Trust

Star Trek Voyager Fan Fiction
Season 5/6
Captain Kathryn Janeway had one goal – get her crew and ship back home. The Captain puts her mission above everything else, but would that also stop her from falling in love?
No copyright infringement intended. Purely for fun.
Written by LaughingLee (First fan fiction :)

CHAPTER 4

Captain Janeway was nursing her drink, wishing it was more than strong coffee. The mess hall had emptied hours ago after the dinner rush. Neelix had offered to keep her company, but Janeway had politely declined and asked for another coffee. She had made the right decision, hadn't she? She couldn't become involved with Lee. She had made the only decision as Captain. Then why have I been feeling so awful for the past week, Kathryn thought, shaking her head. Perhaps I am scared of becoming more attached to someone again.

"Captain, may I join you?" Tuvok's question caught Janeway unawares. She hadn't noticed someone had entered the mess hall.

"Actually, Tuvok, I need to think some things through and would prefer a few moments alone."

"Perhaps a second opinion would help," her oldest friend on Voyager replied, taking a seat across from her. "A fresh perspective often highlights other ideas and thoughts."

"I'm not sure if this is something I want to discuss with you, Tuvok," Janeway replied. "This is quite personal."

"I believe you should explore your growing friendship with Ensign Lee." The statement was completely unexpected and Janeway could only stare at her Tactical Officer.

"What? That is almost exactly the same thing Seven said to me. Does the entire ship know I've been spending a little more time, very little I might add, with Lee than before?"

"No, I do not believe so," Tuvok replied calmly. "But, as Chief of Security, I felt a need to become involved."

"I don't understand, you think I should spend more time with Lee, but feel this is a security risk."

"Perhaps I should explain."

"Please do," Janeway said, leaning back and crossing her arms.

"A captain of a Starfleet vessel needs to maintain a certain distance from the crew in order to be an effective leader. As does the crew with each other. But, Voyager is in a unique situation. We have become closer, formed bonds of friendship which go beyond normal shipmates." Tuvok paused, gathering his thoughts. "At first, I felt this would be detrimental to our mission of getting back to the Alpha Quadrant. But, I have revised my opinion. I believe that it is exactly those stronger bonds between us which make the mission more achievable."

"I completely agree, Tuvok, but that still doesn't quite relate to my situation," Janeway interjected. She knew her Vulcan friend had changed slightly since the start of their voyage, but hadn't realised how much even he felt for this crew.

"As Captain, you have also formed closer bonds with everyone on board, but have still kept any personal relationships at a distance. I think this will be harmful to you in future. I have always admired your strength as a leader and as a person. I do not believe that you would ever allow any personal feelings to hinder your duties as Captain."

"I'm not sure what to say," Janeway said. "But, I'm still not certain if this is the right thing to do. Lee and I haven't even started anything yet and I'm already unbalanced. So much can go wrong."

"I believe that you can trust Ensign Lee's intentions," Tuvok replied. "I have had numerous conversations with her closest colleagues and friends and with her as well. I do not think she means you any harm."

"Did you interview all those people?" Kathryn chuckled. "You interrogated the crew because I might become more involved with Lee. Why?"

"I did not interrogate anyone," Tuvok said, lifting an eyebrow. "I simply asked questions in a very subtle manner. I never alluded to my reasons. As Chief of Security, I had to make sure that Ensign Lee was not using her friendship with you for her own gains. That she was not planning to harm you or take advantage of you."

"And from all of this, you concluded that I should take our friendship further?"

"Yes, Ensign Lee seems to make you happy. It is a rare quality to find in another person. And you, perhaps more so than anyone else on Voyager, deserve to be happy."

"Thank you, Tuvok," Janeway replied, slowly getting up. "You were right; a second opinion was very useful." Tuvok nodded and walked with Janeway to the door. She felt lighter. Tuvok had managed to echo what she knew she herself had been thinking.

"I'm surprised how much value you've placed on an emotion like happiness, Tuvok," Janeway quipped as they headed to the turbolift. "I thought Vulcans believed most emotions to have no use."

"Being constantly surrounded by humans may have altered my thoughts on the matter," Tuvok replied and Janeway laughed.

"For the better, I hope," she replied, walking into the lift.

"I believe so," the Chief of Security replied as the doors slid shut.

