Note: I do not own Bo-bobo or the various victims of any parodies that may show up.

Chapter 4: The First Challenge

Don Patch was beginning to fight the first Wiggin Trainer, Sam the Samurai, after trekking the woods with his new old (cool, an oxymoron!) guide Uldage. Don knows from his mentor Phantom Sword that in order to even stand a small chance against Bo-bobo, he must go on this long journey and challenge the eight Wiggin Trainers. If he can't beat this first challenge, there's no way he could become King of Wiggin Specialists. So he is trying his best. As he charges at Sam, his first attack is a symbol of his extreme dedication:

"Pillow fight!!"

...Or not. Don Patch pulls out two pillows and furiously whacks Sam in the head, the legs, and everywhere in between. Sam was wishing for a more, erm, painful first strike.

"Secret Pillow Bomb!"

Ok, so he got his wish. The samurai flew into the air, knocked back by the explosion. "Not bad," he said, "but can you handle my counter-strike?" He withdrew his sword and rushed at Don. He held out his onion sword to block, but right when he did, Sam disappeared! Don looked around for a while, but Sam reappeared behind him and struck his arm with the blade! Don screamed in pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIYA!!!!" A super-scream, that is. Sam was thrown into a chair. As he was running back, Don said, "I can do that disappearing trick too, ya know. Try me!" Sam attacked again at Don, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke. But Sam still hit something. When the smoke cleared, Sam realized he had cut halfway through-you guessed it-Jelly Jiggler.

"Ow!" He said. "Why must the world be so cruel?" But Sam thought it must be a trick, or perhaps he just likes to join in the torture, and continued attacking Jelly anyway.

Don Patch took his place on the couch next to Uldage. "Gimme some popcorn!" he said, snatching it from him and chugging it down like it was in a cup. See, I told you that you would eat it all and save none for the readers!

Next time we see Jelly, he is in about thirty pieces on the floor. Sam finally saw Don on the couch and said in surprise, "What? That wasn't a disguise?? Oh well."

"OH WELL?!?" said Jelly in a Beauty-like fashion.

"Sorry, just needed a little break!" said Don as he was getting up from the couch.

Uldage hurried up and gathered all of Jelly's pieces and sat back down, trying to tape them together. When that didn't work, he decided to use staples, ignoring Jelly's further yelps of pain. It still didn't work, so he just dumped the pieces in a blender and turned it on.

As Jelly was being blended into even more pieces, (and a barely audible mumble of "I hate my life") Don Patch and Sam continued their fight. Don threw his sphere at Sam, who blocked it with his sword. The sphere split into two pieces and exploded. Another explosion. Sam flew back into another chair. Growling, he got back up and headed for Don again, who now had two Don Patch Swords and parried Sam's sword slash, counterattacking at the same time. Sam disappeared again. Don stared blankly into space this time. When Sam finally reappeared, Don quickly turned around and held up the blender. Sam's sword shattered it, revealing a good-as-new Jelly. While Sam was riddled with confusion, Don prepared his next attack:

"Patchi Power! Sketch Glider Attack!" A large pencil drew a line downhill, and at the end put a bunch of lines going in random directions. It pressed a "play" button that came from nowhere, and Sam was shown sliding in a snowmobile down the line that was just drawn. He couldn't move or do anything, just helplessly blink and enjoy the ride. Once he reached the series of lines at the bottom, he started tumbling wildly about and got launched somehow way up in the sky, followed by the snowmobile. He landed, breaking yet another chair, and soon after the snowmobile hit him in the head. Sam struggled back up and weakly drew his sword.

"I may be weakened, but I'm not done!" He charged back at Don with the sword out. Don Patch looked like a sandbag, just sitting there, waiting to be hit. Sam charged up his sword swing, and whacked Don as hard as he could. He was sent flying across a field marked with measurements and signs every 100 feet. Don hit the ground at the 6,000 mark. "A new record!" said an announcer. But Don got back up unscathed.

"H-how did you do that?" said Sam, shaking.

"You silly," said Don Patch, now back to normal. "Everyone knows that you can knock around the bag of sand all you want, but it's not gonna take any damage! Now I will finish you off! Patchi Power!! End Paragraph!!" He pulled out a large paragraph sign and hit Sam hard with it, launching him into the last chair and breaking it.

"Ugh..." said Sam. "Well fought. I admit defeat. Congratulations, Don Patch. You've beat me, the first Wiggin Trainer, and earned this reward." He handed Don his samurai sword. "May it serve you well in your quest."

"All right!" said Don. "I did it!"

"Well done!" said Uldage. "I'm afraid now is the time I must leave you. You are ready to venture through the rest of this quest alone. You can find the next Wiggin Trainer by going through the Dead Woods, through Krepy Manor, and past the Great Building. But I will leave you with one last word of advice: the more popular you are, the more powerful you will become. Good luck young Wiggin Master."

"Wait, what does that mean?" said Don. "Come Back! Argh!"

Don Patch came out of the woods and came back into the town. He knew where the Dead Woods were all right; they were a dark and forbidden place. Only those who can prove themselves worthy can get into there. He approached the entrance, which was guarded by a strange-looking slime thing.

"Halt!" said the slime. "You may not pass! These woods are very dangerous, which is why they are forbidden!"

"But I'm a Wiggin-In-Training. See?" Don showed him the Samarai Sword he recieved for beating Sam.

"That sword!" said the slime. "You have permission to enter. Be careful..." It stepped out of the way. Don Patch looked at the forest of dead trees, where it was storming madly. Don happily skipped in like a little girl, unaware of the potential dangers he may face.

SD: Don, why'd you have to eat all the popcorn? We're just about out of snacks!

Don: Well, I was hungry! Now can you tell me how I can get more popular?

SD: By having more people read and review, of course! You need tons of fans to equal tons of power! And don't tell Don, but we just found some potato chips. Hurry up and eat them before he learns of this!