"In dreams the mind is constantly giving you substitutes just to protect sleep. And the same is happening while you are awake. The mind is giving you substitutes just to protect your sanity; otherwise you will be scattered in fragments."
OSHO, The Book of Secrets
Sue Sylvester stood at the end of the hall and watched unobserved as Alabaster argued with his pathetic excuse for a boyfriend and an Amazon whom she didn't know. She recognized his windbreaker as police-issued, which meant he had come from his mysterious volunteer position with the Office of the District Attorney of Montgomery County.
She had utilized several of her more dubious contacts to ascertain precisely what function Alabaster performed for that officious bitch Liza Capwell, yet no information could be unearthed. That was entirely bizarre and completely unacceptable. She had tried bribery, blackmail, extortion and second-degree battery, all to no avail. Whatever Hummel was doing, there was no paper trail; he reported only to Capwell, who reported to no one just what it was that he did.
His official designation was that of intern, but no one could explain why a high school junior held a position that was normally reserved for law students. There wasn't even an official summary of his job description or duties. No one could explain why he was there, how, or what he did. She supposed the only reason there wasn't an official investigation was that Hummel was not paid for whatever services he rendered.
The detective with whom he worked, Westgate, did not include Hummel's participation in her reports, yet it was apparent that he accompanied her frequently to crime scenes. He was listed as an observer in multiple interrogations, though if he spoke or asked questions, they were not part of the official record. Nevertheless, she'd had the detective investigated. She hadn't learned much more than what existed in the public record. She had used her Special Forces clearance to examine Westgate's Marine jacket, which was indeed impressive, at least by the standards of the weak and incompetent.
In sum, Kurt Hummel was a high school student who lacked the skill and credentials for the position he currently held, one which was usually assigned to a law student or paralegal. He had no real authority, yet worked exclusively with the top homicide detective and the District Attorney. He carried not only a consultant identification card, but a badge issued by the Office of the District Attorney. No one knew what privileges these afforded him, if any, although it must be assumed there were perks, otherwise there would be no purpose in him possessing them. He was viewed by his colleagues as cold, indifferent, and ruthless. They were terrified of him and likened him to arctic grass.
Sue Sylvester approved of this. In fact, she was vaguely impressed. This kid, Kurt Hummel, was far more interesting than Porcelain, the nauseatingly adorable gay moppet who had led the Cheerios to their most recent Nationals victory. Truthfully, while she was frustrated by his silence concerning his job, as well as by her own inability to ferret out information regarding said job, she liked the changes in him. Yes, he was darker and more moody, but he wasn't dressing like a vampire or indulging his teenage angst with illicit substances. Instead, he had examined his personal life and decided to make drastic alterations.
He had ditched that loudmouth busybody wannabe Patti LaBelle and instead allied himself with Santana Lopez. She wasn't all that fond of Lopez, but the girl knew who she was, took crap from no one, and never apologized for her behavior. He saw beneath Pierce's mask of insufferable stupidity to the conniving and calculating girl she truly was, helping her reinforce the façade she donned for the writhing masses of idiocy with whom they interacted. He wasn't as invested in William's merry band of misbegotten misfits as he was before, but instead saw that pitiful excuse of an extracurricular for what it was: a means to an end and nothing else.
These improvements pleased her, but she had given them no deeper thought until he had tried to resign from the Cheerios. She had attempted to force him into capitulating to her demands that he stay, only to have been intrigued when he blackmailed her into accepting his desire for a lessened role. How he had learned the things he had about her she had no idea; those secrets had been buried deep, as had the people who had once known them.
He had shown no hesitation and no remorse for his extortion, and her admiration had begun to bloom, curiosity piqued. Then he had gone one step further and insisted lead vocals be given to Lopez and not Fabray, who had been reinstalled as head Cheerio after he stepped down. On the surface, it had appeared as though he was exacting vengeance for LaBelle choosing the friendship of Fabray over his own, but she had looked beyond the simplistic. He hadn't cared about LaBelle and Fabray's sorority games; he simply wanted to punish Fabray for her backstabbing and her pathetic attempt at daring to usurp his position, both on the squad and at LaBelle's side.
And good for him! That was exactly how inferiors should be treated: as the replaceable drones they were, not as errant children who needed to be scolded.
But that was when she had begun to suspect he was far more than he was letting on, that his position with Capwell was just a cover. How else could he have possessed the temerity to blackmail her, to gather the information required to do so?
She watched as his uneasy eyes scanned the hall, taking in every student, memorizing their faces and their placement, dismissing LaBelle's searing gaze. She watched as he hurriedly removed his badge from around his neck and shoved it into his ludicrous purse.
It was all starting to add up.
Sue Sylvester knew her conspiracy theories and was fairly certain the Gay Mafia or some other mysterious and eternally whiny organization was using her Alabaster to press their heinous and suspicious agenda. This would not stand! She would rescue him, deprogram him, and then reestablish his commitment to the right side. Her side.
He was a plant, she was sure. It was the only logical conclusion.
She just wasn't sure for whom. NSA, FBI, Homeland Security. She knew they recruited young; she had caught a few episodes of Alias, which had been loosely based on the young life of one Sue Sylvester. The names had just been changed to protect the guilty and the satisfied. JJ Abrams, no doubt a relation to Wheels, would pay for co-opting her life and using it as a vehicle for that hack, Jennifer Garner. Her team of lawyers was already working on it.
Hummel was already fluent in three languages, proficient in two others, and could read and write two dead languages. He was in advanced classes and took college courses in the summer and during the winter interim. His membership in the Cheerios and that infernal choir ensured that he was able to travel to multiple locations nationwide under the guise of performing.
