Chapter Four: Little Padawan, Mushies, and the GFP
By VirtualFaerie
I approached Colin in the common room. It was fairly quiet, class having been over for the day and most people were lounging outside while the weather was still in good humor.
"Hullo, Colin," I said, taking a seat next to him.
He looked up from his work after a moment, saying, "Hey, Gins."
I guess he noticed the look on my face because he closed his brown eyes tightly for a second then opened them slowly, rubbing at his temples.
Was I really that bad?
"What do you need?" he asked.
"Your help," I said, looking at my clasped hands in my lap.
"With what?" he asked slowly, as if he were unsure that he even wanted to ask. If I were him, I'd be scared also. It isn't as if I've always asked him the most ordinary and clichéd things to help me with in the past. There was that one time that I had asked him to help me find where the Bloody Baron… well, we'll save that story for another day. But to say the least, I didn't blame him for being so wary. If I was me, I'd be the same way.
"I need some help with transfiguration," I said.
Please say yes. Please say yes. It wasn't as if it were some harebrained idea like I've had previous times, like that one time with the garden gnomes we found in a flower bed near the castle and I wanted to…. Anyways….
"You need help with the project?" Colin asked, crinkling his eyebrows, something he did often when he was slightly confused – and he seemed to do this a lot in my presence.
I could feel a slightly pink blush coming up to my cheeks as he said this, reminding me of how we'd worked together on it last night. I still can't believe… I can't believe…. Gods, I'm not even going to say it, it scares me so much. What if Ron hadn't been a nosy big brother? Would Colin and I be talking about this right now? Would I even be on my Hunt anymore?
Alright, alright, Ginny, you don't need to think anymore thoughts like this. Although Colin is on the list of potential Prince Charmings, you've got to remember that he's your friend first.
Oh gods, I'm talking to myself. I think I'm insane.
"Oh no," I said. "Not that…well, I might need help with it later…" I trailed off.
Colin cleared his throat.
"But," I continued. "I need help with transfiguring clothes."
Colin blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
"You want me to help you transfigure…clothes," he said hesitantly.
I nodded. "That's exactly what I want you to do."
He shook his head. "I don't even know how to transfigure clothes," he tried, then turned back to his work, scribbling furiously.
"You do to!" I said, standing up and giving him my sternest look. I have been practicing various looks in my mirror over the summer, which I do believe I've mentioned before.
Colin sighed. "Ok, I do. But if I help you, what do I get in return?" He looked up at me quizzically, with one eyebrow raised, waiting for my response.
What was I supposed to say? What does he want in return anyways? There's not much I can give him. I can't give him money. I don't have any, which is the reason why I need help transfiguring my clothes.
"What would you like in return?" I asked, twisting my hands nervously. I have to admit that the look in his eyes when he asked that question did make me sweat. I am a teenaged girl after all. I smiled, "The pleasure of my entertaining company?"
Colin let out a short laugh. Alright, I guess that's a no.
"I already have enough of that," he said. He thought for a moment, then said, "I can't think of anything right now, but when I need something you can be sure I'll come to you."
"Alright," I said. "Sounds like a good plan to me."
For some reason I feel like I'm going to regret saying that. It's like I'm going to have a permanent I Owe You hanging over my head, and I have no idea what Colin's going to want to claim for it.
I shrugged to myself, earning an odd look from Colin.
We shook hands and headed up to my dormitory to get started.
Day Three: Great Hall
Colin and I finished transfiguring most of my clothes successfully. They weren't by any means designer clothes now, but they most definitely weren't so shabby, which is a big improvement in itself. We did have one problem when we found Trevor, Neville's toad, hiding in the pocket of one of my pairs of trousers. Colin had accidentally transfigured one of the frog's feet into a rather tiny green speckled sock, but of course he changed it back.
We wouldn't ever leave Neville's toad like that….
