Disclaimer: I do not own any part of D. Gray-man nor any of its characters. I can only close my eyes and quietly play dress up with said characters in my head and hope I'm not desecrating Hoshino Katsura's work too much.
For those of you who care, Author's Notes will be at the end of every chapter and any and all questions will be gleefully answer if asked.
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
"Noah? Like the man from the Old Testament?" Maria queried, tilting her head, trying to see if these kids were pulling her leg. Although she did see the one take direct Akuma hits and disappear into the floor, so she really should try and be a little more open minded. After the kid, Neah she believes it was, left yesterday, the other two exorcists did their best to explain what the hell had happened.
Although they really did a crappy job because their story was filled with lots of 'I don't knows' or 'Neah can explain better'. She eyed this boy, this Neah, and frowned; as if life wasn't weird enough already. So between hearty yawns, he fully explained the odd, strange and downright bizarre story of his life.
She shouldn't believe it, it was crazy and anyone who believed it was crazy.
She sighed as she rubbed her head; she must be going crazy then. Neah even had the nerve to smirk at her as he told her about something he called Noah's Ark and explained exactly how they had been able to bypass her security. He was cheeky brat, she decided, but an honest one.
Finally, the three of them explained their plans to overthrow the Earl. As she listened to them, she had no idea what to think.
Well that's not quite right, she knew exactly what to think.
What these kids were doing, what they were attempting to do, was stupid and dangerous.
She should tell Central, she should turn them in, if only for the sake of saving their lives. And this Noah kid, working for the Earl, she should-should- but dammit how could she arrest such a sweet kid? These crazy, stupid kids, barely more than little babies, wanted to take down the Millennium Earl. She rubbed her temples at their shy, innocent smiles; they had absolutely no idea what they were getting into.
There was a reason this war had gone on as long as it had.
But as she listened more, the idea began to sound less crazy. Maybe with all the inside information they got from Neah, they just might be able to make an impact. She wasn't naïve enough to believe that two exorcists and a runaway Noah could accomplish what a hundred years of war could not. But with this kid, this adorable, optimistic kid, the Order might be able to land some critical hits against the Earl.
Maybe they really could put an end to this godforsaken war.
"So uh, what do you think?" Neah asked sheepishly, oh how she wanted to pinch his cheeks. Maria tilted her head and stared at them in her intense way, they squirmed under her gaze.
God she loved it so.
She wasn't going to tell, that's what these kids were really worried about. Their only fault was inexperience and she could only imagine what would happen should the Order get its slimy hands on Neah. She thought about what he did yesterday, with power like that, you could level a place. He was sweet kid and, channeled properly, he could really do some good, but not for the Order.
No, the Order couldn't be trusted with that kind of power.
So Maria being typical Maria, after thinking these deep thoughts, she responded in her usual fashion. She gave them a giant, disarming smile. She knew she was strange and a little too playful and was often reprimanded for it, but she was the goddamned Branch Guardian so they couldn't do shit about it.
"I think … that I can't process this on an empty stomach." She jumped and grabbed Neah by his skinny shoulders. She hovered awkwardly above him, enjoying how he shrank back, still little babies.
"Take me to San Francisco, California. There's nothing good to eat out here in the desert; I want to go to a charming seafood restaurant with a view of the golden San Francisco Bay. You can do that right?" She got right into his face; he had the prettiest silver eyes. She got even closer to really observe them.
He gulped and nodded taking a step back; she stepped right with him and grinned widely. "What are you waiting for?" He jumped back and hid behind the girl, Lizzy. A moment later and the glorious white gate that had opened under Neah yesterday appeared before her.
She gasped taking in the sight, it didn't look much like a boat, but who was she to complain?
This stuff was serious and scary, shethought suddenly, what I am getting into?
These kids-these babies- didn't know anything about what it meant to be at war, to be different.
They'd opened a whole new can of worms and she had to admit that she was kind of frightened to see where this new road led. She would let them have their peace for now; it was only a matter of time before it would be stripped from their soft backs.
She hid her thoughts well as she skipped through the gate, that, and it was pretty fun to mess with people.
DGMDGMDGM
Cross scratched his head wondering what the hell was wrong with this lady. Yesterday she had been all serious and solemn, and now she bouncing around and giggling like the maniac he was slowly suspecting her to be. Poor Neah, guy looked like he's just been molested.
He looked over at his friend, more specifically, he looked at his wan face and the dark circles under his eyes. Neah's been doing this stupid Noah dinner every other Friday since he'd known him, but something else had happened yesterday. When they questioned him about it, Neah hid the distress from his eyes, smiled and told them that they worried too much.
Damn selfless Neah, always willing to suffer alone to protect the ones he cared for.
Cross knew it bothered Lizzy a lot. Lizzy, sweet Lizzy who was determined to save the whole damn world, couldn't stand it to see her friends hurting. It was for reasons like this that Lizzy wouldn't to confide in Neah for fear of bothering his hectic life. Neah obviously hadn't gotten the memo if the jealous glances he shot Lizzy and himself were any indication. Cross made a mental note to talk to him about it later when this lunch was over with and things started making sense again.
It was kind of scary actually, the thing with the Akuma attack yesterday, it had made everything seem real. They hadn't really done anything up until now, collect some Innocence and have some fancy lunches around the world. Seeing Neah cover and protect this girl, this exorcist, literally shielding her with his body from the attacks; it just served to remind him what exactly they were involved in.
He hadn't been able to sleep at all last night. He had stayed up all night in the musty, spare bunks in the North American Branch, Lizzy just as awake as he was in the next bed over. He just kept running the whole thing through his head, wondering if there was anything he could have done differently.