Oh, yes, she had compiled a dossier on Kurt Hummel. Granted, it barely scratched the surface of his flaming insouciance, but she would determine his secrets, his mettle. She wouldn't interfere with his mission, the boy was merely serving his country after all, performing his civic duty, and following in her glorious footsteps. But she would have answers.
Which was why she had outfitted with surveillance equipment, both visual and audio, in every room in this horrible internment camp which had the audacity to pass itself off as an institution of learning. The only problem was that said equipment experienced electromagnetic surges whenever Hummel was in close proximity. She hadn't yet figured out why – perhaps an implant of some kind, or a device which created a nullifying field – but she would.
Hummel was proving to be a challenge, and Sue Sylvester never ignored a challenge.
She watched as Hummel arrogantly belittled his occupational and romantic partners before storming into that depraved and amoral principal's office. She watched as the detective sneered at the boyfriend, finally reducing him to the pale and quivering mess she had always suspected him of being, before following Hummel into said den of iniquity. She watched as that asinine excuse for a haircut meandered down the hallway, face mottled and gait angry.
So perhaps the detective wasn't quite the milquetoast she had believed the wretch to be. At least she was a good judge of character as far as delinquent miscreants were concerned. Besides, Hummel could do so much better. That he wasn't actively pursuing Better was a blow to her ego and she took it as a personal attack.
But that could be dealt with at a later time.
She barked vicious threats at the crowd of hooligans surrounding her, shoving some aside as their parents should have shoved them into baskets which were then placed before orphanages, and stormed toward her office.
She was very interested in the conversation Hummel and his partner were about to have with that Indian witchdoctor.
Kurt ignored Justine as she tried to make small talk, preferring instead to smile politely at Agnes, the school secretary, who had always been fond of him. He waited patiently as she wrote out his pass and he mentally reviewed his schedule, thankful that he would be missing neither of that day's exams.
"Mr. Hummel!" Figgins loudly called. "My office, posthaste!"
Kurt sighed with resignation and rolled his eyes.
"Don't let that fool antagonize you," Agnes whispered, pressing the pass into his hands.
He smiled wanly and thanked her. Justine looked at the woman with consideration, deciding she liked her.
Kurt trudged toward the principal's office, Justine hot on heels and not about to let that idiot man interrogate Hummel, not after this morning's events. It was time to put him in his place once and for all.
"Good morning, Principal Figgins," Kurt said halfheartedly.
Figgins sat behind his desk and tented his fingers. "Mr. Hummel, your tardiness is becoming an issue. If you are unable to arrive at this school at the designated time, perhaps you should consider making alternative educational arrangements."
"I don't think so," Justine snapped, stepping from behind Kurt and strolling into the office as if she owned it. She looked around and found it, and its occupant, lacking. "Listen up, Figgins, because I'm going to make this so clear that even you can't misunderstand it."
"Excuse me, miss?"
"That's Detective, you glorified warden. Detective Justine Westgate, Dayton Homicide."
He raised a brow. "Forgive me, Detective," he nodded. "However, unless I am mistaken, you are not within your jurisdiction and have no business here."
"Incorrect," she barked. "Hummel is employed by the Office of the District Attorney for Montgomery County. His tardiness is a direct result of the assistance he provided this morning to a breaking case."
"Are you joking?"
She planted her hands on his desk and bent down, staring into his eyes. "Do you find double homicide to be a joking matter, Figgins?" she hissed dangerously.
"Certainly not!" he sputtered. "But I fail to see the relevance of Mr. Hummel's participation."
"That is not for you to decide. Unless I am mistaken, Hummel is in the top five of his class. His duties to the District Attorney have not in any way compromised his education, nor has it resulted in any absences. A few instances of tardiness are irrelevant. He does his work and then some, and he also participates in several extracurricular activities. He's a model student and you know it."
He waved his hand dismissively. "Nevertheless, I cannot make exceptions for one student. It is unfair to those who are able to arrive and begin their scholastic endeavors at the designated time."
She paused. "You're treading on dangerous ground, Figgins. I know about what happens in this school, how students – minors – are treated, how the faculty ignores it. You're right in that I have no jurisdiction in Allen County, but I have friends that do, colleagues on the Allen County force, as well as the State Police. I think they would be very interested in what you allow to pass as socialization in this school. In fact, I think it bears further investigation. Once I leave this office, you can be sure I'll be making some calls."
Kurt was content to let Justine play out her Bad Cop routine, deciding it was nice and rather refreshing to have someone other than his father fight for him, especially in this school.
Figgins began sweating. He knew it and silently cursed himself.
Justine smirked. This man was so weak it was offensive.
"As long as Mr. Hummel can guarantee that from now on he will be on time…"
"Insufficient," she barked. "He is a valued employee of a government law enforcement agency. His tardiness affects no one but him, and as he is breezing through your curriculum with ridiculous ease, you and your school are inconsequential. If you in any way attempt to intimidate or suborn him, I will have you brought up on charges so fast it will make your head spin. Do not try my patience, Figgins, or you will find very quickly that I have none."
He nodded uneasily.
"Excellent," she said smoothly. "Now, in two days time, Hummel's presence is required in the Court of Montgomery County. He's been called as a material witness and will be testifying." She reached into her blazer pocket and removed a sheaf of papers. "A copy of his summons for your records. This will be an excused absence and he will make up any necessary work. Understood?"
Figgins shot to his feet. "Absolutely not!" he thundered. "This child cannot come and go as he pleases! I don't care for whom he works or under what circumstances. This is an institution of learning, and these instances are becoming a gross disruption for both the students and the faculty!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, disbelieving that this man was in any way to be taken seriously as an authoritarian.
Justine shrugged. "As you wish. Then I'll have no choice but to arrest you on charges on witness tampering and obstruction of justice."
