A/N: Holy shit where did all these words come from?! I dunno. -shrugs- I'm not all that fond of this chapter, to be honest. It feels rushed, but perhaps that's because my brain is just jumping all over the place. Yay. Perhaps that was the reason for the fuckup on the previous chapter. Which has now been fixed, btw.

This story is doing really damn good. I didn't think it would be liked as much as it has been. Updates may take a bit longer after this, though. I'm about to get pretty busy, so... What can you do?

This is where I reply to anonymous reviews! Yay!

To Friendly Advice: I'm glad that you like the story and think it's good! I, personally, have been eating lately. But Kendall's not going to have such a good time of it. :D

To Gabrielle Miller: Right now, sweetheart. It's up right now. :D (Why do I call everyone sweetheart I don't even know. ._.)

Also, shoutout to mambrino for an idea that helped move this along! You rock! -heart-

One last thing. -deep breath- Heavy Blood Heavy Blood Heavy Blood. Awesome story right there. Go to it.

I don't own BTR, nor do I claim to. Warnings are like... violence and shit. 'Kay. :D

Enjoy, and then leave a review~

~Blame

It was quiet in their room, what with Carlos and Logan gone to pick up dinner. Mama Knight and Katie were out having a girl's night; she had called just before their movie had started to inform them that the house would be theirs until later that night. The younger of the Knight women had somehow convinced her mother to take her for a video game release, and so they wouldn't be back until really late.

So it was just the two of them; just him and a sleeping Kendall. Every now and again, the blond would shift slightly in his sleep, or murmur something that he really couldn't understand. Even the peaceful innocence that he saw in the other's face couldn't ease the worry that he felt. Every time he looked down at him, he was struck with just how... small Kendall looked, and he had never appeared this way to him before. In the past, Kendall had always been their big, strong leader; nothing could bring him down, could even cause his shoulders to slump.

But here they were.

James reached down to carefully brush strands of blond hair from where they were tickling the other's nose and cheeks. His fingers brushed against the cool skin, which caused Kendall to turn against the stomach that he was lying against. His face turned, nose pressing into shirt fabric; even in his sleep, the smell of Cuda registered and he murmured something that sounded suspiciously like the brunet's name.

"Dammit, Kenny..." He grunted softly when the sharp shoulder of his band mate ground against his groin. It wasn't the first time this had happened since they'd gotten home. The first time, he'd considered shifting away so that it wouldn't happen again- it was uncomfortable, after all- but he really didn't want to leave. He liked having Kendall lean against him like this. He liked being able to reach down and move his hair away, and to be able to hum soothingly when his eyebrows pulled together in distress.

Most of all, he liked to be able to watch the blond sleep. As stalker-ish as it sounded, it was simply because this was the first time in weeks that he had seen Kendall anywhere close to content. Plus, it was also the first time that he wasn't being shoved away.

He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, humming softly.

Next thing he knew, James felt the weight move from his stomach. When he lifted his head from the wall, his eyes met bright green ones. They were half-lidded, sleepy, and constantly blinking.

"What's going on...?" Kendall's voice was thick and rough, just like every morning. "I thought we were in the studio...?"

James pressed his hands into the mattress and sat up straighter. "You passed out, so we brought you home and you fell asleep in the car. I carried you up."

Those eyebrows furrowed for a moment, then slowly began to smooth out as his mind began to clear. "Oh yeah... Sorry, Jamie."

The brunet laughed softly and nudged his best friend's shoulder with a balled up fist, shaking his head. "What for? You needed help, so we helped you. That's what best friends do." The green eyes that had been on him flitted away, but not before he saw them darken. "And no matter what you may be thinking, we are best friends, and we do care."

Before Kendall could do more than stare at him and open his mouth, the door to their bedroom opened and in came Logan and Carlos, lugging large brown bags of food. Kendall could smell it; it was most likely from their favorite Chinese place. His mouth started to water, and his stomach growled- something he hoped escaped the notice of his three friends.

He was so, so hungry...

"Oh, hey! Kendall! You're awake!" Carlos crowed happily, dumping his armload on the clear space of the blond's nightstand.