LLLLL

Kathryn had finally gotten her chance. The major damage from the mercenary attacks had been repaired and they were back on course to the Alpha Quadrant. Kathryn had been trying to get to Lee to talk to her, but some urgent matter always cropped up. She also thought that the Ensign might be avoiding her. But, no more distractions. She had finished her shift on the bridge and was heading to the holodeck. Apparently, Lee was there with Naomi and Seven, probably playing some game or running a Flotter program.

When Kathryn entered the holodeck, she found herself in a dense rainforest. Huge trees towered over her and there were smaller bushes with large leaves everywhere. Everything was so green and beautiful and – Kathryn was violently knocked off her feet by someone almost running straight through her. They crashed to the forest floor and Kathryn felt a few bruises start to ache.

"What? Kath – Captain, what are you doing here?" Lee was bewildered. Captain Janeway was the last person she had been expecting to see. She tried to get up and away from the woman underneath her, but ended up falling over her again. "I'm so sorry, we're playing hide-and-seek and I was trying to get away from Seven's damned acute Borg hearing."

Kathryn was staring up at Lee and couldn't stop smiling. Her heart was hammering against her rib cage and she knew she'd been right in coming here. Lee started to smile, but her face quickly closed again.

"I'm sorry, Captain," Lee repeated, getting up and pulling Kathryn with her. "What are you doing here? Did you need Seven for something?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you," Kathryn said, noticing Lee had immediately stepped away, putting some distance between them after helping her up. "I think you've been avoiding me."

"I've definitely been avoiding you, Captain, but not in any way which compromised my duties," Lee answered, still smiling, but it wasn't reaching her eyes. "I thought it best to put some professional distance between us. Like you requested."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I –," Kathryn was cut short by Lee grabbing her roughly. She pulled the confused Captain with her towards some bushes underneath the nearest tree.

"What are you doing?" Kathryn asked, trying to get free from Lee's grip.

"I can hear Seven's boots! They're going to find me. We need to hide now!" As Lee was explaining, she turned to Kathryn and didn't see a gnarled root in her way. Lee yelped, stumbled over it and into the enormous leaves, trailing Kathryn behind her. They crashed into the bushes with Kathryn sprawled over the Ensign.

"This is ridiculous!" Kathryn exclaimed, trying to get up. "I need to talk to you. You can play this game later!"

"No!" Lee said, pulling Kathryn back down. "I haven't had the best few weeks and I refuse to lose this game as well! So you will be quiet and stay down. We can talk later."

Kathryn's heart ached at the hurt in Lee's voice and simply nodded. Lee muttered a thank you. The younger woman tried to get more comfortable, but was struggling to ignore the warm body lying so tightly against her own. They were well hidden in the bushes. The large leaves had simply bounced back over them after their fall. Kathryn was leaning over Lee and was happy just to be talking to her again. She could see Lee was trying to look at everything but her.

"Are you sure –," Kathryn started to ask, but Lee clamped her hand over the Captain's mouth.

"Shhh! Here they come," Lee whispered back, pulling Kathryn closer and shifting slowly deeper into the bushes. Kathryn wanted to protest, but then heard two people talking.

"Seven, I don't see her," Naomi said. "Are you sure you heard something?"

"Naomi Wildman, my hearing is excellent," Seven replied as they walked closer to their hiding place. "I heard a crash. I think Ensign Lee may have run into a tree in her haste to get away from us."

"Well, I don't see her. Maybe she got around us? Back to home base?" Naomi said, pointing behind her. "Do you think Lee's okay?"

"If she has run into something, she would probably have sustained only minor injuries."

"That's not what I mean. Lee seems a bit sad, don't you think?"

In the bushes, Kathryn glanced down at Lee. The younger woman didn't meet her gaze and kept staring at the ex-Borg and young girl.

"Ensign Lee seems to be functioning normally," Seven replied. "What makes you think she is unhappy? She still laughs the same."

"I don't know. I mean we haven't read a story in a very long time," Naomi replied as the two started walking further into the forest. "She just seems different. Maybe nothing's wrong. I don't know. Let's try and find her. We've already beaten her two times. I want to win this one too!"

"I thought playing the game was the most important thing," Seven said. The rest of her words were lost in the trees as they moved away from Lee and Kathryn.

"Um, I think we can get up now," Lee said after a few minutes. Kathryn realised she had been staring at Lee and she smiled. Lee frowned slightly and they got up. Kathryn swept some leaves and twigs from Lee's arms and back. "Captain, can we talk later? I'll come by your ready room."

