"Don't worry, Kacchan, I know how to separate the whites."
"Yeah, right, "Katsuki harrumphed. "Should I remind you of the last time I trusted you to separate the egg whites from the yolk?"
Izuku failed. He was so ecstatic over his short-lived success that he dropped the entire egg into the mixture. In case one was wondering, they were making fake semen.
Izuku clapped his hands together with a pitiful face. "I promise I won't mess up again. Please?"
"Hell no," Katsuki said bluntly while mixing the corn starch and water. "I'm not letting you waste a perfectly good egg."
"Kacchan," Izuku jutted out his bottom lip, "Why so little faith?"
"I don't know," Katsuki deadpanned as diligently whisked the ingredients together. "Maybe it's the fact that you forgot to order the methylcellulose or the other off-brand we often buy, and because of your dumb mistake, we have to make cum by scratch."
He is pissed. Katsuki cannot believe he is having this conversation. He cannot believe he is making homemade semen.
"In my defense," Izuku piped up, "It has been a while since we've done this."
What he meant was their scheduled bimonthly sexy times. Every two weeks Katsuki and Midoriya would make obnoxious sex noises from their room to attract the attention of gossiping maids to not rouse suspicion about their celibacy. Afterwards, they would wake up early in the morning to set up the crime scene, ripping their clothes apart as if they were animals and smearing the fake cum into their sheets as evidence of their nightlong activities.
It was unfortunate Katsuki had a broken toe, but it was a godsend sent from the heavens. With Katsuki's injuries in mind, they were recommended to abstain from intercourse per doctor's orders. It was the best three weeks of their lives. No more obligated nights of planning out the scripts of their dirty talk. No more nights of scraping their throats raw from the uncomfortable moaning and screaming. Indeed, these three weeks were bliss. Another plus was the postponement of their wedding since Katsuki refused to walk down the alter with a conspicuous limp.
"Hey Deku," Katsuki called out his name, "Stop daydreaming and get the ice bath ready."
"Yeah, yeah," Izuku said dismissively and fetched the ice bath.
Katsuki was an unforgiving soul ever since the incident and slaved Izuku off to do his bidding. They were hassles, but Izuku took partial blame for Katsuki's toe. He felt a tinge of guilt when it was obvious how much Katsuki was itching to run amuck in his natural habitat than warming his seat.
Ice bath in tow, Izuku carefully placed it by Katsuki's side and observed his work from the sidelines, easily mesmerized by his movements. Katsuki mixed the remaining ingredients into the thick makeshift substance with ease. It was captivating. Izuku watched with keen fascination and compared his partner to a professional patissier tempering his chocolate until it held its silky, glossy sheen. Except that Katsuki wasn't tempering chocolate. He was mixing a uniform batch of fake cum.
"There," he said and glared at the offending result. "Make sure to not mess up this time Deku."
Automatically Izuku took the pan and laid it on the ice bath. As he waited for the mixture to cool down, he began to arrange the room along with Katsuki.
"What's next on our to-do list?" Katsuki asked while squeezing out the bottle of lube into the bedsheets.
"We have to visit the tattoo artist to decide on the design for our rings," Izuku replied and unwrapped some condoms.
"Crap, I forgot about that," Katsuki groaned. "Can we postpone the appointment?"
"We can't. The wedding is in three weeks," Izuku reminded him. "We were recommended to finish our tattoos at least a week before the wedding. We're already in hot water for not having a design ready yet."
"Great," Katsuki grumbled.
When the fake semen was at room temperature, Katsuki took a handful and slathered it on the blankets and sheets. Izuku also crawled over to grab some to stain the room with their so-called fluids.
"Kaminari-kun and Kirishima-kun had already picked their rings," Izuku pointed out. "They're scheduled to be inked this upcoming weekend."
Katsuki wiped his hands with a warm towel and surveyed the room for anything that was lacking in the risqué department.
"That's because they're in love," he said, "Also they chose the most boring rings in existence."
"I think it's romantic," Izuku gave him his input. "I don't see what's wrong with having a heart as their ring tattoos.
Katsuki shook his head in disbelief. The nerd doesn't understand. He was probably too caught up in their glee when they announced their ring designs to the whole world. This happened last week, when Kaminari and Kirishima barged into their room with stars in their eyes and illuminated smiles on their faces.