"Are you feeling okay?" Logan asked, depositing his bags on James' bedside table, which was right beside the other one.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Kendall answered, nodding his head. He only had eyes for the sacks of food, though. He wanted some of it so badly, but he knew that he couldn't. If he broke and gave in now, then he would never be able to get thinner. It would ruin him.

"Alright." James laughed as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Quit salivating. Gonna pass that out, Logie, or are you going to make us work for ourselves?" he teased, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

"Harhar. Very funny." Logan rolled his eyes, but handed a take-out box to Kendall.

The blond just stared at it as the rest of the food was passed around, debating whether he should open it and eat a couple of bites to please the others. Then again, if he did that, who knew if he would be able to stop...? He had willpower, but it seemed that once he started eating, he couldn't stop himself until it was all gone. This time, he didn't want that; after all, he'd gone all day without eating. Why put all of that to work.

"Kendall?" Carlos' voice dragged him from his thoughts, and he looked up at the Latino. "Aren't you going to eat? We got your favorite."

"No." the blond murmured, even though he so desperately wanted to say yes. He reached around James to place the container back on his bedside table. "I'm not hungry."

"What?" Logan asked in disbelief, noodles dangling from the chopsticks that had been on the way to his mouth.

"I'm not." He shrugged his shoulders as if it were no big deal.

James slammed his soda down on the nightstand. "That's bullshit." Kendall wanted to argue with him, but no words came to mind, so he just stared at him in shock. "You didn't eat lunch. You have to be hungry. And you are. Your stomach was growling while you were asleep. So don't tell me that you're not hungry." He picked up the container and shoved it towards his best friend. "Eat it."

"Please, Kendall... We're worried about you..." Carlos spoke up, his own food forgotten, as he stared at their leader with pleading eyes.

"You need to eat something. Come on. We're asking you because we're worried..." Logan took a deep breath and set his own food aside. "Are you eating...?"

Kendall backed off of his bed, bright green eyes darting between his friends. They were wide, and he looked absolutely terrified- like a deer caught in the headlights of a speedily approaching vehicle. "Wh-what? Of course!"

But they could all tell it was a lie, just from his expression.

"Kenny..." James sounded so hurt. So distraught. It killed him on the inside to hear that. "Why are you doing this...?"

What was he supposed to do? At this point, Kendall couldn't even form words. He felt on the verge of tears. Distraught and desperate, he shook his head and whipped around, jerking the door open and fled the apartment. He could hear voices behind him, and barely saw that people were having to jump out of the way to avoid being barreled over, but he didn't care. None of that stopped him. Blindly, he ran right out of the Palm Woods and through the crowds on the sidewalk. The amount of people steadily started to diminish. The light changed, became less vibrant; he didn't know it, but it was the streetlights coming on as the sun went down.

He only stopped again when he could barely breathe, and when he felt like he was going to pass out for the second time that day. His back hit a brick wall and he slid down to sit on the wet concrete. At some point, it had started to rain. Normally, that would have irritated him, but he was grateful for it now; it helped to hide the tears streaking relentlessly down his cheeks. Much as he tried to stop- or at least slow- them, they refused, and continued on determinedly.

One look around and it was obvious that he'd strayed way too far from home. Kendall had no idea where he was, but he could easily tell that he was in a bad part of town. The buildings were dirty and there were very few people around; the people that were around were shady-looking. None of the signs worked; it smelled like smoke and drugs.

He needed to go. He knew that he did. As soon as he got his breath back...

"Well, look what we've got here, boys."

His eyes snapped open at the new voice. There was a group of about four guys- maybe five, but he couldn't tell if there was another male behind the one standing directly in front of him- surrounding him. There was definitely no space for him to escape through.

Not that he would have had time to do so. A large hand wrapped around his neck, the grip strong and unbreakable; Kendall couldn't breathe, no matter how hard he tried. "Aw, what's wrong, Twinkletoes?" the guy asked, noticing the blond's puffy red eyes and his runny nose. "Get stood up by your boyfriend?"

