Disclaimer: Maze runner is not mine what so ever – thank you for leaving your thoughts, they mean so much :)
"So greenie" Thomas heard to his right, Newt's voice snapping him from his daydream, "You ready to talk about this yet or...?"
"Talk about what?" He shot back, still in denial over everything that had happened, his head spinning – not only was he confused and scared for himself but now he felt terrible and guilty over the fact he had made this strange girl feel so alone and broken.
"Talk about the fact that girl over there is carrying your baby" And Thomas gulped nervously, staring at Newt as the other boy was looking at him like 'get with the programme idiot', "That's not something you can ignore"
"She hates me though" Thomas said miserably, running a hand through his hair, "And... and I don't remember why" And Newt's eyes softened slightly as Thomas allowed himself to slide down the wall of the maze so he was sitting cross legged on the ground, his eyes glazing over with tears.
"You left her" Newt said quietly and Thomas sighed guiltily, "Maybe that's why she looks like she wants your head on a stake every-time I see her" And Thomas just sent Newt a mild glare and the boy in return just held his hands up in surrender, "Her words, not mine...and anyway, bad shucking move gree-"
"Yes I'm well aware" Thomas suddenly snapped, his hands dropping from his head as he glared at newt, "I'm well aware how much of an ass move it was leaving her when she's... she's..." He stumbled over his words, voice loosing the fire in it, "She's... pregnant" He bit his lip, wringing his hands together, "Shuck... this isn't a dream?"
"It's no dream" Newt mumbled, kneeling in front of him, "Sorry mate" And Thomas glanced up at the darkening sky, feeling like it matched his mood perfectly, "But you can still make things right – after all, it's not like we've got anywhere else to go is it?" And Thomas furrowed his eyebrows.
"You think I can make this right?" He asked quietly because he wanted to, he really really wanted to.
"If you try hard enough" Newt agreed, "But sitting here like a piece of klunk isn't trying in my book, come on, get up" And Thomas glanced up warily as Newt leapt to his feet, holding out his hand to him, "Well? Do you want your girlfriend and baby back or not?" And Thomas knew Newt was right – he had to try, try to remember, try to get her to forgive him, try and do anything in his power to make things right, even if it was the last thing he ever did.
He accepted Newt's outstretched hand, allowing the other boy to pull him to his feet, "Now that's more like it, Tommy boy is back in business" And Thomas had to give a small smile at Newt's enthusiasm and encouragement, "But just so you know, uncle Newt won't be changing any diapers" And Thomas actually laughed lightly at that, his face brightening up considerably.
"Understood" And Newt clapped him on the back, nodding towards the forest.
"Good, glad we're on the same page, now I saw her go over there a few hours ago... best start there" And he pushed him forward slightly in the right direction, "But don't shuck things up again, okay?"
"Okay" Thomas smiled, "Thanks Newt" And with that Thomas took a few hesitant steps forward before the determination set in – he needed them back, no scrap that, he wanted them back... having no memory was hellish and lonesome but just having the smallest glimpse of Caroline he felt whole again, like there was something worth fighting for... surely that meant something, right? Surely it meant that despite the fact he had no memories he felt something for her? He was sure it did.
He took brisk steps towards the forest, allowing himself to take a deep breath to calm down his racing heart because he really didn't want to shuck things up again, he wanted her to forgive him, he wanted them to be 'them' again... even if he didn't exactly know what they were.
He stepped into the forest, looking around curiously and expectantly, keeping his eyes wide open for any movement and didn't see any until he heard a twig snap somewhere to his right and just about jumped out of his skin, holding up his fists as some form of defence even if he wasn't all that strong.
"Chuck? Kid you scared me" Thomas breathed out, running a hand down his face, "what you doing out here?" He asked curiously, forehead crinkling as Chuck just shrugged, his plump face puffing out a loud sigh.
"Just talking to Caroline... She seemed lonely" and Thomas' heart skipped a beat, "I didn't want her to be by herself when she was upset" and Thomas bit his lip, looking past Chuck, his mouth screwed up in thought, "she called me sweetie and gave me half of her sandwich, said Newt made her enough to feed an army and joked she was only catering for an extra plus one" Chuck looked at him with wide childlike eyes, "are you looking for her?"
"Uh... Yeah... I am" Thomas nodded, suddenly getting nervous again, "did she... say anything about me or...?" He trailed off, stomach twisting in knots as Chuck winced loudly.
