Meredith laid in Derek's arms sleeping soundly. It felt so perfect there. like that was the only place she was ever supposed to be. that was the way it was meant to be. Them together and happy. They had sought hard to get where they were. Now this was the happily ever after part. Or so it should be.
"Ah..." Meredith moaned as she heard the alarm clock begin to blare loudly.
"Oh god... Already?" Derek moaned as he stretched and pulled her close to his body.
"Unfortunately, yes." Meredith told him as she rolled onto his stomach.
"Good morning." Derek said softly as he pecked kisses on her face.
"Good morning." Meredith said as she kissed him back.
Meredith smiled as she felt the presence of his morning wood pressing against her. She needed sex. She needed him. She moaned as Derek buried his face into her chest and began to kiss her softly. Derek's arms rubbed her back as he flung his tongue into her mouth. She allowed herself to taste him for a moment before pulling away.
"I have surgery." Meredith moaned as she pulled away.
"Ah... Me too." Derek said with disappointment. "But we could multi-task."
"Oh really? And what is your suggestion?" Meredith asked as she crawled out of the bed.
"Um. We could shower together. That would cut time." Derek said with a dirty smile.
"So true. But I have a feeling that would lengthen our shower time. Because I doubt we would do much bathing." Meredith pointed out quickly.
"That would be my plan." Derek said with a cheesy grin.
"It may be the best plan you have had in awhile." Meredith said with a giggle as she ran towards the bathroom. She stopped in her tracks when she heard Liam's cries.
"He's up early." Derek said softly. He was trying not to be disappointed. He knew it wasn't his son's fault.
"This is why I try to bath at night. He is used to our schedule." Meredith said with a smile as she walked out of the bedroom.
"So I will just... Get in the shower." Derek muttered as he opened the glass door and flipped the water in.
Meredith smiled happily as she walked to Liam's crib. He quit crying as soon as he looked into her eyes. She picked him up and held him against her chest as she walked him over and changed his diaper. Meredith searched through and found a cute little onesie that Mark and Addison bought. The one that said my daddy saved your daddy's life, and had a scalpel on it. Addison was always finding cute things for Liam that had medical themes. Liam was the cutest when he wore his tiny scrubs.
"You ruined mommy's fun. But that's okay. I still love you!" She said as she kissed his chubby face.
Derek came out to the kitchen and smiled. She looked so perfect as she sat at the breakfast table picking at her eggs. Liam was firmly attached to her breast, eating his breakfast. She had a plate of eggs and toast sitting on the table for him.
"You are so beautiful." Derek told her with a smile as he sat down at the table.
"Why do you say that?" Meredith asked as she glanced up.
"You just look so perfect sitting there. You are providing for our son. I just- I've never seen anything so perfect." He told her again as he took a sip of his coffee. "So what surgery do you have today?"
"Mark is doing a facial reconstruction." She said with a smile as she took another bite. "Leelee... You are such a big eater."
"He is. He eats like his mom." Derek replied with a grin.
"Maybe. But that wasn't very nice. Tell daddy not to say mean things to mommy. No teasing... Leelee says to be nice." Meredith told him.
"Is that so, LP?" Derek asked as looked up at him. Liam pulled away and looked up at Meredith. "Here... Let me have him. You go finish getting ready."
"Are you sure?" Meredith asked as she walked around the table.
"Of course I am." Derek agreed as he grabbed his son. "How is the best baby is the world? How is daddy's big guy?" Derek asked as he laid Liam against him as patted his back.
Meredith left the room and finished getting ready for work. She felt good. Derek was spending some much needed time with Liam. As she looked in the mirror, a smiling face reflected back at her. Maybe it would all be okay. She quickly jogged back into the kitchen.
"Oh fuck!" Derek shouted. Liam began crying at Derek's loud yell.
"Oh my god!" Meredith said as she looked at the spit-up running down Derek's back. "Don't say that word!" Meredith snapped as she walked up and grabbed Liam. "You're okay..." She whispered as she held him close. "Daddy needs to change." Meredith told him with giggle. "You made daddy a mess."
"Yes you did." Derek said as he began unbuttoning his shirt and went to change. He came back out in a fresh shirt and tie. "Would you like to drive together?" Derek asked as he looked at her.
"We could do that." Meredith said with a nod as she got her things ready.
They drove together. Meredith was thinking foolishly enough that maybe if they drove together in her car that Derek would have to come home with her. But none of that mattered right now. They had just shared the perfect morning. And it felt so good.