Maybe they really were kidding themselves.
They were a bunch of punk kids, not even real exorcists and they expected to take down the Millennium Earl? Cross sighed and helped Neah through the gate; he couldn't blame the guy for being reluctant to follow the crazy pedophile.
He decided to worry about all that later, right now he had his hands full dealing with these morons. Weren't these people supposed to be the adults here? Pinching the bridge of his nose, he prepared himself for a long and trying afternoon.
DGMDGMDGM
Lizzy felt like joining Cross as he sighed in irritation. They had been pretty worried yesterday that the older woman would tell her superiors everything she had seen. Now Lizzy was more concerned if the three of them would escape with their lives. She was fairly convinced this woman was insane.
Though we are really ones to talk, she thought rolling her eyes.
She hadn't been able to do anything yesterday afternoon. All of her training, all of her skills which she was proud of were nothing against an actual Noah and it stung. She was resolute in her desire to become the best exorcist she could be and, modesty aside, she had to admit that she was damn good.
She wasn't graduating early because of her good looks after all.
And yet all she could was watch as her best friend risked his life to save another exorcist, something that should be her job. If they couldn't handle one lousy Noah taking some Akuma for a spin before dinner, how the hell did they expect to take down the Millennium Earl?
It was fucking scary.
Laying there on some spare beds in the North American Branch, she and Cross had both stared at the ceiling and silently considered what they were doing. It had seemed so simple before, so easy; it had been like some secret club you formed in a tent in your backyard.
She smiled lightly as Neah fended off Maria's probing hands. She wasn't strong enough yet, but she'd get stronger, she had to in order to protect these amazing people she loved so much. She had seen how tired he had looked this morning, she was going to get strong so that she could protect him and she wouldn't bother him with her problems until then.
She heard a loud commotion behind her, Lizzy rolled her eyes, looks like Maria had abandoned Neah in exchange for Cross and his rather striking red hair.
DGMDGMDGM
This had to be the strangest lunch Neah had ever attended, God and he had thought the Noah were psychotic, this girl was bat-shit crazy.
Between his parents and the Earl, Neah had had manners beaten into him, but hell, this was a special occasion. He put his elbows on the table and rested his weary head in their comforting embrace. They went to San Francisco, had found a goddamned seafood restaurant for Maria, and well, ended up where they were now. He'd feel worse for Cross if he weren't so relieved to see the older woman focus her uninvited attentions elsewhere.
Neah was beginning to wonder where she got all that energy from, that is, until she ordered lunch. She literally pointed at the menu and then handed it back, she apparently had wanted one of everything and this was after she's eaten all the bread and butter at their, and their neighbor's, table.
God his head hurt just thinking about it.
Neah thought at first she was playing mind games on him, testing him to see how much he would tolerate. He hadn't actually expected her to, well, eat everything she ordered and what they ordered too. Watching her consume unholy amounts of food had caused the three of them to lose their appetites, to which she gladly obliged them and finished their meals for them.
Has his eye always twitched like that?
Cross got up and moved seats for the third time only to have Maria follow him and continue to stroke his hair.
One of them was going to be dead by the end of the day, he was mortally sure.
Lizzy tried to start a conversation several times, but Maria had her mouth full every time and he and Cross were too frustrated, so eventually she gave up and decided to memorize the history of the restaurant written conveniently on their placemats.
Shit, how the hell did the North American Branch afford to feed her every day?
Finally finishing her exorbitant meal, even going so far as to lick the plates, she delicately patted her face with a napkin as several waiters tried to haul away the innumerable amount of empty plates.
"That was delicious thank you," she said cheerily. Despite the headache, despite the eye twitching, Neah managed to smile and tell her how the pleasure was all his.
Maniac or not, she was a lady and he had not been raised to be rude to women.
Cross had no such upbringing apparently, as he slammed his palms on the table and stood up heatedly.
"What the hell is your deal bitch? First you're all noble with your 'I wanna save the exorcists' crap and then once we tell you what's going on, you act like a complete psychopath and eat enough to feed your entire fucking base. I have had enough with your shit, are you going tell on us or not because I cannot take this anymore!" Lizzy tried to calm Cross down while Neah awkwardly tried to explain to the stunned restaurateurs that his friend was just tired and that there was no need to alert the authorities. Maria sat there calmly while Cross huffed over his cathartic use of energy.
"Is there any particular order you wish for me to answer those questions?" she asked good naturedly, showing no signs of being upset by Cross's outburst. It really wouldn't surprise Neah in the least to hear that these sorts of outburst were common around her.
"I suppose I should start with what my 'my deal' is, but that might take a little while so please be patient." She smiled brightly, Cross blinked and sat down slowly, not sure what else to do. They had never come across anyone like this before. She turned and addressed Neah.
"I was trying to tell you yesterday, but you jumped in front of me before I could explain. While it's certainly not good to be hit with Akuma bullets, I wouldn't die from the virus. You see, I'm a parasite type exorcist. Anytime the Akuma virus is in my system, my Innocence immediately purifies and expunges it." She smiled and pointed to her throat.
"When I was fourteen, I bit into an apple containing Innocence, where it then imbedded itself into my throat. It hurt like hell and I spent about two weeks in the hospital. They were going to operate when one of the doctors, who had a brother who worked for the Order, recognized what happened and instead sent me to the North American base. Because I'm a parasite type, my Innocence uses a lot of energy which is why I need to eat so much. So, sorry I didn't tell you before, you just seemed so eager to play the hero. " She shrugged as if it was no big deal, but the whole experience sounded pretty traumatic to Neah.
