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The Angel of Death gazed into Envy's glare and for some reason; it angered him to have Envy speak to him like that. "What…. do you mean 'what the fuck am I doing here'?" he snarled, slowly getting to his feet. His red eyes and his loss of red feathers should have been a clue for the Guardian Angel, that something was not right. It pissed Edward off that Envy would be….so…so uncaring to him? Even though, the Angel nearly used up all his power to save him, the golden haired boy was unable to forgive the bastard what he had done. "Do you hate me, Envy, former Captain and Leader of the Guardian Angels? Do you despise me for taking away your power, Envy, son of Dante? " He asked spitefully, using the green haired angel's full name.
His sun-kissed eyes turned blood-red with rage as he lunged at the sickly yet beautiful angel before him. "WHY DO YOU HATE ME FOR I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG?!?" His cries echoed in the large house, making him feel even lonelier inside. He raised his fist and began to allow it to descend upon the angel's face. He froze at the last second as his mind went into a mental instability. "Oh God," he whispered, pushing himself off Envy quickly. He stared at his hands, which were covered with his brother's dried blood, and screamed as loud as he could.
Pain was evident on his face as his mind began to shatter. He stood in the hallway, staring at the many versions of himself in the mirrors in the hallways. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" he screamed, covering his ears as he trembled violently. His legs failed to keep him up and fell to the ground with a small gasp. The mirrors, they were mocking him.
His golden eyes returned to the blood red as he glanced at Envy's face. "Al……..Al," he whined, trying to find his brother. He had never been without his brother like this. Sure, they were separated when he died, but he always got to visit his brother while Al was sleeping. Now, Ed couldn't see his little brother ever again. That news kicked him hard in the stomach as he grabbed Envy's arm. "Why…does God allow brothers to spend eternity apart?" He whispered, pulling Envy down close to him. "It's my fault! I made him shoot his employees!" He sobbed against Envy's chest hard before shoving the pale angel away from him.
A strange laugh ripped from his throat as he covered his face with his hand. Red tears dripped down his face and splashed on the black marble floor. "Alphonse!" he garbled, his ruined wings flapping hard against his back. His laughter began to pick up volume, the shrieking sound echoing off the walls. His stomach lurched violently and he found himself lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. It was clear that the boy was in pain, though placing a bandage over the wound couldn't heal this kind of pain.
It was here that the bitter truth about the Angel of Death was finally revealed. Edward Elric, the Mighty and Proud Angel with red wings, was a coward. He wasn't brave like some of the angels had pictured him; neither was he an angel that deserved such a high position in the angelic community. Hell, Ed still refused to remember what happened when he died. He often faked amnesia when questioned about his death.
It wasn't that his death was horrible or life shattering. He simply burned alive in the library he was locked in by accident. Still, for Edward, his death was horrible to relive. The pain of seeing his little brother scream as they brought his body out, or the pain of watching the fire fighters shove him unceremoniously into a body bag was just too much for his mind to comprehend. After all, he was merely 16 when the original Angel of Death came for him. It was a shock for him to see his burnt blackened body with the only thing that made him recognizable was his wide golden eyes that were dimmed from death.
Still, Ed refused to let his death go. For an angel, to be able to acknowledge how you died was a great feat, for it was the most devastating thing that could happen to a human being. Yet, here was the Angel of Death, Edward Elric, and he still refused to be able to acknowledge his death. This was one of the many reasons why Edward looked up to the strong angel, Envy. Envy had managed to remember his death and accept it, though it seemed as if he had a long way to go when it came to healing. See, Heaven was not all sunshine and roses like the humans seemed to believe.
Heaven was a place where you went if you were good, Hell was the place you went when you were bad. That part, the humans had right, but the truth of it was that in Heaven, you could still suffer. Only the one causing your suffering was yourself. In Heaven, the only way you could have pure bliss was when you accepted your death and began the long journey of healing your soul. For Edward, he was still in denial about his death. Maybe that was the reason why God sent Al to Hell.
