A/N: This story came out of nowhere, but felt like it needed to be heard.
This is my first attempt at a multi chapter story so please bear with me. I'm wanting this to read like Cas is writing his story, so hopefully that comes across with this. This is unbetaed so all mistakes are mine! Btw I think you know I don't own SPN, if I did, well Cas and Dean would be together, it wouldn't just be a fanfic!
A/N 2: Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and followers, it's pretty cool. I know where I want this story to go, just having trouble getting there, so thanks for being patient!
I have always had this thing about being late, and since I was meeting Dean at 7 naturally I arrived 15 minutes before. I couldn't believe how long it had taken me to get dressed, if Gabriel had been there I'm sure he would have called me a girl since I had tried on almost everything I had before I decided on my outfit. I think I picked good though I wore the tight skinny jeans that Dean had requested and a blue dress shirt that made my eyes pop. I wish I had more time to do something with my hair, although after years of trying I knew it was pointless.
I wasn't sure what I was wanting out of this, that's what confused me about all this. At first, it was wanting to befriend Dean maybe help him through this point in his life, but now what? Dean was certainly hot, funny, kind and caring, but I couldn't decide what his game was? Was he wanting a friend, although he was flirting too much to be only friends, did he just want a quick lay, someone to help him forget for a while, or was he wanting something more? It was probably too early to think about all that, I just needed to relax and let what happens happen. If nothing else, making him blush was enough for me.
My thoughts were interrupted, and at a good time, when the man himself came in and damnit if he didn't look gorgeous. He had on a pair of jeans, not as tight as mine, but enough to show case what he was offering, a green shirt, that sure enough made his eyes pop but the leather jacket did it for me. He looked badass, with the jacket. As my eyes were taking in all that was Dean Winchester, I noticed that the hostess pointed over to me, and he started walking towards me with a glint in eyes that spoke volumes. I was royally screwed.
"Hey Cas." Dean took off his leather jacket slowly, while keeping eye contact. It was like getting a taste of what I wanted, and I wanted more.
"Hello Dean. I'm glad to see that you listened and wore something that brought out your eyes, you look good."
"Yeah well I'm not the only one who listened I can't wait till you stand so I can check out your ass again. I'm sure it looks edible in those jeans." Looked like Dean was bring his A-game tonight, this was going to be fun! Winking at him, I smirked and continued with this back and forth game we had going on.
"Yes it does, you look edible yourself. It's taking a lot of self-control to sit here and not take a taste for myself. "
Before Dean could retort, a waitress came over to get our orders.
"Good evening, and welcome to The Bistro, I'm Jenna and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I start you out with?" Jenna was pretty, long dark hair, blue eyes, a kind smile and chipper to top it off.
"Hello Jenna, I would like a glass of water please." I said smiling at her.
"Yeah I'll take the same, thank you."
"Alright, be right back with that." I noticed Jenna never once looked at Dean, but Dean never looked at her either. It was quiet for a few moments, both of us starring at the other. It wasn't awkward, but I could tell Dean wanted to say something; his mouth kept opening and closing.
"What are you thinking about? You look like a fish right now, opening and closing your mouth that way. If you have something to say you can just say it." Dean looked a little embarrassed but he took a deep breath and asked anyway.
"Well I was wondering about your…condition. When were you first diagnosed, how did it come back, what are your treatment plans?" Ah the one thing I was hoping he didn't want to talk about, and he does.
"Well I was 15 when I was first diagnosed, I was tired all the time, and had a constant fever and after some testing and scans, found out I had leukemia. It was horrible at first, my parents and siblings took it hard, I always felt like I had to be strong for them you know."
"Yeah I completely understand that, must have been hard though being a teenager and going through that." Dean was moving his hand closer to mine as the waitress came back with our drinks.
"Here you go gentleman, have you decided on what you would like to eat? An appetizer maybe?" Jenna said, smiling at me.
"Dean do you know what you would like?"
"Um..I haven't looked at the menu honestly, but I'll have whatever you are having. I trust you to pick something delicious." Laughing I opened the menu and picked the first thing I saw.
"I guess we will both be having the Beef Wellington please."
"Good choice, is there anything else I can get for you in the mean time?" I would have taken that innocently, had she not thrown in a wink. Handing her the menus, and looking at Dean I figured now was the time to let her know I wasn't interested.
"Not unless my date needs anything?" Maybe I should have made sure that it was okay to say that since Dean was now blushing.
"No I'm good thanks."
"Very well, I'll be back shortly with your food." She looked a little miffed that I was on a date, but smiled and went to put our order in.
"Sorry hope you didn't mind that, I just didn't want to give her the wrong idea about me." Dean laughed at that, that sound alone put my mind at ease. I didn't want this to turn awkward.
"It's fine Cas, truth be told I was going to say something at some point if she didn't stop flirting with you."
"Don't tell me you were jealous already?" Leaning his elbows on the table, Dean looked at me for a moment then smirked.