It was annoying as hell. Izuku and Katsuki had the visceral response to brace themselves for any incoming tricks because over the past couple weeks, they were often found as the victims of their pranks. The pranks ranged from trashing their workspaces with newspaper meticulously wrapped around most of their materials or waking up to an army of filled glass cups on the ground. Katsuki was practically a sitting duck thanks to his injury, so he was often vulnerable to their tomfoolery.
However, that would change the next time he sees them. He had already marked them for death. He would make them pay and regret for laying a hand on him. They stepped over a very fine line once they brought out the glitter and glue. That particular prank was a nightmare, and he wouldn't be surprised if he sparkles were still stuck to his ass.
That was beside the point. The point was the Kirishima and Kaminari were embarrassing themselves for acting all proud and mighty over a stinking heart. He expected the two idiots to go for a flashy, more intricate design, but no, it was the most basic and simple heart they could find. Worse, their inked hearts would be incomplete without interlacing their fingers together. They said it was a symbol of their union, their connection, of the trials and tribulations they faced together. Katsuki almost barfed at sappiness and sweetness of it all.
"You're being too critical, Kacchan," Izuku said as he began packing away the ingredients.
"I'm not," he argued. "It's too plain."
He also hypothesized that Kaminari had a low pain tolerance and was being a baby about it. When he implied that earlier, Kaminari said there was a difference between involuntary and voluntary pain. Whatever.
Overall, many would skip out on the skimpy heart. Couples were rarely satisfied with that.
"But if that's what they want to wear for the rest of their lives," Katsuki said while spreading out his arms, "Be my guest."
"Hmm…" Izuku hummed with a pensive look.
The room was debauched to an acceptable degree. Their work was finished.
"It sounds like a big deal," said Izuku. "What kind of rings do you want then?"
"Why should I care?" Katsuki sneered. "It doesn't matter since we don't like each other."
However, it did.
It did ever since he was a young boy and his small chubby fingers traced over the jagged lines of the dragon coiling around his mother's finger, how it represented his mother's strength and his father's wisdom. He was a silly child back then to have such silly dreams. They felt real enough to grasp until adulthood and society kicked him to the curb and opened his eyes. He used to desire owning the most badass ring with the most badass wife, but the novelty of that prospect could never be on the table. He was marrying Izuku Midoriya, a man he could barely tolerate, and yet he had to share this special, intimate experience with him.
"Kacchan," Izuku called out his name.
He turned around. "What?"
Izuku stood there with his makeup kit and carefully handed it to him.
"Here," he said.
Katsuki took it and stared back at Izuku, who went to his designated spot in front of the mirror. Then he craned his neck.
"You don't have to go overboard like last time," he said and tapped the space underneath his jawline. "One is fine."
"You're not the boss of me," Katsuki said gruffly while rummaging for the brushes and eyeshadows.
"I'm not, but I think it's safer to stick with one than several."
Katsuki made no other sound as he held Izuku's chin and did his work, giving him the impression that he agreed, even though he did not say so vocally. They stayed in companionable silence, with Katsuki putting forth his utmost concentration into this one hickey and Izuku drifting off into his daydreams.
Right at the moment Katsuki was about to apply his own hickey, somebody was rapping on their door, which led their eyes to simultaneously lock onto it like a beacon.
It was unsaid, but in the event of any interruption in their endeavors, Izuku and Katsuki would spring into action. They moved lightning fast, so fast that if one took a photo of that split second, they would have only captured a blur. Katsuki swiped his makeup supplies under the bed with his foot. Izuku activated One for All and shoved his foot against the door before their visitor could peek inside.
"Who is it?" he asked.
"Midoriya!"
More knocks followed.
Both Katsuki and Izuku let out a sigh of relief. If the person behind the door was a maid, this interaction would have gone differently.
"Goddamn Shitty Hair," Katsuki complained as he approached the door.
Izuku opened it to let the redhead in.
"This better be important," he said, "I thought it was an emergency or something-"
As Izuku fully opened the door to reveal his friend, Kirishima stood there, stock-still. His eyes were casted downward. His lips were pressed together until they were paper thin. His usual sunny complexion disappeared, and what replaced it was a look of doom, as if he was the harbinger of bad news.