"No." Kendall snarled, clawing at the meaty hands. Normally, getting away would be no problem for him; he was a hockey player, after all, and could easily pry the fingers away, kick him in the crotch, and then run like hell. But because he hadn't been eating, his hands were weak and shaky. Possibly the only reason he was able to stay upright was because he was being held up.

His vision swam as he was lifted up and his head slammed back into the stained brick behind him. If he'd been able to breathe before, he certainly wouldn't be able to now. His eyelids drooped, head lolling.

"You might want to watch that tongue, before you lose it." The grip loosened enough for him to breathe as the man looked behind him; Kendall's feet slid against the wall to try and find some way to escape. "What do you think we should do with him, eh?"

"Bet he's got a lot of cash."

"I-"

"Said watch your tongue, faggot." His head slammed into the wall again... and again... He felt like he was going to vomit, if he had anything in his stomach, but thankfully, he just blacked out.

Not long enough.

He woke up to the group of men laughing over him, tossing his phone and wallet back and forth. They'd dragged him off someplace different; his jacket was gone and the back of his shirt was torn to shreds, suggesting that he'd literally been dragged across pavement. His back ached.

It was a different man that knelt in front of him, holding the phone out. "You want it, Blondie?"

Kendall thought about making a grab for it or at least nodding his head, but he knew that neither would work; if he could grab it, he wouldn't be able to run because his legs felt numb, and if he nodded his head, there was no way that he'd get it. Instead, he just stared at the man. This one had dark skin, unlike the one that had initially choked him. But he couldn't tell much with the rainy night and his own blurry vision.

"Dammit, kid." Knuckles to his jaw sent him reeling, and his cheek smacked into the pavement. "You answer when you're asked a question. Got it?"

The blond nodded jerkily, spitting out the blood that was welling in his mouth. How disgusting. He heard his phone unlock and looked around.

"Hm..."

"Oo, that one." the shortest of the group instructed, leaning around to press the tip of a dirty finger to the screen.

"Good choice."

The light from the screen blinded him when it was turned around, and Kendall had to blink a few times before he could see. It was James' contact information. For a moment, he was confused, but then it dawned on him.

"Don't!" he gasped out, throat raw and making his voice raspy. Finally, he made a grab for the phone, only to have his wrist crushed between the pavement and the thick sole of a boot. He wanted to scream, but he bit his tongue so that he wouldn't give them the satisfaction. His skin scraped painfully against the dirt and pebbles strewn on the concrete as he dragged his hand back, curling around it protectively as he pressed himself to the wall. "What're you going to do?" he asked warily, expecting to get punched again. He wanted away. His eyes darted around, searching for any possible opening; he found none between the four guys.

It was just him. He was alone. Again. He was always alone now.

"I think this is something he'd like to see, don't you?"

That was really the last thing that Kendall remembered, aside from agony. Someone kicked him in the ribs as soon as the other guy had finished talking, and as he shied away from it, forceful hands hauled him up and slammed him back against the wall. His head bounced off of the brick.

Everything was a blur after that. He knew enough to tell that they took turns beating the shit out of him. For the most part, they were focused on his abdomen; one of them liked knocking his legs out from underneath him, and another preferred to choke him and slam him into the wall- he assumed that was the first guy. At some point, he coughed up burning stomach acid; someone had kicked him one too many times in the stomach.

He didn't know if they stopped when he blacked out again.

-xXx-

It was raining harder when his bright green eyes fluttered open again. Kendall's whole body ached; even twitching a finger caused him great pain. For the moment, he looked around, moving only his eyes. The alley he was in was empty. Relief flooded him. His eyes found his possessions laying, rain-soaked, to his side.

Despite the pain, he forced himself to sit up. His wallet was open, and empty except for his driver's license; they'd have had no use with that, after all. His phone was smashed; it appeared as if someone had crushed it underneath their heel. He picked them both up, anyways, and shifted so that he could slide them into his pockets.

Then, taking a deep breath, he forced himself to his feet. Even standing was torture, and walking was even worse, but it wasn't like he could call for a ride. The rain was soaking through the remains of his t-shirt, and he wished that he had his jacket for a bit of extra protection, but he had no idea where it was. His knees protested every slow, jerking step.