"I didn't really like it at first, I mean, I was kind of taken from my home without my permission and, as you've probably noticed, I'm a little odd so I didn't really fit in." she looked down at her hands. "I was fifteen when I battled an Akuma for the first time. I didn't really understand my Innocence or what it was for. I never really bothered to; I just kept trying to figure out a way to avoid it, to escape from the Order. But when the Akuma attacked, they cornered some finders." She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling as she became lost in the memory.
"I can't remember what happened but I just started singing. I've always sung, I wanted to be an opera star when I was little and I must admit I have some talent. But this time, a barrier surrounded us and the Akuma exploded. I had saved them. I can still remember all of them standing around me, thanking me, hugging me and I realized that this was what I was meant to do. I saw that I could actually save people with my Innocence. I stopped trying to leave the Order that year and worked to hone my Innocence." She smiled and lightly fiddled with the ends of her short hair as she continued.
"I was a field agent for a while; I would travel with other exorcists and protect them from Akuma attacks. I don't really have any offensive powers and my Innocence is mostly defensive. Last year, the previous Branch Guardian and my Master, Zelda Karnofsky, was killed by a stray Akuma bullet. She had been training me to succeed her and she had really been the only one I felt close to at the Order." Neah nodded slowly, he knew that feeling of loneliness, of not fitting in with your peers.
"After Master died, I was hastily named the new Branch Guardian. It was kind of thrown upon me because I hadn't really completed my training or anything. I'm still learning, still trying to do my best to protect all the people I can. I was so scared yesterday because, I was afraid that I wouldn't be strong enough to keep everybody safe. I probably would have died yesterday if it weren't for you."
She smiled softly, and reached across the table to grasp Neah's hands. His first instinct was to pull away, but he kept his hand where it was seeing her expression. Her eyes were light with unshed tears and she bowed her head respectfully.
"I would like to thank you, Neah Walker, for saving my life yesterday. Now I can continue to better myself and go on to defend all the exorcists I have come to love, even if that same feeling is not shared." Neah was speechless; he felt a blush rise to his face. He was the Noah of Pride so a part of him simply adored the praise, but still, it felt so undeserved.
"It- it was nothing, I was just glad to be of some use. I feel terrible that my family has been the cause of these attacks. I'm just trying to right their wrongs." He smiled nervously, after such a beautiful speech, how could he expect her to still like him after being reminded of his relations?
She tilted her head and smiled once more, her emerald eyes shining.
"You are a very special person, Neah; it is a great pleasure to make your acquaintance, all of you. You all are silly, hopeful fools, but that's the best kind of fool you can be." She turned to smile at Cross and Lizzy, who of course were holding hands.
Neah frowned and pulled his hands back.
Maria looked at him curiously, confused by his sudden withdrawal. He didn't really care at the moment, all he could think of was the way Lizzy held Cross's hand in her own. The constant touching was starting to eat at him. Why didn't they get a room if they wanted to hold each other that fucking badly?
Feeling frustrated, abandoned and more than a little jealous, he stood up and nodded curtly.
"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom," he said as he stalked away, refusing to acknowledge the burning in his chest. So he was the third wheel now? 'Oh it was fun while it lasted Neah, but Cross and I want to be alone together. You've only spent your whole life by yourself, you don't mind do you?' He leaned over the sink in bathroom and rubbed his head roughly.
After a minute or two, his anger ebbed away and he felt guilt surge in its place. Lizzy and Cross were good for each other, who was he to be an asshole and act like that? And with a guest here too, he covered his eyes with his hands, trying to block out the image of Cross stroking Lizzy's hand.
Guilt or not, it still hurt like hell. He'd only had these friends for such a short time and now it seemed like he was losing them already. He put his forehead on the rim and sighed.
He really didn't know how to deal with people.
"You got that straight buddy." Neah, not realizing he had said the last part out loud, almost fell backwards as Cross appeared behind him. He gripped his chest trying to calm his racing heart.
"Jesus Cross, you scared the hell out of me." Cross smirked, Neah had come to know all of his smirks and the meaning each held. For example, the one he wore now was of wry amusement with an undertone of concern. It was quiet for a minute before Neah huffed and banged the back of his head against the small bathroom wall. He didn't look at Cross and merely stared forlornly at the wall.
"So is Lizzy ready to kill me yet?" He questioned, of course she was pissed, why wouldn't she be? Neah had no right to act that way, there was no way a girl like Lizzy would be okay with him making a complete ass of himself. Maybe there was a reason why Lizzy was always clinging to Cross.
Cross sighed and leaned next to Neah staring off into space as he spoke.
"We're not going to leave you, you know that right? Lizzy loves you to death; she'd do anything for you, that's just the way she is. Hell, even that crazy bitch Maria is worried about you." He put a hand on Neah's shoulder, Neah said nothing as he mulled over his friend's words.
"I-I just don't want to get caught between you and Lizzy, b-but I'm not sure I can stand being left alone anymore." Neah said softly, crossing his arms and slowly sliding down the wall as he continued.
"You two are so close, I always see you holding hands and she always go to you for comfort. I -just, it-it hurts, you know and I -" Neah looked with surprise and indignation.
Here he was baring his heart to his supposed friend and Cross has the audacity to laugh.
He laughed so hard, he slipped down onto the floor with Neah, still cackling. Neah felt his cheeks burn, goddamned fucking asshole. Cross slapped his knee and wiped the tears from his eyes.
