Chapter Four
After her talk with General Landry, Sam went to the commissary to get something for breakfast. As usual she had left home without eating. She knew it was a bad habit she would need to change, for the baby's sake, so she figured she might as well begin today.
When she saw that Daniel and Teal'c were there, she expected Daniel would be full of questions about her trip to DC. And though she wasn't looking forward to talking to him about Jack, she knew she'd have to do it eventually. Daniel was like a brother to her, more so than her real brother, Mark, had ever been.
Mark was anti-military, and except for their father's funeral, he had barely spoken to her since she joined the Air Force. Their father's job had been the real bone of contention between them. Jacob Carter was always away on one mission or another, and their mother had been lonely and depressed. So when she died of an overdose of sleeping pills, Mark placed all the blame on their father. Jacob had died never knowing his grandchildren, and now he wouldn't know her child either, and that fact made her feel awful.
Daniel was getting his morning coffee, when he spotted Sam. He thought she looked down, so he quickly put the cap on his thermal mug and rushed over to her.
"Sam, how'd it go?" he asked, and though she smiled at him, he was certain she was putting on a brave face.
"Hi, Daniel. I'll tell you later. I really don't want to talk about it here," she said quietly, her eyes darting around the room as they stood in line. There were about twenty people in the room, so it was no place to have a personal discussion. Besides, she already felt like people were staring at her.
Teal'c joined them in line, and Sam smiled at him. "Hey, Teal'c."
"Hello, Colonel Carter. I hope you are well?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."
"Let's all go to my lab and eat. But first you're buying a real breakfast," Daniel said, nudging her toward the yogurt section.
Sam chose some yogurt and granola to go with her bagel and hot tea, Daniel got an apple Danish and a banana, and Teal'c piled his plate full of fresh fruit, and then together they carried their food to Daniel's lab/office, where they sat around his desk and ate.
"Now tell us what happened," Daniel said, and then he popped the last bite of Danish into his mouth and began licking his fingers.
"I think you can guess. Jack wouldn't change his mind, so I brought my stuff home. We're separated…not legally, but it amounts to the same thing."
Teal'c didn't say anything, but it was clear from his facial expression, which looked as though he'd been sucking a lemon, that he was disturbed by her news.
Daniel threw up his hands in exasperation. "No! Sam, you can't give up that easily!"
"What do you expect me to do, Daniel? You know how stubborn Jack can be when he thinks he's right."
"I just don't get it; why is he so against having kids?"
"He thinks he was a bad father."
"He's still blaming himself for Charlie's death?"
"Uh huh." Sam nodded as she stirred granola into her yogurt.
"The boy was curious, as most children are. It was not O'Neill's fault," Teal'c stated.
"We know that, but apparently Jack doesn't. And he says he's too old to start a family, that it wouldn't be fair to the child."
"And letting a child grow up with only one parent IS fair! Jack isn't thinking straight, Sam. Maybe I should go have a talk with him."
"No, Daniel! You are not getting involved in this…either of you! I don't want Jack mad at you too. Just keep out of it."
Neither man answered her, so all she could do was hope that they would do as she asked.
"Well, no matter what happens, Sam, we'll be here for you. You can count on us," Daniel assured her. This brought tears to her eyes, especially when Teal'c added his trademark response, "Indeed!"
She knew she could count on these two men, and knowing it did make her feel better. But they could never replace Jack. He was and would always be the love of her life.
Two days later…
His day have been a long, tiring one, and Jack really wanted to just go home and drop into bed. But when his secretary told him he had a visitor named Daniel Jackson, Jack had a feeling that his day was just about to get worse.
"Daniel, this is a surprise," Jack said warily. This was definitely one of those 'other shoe dropping' moments.
"Hi, Jack. I'm not going to beat around the bush. You are the most pig-headed, stubborn son-of-a-bitch I have ever known!"
"Well, I love you too, Daniel. I assume your visit has to do with me and Sam, so I will just say this once; stay out of our business! Now, if you don't mind, I'm tired and I'm going home."
