eat.
Gollum appears, dragging Frodo behind, and hunches over in a chair next to Gimli, rubbing his hands together and drooling onto the tablecloth. "Oooo, Preciousssss is to be fed…" Frodo sits numbly, having the same vacant expression as he once did when he was first tied to Gollum. Sam shoots his most sympathetic look at Frodo, who doesn't seem to notice.
Legolas and Boromir sit down at the head of the table. Legolas looks over at Gimli and Merry holding hands, and watches them, shocked, mouth agape. He soon recovers, and glares. He would have a little chat with the dwarf later.
Gandalf and Pippin finally show up, looking bedraggled (Not too uncommon for Gandalf) and in pain. Pippin rubs his temples and falls into a chair, blinking and groaning. "Ummgfh… oh, me achin' head…"
Gandalf, though not looking as bad as Pippin, is also pretty sick, and shakes his head to clear it. "What's fer dinner?…"
Legolas stands up, almost never skipping the chance to show off about anything, even when he's mad at someone. "Beef casserole, fresh grilled salmon, steamed cauliflower…" he stops, realizing everyone's too busy eating to listen. He smiles, taking this as a compliment, and sits, eating as well.
A/N: Happy ending, right? Heh heh. We shall see. Remember, there's still a whole night and a morning to go until they're unhandcuffed! What happens in those beds? Stay tuned to Big Fellowship to find out! Begin commercial break