He was just hoping that he hadn't run too far from the Palm Woods. All he wanted was to curl up in bed, fall asleep, and never wake up. His own self-hate had increased tenfold. Not only was he a disgusting excuse for a human being, but he had just allowed himself to be beaten. That would have never happened in the past.

A lot had changed since their arrival in L.A. He couldn't say that he blamed his friends for not wanting to have anything to do with him.

It didn't take very long for him to wander back into familiar territory; at least, he assumed that it didn't, but the pain was really beginning to get to his head again. For the first time, he reached back to feel where his head had been repeatedly slammed into the brick. He flinched when his fingers came into contact with the tender flesh; they came back tinted red. This didn't really surprise him. It was just a relief that he wasn't finding brain matter.

The streets were still busy. The bright lights and loud noises really hurt his head. But nobody asked if he was okay; he was grateful for that, because he didn't want to deal with anyone. It was still a decent walk back home. He passed the time by counting how many times his head throbbed.

But he lost count a few times and had to guess.

So he gave up as he trudged up the stairs to their apartment. Nobody had been in the lobby. This gave him extra time to brace himself for what he'd face once he got home. No doubt Logan, Carlos, and James were waiting for him to return so that they could berate him for running off like that, paying no mind to the fact that he'd been attacked.

When he had worked up the courage to open the door, he was faced with a nearly empty apartment. There was only one person there: Jo, pacing anxiously along the length of their bright orange couch. Her head flew up upon hearing the door open, and her eyes widened as she let out a loud gasp.

"Oh, god, Kendall!" she cried, running over to him. She reached up to cup his face between her hands, but thought better of it; the fear of hurting him even further reared its head, so her hands just fluttered around his face for a few moments before dropping back to her sides.

He tried to smile cheekily at her, but that hurt his face, so he let the expression drop after a few moments. "Oh, come on. I don't look that bad, do I?" Quickly, he discovered that talking caused his sides to ache.

"You look terrible." Jo muttered, then tried to usher her ex-boyfriend to the couch without actually touching him. "Please, sit down! You look like you need to. I'll call James. Tell them that you came home."

"Oh, yeah... Where are they, anyways...?" he asked, taking a seat on one of the bar stools instead of the couch. He didn't want to get the furniture wet and ruin it.

The actress stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "They're out looking for you. Where else would they be? They're worried to death! I thought James was really going to be sick." Even as she spoke, she pulled out her phone and found the brunet's contact information, hitting the call button.

That was news to Kendall. He turned the thoughts over in his head, the frantic phone conversation serving as mere background noise. They were actually worried...? The thought made him smile sleepily. Once they got here, he could go to sleep. He was so sleepy...

He rested his chin in his palm. That sent a shockwave of pain down his arm and he quickly stretched it out in front of him. How had he even managed to make it back here? Everything hurt; every small inch of his body was in agonizing pain. He had noticed it as he limped home, but it hadn't seemed nearly this bad. His forehead thumped lightly on the counter top. He could still hear Jo talking on the phone, but her voice sounded far away through the blood rushing in his ears.

Seconds seemed to tick by like hours; his eyes followed the thin hand on the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. Or perhaps that was the minute hand... He was unsure; his vision wasn't exactly cooperating and was most likely sending wrong signals to his brain.

After an eternity, when he had just began to slowly doze off, strong arms wrapped around his bruised middle. All he could do was gasp out in pain and try to pull away- which, really, only made him hurt even worse.

Thankfully, though, the arms were pried from around him, and he heard, "Let him go, James. You're hurting him." He thought it was Logan's voice, but it was difficult to tell with the rushing blood.

"Kenny..." Tan fingers carefully moved the other's head up, hazel eyes taking in every small mark on the other's face. "God, Kenny..." At this point, he was having to choke back tears.

Had he been crying already...?

Kendall shook the thought from his head. No way. "Jamie..." He smiled sleepily. "I'm okay... I'm just gonna go to bed."

"Bullshit!"

The blond jumped- flinched afterwards- and looked over to the source of the voice: Logan. Carlos was standing behind him, and he was still crying.