"Maybe, maybe not but tonight your attention belongs to me so please continue with your story." Damn bossy Dean was pretty sexy. The thoughts racing through my mind at this point was not of the G or even PG variety, but I needed to get rid of those before I was sporting a hard on for the rest of the night.
"Hmm well..like I was saying, my parents and siblings took it hard, but it felt like I was living in a trance. I was scared, scared of living or dying, but it wasn't until I started chemo and losing my hair that I became terrified. When I found out that the treatment worked and that I was in remission I thought my wishes all came true. I was told there was a 40% chance of it coming back but after living a cancer filled life for almost 2 years I just wanted to live."
"What did you do?"
"First thing I did was take my parents along with my brother out to celebrate, then told them I was going to study abroad for a year. They weren't very supportive, wanted me to stay close to home for a while, but I wanted to see more of the world. We used to take family vacations every year, but when I got sick that stopped."
Dean was listening intently to what I had to say, it was nice, it had been a long time since someone let me talk.
"I went to France for a year and went that was over, kept making my way across Europe. I was actually in Rome when I started getting sick again." Dean's hand covered mine on top of the table, as I continued, giving me comfort or strength I'm not sure, but it felt nice.
"It hit me hard and fast this time, something Dr. Milton is concerned about but I'm taking my medicine and hoping for the best. What about you? When did you find out?"
"I'm sorry Cas that sucks. I couldn't imagine going through this twice in one lifetime." Dean gave my hand a squeeze; he leaned back and took a deep breath.
"My story now huh? Well I found out after I broke down and went to the doctor. For a few weeks I didn't have an appetite, was nauseous all the time, and was a little swollen, my doctor was concerned from the start but I didn't pay much attention. It wasn't until I started having pains in my shoulder and stomach and I thought maybe he was on to something. I found out last week that it was liver cancer, and like you know started my treatment today."
"I don't know much about liver cancer what are some of your options?" I was trying not to frown and let him see that, but the few things I did know, didn't leave much hope for him.
"Best case scenario, the medicine will work and nothing else will have to be done, worst case scenario, I will have to have a transplant although most people die before that happens."
I couldn't believe how Dean just shrugged like dying was his only option in the end. This beautiful man in front of me, looking as if the worst case happens he wouldn't fight, maybe this was my reason for meeting him. To help see you should always fight, there is always something to fight for.
"Alright gentleman, I bring you food!"
All night I kept thinking if Jenna had the best or worse timing, this time I was thankful for the interruption.
"Now this is one of the chef's specialties, I hope you enjoy and let me know if there is anything else I can get for you."
"Thank you Jenna, I think we are okay right now." As she walked away, I was about to remark on how he should fight no matter what, but one look at Dean and I could tell we needed a subject change.
"I hope you enjoy this, I have no idea what it is or how good it is."
"Believe me Cas, when it comes to food I'm not hard to please." Winking he took a bite, the maon he made me smirk.
"Should I leave you alone with your plate?"
"You're just jealous it's not you I'm moaning for."
"Not jealous, I won't make you moan just once, you will be moaning for hours until I'm done with you." I winked when he stopped eating and starred at me, mouth slightly open. I looked right back at him, daring him to comment.
"Can't wait." Winking at me one more time, he went right on eating. Conversation during dinner was easy after that, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed myself. I found out, that Dean didn't do too hot in school but his brother was apparently a genius, and how he liked picking on Sam about his new girlfriend. Apparently they are connected at the hip or was until Dean got sick. He just got done telling me a story about how he caught Sam with his tongue down his girlfriend's throat when he came in on a "study session" and how he never let Sam live that down.
Dean's laugh was contagious, I didn't find his story that funny, but when Dean laughs I can't help but laugh with him. It felt like no time at all that we were paying and leaving the restaurant, I was sad to see the night end. I think Dean was too, judging on how he was jiggling his keys.
"I had fun tonight Cas, thanks for this. It was nice getting out."
"Dean you look like a girl waiting for the boy to kiss her goodnight, if you want me to kiss you all you have to do is say so." Have I mentioned that I love to see that blush on his cheeks. Before I could kiss him, he grabbed my waist pulling me towards him and suddenly I felt his lips on mine.
People always say that the best kisses are those that make you see sparks, well I didn't see sparks but I did see and feel an explosion of them. One of his hands were at the back of my neck, playing with my hair there while the other one was still lingering on my hips, I had to hold on to his arms for support. His lips were moist, and tasted like potatoes, meat, and mint something that should have turned my stomach but made me want more. It was over too soon for my liking, but it was probably for the best. A little longer and I would have had my way with him right there in the middle of the sidewalk.
Pulling back, we just stood there looking at each other before he bent down one more time to place a small chaste kiss on my lips.
"Been wanting to do that all night."
"Hmm me too. I need to get going though I need to be up early. I had fun though Dean we should do it again."
"Yeah definitely, I'll txt you later. Have a good night Cas." With that he walked down the street to his car, looking back one time and throwing a wink at me. Touching my lips, I couldn't help but think that this boy might just be the death of me.