"You can't be serious!"
"I'm completely serious," she said blandly. "You're lucky Hummel agrees to attend this school at all and you know it. I think it would be worth investigating just how much he is responsible for raising the test scores of his class. Between his own abilities and those whom he tutors, I'm guessing it's significant. Of course, should you deem such a disruption intolerable, you can personally explain to Sue Sylvester, William Schuester, the glee club, and the Cheerios why one of their stars – one who leads them to local and national competitive victories – is being forced to transfer to Carmel."
"Carmel?" Kurt interrupted.
She nodded and smirked. "The principal of Carmel went to school with Capwell. She made some inquiries on your behalf. Carmel would welcome you with open arms and guarantee you captaincy of their cheerleading squad and at least two solos as one of the leaders of Vocal Adrenaline. Your position with Capwell would be accepted with no qualms and, as long as you maintained your GPA, there would be no issue with the occasional absence or tardiness."
His eyes widened. A heady offer indeed. Granted, Carmel's cheerleading squad was pathetic, but solos in Vocal Adrenaline? He would have to leave his friends and Noah, but the curriculum of Carmel was much more advanced and would offer many more opportunities for his senior year. It was also rated higher than McKinley and would look better on college applications.
He had never before considered leaving McKinley and now he wasn't sure why. Invariably, it would solve many of his problems.
"How long have you and Liza been plotting this?" he asked, suspicion lacing his voice and his eyes narrowed.
She gave him an innocent look at which he immediately scoffed.
Figgins was alternately staring at each of them, conscious of the validity of the policewoman's threats, as well as how Hummel's departure could adversely affect his school, especially if Hummel was thrown into direct competition with his former classmates, as he most certainly would be at Carmel. He knew he needed to begin backpedaling immediately. He had been rash and arrogant, targeting Hummel for no reason – well, no good reason. He knew he would have to make concessions and would do so gladly.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he was oblivious as Justine crossed to his side of the desk, pulled the phone toward her, and dialed a number, placing it on speakerphone.
"Office of the District Attorney."
"Westgate for Capwell regarding Hummel."
"Of course. One moment, please."
Justine parked a hip against Figgins' desk and hummed a merry tune, patiently waiting. Figgins looked to Kurt to interfere, but the boy was too busy considering Carmel and the wealth of opportunities it would afford him. The more he thought about it, the more he warmed to the idea.
Granted, the commute would be annoying, but his father would support him and likely be happy to see him out of McKinley. He would miss the Glee Club – well, he would miss certain members, not the internal politics and Schuester's assertion that only Rachel and Finn bore consideration – but the chance to be a featured vocalist for Vocal Adrenaline was certainly more enticing than standing in the back of New Directions and all but waving a rose with the other choral members.
The only sticking point was that he would have to leave Noah.
Of course, Noah was so busy carrying on an affair with Quinn, he doubted if his boyfriend would notice his absence.
He sighed at the reminder of the infidelity. He didn't know what to do about it, or even if he wanted to do anything. He hated being a doormat, being lied to and used; most of all, he hated that, despite everything, he still loved Noah. And if he were to confront him, how would he explain his knowledge of the affair?
Being a psychic sometimes really sucked.
Still, his friends – his real ones – Santana, Brittany, Sam, Artie, and Tina – would be happy for him, even if he was placed in direct competition with them.
"What is it, Westgate? Is Hummel okay?"
"I'm fine, Liza," Kurt said softly, disregarding Justine's moue of distaste at his use of Capwell's first name.
Capwell released an irritated, though relieved, sigh. "What's the problem?"
Justine crossed her fingers and hoped Capwell would follow her lead and play ball. It was a risk, she knew, antagonizing Figgins the way she had, but if this school was half as miserable as she believed, it would be worth it to get Kurt out of it.
"Principal Figgins has some reservations about excusing Hummel for this morning's tardiness, as well as releasing him for this week's trial."
Liza said nothing at first, but the silence screamed with cool reproof. "I assume you explained that Hummel's presence at the trial is required by law, as he is a material witness, and that if the esteemed principal does anything to interfere, he will be arrested and arraigned before the day is complete?"
"Naturally."
"Did you happen to mention the media coverage that I will arrange for said arrest and arraignment?"
"I thought that would be better coming from you," Justine tinkled. "I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries, after all."
Liza and Kurt both snorted. Justine scowled. Figgins felt faint.
"You live to overstep boundaries, Westgate," Liza said, her voice bemused.
Justine rolled her eyes.
"Figgins!" Capwell bellowed. "If you in any way interfere with an official investigation overseen by my office, I will see you in jail before the day is out. If you in any way attempt to interfere with Mr. Hummel's position in my office, I will bring the full power of my position as District Attorney down on your head. If you in any way attempt retribution against Mr. Hummel, not only will I file criminal charges, I will recommend to him an excellent attorney who will pursue a civil suit on the grounds of persecution and harassment. Is anything I just said in any way unclear to you?"
Figgins shook his head.
"A verbal answer would be helpful, Figgins," Justine snapped.
"No," Figgins said in a shaky voice. 'My apologies. I was unaware that Mr. Hummel's participation with your office was in an official capacity."
Capwell grunted and slammed down her receiver, severing the connection.
Figgins cleared his throat uneasily. "I believe you should get to class, Mr. Hummel. Detective, if there is nothing further, I have some reports to compile."
Kurt stood, looked at Justine, shrugged, and left the office. He felt no need to thank her, for she had involved herself; he hadn't asked. She would call him later, he was sure, to update him about the pending autopsies and the initial lab findings. Besides, he was still shaken from the morning's dream and then the scene at the Anderson house.
