Chapter 4: Defining Moments
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You and I are defined by no one. Who we are is in the way we live and breathe. And even in the torrent that swells around us, our hands will always find each other and calmly anchor us as we grow and evolve…
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"So…the elders of my family attacked me and tore away the part of me that remembers being a shinigami…but, Renji, why? If I was their leader, then why did they do that?"
Renji sighed and looked down at the noble's hands where they rested on the blankets.
"It's my fault," he confessed in a soft voice, "They did it because of me."
"Because of you?" Byakuya queried, "And what could you have done to make them loose such venom on me?"
Renji sighed and lowered his eyes.
"It's…complicated. I don't know…how to…explain."
The dark eyes met his with surprising perceptiveness.
"Are you from a rival noble clan? Did you best me in battle?" he asked.
Renji's eyes widened in surprise.
"H-how did you…?"
Then he looked down at his disheveled uniform as Byakuya gave him an unexpected smile.
"Judging by your appearance, I would say that we did battle prior to the actions taken by my noble cousins. What I don't understand is why…if you are my vice captain, we would have been fighting. Or if we had been trying to kill each other…then why you would concern yourself so greatly with my welfare. Truly, you are a confusing person, Renji."
Renji smiled back at him.
"Not really, Captain. M-maybe I should explain."
"Very well," Byakuya said, nodding, "But you shouldn't call me your captain. In my current state, I likely bear little resemblance to the person you remember."
"What are you talking about?" Renji asked, his eyes softening, "You think it matters to me that you're human now? That it changes one bit, who you are to me? Because it doesn't. You are still my captain. You've just been hurt…and it's my job to protect you until you are well again."
Byakuya took a steadying breath and studied Renji carefully. The dark eyes bored into Renji's brown ones and the redhead sensed that the noble was mulling something over in his mind.
"We battled each other…but you do not have a desire to see me die. Yet something you did caused my noble cousins to turn on me and try to destroy me. If it is not that you are of a rival clan and bested me in battle, I can think of little you could have done to rile them so…but…I have a suspicion…"
Renji froze as Byakuya's hand cupped his cheek, coaxing him closer as he leaned forward and brought their lips together. The noble watched the redhead closely as they kissed, observing the initial reticence, the clenching of his hands, widening of his eyes, but also the fact that he did not resist. Byakuya released him and sat back against the pillows, considering.
"You are…not noble, then?" he asked softly.
Renji gave him a crooked grin and laughed.
"Captain, I'm about as 'not noble' as you can get!"
Comprehension lit the dark gray eyes and he bit softly at his lip, gazing at Renji.
"So…how did we end up fighting?" he asked, "because I sense no desire in you to kill me or to see harm come to me. To the contrary, you seem more protective."
"It's kind of a long story," Renji said, rising and sitting down on the edge of the bed, looking out the window.
Byakuya gave him a tolerant look.
"Well…as you can see, I have little else to do…so please…continue."
"I guess it starts with your late wife, Hisana and her younger sister…and my best friend, Rukia. The three of us grew up in a poor area of the Rukongai."
"Rukongai?"
"It's where the commoners live in Soul Society, where we come from. The shinigamis live in an area called Seireitei. And the Seireitei is home to the Gotei 13, which protects the king…and the noble houses, which serve the king as well. Anyway, you grew up in the greatest of the noble houses, the Kuchiki clan…and you joined the Gotei 13 on your way to becoming a captain. But before you achieved that ranking, you were given a mission to Inuzuri in the Rukongai…and somehow you were injured. You were found and cared for by a woman named Hisana…and the two of you fell in love, despite your family's rule that nobles were not allowed to mix with commoners. You were married to her in defiance of their rules for five years. She fell ill and as she lay dying, she asked you to find and protect her younger sister, who she had abandoned as a baby because she could not care for her. You found Rukia a year later at the shinigami academy, training to join the Gotei 13. The day you came to ask her to allow your family to adopt her was the day you and I first laid eyes on each other. You walked past me and I was nearly frozen by the level of power you radiated. I don't know if you even noticed me…but I sure noticed you…"
"Do not tell me that it was love at first sight…"
"No," smiled Renji, "not even close."
The redhead's eyes hazed over slightly as he remembered.