"That's what's been bugging you? Man you have absolutely no idea." He lazily slung an arm around Neah shoulder in a friendly manner that made Neah feel both uncomfortable and loved.
"First of all, Lizzy and I are not a couple. Never have and probably never will be. The problem is that we're too damn alike to ever attempt a romantic relationship. Second of all, Lizzy is a tough bitch. She's got a lot of guts and she is one of the strongest people I know. But she needs a little relief every now and then; someone to hold her hand and remind her that she's not alone, someone to tell her that things are going to be alright when the nightmares get too bad." Cross shrugged.
"She never went to you because, well, she didn't want to burden you. Lizzy's always upset because of how hard it is for you to go back and forth between us and the Noah. She doesn't want to load you with all of her problems while you were dealing with your own." Neah blinked back, what was he talking about? Lizzy knew he used her and Cross to escape from all the Noah crap at home, didn't she? Cross took his silence as a sign to continue.
"And finally, and I already said it once and I'll say it again, we're not going to leave you. Lizzy loves you far too much and well, I don't have much else to do. Even without our whole thing with the Earl, you're our friend Neah. Why the hell would you think we'd leave you? Dammit, you really don't know anything. We exorcists have a dangerous life, death looms over everything we do; friends are all we have. We will never, ever leave you, man. No matter how much of a dick you become, we'll be there to kick your ass and drag you back." Neah smiled as he stared down at the floor.
It had been a long time since he had been held like this. The Earl hugged him every now and again, but that just made him want to bathe. But this…this was the real thing. Leaning on Cross's shoulder in some dirty bathroom in San Francisco, Neah realized what was important to him, what was worth fighting for.
"No wonder Lizzy likes cuddling with you, you're pretty comfortable." Neah smirked, enjoying Cross's surly look. Cross was not very good with sentimental talk and on the rare occasion he did try and comfort someone, he felt the need to act extra grumpy afterwards to make up for his momentary lapse in masculinity.
It was ridiculous, but Neah wouldn't change one damn thing about him.
"Yeah, well get off me you fucking Noah. You aren't nearly pretty enough to be my homosexual lover." Neah chuckled and released his hold as Cross stood up. Neah shook his head, wondering how he had ever doubted his friends. They were all he had; he would protect them no matter what the cost. A light tap on the door took them out of their own world.
"Um guys, are you ok in there? You've been in there for a while, and uh is Neah alright?" It was Lizzy, being concerned for everyone else as always. That's why she was always grabbing Cross; she needed a little help staying strong for her friends. And maybe one day, it would be his hand that she reached for.
"You guys having a party in here or something? If you got some alcohol then you better be prepared to share with the rest of the class." Neah and Cross watched as Maria casually sauntered into the men's room, she looked around. "Damn, this place is small; the girl's bathroom is a lot bigger."
They didn't last much longer. The restaurant finally got fed up with their crazy behavior and kicked them out. Though they did go out with style by following Maria's lead and jumping out of the window and proceeded to run down the street laughing, after all, when would they be in California again?
Still laughing as they leaned against a building several kilometers away, Maria spoke in a somber voice.
"I don't think you should ever tell the Order about what you're doing." The kids looked up from their panting. They had always felt they could make the biggest impact with the Church on their side. Why shouldn't they ally themselves with the Order? Maria sighed and looked away.
"The Order, well, let's just say that while the idea is admirable, the actual institution is less than wholesome. It's a scary place to be if you actually know what goes on behind the curtain. If they were to find about your plans to attack the Earl or, God forbid, Neah and his abilities… Well let's just say in the wrong hands, that information could be used very, very badly. This is something you have to do on your own. You can't tell anyone else, especially not the people in power, no one at the Order can know." her dark expression melted back into a small smile.
"I believe in you. You, you guy have something special going on here. I can't explain it, but you kids just seem to, I don't know, shine. I know it's kind of scary to think that you're on your own, but you have such a strong connection with each other that you don't need anybody else. I want you all to take things slowly and carefully, but I think you should run with this. You guys are going somewhere and I'm going to be there at the end proud to say that you bought me lunch." The mood was tense and everyone's unspoken fears hung limply in the air.
"What do you mean, you're coming with us," Neah smiled and the tension dropped suddenly. "You are inside our circle now Maria, I'm afraid you're stuck with us. The four of us are in this together; we can take down the Earl without anybody's help, not the Order or the Noah. We could really use you, that is, if you're interested." Neah felt his eyes sparkle.
She was right; they did have something special going on. They were doing something that had never been done before and he was anxious to see where this road led. As long as the three, pardon, four of them were together, he'd follow it down to the depths of hell. Maria grinned widely, tears brimming in her eyes as she pulled them into a tight hug.
"You'd really have me? I've never been a part of a club before. This is so exciting! We should have weekly meetings to discuss our plans and start making diagrams and-" she rambled.
"Just um, please bring some money with you next time. You're going to eat us out of house and home." Neah choked out as he tried to remove her arm from his throat.
"And get your damn hands off of me you freaking pervert!" Cross struggled valiantly only to be further crushed. Despite the terribly uncomfortable position, Neah couldn't be happier. He was surrounded by the best of friends who would never leave him. He sighed with contentment listening to Cross and Maria bicker and poor Lizzy gasp for air.
What a wonderful, crazy family he had found.
DGMDGMDGM
Three weeks later, Lizzy and Cross stood on the stage and accepted their rose crosses and all the problems and privileges that go with it.
Cross, being the ham that he is, strolled casually across the stage as if it were no big deal, though even he couldn't keep the grin off his face as his tearful Master pinned the cross on his coat. He gave a deep bow to audience before returning to his seat causing the females to erupt. Neah had to hold Maria down to prevent her from doing anything too inappropriate.