He left the administrative office, leaned against the outside wall, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath and released it, willing the bloody images to flee his mind. He had no idea about that note or what it meant, but he doubted it was anything good. Another deep breath and he forced himself to prepare mentally for his physics exam next period. For some indiscernible reason, his abilities were useless when it came to exams.
Stupid cosmic sense of fair play.
As lunch rolled around, Kurt sought refuge in the library. He knew after the scene this morning in the hall, Mercedes would be anxious to interrogate him. When had his life turned into a game of Clue? Further, what right did Mercedes have to ask him anything?
He shook his head. He wasn't going down that road again, though he was somewhat chagrined to discover that she still intimidated him. He didn't know why he had ever allowed it, but there was no point in dwelling on it now. Besides, he was sure that Santana would make his excuses, and she herself was far too intimidating for anyone to dare question her.
He still didn't know what had compelled him to tell her about the dreams. Perhaps he had done so out of loneliness, tired of feeling so isolated, not only from his peers, but from everyone. Though his father did the best he could to help, his fear of what his son could do, of the things he saw, overshadowed the concern. Kurt spent most of his time reassuring his father rather than being reassured himself.
Santana Lopez wasn't what anyone would call a comforting shoulder, but for some unfathomable reason, he had confided in her. Her response still surprised him. She had asked a few basic questions, but for the most part was content to leave him be. He had appreciated that. He just hadn't understod why she had been so accepting. Later she explained that while she didn't subscribe to the dogma, her family was deeply Catholic. Superstition and faith in all things possible were deeply ingrained into her genetic sequence.
Her friendship was one of the few bright spots in his life. It was more equitable and dependable than any he had ever experienced. It was mature. She didn't make demands on his time, but was always there when he needed her, something which he hoped he'd managed to reciprocate. He had listened to her surprising babble about her relationship with Brittany and helped her reach some conclusions, which had led to them being stronger than ever. He was so happy for them. They appeared to be the real thing, a love so true and solid, songs would be written about it.
He and Santana enjoyed an easy relationship, much to the shock and consternation of the majority of their friends. However, the fact that she had his father wrapped around her finger and that he simply adored her, in spite of, or perhaps because of her abrasive personality, lent Kurt credence that he had chosen wisely a new best friend.
He had also come to appreciate how protective she was of him. It wasn't the same kind of protectiveness that she had for Brittany; she didn't feel the need to defend him, but she was always just behind him, supporting him and making her presence known to any who might give him grief. Karofsky and his minions had all but abandoned their crusade against him, and he was sure that was due in no small part to Santana.
Sometimes her protectiveness was annoying, but never stifling. The one bone of contention between them was his relationship with Noah. It wasn't that Santana was jealous, because she had only ever used Noah for sex; there were no real feelings involved. She wasn't one of the many to insist that Noah wasn't gay or was just using Kurt for sex. In fact, she was one of the few who knew he and Noah had done nothing more than kiss. He had always known that Noah wasn't gay; that he was, at most, bisexual. He was fairly certain that he was most likely the only boy in whom Noah had ever been interested. He took no joy in that fact, but neither did it undermine their relationship. He figured Noah just liked whom he liked and didn't really care about any stigma associated with it.
No, Santana's problem was that she didn't believe Noah was good enough for him, and given that she had been sleeping with Noah off and on for almost two years, she argued, she would be the one to know. They quarreled over it often. Once, his father had overheard them and was so relieved that he wasn't the only one to think Noah a poor boyfriend, he had all but named Santana Lopez his Lord and personal Savior. Santana had been entirely too smug about the whole thing.
For the most part, Kurt was content to ignore the misgivings of Santana and his father. The problem was exacerbated, however, when Brittany came down resolutely on their side, declaring her disdain for Puck in a startlingly clear monologue devoid of her trademark vagueness.
It was, for some reason, much more difficult to lay her warnings aside, especially because she had stated her belief that Noah was, and always would be, in love with Quinn. It was something he had long suspected but wanted to deny. While Brittany didn't believe he was a replacement for Quinn, and that Noah sincerely cared about him, if Quinn ever decided she wanted him back, he would go.
He had kind of hated Brittany for that, even though he loved and admired that she had the guts to say to his face what so many had said behind his back. Noah did care about him, he knew. Noah just didn't love him. Kurt was mostly okay with that. He'd never thought he'd even have a boyfriend in high school, let alone one as handsome as Noah Puckerman.
And Noah had been very good to him. Noah just wasn't good for him.
Kurt shrugged off that thought.
It was curious to be friends with people to whom you did not feel indebted, who did not make you feel that their friendship was conditional. Not that Tina or Artie had ever made him feel that way, but he had always been so afraid to disagree with them or anger them in any way, lest they decide they were better off without him. When he had realized that, he had also realized that he had not been a very good friend to them, hadn't trusted that their friendship was real. He had mostly corrected that, and it had never been an issue between he and Santana, or with Brittany. Although it was fairly impossible to have issues with Brittany. She was perhaps the most genuine person he had ever known and he simply loved that about her.
He wiped the grin off his face and glanced through his notes for his French presentation that afternoon. The physics exam had gone as well as could be expected, considering he hadn't really studied for it. However, it was one of the subjects on which he had a fundamental grasp, so much study wasn't required. He had winged it and, while it certainly wouldn't be his best result, he was sure that he had scored a low A.
He startled when his phone chimed, indicating an incoming text message from Santana. Frowning, he withdrew his phone from his messenger bag and looked at it.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum are fighting over you in the caf. This is looking pretty bad, fairy, but it's all kinds of entertaining for me.
His initial reaction was to roll his eyes, but then the meat of her message sunk in. He abruptly stood, threw all of his paraphernalia into his bag, and ran out of the library.
Kurt seethed as he stormed through the hallways, the underclassmen all but diving out of his way.