"You need to go to the hospital, Kendall..." the Latino mumbled, wiping his eyes.

Kendall wanted to argue, and he opened his mouth to try, but James gently covered it with his hand. "You're going. I'll carry you all the way there if I have to."

In the end, he just sighed softly- the movement of his chest almost made him whimper- and nodded. "Okay. Let's just go. I want to go to sleep." He stood up, shoving off help from his tall brunet friend, and limped back downstairs. He was surprised to see the Big Time Rush mobile parked right outside.

The ride to the hospital was silent. Every bump and brake hurt him, but he remained quiet and tried not to look over at James too often. His best friend was openly staring at him now, and he could tell that his eyes were puffy. He had been crying. It made his heart lurch.

This time, he allowed help, but only until he was taken back to a room.

His three best friends were forced to stay in the waiting room.

James wanted to smash his head into the wall. How could they be so stupid? How could they allow this to happen? He kept up a rhythm by knocking his head back into the painted concrete blocks of the waiting room. His eyes were on Logan and Carlos. The aspiring doctor was attempting to console their Latino friend, but he himself knew that it was a lost cause. If Carlos was feeling even half as bad as he was, then absolutely nothing would help.

His leg started bouncing as he turned his head away, towards the doors they had taken Kendall through. They had already called Mama Knight, but that had before they'd gotten home.

For that reason, he slipped his phone out of his pocket and dialed her number. He didn't get a chance to say anything before she spoke up.

"Where is he? Did you find him? Katie and I are almost home."

"We've got him. We're at the hospital."

"At the hospital?"

She hadn't been told about the video that had been sent to James' phone. At that point, he couldn't even have told her anything; he was so upset that he felt like he was going to vomit, and even breathing was a challenge. The video had been deleted immediately, but that couldn't erase the images from his mind; Kendall's cries still echoed in his ears now. How could someone be so sick as to do that? "Yeah. He... he got beat up pretty bad, Mama Knight..."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

The line disconnected before he could say anything more, so he just resigned himself to waiting. But he hated waiting. It wasn't long before he was forced to stand up and pace the length of the floor in front of Carlos' and Logan's seats.

"You're going to put a rut in the floor." Logan murmured, hoping to calm him down and get him to sit. They were all worried, of course, but he knew that one of them had to keep their heads; that person certainly wasn't going to be James or Carlos, seeing as they were both so out of it. And he didn't think Mama Knight or Katie would be any better once they got here.

"So what? I'll put a rut in the floor. It doesn't matter. Kendall's laying in a hospital bed! So what's a rut?!"

"James." Logan kept his voice as calm as possible as he stood up and placed a hand on James' shoulder to slow him down. "What can we do? Worrying like this won't help."

"We chased him out there to that. This is our fault." Desperately, James grabbed onto the shorter boy's shoulders and shook him, his expression completely distraught. "He could have died. He still could die. And I would have killed him, Logan!" His nails had been digging into the other's jacket fabric, but now, his grip loosened as he came to terms with his own words. "Oh, god... Logie... I did this to him..." His knees buckled and he dropped to the hard tile floor, his hands slipping from the shoulders.

"No, James." Logan knelt in front of their friend, and even Carlos slipped out of the cushioned waiting room chair to sit down beside him.

"Those guys did this to him." the youngest member of their group assured him, rubbing between the brunet's shoulder blades.

"But it's my fault. If I hadn't pushed him..."

"We all pushed him. None of us could have known that this would happen."

"I didn't even expect him to take off like he did..." Logan admitted softly, looking between his friends. "I wonder how long this has been going on..."

James dropped his face into his hands, shaking his head. "You wouldn't believe how much smaller he feels..." He stared at the floor between the spaces where his fingers were cracked. "I picked him up, and it was like... feathers. He was so light..."

The doors opened and in rushed Mama Knight, pulling along a pale Katie. "Where is he?" she asked them immediately, her voice frantic. It was obvious that she'd been holding back tears, and that this was causing her to become hysterical.

"In a room..." James muttered miserably, not bothering to lift his head for the answer.