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Meredith walked happily into the locker room. No one could miss the big smile that was plastered all over her face. It was like a beaming light reflecting off of her. No one said a word as she walked straight to her locker and opened it up.
"Someone is happy." Izzie finally said with a smile as she looked at Meredith.
"More like someone got laid." Alex said with a smirk as Meredith slid her top off.
"Actually, it was more like someone had a perfect morning that included waking up next to their husband and actually sharing breakfast." Meredith replied happily.
"So no one got laid. Well, that's not exciting." Alex said as he shook his head.
"Not everything is sex, Alex." Meredith told him firmly as she pulled off her jeans.
"Whoa! Did I hear you right? Did you- Wow... Meredith Grey. The one that has made sex into an art. The girl who could never get enough... Did she just say sex isn't everything?" Alex asked in shock.
"She did." George said with a chuckle.
"I did. And it's not." Meredith said frankly. "Although some sex would have been a rather nice garnish to my perfect morning."
"You know, I could help you out with that." Alex responded with a smirk.
"Evil spawn, Mer wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." Cristina said as she rolled her eyes. "And I would really like to know where my person is. I was really beginning to enjoy dark and dismal Meredith."
"Dark and dismal Meredith has left town. She left bright, shiny and satisfied Meredith." Meredith told her as she tied her shoes.
"But not sexually satisfied Meredith." Alex pointed out. "We know you well enough to know that you can't go long."
"How long has it been, anyway?" Cristina asked as she looked up at her.
"I don't want to talk about it." Meredith muttered as she pulled her hair back.
"Oh, Mer... That long?" Izzie asked sadly.
"Shit... Mer hasn't gotten any in so long, she's going to need some oil to help soften the rust." Cristina told everyone with a big laugh.
"It hasn't been that long." Meredith told them as she looked around.
The all looked at her. She sat there and thought about it. It hadn't been that long. Or had it? She closed her eyes and started to count the time. She started to feel sick when she realized just how long it had been. Liam was eight months old. Derek took the position as chief when he was six weeks only. And six weeks after that, was when he got ridiculously busy. It had been five months. She hadn't had sex in five months.
"Shit." Meredith muttered aloud.
"So how long?" Cristina pried as she looked at her friend.
"Five." Meredith said sadly as she looked at the floor.
"Five days... that's not bad." Alex said with a shrug.
"No. Not days." Meredith responded as she felt sick.
"Five weeks. Wow. That must be some kind of record for you and Shepherd." George said with a smile.
"No guys. Five- Five months." Meredith explained as she looked around.
"Oh. Wow. You guys have problems." Alex said frankly.
"Five months?" Cristina said in shock. "Everything I told you the other night? Scratch that. This is so much worse than I thought." Cristina said with a chuckle as she walked away.
They all left Meredith sitting on the bench. Everyone knew about Meredith and Derek's crazy sex life. They had always been all over each other. They would do it any time, any where. But it seems they had changed. Meredith frowned as she sat there. Derek was a guy that needed sex. What was going on? Was he not interested in her? Or was he getting it somewhere else?
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Meredith couldn't get it out of her head. Five months. That was just unheard of. She and John had gone six years. But that was different. Meredith and Derek were not like that. Sex wasn't everything. But it sure as hell was a big part. An now they didn't have that. Everything was in fives all morning. Five pills. Five bandages. Five rolls of coban. They were taunting her.
"So... Have you decided on a specialty yet?" Mark asked as he worked on his patient's face.
"Well, I was thinking Neuro. But I don't know. I have absolutely no idea. I can see myself doing anything. And I don't want to be tied down with something I hate, you know?" Meredith asked as she held the facial tissue back.
"Well, maybe you should go into general surgery like your mother did." Mark suggested as he looked up at her.
"I don't know. I like the variety of general. But it's almost like you can't do anything. Like- Ah... Like you don't specialize. Like you just skim over everything, but can't do anything really well. I want to really kick ass at one thing." Meredith explained as she glanced up at him.
"I can see that. I'm sure plastics would be more than happy to have you." Mark said with a nod as he looked up.
"You never know." Meredith agreed with a shrug.
"It's not just about making people pretty. Everyone thinks it's shallow. But look at his man. His face was completely ruined in an accident. We're fixing it and he will now be a happier more confident guy. How much better can it get?" Mark asked her.
"I guess you're right. It's not just boobs and nose jobs." Meredith said with a smile.
"No. But it is a lot of the time. I do boobs more than anything." Mark said with a smirk.