"No," Kathryn replied as Lee started to move off, the younger woman desperately trying to get away from Janeway. "I need to talk to you now."

"All right. What can I help you with, Captain?" Lee said, crossing and uncrossing her arms. Finally, she just let her hands hang against her sides. "Did you need something from Engineering?"

"I'm sorry," Kathryn blurted, startling Lee. "I shouldn't have been so harsh with you."

"Thank you, Kathryn," Lee said, her shoulders relaxing slightly. Kathryn smiled at Lee finally saying her name again. "That's very nice of you to say. But, it's fine. I respect your decision. I do think you ended something which hadn't even begun yet, but I respect your choice. I didn't mean for you to feel as if I was avoiding you. I needed to get some distance between us as well." Lee nodded and turned to leave. Kathryn quickly caught up to her, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around.

"Wait, I'm not done," and with that Kathryn leaned up and kissed Lee lightly on her lips. "I was wrong. You were right. I acted too rashly. I want to see where this goes." Kathryn slowly let go of Lee's face and stood back.

"I'm sorry, I lost you after the kiss," Lee replied and grinned. It was the most beautiful smile Kathryn had ever seen.

"I am asking you on a date," Kathryn said. "I want to spend more time with you. If that's what you want."

"Kathryn, I would love that," Lee replied, but frowned again. "But we should probably take things slow. Our last discussion was a bit of a disaster and I definitely don't want a repeat. I know it was partly my fault. I shouldn't have dumped everything on you so quickly. It was a bit sudden."

"And I shouldn't have overreacted so badly," Kathryn interjected. "But, let's start over. Leave that in the past."

"All right. Agreed."

"Good." The women stood looking at each other and Lee started to laugh. Kathryn's smile got wider. She hoped she would never go so long again without hearing this woman's laughter.

"Aw, damn," Lee said, calming down. "Seven would have heard that. I need to get to home base without them seeing me and win this thing."

"All right. Then I'll see you the day after tomorrow?" Kathryn asked with butterflies in her stomach.

"Perfect. I'll get the details from you later," Lee said, starting to walk away. "If I had known this would happen, I would have tackled you to the ground days ago!"

"Maybe it's a strategy to keep in mind in future," Kathryn called after the smiling woman. Lee nodded, waved and ran behind a large tree and deeper into the forest. Kathryn was ecstatic and scared at the same time. But at least she was doing what her heart wanted and needed.

LLLLL

"You didn't have to choose this program," Kathryn said as they entered Leonardo da Vinci's workshop. "Wasn't there something else you wanted to do?" Lee was trying to look at everything at once in the famous inventor's workplace. Kathryn had suggested they use her holodeck rations for their date and gave Lee the option of what do to.

"What? No, this is great. I've never been here," Lee replied, staring at some sketches on Da Vinci's desk. "I know you really like it so I wanted to see why. I noticed you were skipping a lot of your holodeck time so I thought we could work on whatever project you've been busy with." Kathryn raised her eyebrows in question.

"I was tracking the power usage from the holodecks, all right?" Lee replied, slightly embarrassed. "I saw that with everything happening you weren't using your rations. Didn't we already cover my stalker tendencies?"

"I appreciate it, thank you," Kathryn replied with a smile. "It's nice that you noticed."

"So what will we be doing? Building a catapult? A flying contraption? Drawing something? I can pose nude if you like." Lee was going through Da Vinci's book case and turned to Kathryn when the Captain didn't reply. "What? Too soon for a joke?"

Kathryn burst out laughing. "No, I'd just forgotten how you just say what pops in your head! Please don't ever stop doing that."

"I promise," Lee replied, smiling at Kathryn, not quite believing they were actually on a date.

"Who is this, Katarina?" Da Vinci's voice boomed through the workshop as he came in. "I didn't realise you had friends!"

"I'm the only one brave enough to stick around, Master Da Vinci," Lee quipped, earning a playful slap from Kathryn.

"Ah! I like you already!" the master painter replied. "Katarina, your timing is excellent. I have to show you my latest invention." Leonardo da Vinci led them over to a work bench near the window. He started explaining and the two women listened in earnest.

After their holodeck session, Kathryn and Lee went to the mess hall for dinner. They grabbed a table in a corner and started debating Da Vinci's imagination. Lee questioned whether he would have been such a wonderful man in any other era. Kathryn argued in his favour, saying it was back to a nature versus nurture argument. The women carried on discussing the matter while eating their food.

