Fandom: FMA
Title: Ripples In Spilt Milk
Pairings: Elricest, one sided Roy/Ed, Brief Al/Fletcher
Rating: NC 17
Warnings: Incest, Angst, Yaoi, Lemons

Author's Notes: AU, OC

Word Count: 21,146
Status: Incomplete

Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad. Not mine, so sad.

Summary: In the weeks that Sam had come to know his secret idol, he had learned that Ed did not have a talent for words. But just then, with that simple 'my love', Ed had been eloquent.

Ripples In Spilt Milk

Chapter 4

When Ed caught sight of Al in Xenotime, his knees grew weak. It had been almost a month since that disastrous day. Al was so damn beautiful. That hadn't changed. But… he was so skinny. Wasn't he getting enough to eat?

"Hey, Edward!" Ed looked up to see Russell jogging towards him, smiling brightly. "I knew you'd be along sooner or later."

"Hey, Russell. Long time no see." Ed wondered if Al had said anything about him to the younger Alchemist.

"Didn't I tell you that if Al was here, Ed would soon come along? Didn't I, Fletcher?" Russell reached behind to grab his younger brother's hand, pulling him to his side.

"Hi, Ed," Fletcher said cheerfully. The boy had shot up considerably in the past couple of years. He was a young man now, and reminded Ed strongly of Al.

Ed looked over the boy's shoulder and saw that Al had gone and his heart plummeted to his toes. His brother had to have heard Russell's greeting. Had he run away again? Then Ed realized that Mustang was no longer behind him, and relaxed. It was weird to know Mustang had his back. Weird but good. Who'd've thought?

"Hi, Fletcher," Like Russell and Al, hell, like just about everyone, Ed had to look up into his face. He sighed. Life was really so unfair.

"So, what brings you to our neck of the woods, Ed?" Russell asked, still smiling. Ed was a little confused. Sure, he and Russell had mended their fences that first visit so long ago, but where was the boy's customary wary reserve around him?

"You've come to take Al back home, haven't you?" There was a touch of hostility in Fletcher's voice all of a sudden.

"I'm afraid so," Ed said, smiling gently to soften the blow. Fletcher had always been quite attached to Al.

"Don't you think I might have something to say about that… Niisan?"

Ed turned quickly to Al, startled by the cold bitterness in his brother's voice. There Al stood, Mustang just behind him, the older man's hand on his brother's shoulder. God, Al was even more beautiful then ever before. "Al…" Ed breathed softly. He stepped forward to catch him in his arms, but Al stepped back abruptly, bumping into Mustang's chest.

"Hello, Niisan," there was unconcealed hostility in Al's voice and coldness in his eyes as he looked at Ed.

Russell looked confused and uneasy. "Hey, Fletcher, let's go home."

But Fletcher didn't take his brother's hand. He moved to Al's side and slipped his arm around Al's waist possessively.

Russell coughed and looked beseechingly at Ed. "Why don't you come to dinner tonight? We'd love to have you.

"I won't be there then," Al said stonily, putting his arm around Fletcher as well and pulling the boy tightly to his side.

Ed's world bottomed out. The way Al and Fletcher stood together screamed couple. Nausea rose in waves from his gut. Fletcher was so like Al; kind and gentle and good. Not like Ed, fucked up, hotheaded, always trouble for Al. Fletcher would be good for Al, unlike himself. Al deserved someone like Fletcher. Not someone like himself, who condemned his brother to years in a suit of armor, unable to feel anything. A living hell for someone as in love with touch as Al had always been. Ed swallowed sour bile.

"Go ahead, Al," Ed choked out with difficulty. "I was leaving anyway." With his head held high, shoulder's stiff, Ed marched away. He had to get away, before he broke down and began to bawl.

"Then you'll stay?" He heard Fletcher ask eagerly. "You won't leave me, Al?"

"Fletcher!" Russell said hotly.

"Ummm, yeah," Al said, uncertainty in his voice.

Mustang gave Al a cold look. "You replaced him rather quickly and easily, Al." His voice was low and hard. "You're a fool." Then he turned and walked quickly after Ed.

They walked in silence to the station, and Ed sat stiffly on the bench, his red coat beside him. He was strangely chilled, almost shivering, but was too numb to even put it on. Mustang sat silently next to him. What could you say to a young man as in love as Ed was, when he found that the object of his desire and passion, his hopes and dreams, the guiding force in his life for so long, had formed a romantic alliance so quickly with another?