"They won't let us back yet." Carlos added, looking up at his second mother. He wiped his eyes again, not wanting her to see his tears. After all, that might break the dam for her, and he knew that she would want to appear strong for Katie. Especially since James was already a pitiful mass crouched on the floor.

"They haven't even come out to tell us anything yet. But I'm sure that they will soon." At least, Logan hoped that they would. Underneath his calm exterior, he was just as worried about Kendall as everyone else and was anxious to hear what the doctors had to say.

For a moment, Mama Knight didn't say or do anything, but then slowly, she knelt down beside James and pulled her four children- Katie, James, Logan, and Carlos- into a hug. She ruffled Logan's hair soothingly and gently rubbed Carlos' back; they were the furthest away from her. Then she pressed gentle kisses to James' temple and the top of Katie's head, since they were closest. "It'll be okay. He'll be fine, and we'll go home so that we can take care of him. Okay?"

Nobody responded to that, but nobody moved, either; they all wanted each other's comfort, but more than that, they wanted Kendall with them.

-xXx-

These hospital rooms were absolutely atrocious. The lights were dim, but seemed too bright at the same time. Probably because there was no color to the room, besides the couple of cushioned chairs; everything was white or light grey. Even the blankets were white. And they were thin, too; he was freezing and shivering underneath them, because the air conditioner was running nearly nonstop. He wanted to get up and turn it off, but the idea of walking was completely unappealing. The thought of calling a nurse for help was even more so.

The last thing he wanted was help.

In fact, Kendall had immediately informed them, upon waking up in this room, that he would not be staying any longer than it took his mother to sign the release papers. It wasn't really his choice, and he was aware of that; if the doctor ordered it, or if his mother thought it best, he would probably be stuck here. Despite having half a mind to stand up, change, and walk out.

Actually... the real last thing he wanted was the tray of food sitting on the wheeled stand beside him. It hadn't escaped the doctor's notice that he was incredibly thin, and they had insisted he at least eat before he leave. To satisfy them, he'd taken a few bites; when they left, he spit chewed up food into Kleenexes and tossed them in the garbage can until half of the plate was gone.

Sighing softly, he leaned further back into the pillow. He wanted to turn on his side and stare blankly out of the window- the city lights were twinkling beautifully beyond the pane of glass- but moving too much hurt his ribs and he was sure that laying on them would be even worse. The doctor had informed him that he had three broken ribs, and one with a small crack in it. He had a concussion, but his CAT scan was clear; no swelling or bleeding in his brain. Other than that, he had some bad bruising, a split lip, and a dislocated shoulder that left one of his arms in a sling.

All in all, he got off pretty easily, considering the circumstances. There was a knock at the door, but he didn't bother to respond to whoever was on the other side; he assumed that they would barge in, regardless, so what was the point? A few moments later, he was proved correct when the door opened. He could see them troop in out of the corner of his eyes, but he didn't bother to look over; Logan was the first in, with Carlos trailing behind him. He was beginning to think that was the end of the procession when his younger sister walked in, James in tow. The brunet looked nervous to be in the room.

"Hey, Kendall." Carlos said softly after minutes elapsed with no one saying anything. He put on the best smile that he could muster while recovering from crying so much.

The blond finally turned his head from the window to look at them. It surprised him to see that James looked like he'd hastily attempted to cover up the fact that he'd been crying before they walked in. It was... odd to see the pretty boy with puffy, bloodshot eyes; a red, runny nose, and tears streaks down his cheeks.

He hadn't done a very good job of hiding it.

"Come to bitch me out for running off?" he muttered, tilting his head back against the pillow. The ceiling was white; he hated seeing it, so he closed his eyes.

"Why do you keep talking to us like that?" James snapped, his voice rough from tears. He cleared his throat in an attempt to sound like himself again. "You've been doing it all day! And before that, you were barely even saying a word to us. What's going on, Kenny?"

Kendall didn't bother answering. He knew that they knew.

"You think we don't care about you anymore. That's it, right?" Logan stepped up and took a seat on the hospital bed at their leader's feet. "You've said it before. Not in so many words. But you have. We wanted to believe you were just being difficult..."