But anyways, that means that I've accomplished three out of four things that I had been on my to do list. Now all I had left was:
Spot Blaise and try to have a conversation with him. Remember to look up meeting a new male in Damsel in Distress Handbook.
That shouldn't been to hard, as long as certain albino ferrets kept out of the hallways. Then there wouldn't be any room for me to accidentally run into the Great Ferret Prince, saving all accidents for the yummilishious Blaise. Have I said before that he had been hit…repeatedly, with the pretty stick? I swear, I've never seen a guy as good looking.
What is that running down my chin.
Oh yes. That would be drool.
Can't even think about him without drooling. Seriously, Ginny! You need to get your act together, there's no way that you can get a guy to like you if you've got drool hanging out of your mouth. And chasing after him won't be so good either.
I have just realized that I really don't know the first thing about charming a guy into liking me. Not one thing. Sure, I've read all of those romance novels, but they don't really help. I'm not going to prance around in some short skirts that show my behind without me even having to bend over. Yes, it may grab some attention. But the goal is to charm guys without using my hindquarters – unless it's absolutely necessary. If there's no other ways, I guess it would be alright to pull out the big guns. Right?
Right. Ok, we're good.
Who's going boy hunting?
Who's going boy hunting?
Ginny's going boy hunting.
Day Three: Random Hallways
So far there haven't been any sightings of any guys that are remotely attractive, interesting, or even old enough for me. This has been a real drag, a let down. You think that some guys would have the generosity to piddle out of their dorms at least once a day and roam the halls aimlessly just so that they can meet their special someone! There really isn't any other way, being that we're in Hogwarts and all. It doesn't exactly have the best club scenes…. That is where people go to get boyfriends, right?
Oh gods, I'm hopeless.
"Hey, Ginny. What are you wandering the halls for?" I turned around and saw Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil coming towards me. They had lots of boy experience. I hear Hermione complaining about how all they talk about is boys and clothes, all the time. Surely they could help me, right?
"Hi," I said, walking towards them. "Do you think you guys could do me a favor?"
They exchanged looks. "Like what?" asked Parvati.
"Well," I said, feeling nervous. It wasn't everyday that I went up to girls that I hardly knew and asked them for guy advice, and I definitely felt weird about asking them.
"Yes?" Parvati prompted, raising an eyebrow.
"Ineedyourhelpwithguys," I mumbled quickly. Lavender grinned. "I don't believe I caught that. Care to ask again?"
Oh damn them. I think they just want to embarrass me. Everyone wants to embarrass me. It's conspiracy! Gahhh.
I put my hand up to my face and groaned. I knew I was blushing, I had to be blushing. I could feel my cheeks burning. "I need your help with guys," I repeated, slower this time.
They both grinned. "Did she just ask what I thought she asked?" Lavender asked Parvati.
"Oh I think she did," Parvati said, turning to give me a look.
I looked from Lavender to Parvati, back to Lavender then Parvati. "Please?" I said in a small voice. Gods, I didn't go around asking for people's help everyday. Couldn't they just skip this crap and get right into the advice.
Parvati shrugged, "Sure, I don't see any reason not to. Never turn down a fellow Gryff, right, Lav?"
Lavender nodded. "Right." She hooked her arm around mine and started to lead me off, Parvati coming around to my other side and hooking her arm around my other one. "Now my little padawan, time for you tutelage."
"Padawan?" I asked confusedly. What the hell was that?
Lavender laughed, "You'll learn soon enough." Then she patted my head with her free hand.
Why am I suddenly scared?
Day Three: Gryffindor Seventh Year Girls' Dormitory
TOP TEN REASONS I SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED PARVATI AND LAVENDER FOR HELP:
10) They giggled, and as I have stated before, I absolutely hate girls that giggle.
9) They wear very shiny pink lip gloss and blush. I would never ever wear blush, because I already blush enough without adding to it. Honestly!