"There was a few names that I don't know the meaning of" and okay that was bad, "but mostly she was just sad... Really sad" Chuck emphasised, giving Thomas a small sad smile, "but her baby kicked and she let me feel it... It was weird, like someone was punching my hand" and Thomas felt his whole face light up at that, "heh... Uh... I guess it's your baby too" he added, face flushing bright red.
"Yeah I guess so" Thomas muttered back, rocking back on the balls of his feet.
"So... to make a baby the both of you had to... do things with each other?" Chuck asked delicately, eyes wide with innocence and Thomas' eyebrows raised high into his hairline at that awkward question, "like... close stuff with each other involving, Uh-" Chuck raised his hand to scratch the back of his neck, "-um... Certain private parts-?"
"Chuck" Thomas interrupted, the back of his neck breaking out into a sweat, his cheeks burning red as he realised that was what was going through everyone's heads right now and wished he could just melt away into a puddle of embarrassment by this point, "I don't know if I'm the right person to teach you about the birds and the bees"
"You've experienced it" he answered innocently and Thomas groaned - he liked this kid, he was like the cute younger brother but the whole kid innocence was making Thomas extremely nervous and mortified by this point, even if he kind of liked it because despite this Klunk of a situation they were all in Chucks naivety preserved some of his youthful innocence, "your baby in her stomach proves it"
"Womb" Thomas automatically corrected as all he got back in return was a blank look, "the baby grows in a womb, not the stomach"
"Then why is she-" he held his arms out in front of him, miming a big rounded stomach, "and how does it come out? Do we have to cut her open?" He asked, suddenly going chalk white, "Thomas I don't do blood, I don't want to see anyone's blood-"
"Chuck, it's okay" Thomas muttered, placing a hand on the younger boys shoulder, "no one will be cutting anyone open"
"Then how-"
"I'm sure Newt will tell you all about it, seriously I think he'd love to ruin whatever childhood you have left" he smiled warmly at the younger boy, "where about is she?"
"Just over there" he pointed behind him, "next to the big oak tree"
"Thanks Chuck" he clapped his shoulder one last time, "not just for that.. for keeping her company too, you're a good friend"
Chuck grinned widely at that, his rounded face showing dimples, "you too Thomas" he started to bounce away, his short frame clumsily making its way back through the woods, "and Thomas? Please don't make another baby yet, one is enough" and Thomas had to chuckle at that - he was pretty sure having another baby when the first one wasn't even born yet was way down on their list of priorities and necessities right now.
"Promise" he vowed before hiking his way through the mass of trees where Chuck directed him, occasionally letting out a cuss as his clumsy footing slipped on a bank or he tripped on a tree root, his mind drifting to how dangerous even their living arrangements were for a pregnant woman.
Did he just think that? Paternal instincts were definitely showing now.
He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, blowing out a long whoosh of air until that breath got stuck in his throat as his brown eyes fell upon a figure slumped against a tree, arms wrapped around her torso, cradling the bump like she was trying to protect it from all the evils in the world and Thomas' heart swelled.
He knew there was a good chance she would tell him where to stick it, and he knew he wasn't in the position to ask for a second chance, especially since he left her and burdened her with all of this stress to deal with alone, but he wasn't going to walk away either.
Not again.
He slowed to a stop, watching her from the sidelines as her hands caressed the bump, her eyes welling with tears as she sung a quiet melody to the baby, her sweet voice carrying gently through the trees.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...You make me happy when skies are grey..." And Thomas' jaw was slack as he watched her, listened to the love in her voice, "You never know, dear, how much I love you...Please don't take my sunshine away" she got choked up then, a hand wiping away the tears until she finally looked up and met his soft gaze.
Immediately her stare turned defensive and angry, beautiful round hazel eyes brimming with unspoken bitterness and betrayal, her mouth forming a tight line.
"I... I just wanted to talk" he offered up, his voice small and meek as he broke free from the line of trees and slowly made his way over to her, "in private"
"Why?" She demanded, curling back against the tree as he got closer, "I've got nothing to say to you Thomas"
"I've got stuff to say to you" he muttered, pointing to a spot on the ground next to her, "can I sit?"
Her eyes narrowed considerably, "even if I said no you still would so.. Whatever" she bit out and he breathed out a sigh of relief, gently lowering himself down onto the leaf covered ground, keeping a couple of feet distance between them as to not scare her off before he even got a chance to explain.
He raised his knees, placing his arms on them and kept his gaze solely focused in front of him, gnawing on his bottom lip nervously, now having no idea what to say.