That had to be the reason. It was all God's fault! He was the reason why Al decided to go ballistic. God knew that this would happen which was why Ed had taken over the job as the Angel of Death. "Yes, that is the reason," he mumbled, lying on the floor as his red eyes slowly dimmed back into gold. "God knew…God wants me to suffer. God made Envy suffer, now I am to suffer as well. This is my Hell. God wants me to be punished for not believing in him. God…yes, it is God's fault." He muttered quietly, apparently unable to distinguished reality from fiction.
His blank eyes gazed at the broken angel in the mirror. A broken angel with red wings with no feathers. A broken angel who was suffering from the lost of his brother. The broken angel in the mirror was he. With a guttural moan, he sat up and stared at his reflection. "Why does God hate us, Envy?" he asked, wrapping his arms around his legs. "He sent mother to Hell for killing herself, now he sent Al to Hell. I don't know about Father, I haven't heard anything about that bastard. I don't really care." He buried his hands into his knees and began sobbing. It wasn't fair that he now had to spend all of eternity without his brother. It wasn't fair that he couldn't see any of this family right now.
"Why…does God think that it would be okay if He takes us away from our families. God could have forgiven Al, right? He could have allowed Al in. Sin or no sin right? Al was so innocent." Ed's entire body shook violently as the sobbing came harder. "Al was…Al was a good boy, he loved… oh God please, don't take him." His hands were removed from his face, his small fingers curling up into fists. "I hate Him," Ed snarled, his rage now consuming his sense of morality. "I hate God for what He did to my family!"
Edward's body burned with hatred as he stood up, grabbing the scythe that has fallen on the floor. "I'll…get revenge for what He did to Alphonse. He will be sorry for messing with the Elrics." His tanned arm pushed Envy aside, his anger consuming him. Most people don't know this, but the seven deadly sins were actually a group of Angels/Devils that expressed their hatred for God and tried to take God's very being away. Even Angels were not immune to the dangers of becoming Sins. In Edward's case, he was quickly becoming Brother Wrath and if he continued down this path of destruction, he would be cast out of Heaven and sent to Hell. His red wings will become scarred and burned until they were nothing but stumps remaining of the proud wings that made many Angels envy their greatness.
"Out of my way, Envy," Ed snarled, shoving the white angel against the mirrors in the hallway. His teeth began lengthening to become fangs; his eyes glittered with hatred as he raised his scythe to kill the man who destroyed his life. "You'll be the first to become my victim. Where is God now?!?" His rage made the entire house shake and groan from the evil within its halls. The skin on his body began to crumple as he returned to the state he was in before he was allowed in the gates of Heaven. Skin gathered around his feet as the musky scent of burnt flesh surrounded them. "WHERE IS GOD NOW?!?"
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Throughout the entire process of Edward's descending sanity, Envy remained quiet, silent and observing. His lips were drawn tight into a thin line as he stood there, fists clenched tightly at his sides as he stared blankly ahead. Already the dark aura surrounding the blond-haired male was beginning to become putrid and made Envy sway with slight dizziness. The malice and hatred that swirled through the air was unbearable and it managed to cover up most of the sorrow and confusion that Envy could barely detect. This angel was in danger, he recognized that fact and accepted it without a word or thought to the matter. The wilting red wings were almost laughable now, bones that had once been shrouded in many bright, lush feathers were now blank and dry, nothing but a little fuzz covering the skeletal appendages now. It was sickening and if he hadn't seen the process happen to his own body, perhaps he would've collapsed to the ground with fatigue, spewing up whatever his stomach held. Even now, however, he wanted to turn away from their ghastly appearance. Not even he had gone through such a depression where his wings lost every feather they held. Not even he had cried tears of blood. Not even he had felt such a rage towards the Father Almighty. This was a mistake, surely. Edward was a good angel, this was simply an act he was putting on.
The scythe that Ed held above his head made him snap from the blissful thoughts. The long, dangerous weapon gleamed gleefully in the air and he watched, enchanted, as a shine of light slid down the run of the blade and glinted in his amethyst, catlike eyes. The light was bright and it caused him to blink once or twice before he turned the violently violet optics over onto the boy pushing him against what Envy suspected, do to its cool, slipperiness, to be one of the mirrors in his hallway. He didn't flinch as he stared at the other, waiting for the cruel blow of death. Why bother moving out of the way? Everyone had to die eventually and angels were no exception. But... Why did he have to die simply because some formerly important angel decided to go insane? He didn't have to, not yet.