"Fine then!" the blond snapped, sitting up on the bed so quickly that he had to pause as he doubled in pain, panting. He felt the hands of his friends trying to help him back up and soothe him, but he shoved them away as best he could, glaring between Logan, James, and Carlos. Katie was standing at the foot of the bed, frozen in shock and looking on the verge of tears again. "That's what I think! I know you don't care anymore. Ever since we got here... we haven't been brothers. You haven't even noticed..."

Carlos opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a small squeak and he turned away, wiping at his eyes. Logan's jaw went slack as he stared at their friend. But James was starting to get irritated.

"Dumbass. You're the one who-"

The door opening again shut him up, and Mama Knight walked into the room. She paused at seeing her son and his best friend exchanging glares, but then cleared her throat and smiled as convincingly as she could; she was still so upset about Kendall getting attacked like this. "The papers are signed and we can go as soon as you change."

"Did you bring me any new clothes...?" His shirt was still in tatters. And his jeans were pretty messed up, too.

"Oh, yeah..." Katie walked hesitantly up to the bed, handing over a backpack that had been on her shoulders. "I forgot to give it to you... Sorry, big brother."

"It's okay, kiddo." Even if he couldn't count on his friends, at least he still had Katie and his mother. He let his legs drop over the side of the bed and nudged James to the side with a knee so that he could stand up. He could feel the brunet glaring at him as he walked to the bathroom, holding his hospital gown closed with a sore arm, so that he could change. It would have been wise to ask for assistance, but again, his pride got in the way. Not that James would have helped, anyways, and he wasn't sure if Logan or Carlos would, either.

He could hear whispers from the room as he struggled into his new clothes. The words weren't clear, and he wasn't sure that he wanted them to be, either. The mirror mocked him; fat and bruised and hideous. His skin was mostly black and blue; what he could see, at least. A lot of him was patched up, but it didn't hide the fact that he was still not skinny enough. Not in his eyes.

It took well longer than it should have for him to change. Even more so, considering the time he spent staring in the mirror and staring at the doorknob before he walked back out, his arm crossed over his chest in the sling. The whispers immediately stopped upon his entrance, and everyone stared at him. It was annoying and suspicious, but he didn't comment on it.

"Let's go. I'm tired and I want to go to bed." In his own bed, that was.

Any help was refused as they trooped out. The ride home was just as silent as his hospital room had been when he'd gotten out of the bathroom; Katie played with his hospital bracelet the whole way. The arm that wasn't in a sling was draped loosely around her shoulders, and he was leaning down towards her so that she could hear when he hummed quietly. When they were both younger, back home in Minnesota, he'd sing softly to her whenever she was upset or scared. That hadn't been a problem since they'd arrived in Los Angeles; not until now, that was.

The sound of his voice was appearing to calm her down slightly, though. At least she knew that her brother was okay, and that he still loved her. Every now and again, James would peek over at them. At first, he'd been pissed off about everything that Kendall had said to them, but it hadn't taken long for the anger to dissipate; it was replaced with an ache in his chest and a hollowness to his eyes.

The rest of her family could see the change, but they could only see the surface meaning. She knew how James felt, though. It had been obvious for a while now. James and Kendall had always been close; but that wasn't an excuse for some of the stray touches, the glances. She wasn't an idiot; neither was he. He knew that she knew.

How Kendall hadn't guessed, Katie didn't know. She liked to think that it was simply because he was doped up on pain medication, but that was no excuse for his obliviousness before tonight.

When they parked in the Palm Woods' garage, Kendall was still humming softly to his little sister, but it had become softer and more... erratic. He wasn't paying attention to what he was humming any longer; it was just whatever note he felt like hitting.

The pain medicine had him so out of it that he allowed himself to be helped out of the vehicle and up to the apartment by James and Carlos. Logan was the one who opened all of the doors and called the elevator for them. Mama Knight and Katie talked quietly behind them as they walked. Nobody else was around; they made it to their apartment without any trouble.

"Do you want something to eat or drink before you go to bed, honey?" Mama Knight asked, her hand hovering over Kendall's back. She was afraid to actually touch him, not wanting to hurt him, despite that he still had the pain medicine working its magic on him and was barely aware of where he was, let alone that he was in pain.