"Is it my baby?" He blurted out without thinking, just knowing he had to start somewhere and that seemed as good a place to start as any. He held his breath anxiously as he felt the intensity of her fiery glare on him, her whole form almost shaking with anger.
"Seriously Thomas?" She demanded, sounding even more furious and hurt if that was even possible, "you left me, no, you ran away and that somehow adds up to me cheating on you?" And he shook his head quickly, knowing he had put his foot in his mouth again, "you are unbelievable... Of course it's your baby though right now I would rather anyone be the father of this baby than you" and that stung, a lot, "anything else you want to accuse me of?"
"No, I didn't... I wasn't accusing... I just... I can't remember..." He rambled, looking at her with wide pleading eyes, "I'm trying... I'm trying so shucking hard Caire but nothing is coming through, like all the memories are blocked" he explained gently, "I'm trying"
Her eyes cooled down slightly, her posture slackening as she lessened the offensive stance, "maybe it's better you can't remember"
"I want to remember" he told her adamantly, "I want to remember you, I want to remember what we had... I want-I want to remember-" he gulped as his curious brown eyes fell on her bump, "-I want to remember our baby"
"You didn't five months ago" she said bitterly, her hazel eyes tearing up, "you walked out Thomas... You can't change that"
"I know I can't" he admitted, glancing down in shame, "and I honestly don't know why I would" he told her truthfully, "I don't know why"
"I know why" she interrupted with a fierce tone, "because you're not the person I thought you were... I trusted you inexplicably, I believed you all those times you said you loved me but I was stupid... You just wanted to use me" he shook his head quickly, knowing that wasn't what happened - he didn't exactly remember her but he felt something stirring in his chest every time he looked at her, that was definitely real, "I was the idiot that opened my legs for you and look where it got me - stuck in a maze as a single mom, fantastic" she added sarcastically, "just go away Thomas"
"Tell me about it" he urged desperately, not wanting to let go of her that easily, "about us, about the night when that happened" he nodded his head down to her bump, "it might help"
"Why? What kind of sick pleasure will you get out of it?" She asked, suspicion laced in her voice, "it won't help Thomas"
"Please" he begged, reaching for her but pulled back as she flinched away from him, "please Caire... Please" her eyes softened slightly, giving him a careful once over before sighing loudly.
"The night this happened-" she raised her hand to rest across her stomach, rubbing lightly, "-we were both upset about something, I can't remember what, it's blurry and grainy but... But you promised me everything would be okay, you made me laugh and smile even though all I wanted to do was cry and then... Then we started kissing and couldn't stop... It was like we needed each other more than anything else... It was a bit sore because you were, well, the first person I had been with... Ever... But you took it slow... You were slow and gentle and kept asking if I was okay and I remember you kept whispering in my ear that you loved me, and I remember because it tickled my ear-" he watched as she absentmindedly raised her hand to fiddle with the lobe of her right ear, "-and I kept thinking how weird and amazing it was that you were there... In me, on top of me making me feel all these great things that we just... We just forgot about everything, nothing else mattered Tom... And then this little person happened" she muttered, her voice glazed over as she slipped into those memories, Thomas hanging onto every word she said, "at least that was my interpretation, I'm sure you just thought how great it was to get some action"
"No" he denied with a firm shake of the head, "that's not true... I know it feels like that but I promise you, it was real" he smiled gently, "I don't exactly remember you but I feel things... Right here" his hand raised to rest over his chest, "I don't know quite what that is yet but it makes me feel warm and tingly"
One of her rounded eyebrows cocked up perfectly, giving him a dubious glance, "I can't forgive that easily Thomas... I can't"
"I know" he admitted in a small voice, "i don't expect you to-"
"Then why talk to me?" She asked, confused, "I don't get it Thomas"
"Because I'm hoping that maybe one day you will" he told her honestly, "that our little nugget will come into this messed up world with two parents who aren't fighting... That's all I hope Caire" he told her, brown misty eyes glancing down at her rounded belly, his heart fluctuating at how much emotion he felt for that bump, "do you believe that?"
She glanced down, eyes getting watery and sad, "honestly?" And she looked up again, her swirling eyes pain stricken, "I don't know" and it killed apart of him inside to hear her say that, "I don't know what to feel or believe"
And he understood that - he couldn't just walk out on them and leave Caroline feeling alone and scared and betrayed without consequences but he had to make up for it... He had to... No matter the cost.
Authors note - I'm back... 😄 will be updating regularly now so any and all reviews and thoughts would be greatly appreciated and help a ton, thank you all for reading and I sure hope you all liked you wonderful specimens of humanity x