Lizzy walked across the stage with stars in her eyes, as if her whole life had led to this one moment. Under the lights of the stage, she looked beautiful in her rather form-fitting ceremonial coat and victorious smile. Maria flailed her arms wildly from where they sat in the back. Lizzy blushed and gave a small nod in return. Lining up with the other graduates, most of them at least a year or two older than them, Lizzy and Cross held hands and looked like they could conquer the world.
As per tradition, the night of graduation was the exorcist's ball, a special night celebrating not only graduating students, but all hard-working active exorcists. It was here that Neah finally became acquainted with General Devdas, the Master that both Lizzy and Cross admired deeply.
Though Neah was in a bit of a conundrum, here he only had one handkerchief, but there were two sobbing exorcists. Their Master hugged them tightly, tears running down his face as he told them how proud he was. And dear Maria who lamented how her sweet, little babies were growing up so fast.
Readjusting his collar, he smiled as the photographer snapped a picture of the four of them. It was probably the most ridiculous pose ever.
Maria was in the middle of smiling while wiping away stray tears. Cross squirmed uncomfortably as Maria held him very tightly to her body in a dress that left little to the imagination. Lizzy was giggling at Cross's predicament as she cuddled next to Neah. And he sat there looking confused as to why the photographer was waving a little puppet of the Earl at them.
All in all, it was a disjointed and awkward picture, but a surprisingly accurate one.
Grinning at his friends, he wondered whether or not this meant God had forgiven him for his sins, for surely he only gave such wonderful people to those who were the most deserving. A slow waltz began to filter through the air, across the room he noticed Lizzy talking amiably with her Master.
Giving his neck a quick crack, Neah made his way over to her. He was going to dance with the lovely girl in red tonight, as friends of course.
DGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGM
"Alrighty, the first official meeting of the Earl Destruction Squad will now commence" Cross started awake at the booming voice before resting his head on the table.
Stupid Maria, stupid meeting, stupid fucking time change… who's idea was it to have a damned meeting in America when the other three were on completely different times zones? Did she have any idea what time it was in England? Of course not, that would require using the piece of meat generally referred to as a brain. Lizzy breathed softly beside him, having already escaped from the waking world.
How jealous he felt.
And Neah sat there nodding his head sleepily, though the time change didn't affect him that badly, he was still tired as shit. And Maria sat at the head of the room having the gall to look chipper; he swore to God he would get her for this.
Cross felt his finger's twitch. He hated sitting around and talking what they were going to do. He knew they couldn't just storm Edo, but he'd lived his whole life without any sort of plan, all this waiting drove him insane. If they were going to kill the Earl, he wanted to do it now.
He closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep. He'd let the crazy people play with their little plans, he'd be there when he was needed; with his gun in the Earl's fat, smiling face.
"Come on you fussy britches, it's nine in the morning! It's a bright and beautiful day in sunny Arizona and we have a lot of planning to do." Was she seriously sparkling? Cross sighed and decided he didn't care if she grew wings and flew away; he just wanted to sleep goddammit.
As he drifted off he wondered what he'd do after the war was over.
A large palm slammed on the table, startling Lizzy out of her half sleep. She moaned as she sat up, she and Cross had just returned from a mission and now they were pulled out of bed by Neah at some god awful hour at night so Maria could have a stupid meeting. She was glad and all that Maria was getting into this, but seriously, this couldn't have waited until they were all awake? She rubbed her head trying to retain a semblance of patience.
She knew from experience that screaming at Maria made no difference.
"Maria, must we do this now? It's almost midnight in Europe, we're all exhausted" she said through a yawn. Cross had fallen asleep next to her. Poor guy, he'd gotten pretty beat up the other day and though he would never complain, she knew he was still hurting. Not to mention that Neah always seemed to be tired these days. He had mentioned that the Noah had gotten a lot pushier and that Edo was becoming more of a nightmare with every passing day.
She hated it.
She hated how fucking weak she was after all this time that she couldn't do anything for her friends. It was her goddamned fault Cross was hurt, she was too slow and he took the full brunt of the falling tree trying to help her. And Neah never felt like he could confide his problems to her.
She gripped her hair, fatigue always managed to bring out all her guilty feelings.
She just wanted to sleep and forget that her friends were slowly slipping away from her. Seeking comfort she, as always, she went to Neah. She laid her forehead down on the table next to him and sighed contently as Neah absently ran her fingers through her hair.
What would she do without these wonderful people? She would just have to get strong enough so she'd never have to find out.
"Seriously." Neah added miserably, as he gently played with Lizzy's hair.
Denis apparently hadn't been joking when he had mentioned that he would 'take Neah under his wing'. It seemed like anytime Neah was in Edo; Denis was waiting for him trying to bring out Neah's Inner Noah. It was maddening and Neah thought he'd die listening to all of Denis's stories of his own kills, but he hoped it would convince Analyse of his loyalties.
Bitch still gave him the creeps, every time he saw her; she just stared at him, as if looking for some fatal flaw just beneath the surface. Neah sighed and began playing piano chords on the table with his other hand, a nervous habit he could never quite break.
It was getting harder to balance his two lives, hell; it was hard enough just to find the will to return back to Edo, land of a million horrors. He hated having to sit with those monsters every other Friday and pretend he was as wicked as there were. He wasn't sure how many more times he could hear Saoirse's (1) 'how many Akuma does it take to kill an exorcist?' joke before he went insane.