8) When they were dragging (I'm serious, they were dragging) me up to the Gryffindor common room, they had this odd manic gleam in their eyes that made me wonder if they were really human.
7) They believe everything that Professor Trelawney tells them – which is a bunch of codswallop. They also believe that they possess a strong inner eye like Professor Trelawney – which is again, a bunch of codswallop.
6) They wake up extra early in the morning to primp. They need at least an hour to do their hair, and then another 30 minutes added onto that to do their make-up. If they honestly need to spend that much time on trying to make themselves look pretty, they should just give up now. If you need that much work, there isn't really much that can be done for you.
5) They treat me as if I was 8 years younger than them, instead of one year younger. I swear if they call me something that has "little" in it one more time, their pretty little faces might not grace the Great Hall this evening for dinner.
4) They apparently do not understand that I'm on a hunt to find Prince Charming and that I do not want to know ways to get just any shlub to go with me. I don't just want any SHLUB! I want PRINCE CHARMING! There is a very big difference. You can't just find and capture a Prince Charming with the same sort of tactics you would use on just any guy. Prince Charmings are very special in their own unique and fantastic ways.
3) Instead of instructing me only on how to attract positive male attention once we'd gotten into their dormitory, they decided that I was also in need of a make-over. After they pulled out their wands and tubs of make-up, I should have known to run. But of course I'm a silly, stupid girl that doesn't know what's good for her.
2) They seem to think, for some absurd reason, that Ron is fairly cute. Now, please excuse me while I go gag until my lovely breakfast comes up again to greet the toilet. If I have to listen to them comment on how "cute" Ron is one more time, I may have to get dirty. And I'm sure they wouldn't like that – it might cause them to…oops, break a nail.
And the number one reason I SHOULD NOT have asked Parvati and Lavender for help is:
THEY THINK HARRY POTTER IS SEXY!!
I most definitely should not have gone to Parvati and Lavender. I think that I would have been much better off to even have gone to Luna Lovegood for help. At least she would not have put me under the torture of something called a curling iron and various powders put all over my face.
While I think I am much like any other girl in the respect that I do want to look pretty, I've just never really given much thought to makeup. Because, 1) It takes too much time to put on, 2) It costs money, and 3) I don't know how to put it on. There's also the chance that my older brothers would tease me for even trying to wear it, and we all know how I feel about that.
"Now, Ginny, the first thing you have to do while trying to get a guy, is to make sure that it doesn't look like you want a boyfriend," said Parvati, looking at me seriously. I felt like laughing. Why would a guy be interested if I didn't seem interested?
"Uh… But I thought the goal was go get a guy..." I said confusedly.
Parvati nodded slowly. "That is the goal. But it seems that guys like girls that seem unavailable and uninterested. Guys like things that they can't have. According to Teen Witch Weekly, this is because they like a challenge." She held up a copy of Teen Witch Weekly that had "TEN WAYS TO GET A GUY" bolded in huge letters on the cover.
And of course, Teen Witch Weekly is the most reliable source for advice on relationships.
"Okay," I said slowly. "What else?" I figured that the more questions I asked, and the most answers they gave the sooner they would be satisfied to let me leave.
"Be mysterious," Lavender said. "There's nothing more intriguing to a guy, than something that they don't understand."
I blinked.
"Are you guys sure about all of this?"
"Of course!" said Lavender, slightly taken aback. "We've spent years perfecting our technique on attracting guys. Many hours were spent analyzing every article that Teen Witch Weekly had to offer." Somehow, this wasn't very comforting. Why couldn't I just do it my way? I'm sure that my Damsel in Distress Handbook was all I really needed, ignoring the fact that I'm the one that wrote it.
The only thing that I was really worried about was getting Blaise to notice me. I'm sure that once I know who my Prince Charming is, I'll have no problem with him. My Prince Charming will be my soul-mate, we'll connect in everyway possible and have so many things in common that it'll be really confusing of where we each begin and end.