"Can I join you?" Chakotay asked, having grabbed some dinner as well.

"Help yourself to a chair," Janeway replied after a quick glance at Lee. Soon, B'Elanna, Tom and Seven had also joined them and the conversation turned to the recent lack of activity on Voyager.

"We've barely finished all the repairs from our previous adventure," Lee said with a smile. "I like this bit of boredom. But, only for a little while, though."

"I agree," Janeway replied. "Too much of nothing can be just as bad as being under constant attack."

"What were you doing today, Lee?" B'Elanna asked. "Enjoying your off shift?"

"Yes, thanks," Lee replied without even blinking in Janeway's direction. "I got in some holodeck time. Did some old style woodwork. Very relaxing, sort of."

"That sounds nice," B'Elanna replied. "What did you build?"

"Actually, Lee helped me," Kathryn interjected with a smile in Lee's direction. "I hadn't gotten around to my Da Vinci program in a while and Lee offered to help me finish my latest project. We built a kite."

"A kite? What's that?" Seven asked.

"It's a very old type of flying contraption," Lee replied. "It was mostly used for entertainment. Basically, you take a wooden frame, put some paper over it and let it fly in the wind. We had some trouble with ours, though."

"What happened?" B'Elanna asked, noticing Captain Janeway grinning from ear to ear. "Did it crash and burn?"

"In a manner of speaking," Lee said, wincing. "The thing kept falling on me. Captain Janeway would be holding the anchor strings and I would get it up in the air. But as soon as I think it's staying up, the damn kite would come crashing into me."

"Can't you control those things?" Tom asked. "Pull the strings and make it go where you want?"

"What? You can?" Lee turned to Kathryn who finally burst out laughing. "You were doing it on purpose! I was attacked by that thing at least a dozen times!"

"I had to see if I could aim the kite," Kathryn tried to explain between fits of laughter. B'Elanna and Chakotay were also smiling. It was good seeing this side of their Captain. "And you were so distinct in the grass – excellent target practice."

"I can't believe it!" Lee said, leaning over the table and slapping Kathryn's arm. "I was running around like a lunatic trying to avoid that thing! Now I know why I couldn't get out of its way. Kathryn!"

By this time the entire table was laughing, especially when Lee got up to show her strategy for trying to outrun the kite. After getting even Seven to laugh with her detailed demonstration, Lee sat back down.

"You know of course that this will have repercussions, Kathryn," Lee said, glaring at the woman across from her. "I would sleep with one eye open if I were you."

"Is that a threat, Ensign?" Kathryn replied.

"More of a helpful suggestion, Captain."

"Which I will take under advisement, thank you."

"You do that," Lee replied and started laughing again. "But definitely one of your best ever. You had me running around like a crazy woman!"

"I would've paid to see that," Tom said, earning a shove from B'Elanna. "What?" The table laughed and Janeway started to get up.

"This was a lovely dinner, everyone, but I think I should get to my quarters," Kathryn said, walking around and standing in front of the table. "Apparently, I need time to practice sleeping with only one eye closed."

"I'll walk with you," Lee said as the group grinned at Kathryn's joke. B'Elanna and Tom decided to stay for a bit longer and Seven went to regenerate. Chakotay ended up chatting with Neelix, leaving Kathryn and Lee walking to the turbolift alone.

"If I hadn't said anything, would you have mentioned we were in the holodeck together?" Kathryn asked as the two women entered the lift.

"No," Lee replied, turning to Kathryn. "I can understand that you would want to keep your personal life separate from your duties as Captain. So I thought I'd leave that decision to you. I mean, we wanted to take it slow, right?"

"Yes, thank you," Kathryn said as they exited the lift and headed to her quarters. "I appreciate that." The women stopped in front of Kathryn's door and Lee stepped closer to Kathryn.

"But not that slow," Lee whispered, looking deeply into Kathryn's eyes before kissing her lightly. "Thank you for a wonderful afternoon."

"My pleasure," Kathryn breathed, finding herself holding on to Lee's waist. "We should do this again."

"That's the plan, right?" Lee replied mischievously, letting go of Kathryn. "Have a wonderful evening."

"You too." Kathryn slowly let go of Lee and watched as the younger woman walked away. "Cold shower, I need a cold shower," Kathryn muttered, but never stopped smiling as she entered her quarters.