And the worst part was? He wasn't sure what upset him more: how evil they truly were or the fact that he was different from them. He would never scare his friends with such news, but just because he didn't have any previous Noah memories didn't mean he still wasn't affected by his Inner Noah.
Late at night, when he let his guard down, he felt these disturbing impulses dance lightly across his brain. It told him to succumb to his desires, act commit atrocity after atrocity, to kill his friends and help the Earl slaughter humanity. He could ignore it well enough, but never completely block it out. The silky voice whispered to him in his drowsy state, he shut his eyes tightly, hoping it would go away.
He wouldn't be like them, he wouldn't kill, he wouldn't.
"Neah… are you alright?" Lizzy asked sweetly, her eyes barely open as her lay next to him on the table. He smiled and continued to play with her hair. No need to worry everyone over his problems.
"Nah I'm alright, just a little headache is all." He sure hoped it was an assuring smile; he would hate to sully Lizzy's pretty face with worry. She smiled back gingerly.
"No flirting during the meeting." Cross twitched a little bit, but other than that remained unaffected by Maria's shouting. Lizzy and Noah groaned simultaneously. "Now, I would like to start the meeting with our pledge." Maria paced confidently her arms behind her back.
Neah put his head in his hands, he did not sign up for this when he agreed to kill the Earl. He needed to review his contract. Maria ignored them and continued.
"I pledge allegiance to the group and to exorcists around the world, and to the Order for which it stands, one world, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all except the Earl. Let us hope he burns in hell." Somewhere deep inside him, part of his sanity fragmented and died.
What the hell was wrong with the world?
"Lovely, a true inspiration" Neah said in a voice so dry, it made sandpaper run for cover. Maria ignored this again and continued by looking down at her clipboard.
"Ok, now time for roll-call! Club president Maria de Monaco… Present!" she checked something off on her clipboard. Neah sighed, yet for all his complaints and his increasingly difficult and dangerous life, he wouldn't give this up for the world.
He didn't want to be a killer and he really felt he was doing something important just by being here.
And the friends he made were irreplaceable; he'd even crawl out of his comfy bed to attend a dumb-ass meeting in the middle of the night for them.
"Club Vice President Elizabeth Logan… Present!" He loved these people. He would die for them and more importantly, he would live for them and try and do the impossible alongside them.
"Club Treasurer Neah Walker… Present!" As long as he had his friends, he could accomplish anything. Here in this abandoned home outside of Tucson, he found he was truly happy.
He didn't need the Earl or his false love, all he needed was the support of his friends.
"Club Secretary Marian Cross… Mari, Mari? Dammit Cross, are you present or not?" Maria stomped over to where Cross was napping. She hovered over him and shouted, which did absolutely no good. Frustrated, she kicked Cross's chair from out under him, causing him to fall backwards.
Lizzy and Neah immediately ducked, seeing Cross quickly reach for his weapon and begin to fire at random. This only lasted for the few seconds it took for him to hit the floor, but he still managed to do quite a number on the ceiling.
Glimpsing cautiously over the edge of their tables, they caught Cross disoriented on the floor and Maria standing there stunned amongst the damage inflicted upon the room.
A lamp overhead fell and smashed to the floor. Neah wasn't sure what brought it on, perhaps the look on Cross's was too funny or maybe he was just tired and afraid of what lay ahead, but whatever the reason, Neah began to laugh hysterically.
He gripped his gut as he continued laughing. They were going to die viciously at the hands of the Earl, but for now, Cross shooting as he fell to the floor was the funniest thing on Earth. Lizzy joined him soon after, mixing in her musical giggles with his loud chortles. Maria leaned over on her knees and laughed noisily having escaped death by virtue of chance.
Cross looked between the three of them confused and somewhat pissed off.
"What the hell did I miss?"
DGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGM
The three of them stared warily up at the large tent, despite Neah's reassurances, none felt too safe in the dirty field in Northern England. Neah grinned he flagged down a man covered in snakes.
"Hey Junior! Is Mana in?" the thin man nodded before he and his snakes slunk away. Cross shivered as Lizzy and Maria hugged him tightly.
Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?
"Does your brother always affiliate with such interesting people?" Cross asked warily, circuses always gave him the creeps. There were enough strange things in this world without some lunatic putting it on display. Neah ignored Cross's question and gestured towards a particular tent.
"I wrote Mana and told him we were coming so he should be expecting us. You'll love him; he practically raised me as a kid." Cross wasn't sure he liked what that implied, if Neah was this crazy, then what did that say about his brother? Neah pulled open the flap of one of the smaller tents.
"Mana! It's your favorite little brother fresh from Fantasy Island. I picked up some hitchhikers on the way here, hope you don't mind." He held open the flap so they could walk in.
The girls were still clinging to Cross as they looked guardedly around the darkened tent, he had a bad feeling about this. The tent was sparsely furnished, in the faint light he could just make out a mattress on the floor, a small table with a few chairs and a few old and battered suitcases. Neah sighed nostalgically as he gave one a light kick.
"I don't see anyone Neah, maybe he's not home." Lizzy said steadily despite the fact that she was still holding securely onto Cross's arm.
"I remember these cases; we used them when Mana and I ran away together. I wonder how he's kept them together for so long; they were old back when we used them." Neah said softly as he ignored Lizzy, sentimentalism dripping from his words.
"I can't see anything in here; can't we light a candle or something?" Cross grumbled. He hated the dark; it always put him on edge and years of experience had taught him all the things that could be waiting hungrily in a darkened place.
First thing he saw move he was prepared to shoot.