He'll be completely perfect for me – so I won't have to worry about these tips that Lavender and Parvati were giving me, because he'll like me just the way I am.
Right?
I mean…if he is my Prince Charming, then we will be in perfect understanding of each other. There won't be any need for this mysterious and unavailable crap that Lavender and Pavarti were trying to teach me.
Lavender sighed and gave me sympathetic smile. "Being mysterious isn't exactly easy, because we girls love to talk."
Wait, did she mistake my silence as trying to figure out how to be mysterious? I don't want to be mysterious! How can my Prince Charming realize that I am his one true love if I'm being mysterious?!
Parvati nodded and shared a look with Lavender. "There's a lot of work involved with being mysterious. You'll have secret smiles, and then there will be that whole thing with keeping them on their toes. They can never be sure that you do or do not like them. You have to keep them guessing."
I frowned. And guys were supposed to like this? I know I sure wouldn't like it if some guy was playing games with me like that. If anything, I'd drop him like a hot potato and move on to someone less complicated.
"Uhm, you know what? I just remembered that I have to tutor someone in just a bit…" I said, leaping up from the bed and causing some of their magazines to fly down to the floor. "I guess we'll just have to continue this later, huh? Yeah? Okay, see you later."
And then I turned tail and fled before they could protest.
Day Three: Charms Classroom
I'm still not sure of why I agreed to tutor Regina. I must have been out of my mind. Oh wait, I'm always out of my mind. All I know, is that while I am trying very had to tutor Regina and get her to understand the basic rules of Charms, I could be out roaming the halls. And you know what roaming the halls could lead to don't you?
Don't you?
Yes… That's right. I could just "accidentally" run into the most swoonable guy around.
This would be Blaise Zabini in case you didn't know. And if you didn't know, I'd have to say that I'm very disappointed in you. Very, very, disappointed in you. Because, you should know, that the very word swoonable describes everything about him. In fact, I bet the word swoonable was invented just for him, because there really is no other word to describe someone like him.
The wooden door of Flitwick's classroom creaked open and Regina peered tentatively around it. She spotted me and her eyes lit up and she stepped in and closed it behind her quickly. "GINNY!" she said. I could see the spittle flying out of her mouth. I rolled my eyes heavenward. Oh please, oh please, help me. I promise to believe in God and pray everyday, just don't let her spit on me!
She bounced over to me, her eyes bright. "I just can't wait to get started! You have no idea how much I appreciate you helping me! I really am bad at Charms, in fact," she let out a giggle, "I'm probably the worst in my year. Maybe even worse in the whole school!"
I wouldn't doubt it. I nodded slowly and gave her a pained smile. "Then we best get started right away, huh? No time for chit-chat." I don't want chit-chat. I shudder at the very thought of having to be with Regina for this long. Why the hell did I agree to do this?! What on Earth possessed me?
I think I may be every bit as crazy as she is.
Nah, not really. I'm just too nice for my own good. Yeah, that's it. Too nice for my own good.
"Yes, yes," Regina tittered, whipping her wand out of the pockets of her robes so fast it flew up and hit her in the forehead. She frowned momentarily and rubbed her forehead, then beamed at me expectantly. Never have I had someone so excited to be in my presence. It was a bit disconcerting if you asking me. How am I supposed to work around this girl?
I twisted my wand around in my hands slowly. "Well, where should we start?" She looked at me blankly. Alright, not a good question. "Err.. What do you know how to do all ready?"
"I can do Wingardium Leviosa," she said proudly. I tried not to cry. That was first year work. So much to do, so much to do. Why couldn't she have just gone to Flitwick. I thought back and remembered the expression on Flitwick's face when I asked if I could borrow his room to help Regina. Yes, that's why.
"Alright then," I said slowly. "Let's see it then." I rummaged around behind Flitwick's desk and came up with a box of feathers. I picked one up and laid it on a desk. "Go ahead." I said, motioning for her to spell the feather.
