Disclaimer- Gilmore Girls and the characters associated with the show are not mine.

Chapter Four: Dismantling

"Shane! Why didn't you call out to me? I'm here every day, for almost two months, working. We're friends right? I mean, I'd consider myself a friend of your family. I've helped you with the girls, their summer reading, chores, I've told them bedtime stories. Hell, I've even brushed their hair and put it in pony tails. Badly, I admit, but I did it. Why won't you let me help you?" Dean said, sweeping his floppy bangs out of his eyes. He was angry. He'd walked into the living room to find Shane lying on the floor, crying, and she wouldn't let him help her up. Thank God the girls were at the festival with Lorelai.

"Because I don't want you to see me like this, dammit! I tripped, and my stomach's cramping, I couldn't get up," Shane said, trying to yell, but only succeeding in a harsh whisper. "It'll pass if I lay here long enough. Fuck. It's humiliating."

"Bull. That's bull," Dean sat on the floor next to her. She was curled up in a ball on her side, tears running down her ravaged face. The bandana she'd been wearing had slipped, and her hair hung in lanky sections. Most of it had fallen out. "Shane, you're amazing. You're so damn brave for your girls. The only time you've let yourself show your pain is when they've been gone. I think a lot about what I would do, how I would act if I was in your position. You have this incredible strength of will. I don't remember you having it in high school, but I didn't know you very well."

"You didn't know I existed."

"Not true. The first time we had a class together I noticed you. It was American History. You had on a purple shirt, and your eyes were purple. The next day, you wore black and your eyes were more gray. I knew you existed."

"The only girl who existed for you was Rory Gilmore. You know it's true. You dated Lindsey for the same reason Jess dated me. Only you were an idiot, and you married your bimbo," Shane said. She didn't know why she was saying these things, but she wanted him to hurt. He was so good. Such a gentleman, she wanted to push him till he tarnished. Dean looked sad for a second, then distant, but he spoke instead of standing up and walking out. Which she so desperately wanted him to do. Or not, she didn't know anymore, her emotions were all over the place. She was so tired of being sick.

"There's some truth there, except the bimbo part. And don't forget to add we did a really good job destroying multiple lives. I should never have married Lindsey, I wasn't over Rory and Lindsey was a rebound. I was a stupid kid. When I cheated on her, I knew Rory didn't feel the same. I don't know why she slept with me, although looking back it may have had something to do with Jess visiting her dorm right before. I should have put it together then, especially when she took off to Europe with her grandmother before we took the time to talk."

"Like you said, you were a stupid kid. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not normally cruel, and I know talking about Rory and Jess hurts you," Shane said, embarrassed by her actions, and surprised by how open he was being.

"No, it doesn't. Yeah, there's a residue of anger there toward Jess. I carried it around for so long. But, he's different now. Grown up, and I grew up too," Dean replied shrugging his shoulders. "I went through a stage before I started dating again, where I was angry at Rory. Really angry after I decided she was using me as a place filler while she waited for something better to come along. I said some pretty cruel things to Luke, and it took a while, but eventually we reached the point where we could play softball without trying to kill each other again. Back then, I lashed out at everyone, including my family. My sister, Clara, screamed during a fight I was mean, bitter, I think she called me stupid too. It was a hell of a wakeup call. I'd turned into someone I didn't know anymore, and I needed to find my way back to being me. Someone my little sister could look up to and be proud of. After then, I was good. Dated, fell in love. Out of love. Normal."

"Can you do me a favor?" Shane asked, unsure, but wanting to change the subject to something lighter, and less personal.

"Sure."

"Will you shave my head?" Staring into Dean's shocked face, she was surprised when he agreed.

"Let's get you into a kitchen chair, and I will," Dean replied, scooping Shane up into his arms and carrying her. Her hands tightened instinctively around his neck, and she let her head fall against his chest. He was so strong, she realized she could allow herself to be weak with him. The thought scared her.

"Clippers are in the bathroom cupboard," she said, as he set her down, careful and gentle.

"Got em," he said coming back into the kitchen. "I'll cut it first with the scissors, though right?" he asked, taking them out of the kit. "Do you want a towel or anything, to keep from getting itchy?"

"No, I'll shower after. Just go ahead and cut."

Dean tried to keep his thoughts clean, as he lifted sections and chopped them off as close to the scalp as he could, but he kept picturing her naked. Standing behind her, if he leaned forward, he could see down the neck of the loose v-neck tee she wore. He'd been here enough to know they removed one of her breasts. She was too sick to worry about wearing a fake one, so it was pretty obvious. Today, like most days, she wasn't wearing a bra. He could see the scar clearly, although he guessed in time it would fade. He'd googled a bit, and seen pictures of women who'd gotten tattoos, amazing, beautiful tattoos. He could imagine her doing it too. Her other breast was still there, and he supposed it was perfect, but it wasn't the sight of her chest which had him thinking dirty. Although truthfully, and he didn't enjoy feeling like a creep, he wanted to see if her skin was as smooth as it looked. Lusting after a sick woman. Was it wrong to want her? He hadn't meant to do it, but when he picked her up, holding her in his arms, he touched her ass, and the feel of her in his arms, against his chest…She was so small, almost weightless. There was more though, when he thought about her showering, it was her legs and her tiny waist which really sent him over the edge. He'd always been a leg man. Get a grip, Dean. Think about something else, think about Patty. Yup. All better now. Cut the hair, picture Patty.

"Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet," Shane asked. Dean let his hand rest on her head for a second.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ready for the clippers?"

"Do you think I should shave it completely, or leave it stubbly?"

"Depends. Are you going to wear a hat when you go out? I mean, you should to protect your head from sunburn. Trust me, I've had many a summer haircut which turned painful and miserable when I forgot to wear my hat. If so, leave it stubbly. It'd be easier to maintain. If you go the completely shaved route, then you'll need sunscreen when you go out, and what do they use to get the shiny look, a buffer?" Dean asked, trying not to babble as he plugged in the clippers.

"I can picture the sunscreen melting into my eyes, so let's leave it stubbly," Shane said.

Picking up hair off the floor with a paper towel, Dean looked up to see Shane in front of him. Standing, he let the paper towel and hair drop as he stared.

"What is it? Is it horrible?" Shane asked, panicked, running a hand across her head. Dean shook his head slowly.

"You look, you're gorgeous. Your eyes, they're freaking huge. You're all beautiful eyes. It's… Wow. It's a good look for you," he said. Shane looked down at the floor before risking a glance at Dean.

"I'd think you were just being nice, but you look stunned, so I believe you. Thank you. I should shower," she said, watching as Dean swallowed hard.

"Yeah. You should get the hair off. You don't want to," he trailed off as new pictures flooded his mind. Visions of Patty were long gone.

"Be itchy. I know. So, I'll shower. You'll be okay out here?" she asked, feeling stupid and nervous.

"Yeah, I'm going to start the bedroom walls today. Upstairs. Okay then. I'll get my tools," he said before bolting out the door.

What the hell just happened, Shane asked herself as she went into the bathroom.