"But that would ruin the atmosphere," said a mellifluous voice from behind them. Lizzy and Maria gasped fearfully as a tall shadow appeared behind them.
Neah had to quickly step between them to prevent Cross from blowing his brother away. In spite of the near disastrous situation, Neah still laughed.
"Goodness Mana, you sure have a death wish to be pulling that trick on exorcists. Cross was just about to shoot you to high heaven." Cross slowly lowered Judgment, but kept the weapon out, he wasn't quite positive this guy was all there.
Either of them.
This must be where Neah got his odd sense of humor and that alone made Cross very nervous. They were all relived as a candle was lit allowing them to see better, the girls relaxed their grips ever so slightly and the feeling began to return in his arms.
The light revealed a man who couldn't be much older than twenty.
He removed a gaudy red bowler revealing long, luscious black hair. The remnants of white paint on his face couldn't hide his smile or his uncanny resemblance to Neah. With his sharp cheekbones and dark charcoal hair he really did look a lot like Neah, which shouldn't have been as surprising as it was, considering they were brothers and all.
Sometimes it was hard to remember that Neah was human and had a family outside the Earl. Cross had just kind of come to accept the fact that Neah was 'The Noah', the guy who could instantly recover from fatal injuries. Seeing him smiling and slapping his brother's back reminded him that his friend, and by consequence all the other Noah, were human too.
He wasn't sure if that fact was reassuring or frightening.
"Sorry, I know Mana can be quite tiresome, but he means well." The older man roughly pinched Neah's cheek. He quickly fluffed his long black hair which he then tied up with a ribbon.
"I've been looking forward to meeting all of you; Neah has told me all about you kids in his letters. I must say I've been getting frustrated with his constant babbling, hopefully now that I've met all of you, he'll use his paper for better purposes." He stepped forward and reached for Lizzy's hand, dropping to one knee to give it a light kiss.
"You, my dear, are far prettier than Neah's letters have described, though mere words could hardly expect to do such beauty justice. It's Elizabeth, is it not?" She blushed and nodded, releasing her grip on Cross completely. Cross slowly stuck out his hand, Mana was about to shake it when he stopped and removed a tack from his hand.
"I don't think that would be a good idea now would it? That is a fine firearm you have there, but I'd rather not observe it up close again. Your name is Marian correct?" Cross nodded, finally feeling comfortable enough to holster Judgment. They shook hands; Cross noted he had a tight firm handshake, so at least he wasn't a spineless wimp like his brother.
"And it's Cross by the way, Marian is just for the paperwork." Mana grinned; he had the same goofy grin as Neah too. Maria, in typical Maria fashion, would not be forgotten. She also let go off Cross and threw herself at Mana, the poor man nearly buckled under her weight. His smile never wavered.
"Ah yes, and you must be Maria. And here I thought my little brother was just exaggerating when he mentioned the word 'crazy'. I'd shake your hand, but we seem to be in a bit of an awkward position." He groaned beneath her weight, but managed to maintain his civility and balance. Cross was impressed; Mana was a better man than him to put up with that kind of abuse. She giggled before releasing him. Mana took a deep breath and rubbed his aching neck.
"Boy she sure is a handful ain't she brother, have you got a leash for her?" Neah smirked. It was nice to see; with all the things going on, it had been awhile.
"Yeah, but since it's a special occasion, we thought it would be nice to let her run around for a bit." With the introductions done and the reassurance that Neah's brother wasn't completely psychotic, Mana showed them into the rest of the tent.
The light hadn't improved it much and only served to illuminate the dirt and clutter around. He pulled out a few extra chairs from the back so that the five of them could sit down; it was cramped, but mostly comfortable. He set down a pitcher of water and a few glasses.
"I'm sorry it's not much, this is a circus after all. It's not luxury, but its home." They thanked him as he sat down with them. They made light chatter for a few minutes before lapsing into silence.
Mana gazed at them deeply as he sipped his water causing Cross to shift. His amber eyes, warm and intense like his father's bourbon, studied them.
The color may have been different, but the stare was all Neah.
"So Neah tells me you're going to destroy this Earl," he said heavily, the humor gone from his voice. Someone coughed at the table as the kids traded tense looks.
Mana took another long sip from his water as he silently gaged their reactions.
"You-you know about that, about everything Neah's involved in I mean." Lizzy spoke after a few moments. Neah tilted his head and gave her a small sad smile.
"Well he's family you know. I had to explain to Mana where I had suddenly disappeared to. Well that, and I thought I'd go crazy without someone to talk to, someone to get me through all the madness in Edo. If Mana hadn't been there patiently listening, I probably would've lost my mind a long time ago."
Mana smiled affectionately and reached over to lightly clasp his brother's shoulder, it was a simple action, but it spoke volumes of their relationship. Mana sighed and lazily swirled his water, leaning back into his chair. He stared into the glass as if it held all of life's answers.
"You see, Neah and I have been on our own since we were kids. Our parents were too busy socializing to properly raise us. I-I remember when all this Noah stuff started. He was in the hospital almost a week before he, I don't know, 'changed'. God what an awful time that was, I-I honestly thought he was going to die. I-I um left him for a little bit to get some air and when I came back, he was-he was gone."
Guilt colored Mana's features as he turned away from Neah, who in turn started staring fitfully down at his lap. As it had been with Lizzy, Cross had a feeling there was more to the story than either would ever admit, but he wouldn't pry into such an obviously touchy subject. After a moment, Mana continued.