"Roy…" Ed suddenly gasped, then burst into noisy tears.

Mustang gathered him into his arms, pressing the boy's face into his shoulder and let him cry. There was nothing to be said.

Within moments, Ed shuddered and choked back his grief, sitting up and drying his eyes with the back of his warm hand. Somewhere along the way, Ed had lost his gloves, and only now noticed the fact. Then he clenched his hands tightly in his lap and lowered his head. "I'm sorry I dragged you all the way out here for nothing, general."

So he was general again, was he? "I don't mind. I got out of a day's worth of paperwork, didn't I?"

Without looking up, Ed smiled weakly. "Hawkeye's gonna kill you." Then he shivered. "Do you still want me, Roy?"

"P… pardon?" Mustang stammered. How had the boy guessed?

Ed shrugged faintly. "There's nothing to stop me from reenlisting now that Al doesn't want to be around me anymore." His voice was weary and bitter.

"Oh." Mustang scowled at the way his heart had leapt there for a moment. "Are you sure this is what you want to do, Ed?"

"Yeah. Can I work under you again?" Ed lifted his head and looked around with a rather stunned expression on his face, as if he was just seeing things for the first time. "I… never noticed before how big and lonely the world is. Isn't that strange?"

"I would be honored to be your commanding officer again, Fullmetal." Roy felt moisture gathering in his eyes. He'd never seen Ed look so lost, so small. Yeah, sure, Ed had always been, and obviously always would be short, but his personality was so vivid and confident and strong that he always seemed a little larger than life. Now he was forlorn, and Mustang had to fight off an urge to grab him again and hold him tight before that big and lonely world swallowed him up without a trace.

Ed sat up a little straighter, but it didn't do much for his lost and fragile appearance. "So, let's do it. Right now. You said you had the authority to swear me in immediately. So… swear me in."

"Right here?" Mustang felt stirrings of concern. "Wouldn't you rather do it in Central?"

"Why wait? There's no reason to delay. The sooner I reenlist, the better."

"Very well, Ed." Despite himself and his orders regarding the Fullmetal Alchemist, Mustang had grave misgivings. He stood up, as did Ed, and took his official position.

"Edward Elric, do you solemnly swear to give your allegiance and loyalty to the State of Amestris? Will you serve this country with honor and fortitude, in peace time and in war…"

"You're reenlisting??"

Mustang stopped speaking with a strange sense of relief. Ed didn't even look at Al. He kept his eyes steadily on Mustang.

"Yeah, I am. So don't worry. You don't have to join the military to avoid me now. After today, you will never see me again." The taste of ashes was in Ed's mouth; dry and bitter.

"What about Winry? Are you just going to…"

"Winry is not part of the equation, Al," Ed snarled, having finally reached his limit with his brother. "She never was. Something you just didn't want to hear."

"But… you said her name…" Al's voice became shaky.

"Yeah, I did. But only because I had forgotten she was supposed to come over and check my automail. I was afraid she'd just walk in and catch us making love. Go away, Al. You got what you wanted. You got rid of me and found someone else."

The train steamed in, almost drowning out Ed's bitter voice, whipping his hair, coming undone from his braid, around his face.

Al was frozen for a moment, then the train hissed loudly and people began to board.

"It… it's not like that…" Al stammered.

"No?" Ed's voice was strained, his eyes dead as they finally looked upon his brother. "Then you're not sleeping with Fletcher?"

Al looked away, a guilty blush staining his cheeks.

"Right." Ed battled a moment of numbness, afraid he might actually fall over. He had to get away. "You were right, Mustang. I would rather be sworn in at Central. Let's go." And he bounded on the train as quickly as he could, stumbling into the closest bathroom where he could be sick in privacy.

"Congratulations, Alphonse," Mustang said coldly. "You have managed what no one else ever could. You have completely and utterly devastated the Fullmetal Alchemist." He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a folder. "Your application and test scores. If you still want to enlist, choose someplace other than Central. It would kill Ed to have to work with you now." Then he turned and stepped onto the train, hesitated, and looked back. "Be happy, Al. I know Ed would want that for you. At least you got what you wanted."

"I never wanted this!" Al shouted suddenly.

"No? You never gave Ed a chance to explain, did you? You were very quick to replace him in your bed, weren't you? I would fuck the holy hell out of Ed, if he'd let me. But he only wants you. Just you. Goodbye, Alphonse Elric." And Mustang boarded the train, hurrying to Ed's side. He broke the lock on the lavatory door with alchemy, so he could hold Ed's hair aside and rub his back as the stricken boy heaved up a stomach that had nothing left in it.

