Chapter 4
He had promised himself he wasn't going to be sorry for leaving. He wasn't going to miss the team.
He didn't need them. Actually, he had never needed them.
They were just a means to an end. That was all.
Why it was that he felt so bad then?
"They didn't really care about me, Angie", he said to the empty room. "Just as I didn't care about them".
Liar.
"She lied to me! After all her talk about trust and friendship – I can't believe that she did".
How many times did you lie to her, Patrick?
"That was different", he countered stubbornly. "I never lied about the things that mattered most. I told her from the beginning that I wanted to kill Red John. She knew that".
She knew it, and she didn't want you to do such a thing. It's her doing if you didn't become a serial killer like Red John.
"I had a right to kill him! He murdered you and Charlotte – and I was the one responsible for that. I just had to make him pay for what he'd done. It was my duty. I owed it to you".
You didn't owe me that. Nor to Charlotte for that matter.
"You don't understand, Angie".
Really? Who's the one talking to an empty room here? Not me, I guess.
"If they were my friends, they would have helped me instead of hindering me!"
They helped you, Patrick. You're not willing to admit that they did, that's all.
"Their life will be better without me anyway. I might be doing them a favor as a matter of fact".
Stop wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. It's of no use, and you know it perfectly well.
"It's just what I deserve for what I've done to my loved ones".
There are people out there who still care about you. Who need you. Charlie and I would be glad for you to let the past rest and finally move on.
"I'm not ready for hitting the dating scene again, Angie", he replied wryly. "I suspect I'll never be".
Quit the silliness, Patrick. You're not going to get away with this so easily.
He shrugged. Was he really talking to a ghost? Or was it just his mind playing a trick on him?
Maybe he'd been alone inside that house for too long. He'd better get some sort of human contact before he went completely crazy.