(A/N) Disclaimer: I don't own Kick-Ass or anything related to him described herein (Although I wish it were).(A/N)
Dave was getting the shit beaten out of him and he was spewing blood like a human fountain. His suit was ripped from all the cuts that he had trying to escape Chris D'amico and his cronies, but that didn't work out so well since right now he was getting his ass kicked by one of them. By some guy named The Beast. The Beast had a fully bullet proof military grade armor with spikes on his shoulders. The Beast kept on throwing Kick-Ass against the wall and punching him repeatedly. "Why wont you just let me die?" gasped Kick-Ass. "The Motherfucker doesn't believe you should be allowed to die, he thinks you would enjoy it." Kick-Ass endured long hours of getting beat up before he was dropped of at his home. He slowly crawled up to the door and knocked weakly. No one came to the door for a good minute when Mindy opened it. "Hello?" Dave groaned and she looked down. "Jesus Dave, you can't be seen here. Someone will deduce who you are." Mindy dragged him in and locked the door. "On Friday next week we're going to pack up and move to one of my safe houses." Dave nodded in agreement.
Life was as it was normally for Dave. Showing up to work beaten in a pulp claiming it was from his friend's dog that he takes care of over the weekends (high risk but at least it pays well). He barely squeaked past the week managing to pass out only four times and being threatened to be fired twice (a new record). On friday he had everything he needed packed into a couple bags and packed up in Mindy's van. "How did you get this van?" "It was daddy's, we used to pretend to be delivery people to scout out locations. In the car, were going to go in a minute." Mindy drove all sort of strange patterns to distract people who might have tried to follow them and the drove all the way down to Massachusetts before turning back around to New York. Eventually they were about only fifty miles from Dave's house, but it took them two full day's to get there.
"Where the hell did he go Julio, they must have left on friday since they sure as hell weren't there when our crew showed up!" "Relax, just remember that we're still gonna break out the rest of your old crew tonight." "Don't screw me on this one Julio, nothings going according to plan, Kick-Ass shouldn't have left, thats just not his style. He must still be in New York." The Mother Fucker paced around and eventually decided on his course of action. "We must stage a fight, or something big, we need to lure Kick-Ass out of his little cave." "Yeah, and how are we going to do that?" "Were going to kidnap someone so important that he'll have no choice but to come and rescue them, or die trying. We're going to kidnap the president." "Why didn't you want me to kill him last time?" "Why do you always have to steal my thunder? I wanted you to kill him last time." "But you said it would be too good for him." "No! I said that's what a movie villain would say, but I am not a movie villain, and I want him dead!"
Dave was up late at night flipping through the channels when he heard some interesting news "The president of the local taco joint has gone missing as of 6:30 this morning. He was last seen in his truck presumably to get more supplies for his taco shop 'Taco de la Manzana" A note was left here in the style of a kidnapping note. It reads Kick-Ass, your move, I repeat it reads Kick-Ass your move." Dave shut off the television and went to go suit up in his superhero suit. He quickly changed and tried to get to the old warehouse where he last fought Chris D'amico. It took him about an hour driving up in the delivery van. Dave got out and looked around but it wasn't long until he heard a voice calling his name. "Kick-Ass", he turned around and got punched by The Beast. An unconscious Dave was dragged into the trunk of a car which promptly sped off once the trunk was shut.
Kick-Ass came to bound to a metal chair. "Hello Kick-Ass" came a voice. A form started to take shape in Dave's eyes when a hand came forth and punched him in his face. "This is where my families end started, so I thought it would be fitting for this to be where your end will start. Another blow landed in Dave's face. The Mother Fucker stepped back and called out "Okay everyone, this is going live in half an hour, don't screw this up for me since you guys will be let out only when Kick-Ass dies, so don't screw up like my father's men did. The Mother Fucker turned around and walked through a metal door which closed with a satisfying thud.