He snatched Klink's pistol and fired it three times in rapid succession.
Immediately all the prisoners jumped to their feet and attempted to stand at attention. Unfortunately by this point they were all bruised and out of breath, so the attention position now more closely resembled a huge mess. Carter stood up wheezing and clutching his stomach, feeling very winded. LeBeau was leaning heavily on one leg; the other he was convinced was damaged beyond repair. Hogan was more or less in one piece, but missing his hat. Kinch had already been standing for a while, his chair having been smashed when it hit the wall of barracks 2. He was feeling incredibly battered, but was in better condition that most of the others. Newkirk stood up last, surprisingly unharmed as he emerged from the very bottom of the pile-up proudly clutching the football. In fact, it appeared most of the British players had fared the best, probably due to years of experience playing versions of stool ball at school.
Once the prisoners were all looking in his direction, Klink decided it was time to get back on his feet. When the gun had gone off, he, Schultz and Langenscheidt had thrown themselves onto the ground in their own little mini pile-up. As he struggled to stand, Klink noticed the major already storming off back in the direction of the showers.
Klink stood awkwardly in front of everyone, not exactly sure what to say now that he finally had a chance to speak. He decided to start with being angry and go straight to a punishment; he could give a nice long lecture later when he had thought of one, and calmed the major down. He had looked pretty angry at his shower being interrupted.
"Prisoners of Stalag 13! Normally for such disgraceful behaviour I would have you all thrown in the cooler for a month. Unfortunately we don't have enough cells. So you are all confined to barracks until further notice with all privileges cancelled!"
The prisoners booed as Klink picked his gun off the ground, turned on his heel and stormed in the direction of his private quarters, now trying to work out what to say to the major. Schultz and Langenscheidt hobbled over, trying to shoo the prisoners back into their barracks. Unfortunately they seemed to have come out of the game worse than the prisoners, and could do little more than wave their rifles in what was assumed to be a shooing motion.
Once inside, most of the men collapsed onto their bunks using various choice words to express how they felt; sore, tired and sore. Only Newkirk seemed to have any energy left and he delighted in doing a few jumps on the spot to prove it to the others, grinning when they glared at him. LeBeau served everyone coffee, deliberately leaving Newkirk until last, and then got to work on the breakfast he hadn't had time to finish earlier. It didn't take him long to have it ready, much to the displeasure of everyone who had to force themselves to get back out of their bunks to eat. Despite their complaints, the men ate their breakfast eagerly, causing a smile of pleasure to form on LeBeau's face.
The men finished eating quickly, and were just settling in their bunks again (apart from Newkirk, who remained at the table whistling cheerfully and building a castle out of his deck of cards) when Schultz burst in through the door, closely followed by an angry looking Klink.
"Achtung! Everybody ACHTUNG!" bellowed Schultz.
Newkirk swore as his castle of cards went flying in various directions.
"Alright, what's going on out here?" asked Hogan. He walked slowly out of his office, yawning and stretching as if he didn't have a care in the world. Klink scowled at him.
"Somehow, two of the best chairs from my private quarters ended up in that disgraceful game of yours. Both of them are smashed beyond repair. I want the guilty party to confess at once so he can be thrown into the cooler!"
Hogan appeared to look thoughtful for a moment. "Do you mean literally thrown into the cooler sir? I'm pretty sure that's against the Geneva Convention. Now I think-"
What Hogan thought nobody ever found out. Klink was already getting a headache, an effect Colonel Hogan invariably seemed to have upon him, and so without another word he turned and stormed out of the barracks. With a "naughty naughty" aimed at Newkirk, Schultz followed.
Once the door had shut behind them, Hogan turned to face Newkirk, arms folded across his chest. "Klink's best chairs?" was all he asked.
Newkirk felt a little uncomfortable under the stern gaze of his commanding officer, but he answered without any show of nervousness in his voice. "Well, we needed th' chairs in a 'urry, where else was I supposed t' get 'em?"
Hogan merely rolled his eyes, turned around and headed back to his office. Before he could reach it, the door of the main barracks burst open again which elicited some more choice words from Newkirk who had just started rebuilding his card castle. The rest of the men groaned, annoyed at having their rest interrupted yet again.
Schultz stepped back inside anyway, ignoring the protests. "Kommandant Klink has ordered a head count to make sure none of you prisoners tried to escape during that crrrazy game of yours! Colonel Hogan, none of the men did try to escape, did they?"
Hogan didn't answer, instead allowing Schultz to do the count and find out for himself that everyone was still there. Everyone except Baker anyway, he was still down in the tunnels monitoring the radio. As if on cue, Schultz turned back to Hogan.
"Colonel Hogaaan, there is one man missing. Please, where is Baker? No, don't tell me, I want to know nothing. Nothing! But please, Colonel Hogan, he will be back?"
"Who says 'e even left Schultzie?" asked Newkirk, giving up on his castle.
"Yeah Schultz," joined in Carter from where he lay on his bunk. "He might still be in camp you know."
"Just waaay underneath it in a tunnel," added LeBeau.
Kinch smirked. "So he might not have actually gone past the camp fence, which means he is still in camp."
Schultz began to look horrified. "But digging tunnels is verboten! Even if they don't leave the camp, it is against the rules!"
"It is? Why didn't anyone tell me we aren't allowed to dig tunnels?" demanded Hogan, pretending to be shocked.
"Sorry sir, it must have slipped my mind. I think you were listening to the BBC on the radio the day Klink made that announcement," replied Kinch with the best guilty face he could muster. It wasn't easy; Schultz now looked so horrified it was almost impossible not to laugh.
"I hear nothing. NOTHING!" whined Schultz, covering his ears with his hands and almost running to the door in his haste to exit the barracks.
As soon as he was out the sound of knocking came from underneath the bunk containing the tunnel entrance. LeBeau, who happened to be nearest, immediately pushed the button which caused the bottom bead to rise, revealing the tunnel entrance and Colonel Crittendon. Hogan groaned; he had almost forgotten about Crittendon.
"I say you chaps. Baker has just received some instructions from London and he asked me to pass them on. Didn't seem to trust me to watch his radio. Can't think why. Must be overly protective of the thing. Anyway, London wants you to destroy the research papers of one of the scientists working at a secret synthetic fuel plant near here."
"Yeah, we know the one," responded Hogan, his brain already forming a few vague plans while it waited for more details.
"Apparently the underground photographed the research and sent it to London, but they didn't get a chance to destroy the original stuff, so London is passing the task on to you."
Hogan crossed his arms, waiting impatiently for the rest of the important details.
"The scientist's name is Gretchen Schnieder and the papers are kept locked in her desk at the plant. London says they need to be destroyed in the next forty-eight hours."
"Well, we can't do anything tonight," began Hogan, who was now pacing back and forth across the barracks. The rest of the men sat quietly out of his way, wondering what he would come up with. "Even if you guys had the energy tonight, we need to be in camp when the convoy blows. Crittendon, ask Baker to contact the underground and see if they have any additional information about the plant, such as the layout and where this scientist's office is located. Tell them we need all the information we can get by tomorrow night."
Crittendon saluted smartly, or at least as smartly as he could when he was still standing on the ladder in the tunnel entrance, and then disappeared to report to Baker.
oOoOoOoOo
The rest of the day was spent resting, complaining about being sore and insulting the British population of the camp for their 'horrible' sports. The British, in turn, teased the Australians for their 'stupid choice of ball.' All the men were grateful when it was time for lights out, and most were asleep before their heads hit the mattresses. They slept peacefully until midnight, when a loud noise sounding suspiciously like a truck convoy exploding woke them up with a start.