Title: Friends Or More?

Series: The Hollows

Pairing: Ivy/Rachel

Disclaimer: All characters and locations are the property of Kim Harrison

Author: Crystal Harrison

Chapter 4

****Ivy****

The nervousness in my stomach threatened again to make me sick when I spotted Rachel's car across from the bar. I wasn't sure if this was a conversation that I was ready to have. I knew that something was wrong and I knew that it had to do with me. The thought that she was finally going to move out flitted through my mind and I banished it. I couldn't lose her. As I opened the door I told myself that no matter what the problem was, I would do anything for her to stay.

My eyes started scanning the bar for her the minute I walked through the door. I spotted her at a table halfway across the bar. She was bobbing her head slightly in time with the rock song that was playing. Her eyes were closed and there was a row of drinks in front of her, there was also an assortment of empty glasses on the table varying in size and shape. Walking across the bar I never took my eyes off of her. God she was beautiful. Her wild red locks were pulled off of her neck in a ponytail. My eyes lingered on her neck remembering the taste of her and I felt a sudden desire for her. Giving myself a mental shake, I looked back to her face as a single tear fell and I picked up the pace.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked lightly as I walked around to the other side of the table.

She quickly looked away from me swiping at her cheek and catching the tear that was resting there. "I guess it is now." she quipped bringing her eyes back around to me. "Please have a drink." She said as she motioned to the still full glasses that were sitting on the table.

"Thank you." I said as I picked up one of the drinks.

" No, thank you! Maybe if that guy at the bar sees that I would rather give them away then drink them he will stop sending them." she said as she tilted her head to point out a man at the bar.

" Why not just send them back?" I questioned.

"Well that would have been a good idea. I just didn't think of it. I have a lot on my mind." she informed me with a pensive look on her eyes. She immediately looked back down to the table.

"Okay so spill it, Rachel. What's going on with you?" I asked with a commanding tone that I hoped would cover my terror.

" I said I don't want to talk about it in the kitchen and I still don't." She said bitterly.

" You're leaving aren't you?" I blurted before I could dismiss the thought.

"What?" She shrieked. " Why in the hell would you think that I'm leaving?"

" I don't know, Rachel. I know that something that I did hurt you so much that I thought that you were going to collapse on the kitchen floor. I also know that you won't talk to me about it. I don't know what you want me to think, but the best explanation that I can come up with is that you are leaving and you're afraid to tell me. I just can't figure out why." I said as I fought to hold back the tears that were imminent.

She looked at me like I had slapped her and another wave of pain rolled from her body as the tears that she had tried to hide from me began to fall freely from her cheeks. "I'm not leaving." she said, not much higher than a whisper. She knew that I could hear her.

"Then what is it, Rachel?" I pleaded looking into the deep emerald pools that were her eyes. " You know that you can tell me anything."

"Not this." she sighed. " I can't do this. I just need to go home."

With unsteady motions, she rose and dropped a generous tip back on the table and headed for the door. I followed closely behind. As we walked out the door she spun on me quickly "I don't need you to follow me Ivy!" she shouted as tears started to fall from her eyes yet again " I don't need you. I can take care of myself!"

" I'm sure that you can." I said softly not wanting this to escalate any further than it already had. She was very upset and it just made her smell all the better.

"You just don't get it do you Ivy?" She said with a bitter laugh. " I don't want you to come with me."

" Well, that's fine but you need to get home and you can't drive." I said as I closed the distance and slipped her purse out of her grip. I removed her keys and handed her purse back to her.

"I'll just walk then!" She said spinning to walk away.

Without even thinking about it, my hand flashed out and grabbed her by the upper arm and gently started pulling her to the car.

"Let go of me Ivy!" she cried.

" No! You are being ridiculous! I'm taking you home. If you don't want to be around me you can go to your room but I am not letting you walk home." I chided.

With that, she stopped struggling and I turned to look at her. I found her looking at me in a way that I couldn't quite understand. She took two steps toward me and placed her hand on top of mine, never taking her eyes from mine. She gently pulled my fingers from around her arm and turned on her heels, starting toward the car. When she reached it she stood waiting quietly at the passenger side door until I unlocked the car.

"Why do you care so much what I do, Ivy?" She asked softly after we were both in the car. " I don't deserve it. All I do is hurt you even though I love you and I try so hard not to."

With that, a fresh torrent of tears started flowing down her cheeks. She looked like a weeping angel. All I wanted to do was reach out and hold her and tell her that it was all going to be okay, but was it? I didn't even know why she was so upset so how could I reassure her. The emotion that was rolling off of her was so strong I could barely contain myself. Love and pain were pouring out of her and into me.