"Jack, you can't just ignore the fact that you and Sam are having a baby!"
"She's having a baby, Daniel. I'm not."
"Jack, that's not fair! How can you say that? You helped make it."
"I am not having THAT discussion with you," Jack growled low in his throat. Then he slammed the top drawer of his desk shut and locked it, dropping the keys in his pocket as he stood up.
Jack shrugged into his uniform jacket and picked his hat up from the credenza, and then he opened the office door. "I'm leaving now, Daniel. So unless you want me to call the MP's to come and throw you out, I suggest you leave too."
"Can we at least have dinner together? I came all this way."
"Yah, sure. Come on. I need to eat anyway."
"Thanks, Jack," Daniel said grudgingly, and then he followed Jack out of the building.
Jack chose one of his favorite Italian restaurants, where they had pasta and wine. They talked about some of the missions they been on together, the places they'd been and people they'd met. Jack even admitted that he missed going off world with SG-1, and that he couldn't wait to retire. Daniel talked about his desire to write a novel, and about how different the SGC was since Jack and Hammond had left.
They had a fairly civilized dinner, until Daniel brought up the subject of Sam and the baby again, and then Jack got up and walked out.
Daniel took the red eye home to Colorado.
As the weeks and months went by, Jack tried not to think about Sam or the baby, but one day the papers regarding her maternity leave crossed his desk. Time seemed to have passed without him even being aware of it, and the realization that she was only a few weeks away from giving birth to his child hit him very hard. He had tried to convince himself that she was better off without him, that the baby would be better off without him, but that didn't mean he felt better off without them.
He missed Sam desperately! But he knew he had hurt her irreparably, and that she would never forgive him for what he had done. How could she? He had rejected his own flesh and blood! And why? All because he didn't feel capable of being a good father. It had been all about HIM, what he felt, not what Sam felt. He could see that now. He was a selfish son-of-a-bitch who didn't deserve Sam or the baby, so if he had regrets, if he was lonely, then it was exactly what he deserved.
So Jack decided to plug along each day as best he could, to bide his time. And just as soon as he had fulfilled his promise to General Hammond, he would retire for the last time. And then he would take his sorry ass into the wilds of Minnesota, where hopefully he could escape all reminders of what he'd lost, and where no one would ever depend on him for anything again.
It was a warm, early autumn day when Sam gave birth to a healthy 7 pound, 4 ounce baby girl. Daniel was there to coach her through the delivery, and to cut the umbilical cord when Elizabeth Grace O'Neill was born. And when Sam was released from the infirmary with her new daughter, Daniel and Teal'c took them home.
In her spare time Sam had painted her guest room a buttercup yellow. The guys had installed shelves for everything she would need above the changing table, and they had helped Sam hang new curtains and put the baby furniture together too. So now the room was all ready for little Beth, which was what Sam had decided to call her daughter.
"I think she likes the mobile you bought her, Teal'c," Daniel remarked, as the baby looked up at the circling stars and moons.
"I believe she is too young to see it yet," the big man opined.
"Maybe, but she'll love it when she gets older."
"Come on, let's watch the hockey game. We can order pizza for dinner," Sam suggested softly, and then the three tiptoed out of the baby's room.
And so the three friends spent that evening together. And for the next two months of Sam's maternity leave, the three became even closer. Daniel even helped her interview applicants for the job of nanny. And it wasn't long before Sam hired a young woman named Anna, and Sam was back at work in her lab.
She had decided not to rejoin SG-1 until the baby was weaned. In the meantime, she pumped her breasts each morning so Anna could feed Beth during the day. And for the first time in her career Sam left work regularly at 17:00 hours, so that she could spend time with her daughter.
The child thrived, and Sam was relatively happy, as long as she didn't think about Jack. And then, when Beth was almost eight months old, Sam went off world with SG-1 for the first time in fifteen months.
TBC