Izuku was about to ask Kirishima if he was fine, but then he spoke.
"She's here," his voice faltered. "Your mother…" he gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing along with the motion. "She…" he glanced uneasily to gauge Katsuki's reaction. "She wishes to see you."
Izuku followed Kirishima's lead and nervously looked at his betrothed. As expected, he was not taking the news well. The man himself gripped the door so tightly until his knuckles turned white. With added force, he would have ripped the door handle from its socket. Spots appeared in his vision. His breathing turned erratic. The memories of the last encounter with his mother flooded through his mind.
"Tell her we'll be there," Izuku said hurriedly and rushed Kirishima out before Katsuki thrashed their room to tatters and shreds, which he did right after Izuku stepped out and closed the door behind him.
He winced when he heard the explosions, but he allowed Katsuki three sole minutes to wreck their room. After he was done wreaking havoc, Izuku slowly walked in to assess the damage. The carpet was scorched. Bed frames were snapped. He found the mattress overhauled to the far corner. There were dents in the walls.
Katsuki strung out every curse word imaginable by man, but they were mostly unintelligible. Izuku kept his mouth shut, wondering if there was a chance he could ease the storms raging in his heart, but he knew the answer. All he could really do was stand there and wait until the man calmed down, and Izuku cannot blame him for his explosive reaction because the last time they met, they ended on bad terms.
Izuku remembered the unpleasant memory as if it was yesterday.
On the day he met Kirishima Eijirou, Izuku Midoriya also met Mitsuki Bakugou, the leader of her kingdom and the mother of his future husband. While Kirishima was a sweetheart who wouldn't dare harm a fly, Queen Mitsuki was a person who would have backhanded that son of a bitch and crushed it with her heels. Kirishima gave them his undying support. Queen Mitsuki did not.
Upon Izuku's arrival to the Bakugou stronghold, they were immediately sent to the throne room. The purpose of Izuku's visit in the first place was to ask for the family's blessings, but Katsuki knew better.
"Kirishima," he called out.
The redhead widened his eyes. He would only be called by his name whenever Katsuki meant serious business.
"If things go south," he continued, "Take the nerd and run away."
Kirishima halted so fast, he skidded on his heels.
"What?" he asked, confused. He followed after Katsuki and shook his head. "No, I can't. That's not the manly thing to do."
"It was not a question," Katsuki snapped. His eyes crackled under the fluorescent lights. "It's an order."
"But-"
Kirishima was not built to be a coward, to abandon a friend he had a strong rapport with after so many years. However, his determination to deny this request withered. Katsuki's burning crimson eyes stopped him. The blond grabbed his scarf and pulled him to his face until they were close enough to catch the definition of their blood red irises.
"Run," Katsuki emphasized with a low growl. "You have someone waiting for you," he reminded him.
Kirishima bit his tongue and looked off to the side. He could not argue with that logic.
Katsuki huffed and released his hold. Then he turned back to the entrance to the throne room. Before he pushed against those ornate golden doors, he lastly said, "Don't die for this cause. It's not worth it."
Izuku, who was trailing behind them at an adequate distance, watched this exchange with mild interest. Though he understood that he was clearly missing important gaps to their conversation, he knew that it held more weight than he can imagine. At the time, he was unaware of Kaminari's existence.
Kirishima kept his mouth closed and nodded obediently.
With that, Katsuki entered the room with a bang. Heads turned to his direction as he strode up to the center of his room to butt heads with his mother, his leader, his queen. Following his order, Kirishima held Izuku's shoulder and signaled him to stand back. This was a fight Izuku could not win unless he wanted to admit a humiliating defeat. Knowing Queen Mitsuki, she would have done more damage than lashing words and a slap across the end of the hall. Only Katsuki knew how to deal with her best.
Katsuki hated lying. He hated it with a passion, but he reasoned that there were good lies, necessary lies. He needed this mindset if he ever hoped to lie with a straight face, to fabricate falsities with conviction. Unlike his partner in crime, guilt did not sit in. Instead, he felt an itch, an itch that would only worsen with each layered lie until it became a full-blown rash. It consumed him.
However, he would lie a million lies because this was for his friends, his family, his people. He would do it over and over again.