"I hated you for taking Rukia away. She and I grew up in Inuzuri together…we were really close. And because she joined your family, she and I didn't even speak to each other for forty years until I became your vice captain and was considered worthy of the privilege."
"I begin to see how we end up battling," Byakuya commented, "but I'm still not clear on how we ended up being so enamored of each other that we would incite such wickedness in my family by…having a…relationship."
"Well…I'll get to that…but it wasn't our affection for each other that set things off."
"No?" the noble queried.
"Rukia got into trouble when a shinigami named Sousuke Aizen set her up to be arrested and charged with capital crimes. As a member of the noble Kuchiki family, you felt it was your duty to allow her execution when she was convicted."
"I let my own sister be sentenced to death?" Byakuya mused.
"You thought that as one who was supposed to set an example for others, you had to uphold the laws and allow the execution to proceed."
"Which, I imagine, stoked your ire?"
Renji nodded.
"We fought and you defeated me. But shortly after, the guy you saw with Kisuke…Ichigo…defeated you and you agreed not to pursue Rukia when he freed her. But Aizen showed up and revealed his manipulations…then ordered one of his goons to kill Rukia. Your sword had been broken and your reiatsu was depleted from battle, but you flash stepped in out of nowhere and took the hit for her. And after that…I couldn't hate you. I really started to respect you. I still wanted to defeat you…but now so that I would stand on equal ground with you. And as I trained with you, I fell in love with you…and eventually, I could see that you returned that feeling. For the longest time, I waited for you to say or do something…but…I didn't realize it…the reason you didn't was because you knew the elders would sense it…and after you defied the noble rules twice by marrying Hisana and by adopting Rukia, the Kuchiki elders made you swear a vow to obey the laws of the clan…or…they would…do this to you."
"So…at some point, I confessed my love to you?" Byakuya asked.
"Well…it was yesterday. You see, you and I would meet in the training grounds once a month and do battle…no holds barred, no protections. And yesterday…for the first time, I was able to defeat you. I was healing your injuries…and…I guess because I finally felt worthy of being with you…I…kissed you…and then…I…well…"
"I assume that whatever happened after that kiss was…consensual," Byakuya said matter-of-factly, "I don't think you seem the type who would force himself on anyone, let alone one reeling from recent injury…"
Renji let out a frustrated breath.
"Well…I guess…I didn't force you…but, Captain…"
"Bya," said the noble.
"Huh?" said Renji, blinking.
"I said, call me Bya."
"B-bya?" stammered the redhead, stunned at the suggestion that he use such informality.
"Renji…I am not the captain you remember…and apparently, we exchanged physical pleasantries only yesterday. I can hardly have you hold to such formality with me at this point."
"B-but I…called you Captain while we were making love…"
"I must have been too much in the moment to object…so I'll object now."
Renji stared at him in surprise.
"Are you…sure you're Byakuya Kuchiki?" he asked.
The sound he heard next was as beautiful as it was unexpected. Renji stared harder at the sight and sound of the normally stoic noble laughing.
"Renji…I'm sure of nothing at this moment. Remember, my awareness extends from the moment I woke. I have to take your word for everything else. Well…except for what I felt when I kissed you. Whatever happened between us after our training battle…I know it was by mutual agreement, no matter how I resisted the urge to give in to you. So please…do not torment yourself over it any longer. Yes…my life has been completely disrupted…and I have no idea what will happen…but…I think that with you at my side, I will weather whatever comes much better than without you. We should focus on the important things…keeping each other safe and alive…enjoying the time we have together…and…perhaps exploring what we feel for each other…if you are still interested in me, despite my current, weakened state. Perhaps you may have lost interest…"
"Wh-what? Cap…Bya…no! Hell no! Look…I didn't fall in love with you because you were powerful. Sure…it was part of you. But it wasn't everything."
"But you said, yourself that you were driven by a desire to surpass me…to be able to defeat me in battle. You would barely have to lift a finger to do that now…"
"That doesn't matter…really, it doesn't. I look at you the way you are now, and I don't see anything that makes me love you less. If anything, I love you more. I'm seeing and hearing things from you that I never have, Bya. I've never…in all this time…really heard you laugh. And even though our situation is pretty dire…to hear you laugh like that…Bya…that's just…beautiful."