"Well, I don't see why. To be honest, I'm not too fond of my additions." She said looking down at her larger breast feeding chest. "They just get in the way."
"Ah. That may be. But I bet it makes Derek happy." Mark said with a chuckle. He stopped laughing as he looked down at her. "Is everything okay?"
"Um... Well.. How long- Um. You have known Derek all your life, right?" Meredith asked as she looked up.
"Pretty much, why?" Mark asked with concern.
"How long- What is the longest he has gone without sex?" Meredith asked as she looked up.
"Um... Well. Derek... It depends, I guess. Not long. If he's happy, not long at all. It's not like he goes out searching. He's not me." Mark said with a chuckle. "But I would say- Well, you should know, he's crazy about you. Why?"
"No reason." Meredith said as her face dropped.
"You can talk to me. I mean, if you want to. I'm not Addison. But I'll listen." Mark told her with a smile.
"It's been five months. Since we had sex. I didn't realize it had been that long until I sat and thought about it. Five months. And we used to be just about every night. And- I'm- I guess he's just not interested in me anymore." Meredith blurted out. Strangely enough, telling Mark did make her feel better.
"Oh. Wow. Not bad wow. Just... I'm surprised. But he loves you, Mer. He just has a lot on his plate. The job. And now you guys have Liam. But he loves you. After he gets used to things... You guys will be fine." Mark said reassuringly.
"I- Yeah. I hope so." Meredith muttered as she looked down at the patient.
This morning she was on tope of the world. And now she was back to living in a mess. She had thought they were getting better. And then reality set it. This was how it was. It was just another tiny bandaid covering a huge wound.
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Meredith looked down the hallway. Derek was leaned against the nurses station, reading a chart intently. He always furrowed his brow when he was either confused or irritated. She had to talk to him. Even if it wasn't the best time, she had to say something. She couldn't take keeping it all to herself.
"Hey." Meredith said softly as she walked up and kissed Derek on the cheek. "How did the surgery go?"
"I lost the patient. It was fifty fifty. But it doesn't make it any easier." Derek said as he kissed her back.
"I'm so sorry... I know how it feels." Meredith said as she rubbed his hand.
"How was yours?" Derek asked as he looked over.
"It was great. Mark is amazing. This guy is going to be so happy when the bandages come off." Meredith said with a smile.
"Mark always was amazing. You know, when we were young, all he did was walk around looking at faces. Every girl he dated... Shoot, every girl I dated, he was pointing out their imperfections. He was a born plastics god." Derek said with a chuckle.
"Yeah. It's... I don't know. It's an option." Meredith stated frankly.
"What?" Derek asked in shock. "You are considering plastics?"
"Yeah. I mean, I'm definitely not counting it out." Meredith told him with a nod.
"I thought you wanted to go into neuro." Derek said, somewhat hurt.
"I'm really not sure what I want." Meredith said frankly.
"Oh. I just assumed that you would do neuro. I thought I would be your teacher." Derek said sadly.
"It's not off the table. I just want to keep my options open." Meredith told him. "Don't be hurt, Derek."
"I'm not." Derek said quickly. "It's no big deal."
They both stood there quietly. It was a big deal. He was hurt. He thought for sure that he would be her teacher. He thought they would share a love for the brain. and instead she wanted to become shallow and do plastics. He frowned as he stood there. It was her choice. H had no right to judge.
"What's wrong, Mer?" Derek asked as he looked up.
"It's been five months, Derek. We haven't had sex in five months. And that's not normal. Not for us. I mean, we used to have sex daily and now- You like sex. You like it a lot. Is it me? Is it from Liam? I tried to get my body back in shape for you. I just want you to be happy. So if it's me, just tell me. I don't want you to be unhappy." Meredith said sadly.
"Oh, Mer... It hasn't been five months. No way." Derek said as he shook his head.
"You became chief when Liam was six moths old. And the last time we had sex he was three months old. It's been five months." Meredith explained.
"Oh my god... It has. I've just been so busy." Derek said with a sigh. "Oh Mer... It's not you. I'm so sorry, baby. You are gorgeous. And sexy. And it's not you. We- We need some sex."
"We do." Meredith agreed with a smile. Meredith looked down at her beeping pager. "Shit... It's the pit. I have to go."
"Okay. See you later." Derek said as he kissed her.
Derek watched her jog away. He felt so bad. He hadn't realized it had been that long. He knew it had been away. But five moths was unheard of. He was definitely going to have to do something about that. He did not want her to feel like something was wrong. With him. Or herself.