Stupid Puck.
He noticed he always reverted to the nickname whenever he was angry at Noah.
Dumb Finn.
Kurt didn't need a big brother to ride to his rescue. Where was all of Finn's concern for him when Karofsky had been stalking him for months? Never had he hated his abilities so much as when he had peeked into Karofsky's head and borne witness to the vile things the big sweaty oaf wanted to do to him.
He shuddered with revulsion.
He didn't understand why Finn was so possessive of him, especially given all that unpleasantness last year, but after Finn had offered a halfhearted apology for that scene in the basement, after their parents had grown even closer, Finn had decided that he needed to protect him from everything which didn't matter. Finn was always interfering when it wasn't required, and nothing he did in Kurt's defense amounted to anything of any real import. It was as though Finn were just going through the motions to prove to himself that he was not a bad person.
Kurt didn't think Finn was a bad person, only that Finn relied too much on what other people thought of him. Kurt could understand that, as he too had fallen prey to that trap more than once, but he had no interest in being Finn Hudson's community service project. For the most part, he had been content to ignore Finn's attempts at help, but after he had begun dating Noah, Finn had become nearly apoplectic with rage.
Egged on by an overly concerned Rachel, Finn took every opportunity to disparage Noah in Kurt's eyes. Even though he knew he was being poorly manipulated, Kurt was unable to stop himself from reacting, defending Noah at every turn, and thus widening the emotional distance between himself and Finn. He knew that Finn's worry was rooted in very real fear of what Noah could do, but he deplored that Finn thought him so weak and naïve. He knew what Noah was and what he wasn't, and as their relationship went on, he had come to understand that Noah wasn't intentionally lying to him; Kurt was just a casualty in Noah's web of lies which insisted he wasn't still in love with Quinn.
Beth had changed him more than Noah was ever willing to admit, and while he had initially wanted to be with Quinn to offer a somewhat stable life for their daughter, the further Quinn's pregnancy advanced, the more deeply Noah had fallen in love with her. She had ultimately rejected him, not because she didn't love him, but because she was unable to deal with her feelings regarding Beth, so she sought to deny everything that had led to the conception. Noah had eventually accepted her claims that she wasn't interested in him and had attempted to move on.
He still wasn't sure why Noah had moved on to him. It wasn't as though they had ever been friends; they had barely been able to tolerate each other, and only because Schuester had mandated it. So when Noah had begun pursuing him over the summer, Kurt had been instantly suspicious. But Noah had worn him down with sincere apologies for his past behavior. Even if he wasn't psychic, Kurt would have sensed the true regret Noah felt for his past treatment of him.
Still, it had been one thing to forgive Noah; it was something altogether different to accept that Noah had feelings for him. Nevertheless, he believed those feelings to be real. It was just that, at the time, neither one of them had been able to qualify said feelings. So they sought to explore them together.
Each had agreed to take things slow. Kurt wasn't ready for sex and Noah had finally accepted that sex led to consequences he wasn't mature enough to understand or face. That left them with a lot of time to talk to one another, to get to know each other, and both had slowly come to understand that they truly liked one another. They were actual friends. And Kurt had begun to fall for Noah in turn.
Noah had never pressured him for sex and it had set alarms off within Kurt. He had castigated himself for ignoring the growth Noah had experienced, for judging him on his past behavior, but at the same time, he knew Noah was used to sex on a regular basis. He had started to believe that Noah was unconsciously using him in an attempt to be someone he wasn't; to ensure, even if only to himself, that he had changed. But there had been no denying Noah's excitement when they made out. If nothing else, that proved to Kurt that Noah did want him.
Then he began to worry that while Noah wanted him, he didn't necessarily want him, that perhaps Noah was more interested in the act than in the person with whom he shared it. But as time went on, Noah had proven what a good boyfriend he could be if given the chance. He was patient, kind, and gentle. He had learned Kurt's birthday, his father's birthday, his parents' anniversary, and the anniversary of his mother's death. He learned what foods Kurt liked and those he abhorred. He watched whatever Kurt wanted and opened his mind to the types of music Kurt liked. He hadn't done those things to placate Kurt, but because he was honestly interested. In turn, Kurt had learned to appreciate some of Noah's tastes.
The only quibble they had was Kurt's job, why and to where he disappeared on a regular basis, why Kurt couldn't talk about the things he did, and why Kurt seemed to know more than he should about certain things. He had tried to assure Noah that he wasn't deliberately excluding him, but that there were things he simply wasn't able to discuss freely. Noah had tried to understand, but ultimately his resentment for the job which took so much of Kurt's time away from him had festered. Yet they had managed to lay it aside and ignore it, otherwise content with their relationship.
When school was set to resume, Kurt had been prepared to call an end to whatever it was they had, knowing the abuse Noah would suffer. But Noah hadn't wanted to keep him a secret and was more than proud to strut down the hallway with Kurt on his arm, so he knew Noah had genuine feelings for him. There was care and concern and perhaps even some kind of platonic love. They both had known that they probably wouldn't last, but were positive that they would at least come out of their relationship as very close friends.
That had all changed when Finn, whom Kurt had avoided most of the summer, had discovered they were together. The explosion was profound. Finn had screamed alternately at him and at Noah, trying to undermine them and their belief in each other at every opportunity. He had taken to stalking them on their dates. He had used their parents' relationship to worm his way into the Hummel house as often as possible, particularly on those days when Noah would be coming to pick Kurt up for a date. And then Finn had gotten Rachel in on the act, convincing her that evil Noah was out to seduce and ruin poor, pathetic Kurt.