Regina took in a long breath and her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth as she held her wand over the feather and stared at it fiercely.
Uhm… Was she planning on frightening the feather away or what?
"Wingardium Leviosa!" she said.
The feather didn't move. Not a centimeter. It just laid there on the desk – mocking me. Ha, ha, what a funny little feather you are. Not moving…she can't even do Wingardium Leviosa like she said she could. Tutoring was going to be hell.
Day Three: Outside of the Castle
Regina was getting a little bit better with Wingardium Leviosa, but not much. She was so slow with Charms, that it really did make me want to cry. Every time she screwed up her eyes and stuck her tongue out of her mouth, I wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry my eyes out. What did I ever do to deserve getting stuck with her?
Now, you might be wondering why we're outside. Well, it's because that after Regina was finally able to get the feather to lift off of the desk, it zoomed around the classroom dangerously, knocking various things from the walls and shelves. I didn't think that Flitwick would like that too much, so outside would be a little bit safer – at least out here, I'll have somewhere to run.
But the thing about practicing outside, is that you can't really – not with a feather at least. There was a breeze blowing about and there would be no way to keep your feather. So what were we practicing with?
Slugs.
Yes, that's right. Slimy, nasty, dirty little slugs.
And the really bad thing about practicing with slugs, was that it seemed that Regina was rather obsessed with…squishing them. She was like a little slug torturer. Why couldn't she just be content with making them zip around in the air? Why? Why did she have to prod them with her wand until sparks flew out of the end of it, lighting the poor little things on fire? Why did she have to step on them and until their guts made mushies on the stone in the courtyard? Why did she have to throw them up against the side of the castle? WHY? WHY? It's INHUMANE!!!
And not only is it inhumane, it's just plain gross.
Now it seemed, that she was amusing herself by not only making them mushies, but allowing ants to crawl all over them and scavenge among the mushies for food. It was horrible!
I couldn't stand it. "Regina," I bit out slowly. "Could you please leave the slugs alone? Honestly, they never did anything to you."
"Oh," said Regina, eyes popping wide open. "I'm so sorry." She stood up quickly and shoved her wand back in her pocket. "I didn't mean to make you angry," she started.
I rolled my eyes. All I needed was for her to start rambling on about how sorry she was. Being mean to slugs was one thing, but did she really have to put me through listening to her ramble?
"It's getting pretty late anyways, Regina. Maybe we should call it a day."
And it was getting pretty late. I glanced up at the sky and saw tinges of purple and pink on the edges of the clouds.
I blinked.
Then I whipped my hand out of my pocket and stared at my watch.
It was 6:56 and I had exactly four minutes to get myself to the Potions classroom before I was late to my first tutoring session.
Hell. Why do things like this always happen to me? Why? I'm such a good little girl.
Day Three: Potions Classroom
I ran as hard and as fast as I could down to the dungeons, running into so many people and skidding around every corner. After what seemed like forever, I finally burst into Snape's classroom, panting loudly and sweaty.
Not exactly how I wanted to be while being tutored by one sexy Great Ferret Prince – never mind that he was a gitacular Great Ferret Prince.
Snape was seated behind his desk, and the GFP (Draco) at a Potion's table not to far off. Snape only raised his eyebrow as I raced into the room.
"You're late," he snapped.
I looked at my watch. One minute. One lousy, stinking minute.
I opened my mouth to try to explain myself, but he raised his hand and cut me off. "No excuses, Weasley. I do hope that you won't be late to your other tutoring sessions. Mr. Malfoy here is sacrificing his time to help you with your grades, and I'm sure that he has better things to do than wait around for you. Be late again and I may have to reward you with a detention." He gave me a greasy smile and stood up from behind his desk. "I trust that you and Mr. Malfoy will be alright alone." He looked to Malfoy. "If you have any problems…."
Malfoy nodded shortly and Snape turned to leave the room, robes swirling around his legs.
Great, just great.
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