Chapter Three: See Me

Warning: self-harm mentioned ahead.

Lucinda relapsed that night. She'd gone back to self harming. The last time she even so much as touched a loose razor blade had been three years ago when her mum forgot to call on her birthday. It was an outlet she referred to only when she was utterly depressed…saddened to the point where she felt numb and hopeless inside. All she had in this world was once just her parents. With no siblings or outside family members intact, there had been nobody else.

It was after her mother had all but deserted the family that Luce turned to Dean. He was the one who got her to recover and quit with the destructive behavior.

…But now even he was gone, and with her father miles away…well, the cuts upon her wrists were still stinging as a result of her loneliness. She simply couldn't get over feeling insignificant. For her mother and best friend to leave her, Luce felt as if she would never be good enough for anybody to stick around. Even her dad would eventually break away. Her grades were nothing to be proud of…she had zero talent in her eyes and was this gigantic mess of a person from the inside out. Who would possibly want to be around her?

"Couldn't sleep?"

Not expecting anyone to be up this late, Luce jumped up from her seat in front of the Gryffindor common room fireplace in surprise.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she clutched her chest, trying to regain a normal breathing pattern.

"Sorry," Harry smiled sheepishly. He watched as the girl fiddled with the cloth covering her arms in an uncomfortable fashion. She looked a lot how he felt these days: Worn down by a rollercoaster of emotions. "Are you feeling okay?" he genuinely wanted to know.

She looked up with slightly wide eyes. It was then that Harry noticed their color. They looked like quarters: large, round, and a bright grey (almost silver) color.

Luce tucked away several black locks of hair covering her face; thinking about how desperately she needed a haircut as the curly mane nearly reached her naval. Luna might still have her beat in length, but it simply wasn't her style.

"Hello?" Harry waved a hand in front of her face, wondering why she'd zoned out all of a sudden.

She shook herself, trying to refocus. Her mind was all over the place tonight. "I'm fine, Harry. Thanks," Luce reassured unconvincingly.

He didn't buy it for a second. Her voice had been a lot like Hermione's whenever she was upset or stressed over something. Recognizing this, he knew better than to believe the lie. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong," he told her, "but I do know that you aren't telling the truth."

Immediately, Luce became defensive. She wasn't one to go around sharing her feelings or letting anyone know how she felt…Yet Harry, for whatever reason, somehow had the ability to see through her façade; and quite frankly, it bothered her to no end. While she disliked the morals Malfoy stood for, she'd always appreciated his ability to mask his emotions. It was something she'd been working on achieving since her mother left all those years ago. So, for this boy to just come along and see past her own mask (something even Dean could rarely do) had instantly put her on edge.

"I don't recall having taken any veritaserum," she crossed her arms, "so whether or not I'm being truthful is not something you can correctly determine," Luce narrowed her eyes now, challenging him.

"I don't need a potion to see that you're clearly upset over something," he countered, his voice calm. Harry wasn't too surprised by her sudden change in mood as he often reacted the same way whenever Ron or Hermione pestered him too much about how he was fairing.

"How would you know what I am or am not feeling?" she continued arguing, "You hardly know me."

"You're right," he agreed, "sorry I bothered you," Harry turned away, a bit annoyed. He wondered how his friends tolerated him when he behaved as she was. It was incredibly frustrating.

Luce sighed. She hadn't meant to come off so harshly. "Harry, wait," she called out for him as he started walking towards the fat lady's portrait.

"What?" he asked, still a bit irritated.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I haven't been having the best year so far and it wasn't fair for me to take my anger out on you," Luce continued. She had become quite good at apologies, what with her occasional random outbursts that were caused by bottling up her emotions for so long.

Harry's aggravation faded at her words, knowing what it felt like to be in her shoes, "It's fine," he convinced her.

However, Luce still felt guilty. "Where are you going?" she inquired, wanting to change the topic.

"For a walk," he replied simply.

"It's after curfew," she pointed out.

Harry only shrugged his shoulders, not caring much about the time. He often went out for walks at this hour in spite of it.

"Do you always disobey the rules?" Luce questioned, amused.

"No," he grinned, "I sleep sometimes."

"Mind if I join you?" she inquired boldly. Being alone wasn't something she desired given the circumstances. It wasn't as if a long, good nights worth of sleep awaited her anyways.

"Not at all," he replied honestly. It had been ages since someone had tagged along with him at this hour. He missed the company.

Luce smiled for the first time in hours and followed Harry through the portrait hole.

Reviewer Responses:

anon: I'm glad you do! Hopefully you will continue to. Thank you for reviewing!

BlueRose22: I will always update as soon as I'm able. I don't want to rush the chapters and have them be no good, you know? I enjoy writing stories that people can relate to and this topic hasn't been touched enough in my opinion. Anyways, thank you for the review!

Colors of the World: Your review gave me a lot to think about, which is an awesome thing. So, am I not capturing Hermione as well as I should be? Harry hasn't been too difficult as he is basically an understanding, caring, yet overwhelmed and slightly confused teenager. I'll keep writing to the best of my abilities. I'm sorry if the wait is too long, I just feel like it's better to take my time and post good chapters than do the opposite. Still, thank you for reviewing!