Rachel, who never met a mission she didn't like, embraced Finn's fanaticism wholeheartedly, often lecturing Kurt prior to glee club rehearsals and leaving stockpiles of helpful pamphlets purloined from Miss Pillsbury in his locker. Kurt had been fine with letting Santana and Tina run interference for him with Rachel, while Brittany and Artie tackled Finn. Mercedes, having grown even closer to Quinn over the summer, now saw Kurt as the person who had taken Noah from her friend, even though it had been Quinn who had dumped Noah. Mercedes believed that if not for Kurt, Noah and Quinn would reunite and enjoy some storybook romance for the ages. Though she had never come out publicly and said so, Kurt knew Mercedes well enough to know her feelings on the matter. In fact, Noah had been the one topic they avoided when they decided they were better off not being friends.
Noah had fretted that Kurt would fall for Finn's antics, but Kurt had reassured him that had never been a possibility. Noah had insisted that Finn was jealous and wanted Kurt for himself, which Kurt had found laughable until Santana, in rare agreement with Noah, concurred, arguing that while Finn may not have wanted him for himself, he also didn't want anyone else to have him. She believed that Finn missed the attention Kurt used to pay him and wanted it back. Kurt had vowed that would never happen, stating that the Finn for whom he had fallen had never existed, but had been merely a figment of his own imagination. He had projected onto Finn all of the qualities he wanted in a boyfriend, blinding himself to the person Finn truly was.
Things had settled down after a couple of weeks, although Finn and Rachel didn't abandon their machinations. Regardless, he and Noah were even stronger than they had been.
Until Sam.
When he met Sam, Kurt had felt an instant connection, one which was reciprocated. It was like coming home for Kurt, an utterly alien feeling. All he knew was that he felt more himself with Sam than he had with any other boy, with any other person, like he was completely understood and accepted for who and what he was, and there was no need to limit himself or alter his behavior to make someone else feel comfortable. In fact, Kurt had felt Sam was the one person other than Santana in whom he could have confided his secret. He hadn't, so as not to place any burden on Sam, but in his heart he knew it was significant that he could have trusted Sam with something so momentous and not Noah.
The problem, if it could be called such, was that everything with Sam was so easy. He knew there was nothing he could not tell Sam. He enjoyed being as free as Sam allowed him to be. Sam welcomed casual affection and was always quick with a hug or a shoulder bump. Noah welcomed it too, but he also always looked around, daring anyone to say anything, as if willingly showing Kurt affection proved something to all of their naysayers.
He and Sam had little in common, but what they did share only further cemented their connection. The more they talked, the more they discovered they held the same views on many important subjects. The more time they spent together, the deeper their friendship became. They never got enough of each other, never became tired of the other, never needed to pull back in order to reclaim personal space.
But it wasn't sexual. Kurt had no problem admitting to himself and to others that he thought Sam was beautiful, and Sam often said the same, but there was no attraction between them.
Noah refused to accept that, insisting that Sam was trying to steal Kurt away. Kurt had countered that such an act simply wasn't possible; he would have to go willingly, and had no interest in doing so. The more time he spent with Sam, the angrier Noah became. That anger gave way to possessiveness, though it wasn't as cloying as what Kurt was experiencing with Finn.
And Finn was another problem. He seized upon Kurt's friendship with Sam and offered it up as some kind of proof that Noah was all wrong for him. The more he pushed Sam at Kurt, the angrier Kurt, Sam, and Noah all became. Sam had initially joined New Directions at Finn's behest, but after his friendship with Kurt had taken off and he had seen how ridiculous Finn was about Kurt, Sam backed off. He thought Finn was bonkers and that Rachel was enabling him.
Santana had latched on to Sam almost immediately, as though she were drafting him in a war, and filled him in on all of the backstory of the previous year. As nonjudgmental as Sam was, he found himself quickly disliking Finn, Mercedes, Quinn, and Rachel, which left him firmly in the camp of Kurt, Santana, Artie, Tina, and Brittany. He hadn't meant to draw a line in the sand, and he didn't give much credence to gossip, but after witnessing firsthand Finn and Rachel's wheelbarrow full of crazy, he didn't want to associate them any more than what was absolutely required. He was also very friendly with Mike, who generally removed himself from the drama of glee club.
Sam had almost no contact with Puck and desperately endeavored not to come between he and Kurt. That Sam offered no opinion on Noah worried Kurt. That Sam refused to take Noah's bait angered Noah all the more. It was as though Noah was desperately trying to insert Sam between himself and Kurt, and was, for some reason, furious that it wasn't working. It utterly baffled Sam, and Kurt was similarly confused.
That was when Kurt did something he knew he should have never done, something he had vowed never to do to his friends. The shame of it still lingered.
He had looked into Noah's head.
Mindreading was hit-or-miss with him. He couldn't do it on command, and most of the information he did glean was received when he wasn't trying; often, that information was useless. He supposed it was a passive ability. He didn't know how to cultivate it and he was certain he didn't want to learn. It was a gross invasion of privacy; he could only imagine how we would feel were someone to do that to him.
Also, it was more trouble than it was worth. When he attempted it purposefully, it required almost total concentration and left him feeling drained. There were also some people who were, for whatever reason, immune. He didn't know if that was because of some innate talent those people had, or if he just sucked at trying to read them. From what he had been able to deduce, some people just had better control over their thoughts than others. Said people also had a tight rein on their emotions, and it seemed to provide a natural defense to his invasive ability. He couldn't read Santana or Mike, but Rachel and Schue broadcasted fairly loudly. He often picked up from them things he would rather not know.
That wasn't always the case; there were some people, like Finn, who were so overly emotional that they should have broadcasted almost belligerently, but he couldn't read Finn either. Brittany's mind was so chaotic that the stray thoughts he picked up left him with migraines. He had never tried to read Sam or Mercedes because he knew them well enough to know what they were thinking without a supernatural assist.