He smiled at the blush that rose on the noble's cheeks at his words. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Byakuya's again, closing his eyes and sighing happily. The noble met his mouth eagerly, nipping his lips and thrusting his tongue inside, exploring the depths with soft, questing touches and eliciting a contented moan from Renji. Their kissing intensified and Renji brought his body down on top of Byakuya's and thrust against him hungrily.
"Why are you looking at me…like that?" Renji asked, attacking the noble's pale throat with open mouthed kisses and pulling at the tie on his yukata.
Byakuya's eyes darkened with building passion and his lips curved into a sweltering smile.
"Your tattoos…are rather hypnotic…may I?" he asked.
Renji nodded and sank into his mouth again, slowly removing their clothes as the noble traced the intricate black markings with curious eyes and clam, searching fingertips. The redhead felt a sharp twinge of arousal at the noble's touch and tightened his tanned body against the noble's paler one, returning to his mouth for another bout of intense kisses. Byakuya's eyes locked on his and lit with sudden recognition. Renji caught his breath in surprise.
"Y-you…remember something?" he asked, panting for breath.
Byakuya shook his head.
"Not in the way you are thinking…my mind is still a blank about many things…but…my body remembers you. It remembers how you made it feel…and longs to feel that way again…I think…"
Renji smiled.
Are you…sure?" he asked, nuzzling beneath the noble's chin and kissing his way up the pale throat and nipping at a soft earlobe, "I mean…last time…you got into trouble with…"
He sat up quickly, nearly causing them to tumble out of the bed. Byakuya wrapped an arm around him to steady him.
"Bya…what if the elders…sense this…us doing…this?"
"Do not worry, Renji," the noble chided him, "I have no powers…no reiatsu. I won't be detected by them."
"Ah…" sighed Renji, falling back into his arms and loosing another hot torrent of kisses on Byakuya's mouth and throat, "That's right…"
"It's only the two of us now," Byakuya whispered against his lips, then warmly claimed his mouth again, "And there is nothing to make us hold back anymore…"
He turned suddenly and pushed a surprised Renji down onto his back, launching another, more thorough exploration of the redhead's tattoos with brushings of his lips and soft, wet strokes with his tongue. Renji stared at the sweet, contented expression and the dark, curious eyes that looked up to meet his, peeking out from beneath a fall of raven black strands as the noble worked his way slowly down the redhead's naked flesh. He sank his tongue into Renji's navel, sucking deeply and making him moan and push his hips upward. He moved down further, following the fine red hairs down his lower abdomen and kissing his way downward, pleasuring him shamelessly until Renji could stand no more and impetuously toppled him.
Renji trapped the noble's body beneath his again and crawled slowly down its lovely length, returning, stroke for stroke, the loving attention Byakuya had given him. He lifted his body away, then spread his thighs and settled down onto the noble's thick arousal, taking him inside in short, unhurried thrusts. He looked down into the dark, smoky eyes and straightened himself. Byakuya's hands slid down and settled on his hips as Renji began a slow, rhythmic dance atop him, making the noble's eyes glaze over and his words fade into incomprehensible gasps of deep contentment. He continued the stunningly intense motion until Byakuya's eyes blackened with arousal and heat exploded inside the redhead as the noble's pleasure peaked. He slowed the movement of his hips, watching the heaving of Byakuya's chest and smiling as the pulses of heat seared his insides. Finally, he pulled away and parted the dazed noble's thighs and sank into his body, thrusting into him as he laced their fingers together and breathed heatedly against the noble's damp throat. Byakuya's hands slid down his back and wrapped around his bottom, coaxing him into faster, deeper thrusts until he gave a sharp, heaving gasp and released into the noble's seething core. His body shook with intense pleasure and his head swam as he collapsed into Byakuya's arms and stopped moving.
"Oh…kami, that was…amazing…" he whispered, "I've never felt anything that good, Bya!"
Byakuya laughed.
"I would say the same, he panted softly, "but I really wouldn't know if that would be the truth…having lost my memory…"
"Well…" said Renji breathlessly, "Then, when I can move again, I'll have to give you something to compare it to!"