Chapter 4
The Promise

Walking away from this situation was most heartbreaking for me. I wanted to just turn around and go back for him, yet I was only there for one reason. I was there for my Doctor, and now I had to tell him why he was here. Why his past self was watching the celestial rose.

As I approached the staircase leading down back into the ballroom I took a moment to just listen. I was listening to the music rising from the ballroom and soaring into the darkened corridor lighten by moonlight. I began to find myself swaying to the music, imagining I was once again in the Doctors arms.

I closed my eyes and relived the scene. I bowed to my imaginary Doctor standing before me. I lifted my arm as if to grab onto his shoulder once again. I started to dance around in a circle, and my scene started to become more and more real. I felt as if the Doctor was holding me, as if his smell was still lingering in the cold night air. And then I felt something strange, as if something grabbed onto my waist and started to dance with me. At that moment I quickly opened my eyes to see who was holding me.

It was my Doctor. His floppy hair was hanging low in his face, and he was smiling at me. I backed away from him in complete shock because I didn't even know it was him. I was imagining dancing with his past self, and not his current self. I was trying to wrap my head around this current situation.

"Sorry Clara. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just you started to take a bit longer than I expected it would take, so I decided to come after you." He put his hands in front of his face and started to shake them as enough to reassure me.

I took in a deep breath and nodded at him. Then my Doctor walked toward me with a curious face on.

"Do you mind if I ask why you were dancing alone up here?" He said with a fading grin.

"I uh, just got carried away with the music I guess." I was trying to hide the fact that I just shared a passionate moment with his past self, and not him. Then I noticed the Doctor look at me with darkened eyes. He was no longer smiling, but he was sneering.

"You guess?" He started to walk closer and closer to me. He was speaking in a sarcastic voice, and the scary part was that he never took his eyes off of mine. I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't. I had to pretend that nothing was wrong, and nothing happened.

The Doctor then grabbed onto my shoulders and pushed me against the wall behind me forcefully. He was staring so deep into my eyes that I could no longer lie. This was a completely different man. He was angry and vicious. I thought he was going to kill me with the stare he was giving me. The storm has come, and I was standing right in the middle of it.

"Why Clara? I asked you to just question him, but instead you dance with him! You make me feel betrayed Clara! Why dance with him when your here to dance with me! Your Doctor!"

And then I could see it. He was jealous. I just never knew the Doctor could be so violent when he becomes jealous! He was shaking me, and yelling at me. I was terrified of him.

"Doctor please, let me go."

"Why didn't you let me go?! You could have just walked away from me Clara like I asked you! You didn't need to betray me completely! I remember you saying the words so clearly it hurts me now that you would have preferred him over me! Did you ever once think about me, Clara?! I'm still him! I'm still that man! I'm your Doctor!"

I could hear the pain in his voice, he was saddened by my actions, and extremely jealous of himself. I cursed at myself, and deep within my heart I was dying all over again. Dying for him. Then I felt the Doctor's grip loosen on my shoulders. I fell to the floor, I no longer wanted to stand. The guilt was so heavy I could no longer lift the burden. I have made my Doctor angry at me, and now he hated me.

In my tears I mumbled "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Forgive me. My Doctor." The presence of my Doctor never left. I could still feel him lingering over me looking down at me in either anger or in pity. Then he crouched down next to me and started to hug me. I started to cry into his vest, and now I was even more sorry because my makeup was smearing onto his clothes.

He began to stroke my back in a calm manner. He was forgiving me, and then I could hear him whisper into my ear.

"Don't lie to me ever again."

I looked up at him with tears running down my face, and I saw his tears as well. He ran his fingers across my cheek to wipe away my tears. And in my pathetic whimpers I said to him "I have yet to dance with you."

And I saw his wonderful smile return to his face once again. It warmed my heart that he still had such forgiving hearts. Deep in my soul I promised my Doctor once again. A promise that can never be broken.

Suddenly it came to my mind that since the Doctor remembered everything that happened on the balcony, does that mean he remembers me kissing him? Or can he even remember on why he is here now?

I stared at the Doctor and said in a stuttering manner "Do you remember?"

He looked at me in confusion. It took him a while to understand and so he just nodded. I didn't know if he really knew what I was asking him though.

"No, Doctor. Do you remember? Do you remember it all?" I looked at him again with curios and frightened eyes. I wouldn't really want him to remember kissing me. Especially, me, kissing the wrong him.

The Doctor stood up and pulled me up with him. He took my waist and hand, and began to dance with me. Only this time it wasn't a different dance. It was the same exact dance I did with his tenth version only moments ago! He memorized ever step, and every dip. My feelings were stirring inside me because how could he remember something like this? This would have happened to him years and years ago, and yet he remembers.

At the final dip I could feel his breath on my neck, just like before. He lifted me up slowly and looked into my eyes. "How could I forget, my impossible girl?"

I smiled at him, and I felt as if my heart was going to beat out of my chest. Our first dance was the dance that stuck with him. It was our first dance after all. I placed my palm against his cheek. He was blushing, and his cheeks were growing warmer with every touch.

"It stuck with me, Clara. I promised myself that night that I would never forget you. Even if I had to forget due to my timelines intertwining. I never wanted to forget your touch, and the way you made me feel. You, Clara, yes you, have died for me a million times just to save my life. And that night you saved me from my loneliness, and I saw that you could see it in my eyes. You were special, and you were impossible. And you were mine."

I felt lifted, and blessed for such an amazing man. He really did love me, and now I had to prove to him I will love him no matter who he is.

"You forgot one move, Doctor." I said cheekily, hiding my grin."

"Oh? That's a bit disappointing after I said all that." He said looking up at the ceiling with a confused face trying to remember.

"Need my help?" I said giggling at him.

"That would be lovely, yes please."

I placed my hands on his cheeks and started to move forward. And then there was no more space between us. I felt him fumbling around for a bit, but then he knew exactly what to do. His lips were so different from his last self, but yet it didn't matter to me because this is the Doctor. This is the man I am in love with. No matter who he is, or what he has done I would always love him.

As we separated I looked at him. He was smiling at me and laughing to himself.

"Clara Oswald, still impossible as ever."

I winked at him, and pecked him on his cheek. He was so warm now, and like before, his hearts were racing. No matter who it is, it's never wrong. It was the Doctor, and he was my Doctor.

"Clara, we still haven't had our dance." He said looking down at me.

"Your right. I haven't had a fresh dance with this Doctor yet! That is very impolite of me. Shall we return to the dance floor, Doctor?"

"Indeed we shall, miss Oswald."