And then there were those people who believed they had total control over themselves that Kurt was surprised he could get anything from them at all; people like Sylvester, Karofsky, and Noah. But he could read them, which was why he knew when it was most important to avoid Karofsky completely. It was how he had learned enough about Sue to blackmail her into letting him step down as Head Cheerio. And it was how he had discovered that Noah was sleeping with Quinn.
He only had been surprised that he wasn't more surprised. It had also been startling how little he felt about the whole thing. He didn't feel angry or betrayed; he just felt sad. He didn't know why he hadn't broken up with Noah, except that perhaps both of them needed to believe the lie that they were enough for each other. He loved Noah and knew Noah loved him; it was just that neither of them could admit they weren't in love with each other. He knew they both wanted to be, it just hadn't happened.
Kurt threw himself through the cafeteria doors and realized in that moment that they wouldn't be able to ignore the truth for much longer.
He sighed and shook his head as he saw Finn and Noah pushing at each other. Well, it was more accurate to say that Finn was accosting Noah, who was simply defending himself. It wouldn't be long before they came to blows.
Rachel was, of course, at Finn's side, loudly castigating Finn for his penchant for physical violence, all the while encouraging him to defend Kurt's honor. Puck stood alone, screaming at both of them that he loved Kurt and wasn't about to let their idiocy affect his relationship. Mercedes sat at the table, consoling a tearful Quinn, while Mike, Artie, and Tina watched all of them with wide eyes.
Santana, Sam, and Brittany stood together, just off to the side of Finn, Rachel, and Noah, ready to interfere if things got too far out of hand. Kurt didn't know what the hell they were waiting for, but he supposed he should be grateful they were bothering at all. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sue and Schue making their way into the fray and knew he needed to cut them off at the pass. He had to stop this before it got any worse.
And then it did.
"You've made Kurt into your whore!" Finn bellowed.
Noah was so surprised that he dropped his arms at his sides and stared stupidly at Finn, who was breathing heavily though his mouth as his face turned purple. Rachel had gasped sharply at Finn's tirade and began babbling about his choice of vocabulary. Tina had stood and Artie wheeled himself away from the table, looking at though he were pondering how hard he'd have to roll into Finn to knock him down and into the next table. Sam's fists curled reflexively as he took a step forward.
But of course it was Santana who lost her nut. She yanked off her earrings and shoved them into Brittany's hand.
"Hold my shit," she growled.
Kurt's eyes widened and he put on a burst of speed, all but flying across the room. He wasn't scared for Santana, but for Finn and Noah. Also, Santana being suspended wasn't good for him.
He managed to wedge himself between Finn and Noah, pushing them apart, his back to Noah and slightly turned to ward off Santana.
"That's enough," he viciously spat.
"Did you hear what he said?" Noah demanded.
"I heard," Kurt said in a low voice. He wasn't about to discuss his sexual habits, or lack thereof, in an open forum. "And he will apologize."
"Why are you mad at me?" Finn howled. "Why don't you get that I'm trying to protect you, Kurt? He'll ruin you, just like he ruined Quinn."
The girl in question released an indignant squawk, which went ignored, except by Mercedes, who cooed at her.
"You deserve so much better!" Finn expounded, in what Kurt assumed was a bid for passionate entreaty.
Noah snorted. "Like who, Hudson? You?"
Finn spluttered. "That's not what I meant at all!"
Noah scowled. "Bullshit. You can't stand that he's gotten over you. Ever since he has, you've become obsessed with him. Why do you give a shit who he dates?"
"You don't date anyone, Puck," Finn retorted, glowering. "You just fuck them and leave them."
"You son of a bitch," Noah snarled.
"Leave my mom out of this! She was good to you. How many meals did she feed you? How many times did you sleep at my house? How often did my mom take care of you because yours was too drunk to do it?"
"You piece of shit!"
"Stop it, both of you!" Kurt screamed.
"Finn! Desist this deplorable behavior immediately!" Rachel scolded.
"Listen to your woman, Hudson," Noah laughed. "She's the only one on your side."
"You don't even know what you're talking about!" Finn roared.
Noah laughed harder. "No? Look around, Hudson. Other than the Mouth, you're completely alone. Quinn didn't want you; she wanted me. Kurt doesn't want you; he wants me. Lopez, Evans, and Brittany are on our side."
"I'm on Kurt's side," Sam said evenly.
"Ditto," Santana said, nodding.
Noah shrugged. "Kurt's side is my side."
"No," Brittany said quietly, "not at all."
Noah gave her a puzzled look, which caused him to miss Finn's flying fist.
"Don't you dare!" Kurt screeched, shoving Noah out of the way and thus forcing himself to take the full brunt of the impact.
As Kurt was sent sprawling to the floor, the entire cafeteria gasped. Mercedes and Quinn both stood, Mercedes screaming incoherently at Finn. Sam immediately dropped to his knees and made his way to Kurt's side, placing the other boy's head in his lap, glaring up at Finn. Artie, Tina, and Mike were soon with them.
Rachel gazed down at Kurt, her eyes filled with tears as a shaky hand covered her mouth. She quickly scooted away from Finn.
Noah stared dazedly at Kurt, seemingly unable to make the connection between Finn's fist and Kurt being on the floor. When his synapses fired, he scrambled to his feet and rushed Finn, an unholy bellow erupting from his mouth. He was beaten to the punch by Santana, who had taken a flying leap and attached herself to Finn's back, screaming a litany of Spanish curse words into his ear as the nails of one hand raked down his face and the nails of the other dug into his neck.
Soon she was surrounded by all of the Cheerios who were, unsurprisingly, cheering her on. Karofsky loomed on the periphery, looking ready to pummel Finn.