"Don't do this, Edward." He whispered quietly, voice soft as silk as he stared at the blond sin-developing angel. "You're not like this. You're just hurt right now." Envy knew exactly what Edward was going through and had already experienced it himself as many other angels had. That was, after all, why he was known as Envy. He had been halfway through the process of becoming the demon composed of malice, spite and envy when a spurt of angelic energy filled his body and halted the evil that had been dominating for so long. Thus, he was demoted and became known as the darkest and worst angel of the generation. No longer were his wings full and heavy with spirit but limp and thin, as was his hair as a child. But still, he was saved from the hell of being a sin, tortured and tormented for all eternity in the underworld. And all because another angel had stopped to correct him, to fix his mistakes and bring him back into the light.
Envy knew he was stronger than the younger at the moment, anyway, and slid his arms up, pressing them onto Ed's shoulders. He was crooning quietly, stroking the length of the boy's arms, violet eyes slid shut. "Your brother got the punishment he did because he committed a sin, a very horrible sin. Taking the life of another is wrong, you and I both know that." His eyes were still, unmoving now as they stared down into the smoldering eyes of gold. "But you must remember that, even though you blame God for his death, he had his own choices to make. God gave him the chance to do something good and he didn't, instead he killed all of those people..." He took a deep breath, stroking the arm as he gazed down onto the other. "There's only one way to save you, the same way I was saved. Your wings will, regretfully, suffer from the treatment, but it's the only way to save your soul from damnation."
Closing his eyes tight now, he began the process that had, perhaps, helped to create this entire situation. His mind slit open and memories pooled out, Envy carefully directing them into Edward's open, vulnerable brain. "I'm sorry," He whispered, tightening his eyes shut further as he forced the memories inside. "I should've done more to save you." Trembling slightly as he finished the complicated process, he collapsed forwards, falling against the soon-to-be-sin's chest. But the memories still pushed onwards, shoving themselves deep into the mind and replaying themselves in front of Edward's eyes.
There was an overlooking view of a large building, a building Edward may have recognized as the library in which he died. It was at a bird's eye view that slowly descended, swooping and slipping down like a bird to the library. A pale hand pressed itself onto a frosty window and the gaze dropped as a pair of white, dirty feet slipping onto a wide edge, toes gripping to hold the body upright. Now it was looking inside, past the cold reflection of a green-haired angel with large black wings, at the going ons within the library. The look on Envy's face in the glass was that of exhaustion and worry, clearly there was something very troubling on his mind and this incident was only making it worse. He was crawling through the window now, slipping into the musty room and looking around quickly. There was a boy with braided blond hair at a table, books surrounding him, his head bowed down and cheek stuck to a piece of paper he had been writing on. He's okay, good... I just need to get him out of here before the trouble starts... Thoughts that were not Edward's entered his mind, drifting lazily through the memory.
Envy's view flickered and now zoomed out, so it fell into a third person's point of view. Envy strode to stand beside the younger, living Edward and shook him slightly, only to have his hands pass through the boy. A panicked look crossed his face and he tried repeatedly, only to fail each and every time. From somewhere far off in the library, there was a distant, quiet shriek of 'Fire!' and Envy's panicked look grew even stronger. "Shit," He whispered, shaking the shoulders he couldn't touch even harder. "Shit, shit, shit!" The guardian paced hastily through the room, tapping his chin and biting the tip of his tongue. And then, he was walking back over to Ed, placing his hands carefully over the other's shoulder and whispering a prayer that should've protected the boy from any trouble. "Hear my prayer, Dear God Almighty..." A tear trailed down his cheek and he tore at his hair, black wings flapping desperately. Flames were licking at the edges of the bookshelves and tore away at the paper, destroying it on contact. His charge was waking now, screaming and panicking, and Envy could do nothing for him. He collapsed to the ground on his eyes, staring with blank, purple eyes as he watched the boy light up on fire, a horrible death. And the flames slowly engulfed him as well, only he was not affected by the worldly pain.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The black angel sobbed, the memory slowly fading away and the present Envy, pressed against Edward, whispered the same thing in unison. "I'm sorry,"
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