"Traitor," the queen snarled as she stepped down her throne to meet her son. "You dare have the gall to show your face here."
He understood her pain. In a sense, he betrayed his people, his honor. He fell in love with the enemy, and instead of running with his tail tucked between his legs, he returned to ask for the impossible.
Luckily there was one way he could gain her blessings. He crouched down and put himself in a basic stance. "I don't care what you say to me," he said. "Give us your blessing, and we'll be on our way."
"Blessing? Ha!" As expected, the woman copied his stance and raised her arms to guard her face. "You can fool everyone, but you can't fool me," she said derisively. She eyed his supposed green-haired lover, who stood at the sidelines.
"You don't even love him."
Katsuki refused to be shaken. Although the sting of facing such opposition hurt, there was too much riding on their plan for him to give up. He promised he would see this through the end even if it meant being labeled as a traitor.
Katsuki's father stood from his throne, already sensing of what's to come. Even though he knew the outcome, he had to intervene, to see if he could stop this before his wife and son destroyed themselves.
"Mitsuki," he pleaded, "Please don't do this."
"No Masaru," she cut him off. "This is between me and him."
The council were watching her actions; they were waiting for her to slip. By law, the person next in line was not the firstborn son. The ruler of the kingdom had to choose a successor they found suited for the role, meaning that it could be anybody, ranging from a lowly peasant to one of their kin, and the council would then accept the candidate or not.
Therefore, the queen could kill her son without remorse. After all, it was not difficult to find a substitute for his absence. Even so, he was her son, the boy she raised from birth to adulthood, but this was for her kingdom. Nobody, not even the child she loved so dearly and close to her heart, could stop her. She detached herself from the situation, lest she crumble down and subjected herself to her motherly instincts.
"I issue a challenge," Katsuki ignored his father's words and did the unthinkable. "Your blessing, and by extension, a treaty to end this war, in exchange for my life. Do you accept the terms?"
"No," Masaru whispered with grief painting his features.
"Yes," the queen said, silently apologizing her husband for her irredeemable choices.
Where tradition stands, they were not allowed to use their quirks during combat. They only fought using their bare hands and wits. There would be a victor once the person surrendered or killed by the opponent's hands.
"Think like a man of action," Katsuki began to incite the code and lunged forward.
"Act like a man of thought," Queen Mitsuki finished and followed suit.
The two were vicious in their attacks, aggressive in their strikes. His mother thrusted her fist to his face, but Katsuki dodged and blocked her blow with his forearm. Then he swooped in to swiftly punch her jaw, but she caught onto his feint and ducked. She scooted into his space and landed a good one onto his cheek. After that, they were relentlessly exchanging and returning blows left and right.
Izuku watched their fight from a distance. A sinking, hollow feeling was in his stomach, and occasionally he would look away, unable to bear to watch a mother and her son tear each other apart. Blood spilled onto the floor. Bruises bloomed on their skin. Izuku covered his mouth, his heart breaking as Katsuki pushed himself further to end the fight. However, that became his downfall when he jabbed one on his mother. His body instinctively retracted when he heard her pain and accidentally stepped on a puddle of blood.
His footwork got sloppy at that instinct, and his mother took that to her advantage. Before Katsuki could berate himself for this mistake, he found himself pounded to the ground, head dizzy from the force of his head colliding against the tiles. He made a choked sound as the air left from his body.
Then the queen suddenly overturned him and twisted his arms until they were locked to his back. He struggled, but the world began to look as if it was turning upside down.
"Yield," his mother ordered. "Yield or die."
Katsuki closed his eyes as the sting of defeat washed over him. The searing pain from the fight finally cooled down to an aching soreness, but really, that doesn't matter as he was reaching the doors of death. He could surrender, he thought. He could live and find another way to end this pointless war.
He turned his head and looked in Izuku's direction, who stood there on the brink of tears, shaking like a leaf blown by a gust of wind. To anybody else, they would have interpreted this scene as Katsuki catching the last glimpse of his lover before he was struck down.
However, he was looking at the person behind Izuku's shoulder. Kirishima was biting his lip, which was probably bleeding since his canines were quite sharp. He knitted his brows in agony and watched, most likely to witness his death like the true friend he is before he could take Izuku away and escape.