Sylvester and Schuester fought their way through the crowd, the former bodily lifting Santana off of Finn. Kurt looked up to see Miss Pillsbury kneeling before him, trying to whisper soothing words which were lost in the melee.
Puck and Santana were still screaming at Finn, Schuester was screaming at all of them, Quinn and Mercedes were crying, Artie and Tina were whispering to themselves, and Mike was glaring hatefully at both Puck and Finn.
Kurt pulled himself into a sitting position and looked up at Finn, the others falling silent.
"You hit me," he whispered, voice filled with disbelief.
"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Finn blubbered. "I didn't mean it! I would never, ever hurt you."
"All of you've done is hurt him," said an angry Brittany. Though she was whispering, her voice carried across the room. "Everything bad you've said about Puck, you've done too. You wrote mean messages on Kurt's locker. You helped throw him in the dumpster all those times. You helped nail the pretty patio furniture to his roof. You threw pee balloons at him."
She shook her head. "I don't understand why you deserve to be forgiven for all those things but Puck doesn't. You're no better than him. You're not any better than the rest of us, but you think you are. Does Uncle Burt even know all the things you've done to Kurt?"
Finn hung his head.
"You're a horrible person," she concluded, before turning to leave.
"Now he's upset Brittany!" Santana yelled. "He must be destroyed!"
"Lopez, calm down!" Sue snapped.
"Not until I taste his blood!"
Finn cowered.
"At least Puck never called Kurt a fag," Sam spat, staring hatefully at Finn and wanting to deflect as much attention from Santana as he could, before she bit off more than she could chew.
Santana smirked, glad that the secret was out and she hadn't needed to lift a finger.
Brittany and Quinn gasped.
"What?" Rachel whispered, voice filled with betrayal.
Puck stared at Sam, then at Finn, and finally at Kurt, who looked so ashamed it broke his heart. He whirled to face Finn. "You bastard!"
Mercedes was dumbly shaking her head. She hadn't known, but she should've. She had seen the signs that something was deeply wrong between Kurt and Finn, but Kurt had never told her. And after the way she had treated him, she understood well why he had not.
"Finn?" Schuester prompted.
Finn said nothing, just stared at the floor.
Rachel shot a sorrowful look at Kurt, obviously wanting to go to his aid but knowing she wouldn't be welcomed, for which she couldn't blame him, before looking at Finn once more and abruptly fleeing the room.
"Rach," Finn halfheartedly protested.
"I can't keep Figgins out of this," Sue whispered to Santana, who shrugged.
"Don't care."
"Alabaster?" she prompted, silently cursing Hudson for possibly driving her little homo further into the arms of Carmel. She had tried to get to him several times throughout the day, but was always thwarted, almost as if he was trying to avoid her. The nerve!
"My father will not be informed of this," Kurt ordered.
Sue swiftly nodded, but Schuester chose that moment to stick his greasy mop into the mix.
"Kurt, I really think…"
"I didn't ask."
Sue suppressed the snort, but couldn't keep the triumphant grin from her face.
Kurt got to his feet with the help of Sam.
"Kurt?" Finn hesitantly began. "I'm really, really sorry."
Kurt heaved a sigh. "I know, Finn," he said dully. "You always are."
Those words hit Finn harder than the combined tirades of Puck, Santana, Schue, and Brittany, and he fell silent.
"Babe?" Puck whispered.
"Not now, Puck."
Puck flinched at the nickname, knowing he was in deep shit. Once again, he had fallen into Finn's trap. How many times had Kurt told him not to engage Finn, just to walk away before it could even begin? But no, he had reacted rather than think, and Kurt had paid the price. He would never forgive himself. It was bad enough he had been cheating on his Duchess, but to have Kurt physically harmed because he couldn't keep his stupid mouth shut? There was no excuse.
"Would you please help me clean up?" Kurt quietly asked Sam.
"Of course," Sam whispered, wrapping his arm around Kurt's shoulder and leading him away, nodding at Santana.
Puck gritted his teeth. He had driven the Duchess right into the waiting arms of Evans. He knew he had no right to be jealous, to be upset, not after he had been carrying on with Quinn, but it still stung. What hurt the most was that he knew Sam was the better choice, that Sam would treat Kurt the way he deserved. The way Puck wanted to treat Kurt, but for some reason had been unable. Kurt had given him every chance, both to be a good boyfriend and to come clean about Quinn. It killed him that he had always known that Kurt would have been understanding about Quinn, would have let him go and wished them the best.
But no. He had lied. He had cheated. He had done the very thing of which he had accused Finn: he didn't love Kurt the way Kurt wanted, the way he wanted, but he didn't want anyone else to have Kurt either. He had tried to hang on to Kurt so that he wouldn't have to feel the pain of watching his Duchess with another boy.
He wanted to get the hell out of there so that he could barf in private, but he knew Sylvester and Schue wouldn't let him go anywhere, even though he hadn't thrown a single punch. So he'd suck it up and deal with it, crucify Finn like he deserved, and spin the truth to make sure the consequences to Santana were virtually nil.
He knew he was going to lose Kurt, and for that he only had himself to blame, but he would make damn sure that Finn left his Duchess alone once and for all.
And if Evans won the heart of the Duchess, well, maybe then Kurt could finally be happy.
End Notes:
This story roughly takes place during Season Two of Glee, but this is only a marker. You can assume most of the canonical events have occurred in their proper order, though the entire storyline surrounding "Never Been Kissed" has been omitted, as has Dalton Academy. Thus, there is no Blaine. Sorry, Klaine fans (not really)! The canon marker for Medium is Season Six.
This story also contains original characters, which I don't often create, so I hope they're serviceable. I realize this particular story is very niche and doubt it will be widely read, but I hope the few who do will enjoy it.