"He came back a few days later, healthier than I've seen him and fucking scared out of his mind. He told me about the Earl and the Noah and how he didn't know how to get out of it. I told him leave, but he said it was too dangerous, not only for himself, but for me as well." He pursed his lips and stood up and turned away from them facing the wall of the tent.
"I was-I was very glad when he told he had broken allegiances with the Earl. I had been afraid that the allure of power would turn him into something ugly, something that wouldn't be my baby brother anymore. I was, for once, very glad to be proven wrong." He grinned genially, turning back to them.
"I suppose I have you three to thank for that. Whether he tells you or not, he cares a great deal for all of you. He's been writing me telling how dangerous his treachery is and how it could very likely be the death of him. I don't really know about this war and I'm not involved in it. But you kids are good for Neah, so this old clown is prepared to do anything in his power to make this journey of yours easier, even if it's just a place to get away from it all. I'm willing to welcome you all into our small, broken family that is if you'd like." He said, smiling down at them with a warm gleam in his eyes.
Neah smiled affectionately and gave his brother a friendly punch on the arm. The look he gave Mana was one of love and appreciation, the way a son usually looks at his beloved father.
"You're such a sap Mana and don't call yourself old. You're only two years older than me, so by default, you're calling me old." The goofy grin returned as he heckled his little brother. Neah laughed as Mana began poking him, leaning so far over avoiding blows that he fell out of his chair.
The kids smiled to themselves watching the brotherly exchange. Neah really needed this. Mana knew Neah better than they did and he understood how heavily the pressures of the Noah and the threat of discovery weighed on his shoulders.
But sweet, selfless Neah would never bother his friends with his problems and would instead deal with his demons alone on the Ark. The only way to keep him sane was to keep him happy, and as a clown, Mana was quite experienced in the art of merrymaking.
So maybe next time he was feeling low, Maria would act that much more wild and Cross would crack a few more dirty jokes; after all, what are friends for?
DGMDGMDGM
The evening proceeded normally after that, or as normal as it could be considering the company. The conversation drifted back to the more pleasant and mundane. Mana eagerly questioned the kids about their lives as exorcists and the duties they performed. He paid rapt attention as they described in detail the inner workings of the Order and its members. They responded back with questions on life in the circus and if he ever feared being stabbed the eclectic display of people.
Mana couldn't help but chuckle at that, the kids fought literal monsters on a daily basis and they were afraid of the circus folk? He guessed they were more normal than he'd thought. They decided to continue their conversation over dinner and hopping onto Neah's magical and completely illogical boat Ark thing, they went off to dine in Ireland for some of Mana's favorite fish and chips.
Mana delighted as he got his brother to choke on food during a well-timed joke, though his victory was short lived as Neah surreptitiously stole Mana's wallet when it came time to pay. Mana thinks perhaps he taught his brother the art of pickpocketing a little too well.
All in all it was a wonderful evening and by the time they dropped Mana back at the circus, it was almost midnight.
Cross and Miss Elizabeth were anxious to return home. Apparently even demon hunters had curfews and Miss Maria didn't feel comfortable leaving her base unprotected for so long.
Neah yawned and replied that he was taking one of the younger Noah, Rhode, to the zoo in the morning which meant he had to be up early. Mana shook all of their hands again and gave his brother a gentle kiss on the head, much to said younger brother's dismay.
He waved as the kids disappeared into the magical door again. He still didn't really understand all this Noah crap and the war, but he didn't like what it was doing to these kids.
When Neah first told him about the exorcists and the Black Order, back when he first became a Noah, Mana thought of large aggressive priests who killed heretics who would not join their faith. Mana was therefore very shocked to see three kids, the eldest of them barely older than himself, being introduced as these mysterious exorcists he had heard so much about.
While they smiled, joked and laughed all evening, they never quite looked at peace, as if they were waiting for a monster to appear around the corner any moment. Mana couldn't imagine what that was like, always living on edge, going from battle to battle, going to bed each night knowing that this may be the last time you see the moon.
The bitter wind blew and he retreated back into his lonely tent.
They were good kids, and more importantly, they really cared for his brother. He wanted to get on his knees and thank whatever God they worked for that his brother was blessed with such loving companions. They'd keep him in line and keep him from going insane or worse.
He just wished there was something more he could do. He was a lover, not a fighter; he healed the world through laughter, not weapons.
But perhaps he could help them in an equally important way. He could wait here with open arms for the kids to return from their physical and emotional conflicts and let them lick their wounds and relax a little. He'd joke and jibe with them and give them, if only for a moment, the childhood all of them were denied because of this damned secret war.
Absentmindedly straightening up his messy tent, he realized that he was now a part of this war by giving these kids sanctuary.
He shrugged, oh well, there's a funny side to every situation, he'd just figure out what it was eventually.
He blew out the candle, illuminating the dark.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Ooh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends ~ The Beatles
With the main character introductions out of the way, the story can go from here. Alot of these early chapters are just character development. Some are just fun and, if I'm going to be honest with myself, fillers. But trust me, everything is important in its own little way so skipping chapters is not advised. So now we finally meet Mana, one of the things I was frusterated with throughout this story is how little Mana is actually seen. He is mentioned quite frequently by Neah off-screen, but he doesn't appear in person very often until the end. My justification was that this story focuses on Neah and the exorcists and it was hard to incorporate Mana into this. Still, his presence frequently is noted by Neah and at times it seems his love of Mana is a person in and of itself. Whatever, rambling again.
(1) For future reference, Saoirse is pronounced (Seer-Sha) and Denis can be either how I like it (De-Knee) or (De-Niece)
With a Little Help from my Friends (c) is the property of the Beatles and Apple Records