Al just stood there, frozen. Mustang had spoken to him, rather forcefully, before he'd confronted Ed in front of the Tringham brothers. But Al didn't want to listen, didn't want to believe. The look on his brother's face when Al had put his arm around Fletcher, and just now, when Al couldn't deny that he was now Fletcher's lover, chilled him to the bone. And now, in light of Mustang's outspoken, but not at all unexpected declaration of his desire for Ed, and why Ed wouldn't take him as his lover… Al realized that he had been greatly mistaken about Ed and Winry. The magnitude of his folly was laid bare and he could not hide from it. He'd betrayed Ed, body, heart and soul. Cast him off like an unwanted garment. And then cruelly flaunted his infidelity in the face of the man that loved him enough to die for him.

By the time Al's paralysis left him, the train was already moving away, half hidden by a bend in the forest. "No, Niisan… Wait!" Al screamed, and began to run, only to stumble over something almost right in front of him. Looking down, he saw a familiar red coat, abandoned in Ed's haste to escape his brother's treachery. He picked it up in trembling hands and staggered over the bench Ed and Mustang had been sitting on only a short while ago. He buried his face in the coat, and the scent of Ed was all around him. "Niisan…" he whimpered, and then the tears came.

Hours later, Al was still sitting on that bench, clutching his brother's coat. Trains had come and gone, but Al never even noticed them. Fletcher finally came to get him as the sun went down, and Al followed him home like a child.

Two days later, a letter from Winry arrived. Despite their differences, Mustang had contacted her and gave her the news. Her letter was scorching. Al read it, and again his heart broke into a million pieces. There was no longer even a shred of doubt that Ed had never longed for Winry, or she for him. Ed had even told her about their love affair, which she supported! After her tirade about Al's foolishness was done, she reminded him that she loved them both, and that they always had a home in Resembool. Al crumpled the letter up in his hand, tears filling his eyes with despair. Ed had never been in love with Winry, or anyone else, except his brother. The brother that betrayed him.

"What are you saying?" Fletcher gasped that evening at the dinner table. "You're leaving? You're leaving me? I know you've been upset since Ed left, and I've respected that. But I love you, Al."

Russell looked down at his half empty plate uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, Fletcher," Al said softly. "But I can't stay. I'm not being fair to you. I'm in love with someone else. I should never have started anything with you. I'm sorry."

"It's him, isn't it?" Fletcher said hotly. "God, sometimes I hate Ed!"

"Fletcher." Russell said disapprovingly.

"It's true!" Fletcher was strangling his napkin. "Edward Elric, the great Fullmetal Alchemist and Hero of the people. Everyone loves him! That… that General Mustang, that came with him the other day; he's in love with Ed. I could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at him."

"Oh, Fletcher," Russell's voice was weary.

"Oh please. Even you're in love with him, Russell. I've heard you at night, moaning and calling his name when you come!"

"Fletcher!" Russell was scarlet with mortification.

"He stole the heart that I wanted, leaving nothing left over for me!" Fletcher was crying now.

"Fletcher?" Russell gasped, staring at his younger brother with enormous eyes.

"And now you, Al. He's taking your heart too!"

"My brother's had my heart since the day I was born," Al whispered softly. "I've been in love with him all my life. And I'll die still in love with him."

Fletcher bounded to his feet, threw his napkin on the table and then clenched his fists. "You think I don't understand being in love with your own brother? I assure you, I do. I've always wanted Russell. But no… Ed had to come along and steal his heart from me, before I was even old enough to claim it myself!"

Russell was sitting there with a glazed look on his face.

"And then you came along, Al," Fletcher went on impassioned. "And I thought, hey, here's someone I can love who will love me back. But no! Damn Ed. Damn him to hell!" He gave a rasping sob straight from his toes, and whirled around and ran to his room.

"Fletcher!!" Russell leapt up, then paused, looking at Al with stricken eyes.

"Go," Al said softly, a slight smile on his pale lips. "Love him, Russell, with everything that you've got. Don't fuck up the miracle like I did."

"I won't," he whispered, then he was gone down the hall after his brother.

Al just sat there for a while, pondering the intertwining fates of the Elrics and the Tringhams. The similarities were almost frightening. Then he got up, slung Ed's coat over one shoulder and walked out the door, locking it behind him.