People in the battlefield often remarked that in the last vestiges of their life, they would see their life flash by in an instant, but that was not what Katsuki saw as he accepted his fate. He saw an image much better than the bloody, war-torn life he lived. He imagined Kirishima and Kaminari living the life, full of elated joy and happiness. He imagined their wedding day, especially the looks of stupid love on their dopey faces. He imagined Mina fighting other bridesmaids for the winning bouquet, and Sero hopelessly flirting with the wedding guests. He imagined himself there, congratulating his friends with a contentment, easily concealed by the scowl he often wore. It was nice, he thought as he stared back at his mother's face, ready to end this fight once and for all. It would have been nice to see all of that.
Izuku was used to watching people die in front of his eyes, and at one point of his life, he feared that he would have become desensitized to the sight. Then Katsuki Bakugou appeared in his life, showing him how far he was willing to perform this charade. He could not believe it, but it was true. Izuku was shaken to the core and watched in horror as the queen was about to twist her son's neck without shedding a tear.
He probably violated at least five laws and offended the entire nation, but before Izuku could stop, before Izuku could comprehend what was going on, he tapped back to his origins and ran.
One for All electrified his senses. The adrenaline pumped into his veins. Before he knew it, he found himself grabbing hold of Queen Mitsuki's arms and stopped her from committing something she would have regretted for the rest of her life.
From the corner of his eye, Katsuki caught the moment Izuku collided into his mother, thereby releasing her hold on him. Then his vision was clouded as Izuku shielded him with his body, cradling his head as tears splattered his face. Izuku tried to sniffle back the tears, but they kept pouring, as if he couldn't contain the emotions spilling from his eyes. They felt like raindrops on his skin, and though Katsuki wouldn't say it, they felt appropriate for the occasion.
"You idiot," he croaked. "Why are you even crying?"
"I couldn't let you die," Izuku sobbed. "You promised," he told him with fear laced in his voice. "You promised we will stick to this until the end."
"Get out of the way!" Queen Mitsuki shrieked once she heaved herself up from her spot. Rage flickered in her eyes. A suffocating, murderous aura emitted from her as she stomped forward.
Izuku tightened his hold, lowered his head, and awaited the consequences of his actions. He would not be surprised if the queen had strike him where he stood. Katsuki also held his breath, waiting for the final verdict as his mother came closer and closer.
"My Queen," an elder spoke up. "You cannot kill Midoriya."
Queen Mitsuki grabbed a fistful of green hair and yanked it until Izuku felt the roots being pulled out from his skull. He screamed, a piercing scream that echoed in the room. Yet, he continued to shield Katsuki's body with his smaller one. He would not let her harm him. He wouldn't.
"This boy," she spat vehemently, "He was prepared to face the price of death once he interrupted us. Why should I spare him?"
Another elder stood from her place and asked, "Are you willing to incur the wrath of Toshinori Yagi?"
The council whispered amongst themselves, fully aware of the legendary knight's influence and his general fondness for the green-haired prince. If word got out of Midoriya's death in their lands, they would pay the price. Indeed, Katsuki had chosen a troublesome man to be his lover.
Queen Mitsuki flared her nostrils. She looked at Izuku with pure resentment. Then her eyes flitted to her son, and for a moment, a brief moment, the façade she held earlier cracked just a bit. She clicked her tongue and freed his head from her clutches.
"Leave," she said before Izuku could analyze her more.
She then turned and wearily made her way back to her husband's side, who wore a solemn gaze throughout the fight.
As if a magic spell was lifted, life returned to the throne room as people talked and discussed over the future between the two kingdoms now that the pair have proven their love. The impending end of the war was close at hand.
Kirishima hustled to Izuku's side and checked out Katsuki's battered form.
"He's fine," Izuku said with a rueful smile.
Snot caked his face. Dried tears itched his eyes. However, they lived despite the odds. They managed to change something, even though it was just for a little bit.
Eventually Katsuki and Izuku received their blessings, and during that time, Izuku felt a short burst of happiness in his chest that they won. However, he also couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. He remembered Queen Mitsuki's fury, the passionate rejection she held for their marriage. He knew that someday he would have to revisit that bad blood, and he was right. After months of radio silence, Queen Mitsuki appeared back into their lives. Thus, he was put back into the fray, and worst of all, he doesn't know what to expect.