" You know why I care, Rachel." I said as I reached out. Cupping her chin in my hand I tilted her head so that she was looking into my eyes.

" That doesn't mean that I deserve it. I know that you love me. I have hurt you so many times, so deeply. I cant let you love me anymore. You deserve better. You deserve someone who isn't afraid to admit that they love you." She sobbed, refusing to look into my eyes.

" What do you mean someone who isn't afraid to admit that they love me?" I asked when my thoughts caught up to the moment.

"Nothing, Ivy." she sighed. She sounded so defeated. " Can we just go home?"

" Okay, Rachel." I said as I pulled out onto the street.

The drive home wasn't a terribly long one but as I drove in silence I was warring with myself. I just couldn't quite wrap my thoughts around what was happening. Had she just said that she loved me? Was I hearing things? Had I finally pushed myself so far that I was having delusions? There was no way that she meant it the way that I wanted her to. Rachel had made herself perfectly clear on that subject. So why couldn't I shake the feeling that she had just said that she loved me.

Glancing over at her while at a red light, I found that she was no longer staring out the window. She was asleep. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. The blaring horn behind me alerted me that the light had changed. Peeling my eyes off of her, I continued the short drive home.

When I pulled into the carport I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. I lifted Rachel easily out of the car and started to walk to the front of the church. Jenks heard me coming and opened the door.

" Tink's titiies, is she okay?" he asked, sounding slightly panicked.

" She's fine. She fell asleep on the way home. She's a little drunk but nothing that she can't sleep off." I responded trying to calm him down. " Will you go get a pain amulet? She is going to have one hell of a hangover. I'm going to take her and put her to bed. Can you just bring it in there?"

"Sure, Ivy." was all he said as he flew into the kitchen.

As I carried Rachel to her room she whimpered. I could've sworn that it was my name that I heard. Yeah right Ivy, keep right on dreaming. When we reached her room I walked over to her bed and laid her down gently. I went to the foot of the bed and removed her boots and socks. I grabbed some of her pajamas from her dresser and started to undress her. The flutter of pixie wings told me that Jenks was back with the pain amulet.

" Damn Ivy, you should wait until she's awake for your first time. I know that she will want to remember. The way that she was kicking herself in the ass earlier I'm surprised that she fell asleep." He said as I froze.

"What?" was all that I could manage. I looked at the pixie waiting for his response.

" She did talk to you didn't she?" He asked warily.

" She wouldn't tell me what's going on with her. All that I could get her to tell me is that she isn't leaving." I informed him. " What are you not saying pixie?"

" I really can't tell you, Ivy. I thought that you already knew." He said as he dropped the amulet into my waiting hand and went to leave the room. He stopped in the doorway, turning back to face me. " I will say this though Ivy, If you are so blind that after tonight you can't figure out what is going on, then you don't deserve to know." With that, he was gone and I was alone with Rachel again.

What was he saying? After tonight…? "Let's review" I muttered. I was caught all over a woman in the kitchen, the hurt that had nearly incapacitated me rolled from Rachel, I went on my date, Rachel went and got trashed, she cried about not deserving me then fell asleep in the car. When I sat on the end of her bed my weight caused her to stir. I couldn't get my hopes up again. I just couldn't take it. Tomorrow she was going to talk to me whether she wanted to or not. I could make it through tonight, I just had to get her to talk to me tomorrow.

With that thought I slipped her jeans over her hips, stifling a shiver. I pulled the pajama pants into their place. Then I slid her shirt over her head and replaced that as well. The bra had to stay. I couldn't handle the bra. I put her clothes in a neat folded pile on top of her dresser and went to cover her up. I pulled the coverlet up to her chin and almost screamed when a small hand shot out and grabbed my hand.

" Please stay with me." She whispered, sending a shudder down my spine. " I know I don't deserve it, but I really don't want you to leave.'

" Rachel, I don't think I can handle it." I breathed.

"I just want you to sit with me. Please." she begged, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye. "Please."

" Okay." I sighed.

I sat back on the edge of the bed and she slid over to make room for me. I slid my boots off and pulled my legs into the bed. I put my back against the headboard and laid my hands at my side. This may very well be my first death.

" Thank you." she whispered as she slid one hand into mine. Pulling herself closer to me.

"Anytime, Rachel." I said, trying to keep it light and gently squeezing her hand. This was going to be an interesting night.