Rock, On Revy

Here I am, again, drinkdrankdrunk. (Bottle up. Bottle down.) Alone.

Because if she knew what I do when I come here alone, what I do to atone for the lies and still keep them true. If she knew... If she knew...

Lie One

That I can drink her down, shot for shot, and drag her home. Japanese man magic. Do you want to see the trick? I can take what I do because, up here in my room, I'm practicing. (Up. Down.) Because on the nights I say I'm down early sleeping, I'm up here, keeping that game new with a bottle and my soliloquies. She hasn't caught on yet, my Revy.

Lie Two

That I don't know about the thing everyone sees, the her and the me. I know. I know I'm a star in her forever-yard stare, that she'll shrug it off but kiss back if I dared. But I can't take her hands when each one has a gun, and if she reached back to me, then Two Hands would be...One? Heh. Done.

I can't have her as is; the taking would break her. And, selfish as I am, would I still want the pieces? So maybe if I think long enough (To be or not be...) she will stitch up her mind and make it for me. But the waiting is hard to keep without this bottle. (Up.)

Lie Three

That I don't know about me because I do. I know. I say that I'm saving when I'm taking. Garcia's bright face. Yuriko. Gretel in her bloody lace. Roanapur makes them lost and I make them lose. I say there's no choice while I'm making them choose. A gamble. My game. I'm playing. They're played. And Chang's cutting laughter along on the line. A villain, he says. I don't deny. I come at them sideways- a real winner. Where's my prize?

With Revy, she's all front. You look and see that she's killing you, killing me, with that razor-edge simplicity. (So fucking beautiful.)

So don't think I'm better than her. I'm the worst.

Lie Four

That I'm here because I want to be. Stockholm Syndrome victim me. The truth? I can't leave. This city claimed me long before Revy renamed me. So you can't grieve the loss of man who was never quite here. I blacked out my heart long before fate could steer my body over the slipknot bridge. Back in Japan, I could sleep standing. Now, my dark is too demanding. Can't muzzle that part of me needs lives on the line. (Of course not mine, but yours is fine.) I can't go back to straight streets and all that clean machine with Roanapur under my skin.

I know, I know.

(Down.)

Lie Five

That I know any fucking thing.