"No. I just wanna go to sleep." the blond murmured, laying his head over on James' shoulder. The brunet smelled like rain, hospital, and sweat. It was certainly a change from the Cuda- there was still a hint there- but it was nice. At least, most of it was nice; he would prefer if the sterile smell was gone.

"Alright..." While she didn't look too happy about the idea of sending him to bed hungry, there wasn't much she could do, short of spoon feeding him. But she would be sure that he ate every meal the next day. The doctor had informed her that he was underweight. This had been a surprise, because the four boys under her care had always had always had healthy appetites; shopping was always an adventure, especially when they came along. "Will you boys take him upstairs and help him get ready for bed? I don't think he'd want his mother helping him undress." She smiled at them, ushering them off.

"Sure, Mama Knight." Carlos replied, starting towards their rooms with Kendall in tow.

"See you in the morning." James told their second mother, supporting most of the blond's weight as they walked upstairs.

"Sleep well." Logan hurried after his friends, leaving the Knight women to their own devices.

"Goodniiiiight, Mooom!" Kendall called as he was guided upstairs to his bedroom, making James wrinkle his nose because his ear was being screamed into.

"Goodnight, boys! Sweet dreams!"

As soon as they stepped into the room, Kendall immediately went to fall face first one the bed, but a gentle arm wrapped around his hips and stopped him before he could do so. "Kenny, you're going to hurt yourself even more."

"Goddamn. Kendall's a mess on pain medicine." Logan observed as James helped their friend to sit down on the bed. But then the blond just flopped over backwards on the mattress and yawned.

"Let's get you into your pajamas and then you can sleep, okay?" Carlos offered, closing the door behind them.

"No." For that moment, Kendall sounded and looked completely in his own mind.

"What? Why?" the Latino asked, confusion furrowing his brows.

"Don't be a bitch. Just go ahead and get this over with, huh? We're all tired." James muttered, grabbing the hem of Kendall's shirt. His hand was shoved off, though, and the blond pushed himself back further on the bed.

"I said no!" He shook his head firmly, which made him dizzy. "I don't want you to see me like this, Jamie!" His head shook a bit slower this time. "I just want to go to sleep... So just let me do that..." He could feel a familiar stinging in his eyes. It was amazing how quickly he had taken to crying at the drop of a hat; in the past, he hadn't cried when his father had beaten him, or when his father had left, or when his first hockey tryout had ended in disaster, or when Brooke Diamond had come to take her son back home to Minnesota. Kendall Knight wasn't a crybaby. Or, rather, he hadn't been.

So seeing the unshed tears glistening in his bright green eyes shocked all of them to the core.

James was the first to move. To climb onto the bed beside Kendall and hug the blond to his chest as gently as he could, especially careful of his shoulder and ribs. "You can go to sleep now, Ken. But not until you hear me say... that you never have to hide any part of yourself from us."

"That's right." Logan agreed, sliding onto the bed with them. He joined in on the hug, sighing softly. "We've always been here for you, and we always will be. No matter what."

Carlos clambered onto the bed with them and wrapped his arms around his three best friends, conscious of Kendall's injuries. "We love you. We just want you to know that. Brothers for life, right?"

James turned his head slightly, his nose in the other's hair. "I love you, Ken. So give me all your problems."

Kendall sighed softly, smiling genuinely for the first time in longer than he could remember. "Love you guys, too..." His voice was faded with sleep and muffled against the tall brunet's chest. He fell asleep just like that, with Logan and Carlos and James murmuring assurances to him, their arms wrapped around him. None of them had the heart to move, worried that he'd wake up if they did. So, just like when they were little kids and one of them was upset, they fell asleep huddled together, in their tight little cocoon. Dirty, wet clothes; smelling of sweat and rain; and all just a little teary-eyed from the events of the day.

A/N: There we go! Another chapter in the bag. That was kinda sweet, yeah?

Now. I must go... and read the latest chapter of Heavy Blood! Srsly. If you haven't read it... read it.

I can't think of anything else that I want to say...

So review! ... Bye. -heart-